Reading Reviews for This is Hardcore
  
24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by peppersweet Lipgloss

8th June 2010:
Oh my, that was the best magic-related game I've ever heard about! I'd really love to leave a properly well-written critical review for this chapter but I really want to read the next, so I'll be quick.

Basically, I usually dislike Dramione-related stories with a vengeance. And I really, really like this. I think it proves how talented you are at writing that you've managed to convince someone as stubborn as me. Well done, this is a really good story! It's sad in places - the trial, etcetera, but some of the lines are completely hilarious. Jolly good (:

Author's Response: Wow. I can't think of a better compliment than someone who is fervently anti-Dramione liking my story. That made my day. :)

I was actually kind of nervous about that game when I posted it so I'm extra-glad you liked that. :)

Thanks you so much for reading and reviewing.


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Review #2, by peppersweet Dogs Are Everywhere

4th June 2010:
Very well written, and Draco also very much in character - double-extra-triple brownie points for you there. It's rare to find him in character in the fanfic world, so this is a rather pleasing find.
One little thing - I think you wrote 'Malfoy Manner' at one point, which should be 'Malfoy Manor', I think. It's very trivial, don't worry about it too much - your chapter is so good that it doesn't really make a difference anyway (:
The length of this is amazing. Wow, I can never do more than 3,000 words at a push! The song choice and lyrics placement - perfect.
Oh, and that last little bit killed me. In a good way. Expect me back to read the rest pretty soon!

Author's Response: Oops! Thank you for pointing out the "Manner" issue. I hadn't noticed that.

I'm really glad you like Draco's characterization. I'm actually a really nice person so it can be a real challenge for me to get into his head. Compliments like that are always reassuring. :)

I have the opposite problem with length that you do (I think 3,000 is a good length though). I usually have to trim them down some. The way this story is planned I'm going to be covering a lot of ground in 14 chapters or so. There is so much I want to accomplish with each chapter that they just naturally end up pretty long.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. I get a warm fuzzy every time I find out someone has enjoyed my work. :)


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Review #3, by bewitched0902 Lipgloss

15th April 2010:
Clever game. It sounds like fun and definitely makes me wish magic existed!! :)

Author's Response: Yay! I was actually kind of nervous about that scene. I mean I thought it sounded like fun, but I wasn't sure if that was just me... So far it seems reasonably well received. Thanks again for taking the time to review. I truly appreciate it. :)

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Review #4, by bewitched0902 A Little Soul

15th April 2010:
Brilliant! I liked the way you wrote the trial. It seemed like Draco had been holding a lot in and it was high time he got it out. Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks! That trial was really hard to write. I really tried to get into Draco's head which proved to be a draining experience. Knowing it was effective makes it all worth while.

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Review #5, by bewitched0902 Dogs Are Everywhere

15th April 2010:
Wow! Really great chapter so far. I like your style of writing and I enjoyed the song you chose for this chapter. Also the placement of lyrics was very well done. I look forward to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Wow, those are all really great compliments. Knowing that people are enjoying this really motivates me to write. I sincerely thank you for the review.

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Review #6, by alannalove2009 Lipgloss (Reprise)

14th April 2010:
very interesting. I kinda feel bad for pansy. but I want Draco to get with Hermione. I can see where this is going and I like it! Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so glad you're still reading this. I know what you mean about kinda feeling bad for Pansy. I am trying to humanize her, but she's still Pansy so it's hard to really pity her. She's fun to write in that respect. Thanks for the review. :)

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Review #7, by Jackson Robles A Little Soul

13th April 2010:
Well. There are instances here that definitely make it one of the better Dramiones. I don't really 'get' song fics, but I think you do it well. The lines of 'poetry' thrown in to help the story along, it's all very good, I think.

And I actually believe the apathy that Draco's showing. Pansy's annoying and I'm sure she isn't gone for good, but who really knows? She's . . . eh. Whoever liked Pansy anyways?

I think this story's believable - which is something that's hard to come by for a Dramione - his father's trial, and you do a pretty good job of explaining his apathy - all that. However I have no idea what Hermione's doing at his trial on a Monday afternoon when she should be in classes - how would she even get out of school? That was my only real qualm with the storytelling here. But I trust you to have a reason for it. So no worries there.

Also, I think Killing Curse is supposed to be capitalized. But now I can't really remember for sure. I mean I'm pretty sure, but not all there, you know what I mean? Like you should always capitalize Muggles and all that - but my brain just doesn't seem to want to work, you know?

I get the music thing a lot better now. It's a good mix, and a good job on your part again explaining it. Muggle studies is being emphasized, and so the WMP makes a lot more sense to me now.

Punctuation . . . I'm not really sure what you expected. Looks to me as though you've got it all down, well, nearly. There are so minor mix ups all over the place concerning dialogue punctuation - but a quick trip to the Writer's Resources section of the forums will have that fixed in a matter of seconds, so no real woes, right?

This chapter is more a dialogue/inner monologue driven chapter, and you do it well, besides Pansy's overly emotional response to Draco leaving her (that character is just an exaggeration on a whole, now that I think about it, but she works very well in the story to propel Draco 'elsewhere') I felt that everything was done cleanly and properly.

I think that's about it. Draco's mildly likable, which is good, as you don't really heap on the despair or the arrogance but really take him to purgatory. I have a feeling there's a certain girl that will be able to bring him cleanly out of that place, don't you? wink wink

Anyways, I do like this. And even without the Dramione label this is a good story underneath. So, again, thank you for requesting me.

JD

Author's Response: When I first stumbled upon this site I didn't get SongFics either, which is what prompted me to write one. In addition to attempting to write a SongFic that works I threw in a very unlikely pairing that takes a lot of work to pull off. Then you factor in my general uncertainty about my prose skills and... well, how's that for a challenge? The fact that you're finding this believable and think the lyrics work is a huge compliment and assures me that I might be up to the challenge.

Yes, I'd be worried about anyone who likes Pansy. Her relationship with Draco is inspired by the scene in HBP when he has his head in her lap on the train. She seems to be infatuated with him while he seems somewhat indifferent (although I guess he had a lot on his mind at the time). I do try to give her more depth in later chapters, not quite as much of an exaggeration.

Though I didn't really spell it out in the scene I figured Hermione would be testifying against Lucius, which would be sufficient to get her out of class for the day. I hope that isn't putting people off. I guess you were able to get over it though.

I always forget to capitalize spells and magical terms. That confuses me I think because they don't otherwise seem like words that should be capitalized. Oh well, I guess when JK created this world she was at liberty to create the written conventions that go along with it. Thanks for pointing that out.

I used to be absolutely perfect at punctuation. It has been so long since I've had to punctuate a complex sentence (I do a lot of script writing which is, naturally, quite different) that I have lost my confident command of the rules. I've just been running on instinct. Maybe I'm being a little too panicky about it though since I don't seem to be doing anything too horrifying. Thanks for checking.

Again, I'm really pleased that you've enjoyed this. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such great reviews. :)


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Review #8, by Jackson Robles Dogs Are Everywhere

12th April 2010:
This review is going to be long. I hope I can fit it in. They're both going to be, but I'll try and skim it a bit.

First things first.

Underlining Daily Prophet is no longer in accordance with normal literary rules, i.e. MLA which is used for writing. You see, when something was underlined in the past it was a hint to the typers (back when typewriters were big) to italicize that text. Now that we have Microsoft Word and Apple Pages (or whatever it's called) we just italicize. Long winded way to go about it, but hey, I figure why not?

And the beginning is nice. I've read the same kind of scenario before (though, without the touch up of Porkey's End Hotel - nice there). Draco at ends with the world and thinking about how in the past he would have been this and would have been that. I'm definitely sure he would have been struck with that thought after the war, and thus, while this idea isn't really original (how could it be?!) you definitely bring it under your control and own it, which is definitely a good thing. And the integration of the song, well, while I can't stand Pulp at least you use them well, right? So kudos for that as well.

Back to reading . . . . I think your representation of Draco's want to be . . . cared for is sort of accurate. I mean, it's the logical conclusion after the war, right? Thinking openly to himself that he wants to be noticed and not shunned (and this can all be based off his line 'they're not the only ones in need of some compassion') - right? Well . . . I don't know. Would he admit that, even to himself? Would he harden or break after the events of the war. I mean, with what happened, it can go either way, can't it? I lean toward the 'it would bitter him up side and he would have these issues for the rest of his life' based off the lack of reconciliation between he and Harry at the epilogue, but as this is a Dramione does it really matter anyways?

I think not. So I guess we can move on, yeah? I'm bummed Arthur's portrayed in a negative light. I think he might have taken pity on the poor boy, but I guess he might have acted this way as well. Who knows who could be trusted? And with the week they've had . . . I suppose it works. I just hope Ron isn't as bad.

And with that I've finished! Ah! What on earth is that about the WPM? You must like the Pulp a lot hm, having Hermione listen to them. I guess they're popular enough for her to have heard of them, definitely. And it's off the wall, kind of weird, but I guess it's okay. I mean, you explain it very well.

You explain everything very well, matter of fact. No narration qualms here - some characterization ones sure, but I'm pleased to see you have such an affinity for proper narration. And I mean it, you're definitely very good at it. You display character emotions, their actions, thoughts, feelings and sentiments very, very well. Not to mention the scene that contains them. So *high five!* I definitely felt that made my Dramione experience better.

And to clarify I do like the canon idea of things (but THAT does not put me about shipping Harmony and Harry/Pansy - weird I know, but who really likes Ginny anyway? And I mean in reading stories I ship that - I usually write to canon) Sorry to digress - but I'm kind of trying to explain my slight aversion to Dramiones. And I do think you've taken an original twang on it from the beginning until now. His thing with Pansy, pinning Hermione to the wall. He's apathy is apparent - and striking. Walking straight up to the Gryffindors like 'whatever' and talking sweet to Hermione jokingly - if that makes sense. And I like that.

I mean, if I must sit through Draco (who I hate as a person, which is funny, because he's in most of my stories) begin to date Hermione, I'm glad you're the one who's writing it. Because this is probably my favorite Dramione, and it's just a single chapter in! So, if we must, we will 'huzzah!!' - but only if we must ;)

The ending is rather interesting. A spunky world you have. Surely. And it's likable - I think. So a thumbs up. Not a resounding 'whoa' - but don't fret. Not a story I've read has done that to me. Not that I can think of, anyways - and you're writing is definitely up there, story wise I'll have to see, but that's what we're doing here, isn't it?! I think so.

I think that's about all I can think of. Oh! And I can't really see many grammatical errors. If there are any I totally failed you as a reviewer *hangs head in shame*

JD! Thanks for the request by the way! I'm happy to read well put together stories.

Author's Response: Okay first I owe you an apology for taking this long to reply. As busy as I have been I still have no excuse for letting it get this far. So I am truly sorry.

Yikes! I guess I need an MLA handbook that isn't from the Stone Age. Thanks for pointing that out.

I had never considered that about whether Draco would admit that need for compassion to himself. The more I think about it, the more I think I might tinker with that line to make the sentiment a little more subtle. The way I see it he is on a sort of precipice, deciding (either consciously or subconsciously) whether or not to give in to hardening off, though I'm not sure how clearly he's thinking or how honest he's being with himself at that point.

Ah! I didn't mean to make Arthur sound like a jerk! Is that really how he comes off? I guess I just assumed we all knew him well enough to give him the benefit of the doubt for not being very nice to Draco. That's what happens when I assume things I suppose.

About the WMP: Ah, the things I do to amuse myself. As you pointed out in the other review there is a focus on the Ministry's push for muggle understanding. Also this story takes place around the time MP3 players were invented. I had a tech enthusiast friend who ordered one out of a catalog back in 98 or 99. It was a clunky thing (a little bigger than a deck of cards) and held a whopping 3 MP3 files. In my head the muggleborn wizard who invented the WMP had a fully muggle brother who was a tech-head and inspired his invention. That just seemed like quite a lot of background to work into the scene so I just took a gamble that it wouldn't turn people off. Risky business. As far as Hermione goes I figured that PULP was sufficiently big in Britain at the time that she would have heard of them. As another quick fun fact the lead singer of PULP played Myron Wagtail of the Weird Sisters in the GoF movie (along with assorted other members of PULP and Radiohead). So it just amused me to throw that part in.

Thank you for the compliments about my narration. That truly helps me as this is my first foray into straight prose in a very long time. I'm really glad you were able to enjoy the story despite the Dramione aspect. If this continues to be among your favorite Dramiones I will be truly honored. Thanks so much for the review.


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Review #9, by crestwood Dogs Are Everywhere

11th April 2010:
Ha Ha the ending left me laughing for hours loved it! 10/10

Author's Response: Yay! That's one of my favorite parts as well. Thanks for the review. :)

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Review #10, by blueirony Lipgloss (Reprise)

9th April 2010:
My God, it has taken me forever and a half to get around to responding to your review request. When you had requested, only two chapters were posted. Now there are four. Let's just leave it at that... I am so sorry!

Now, you asked about punctuation. In the beginning chapter I admit that there are slightly punctuation mistakes - you use the hyphen when you should be using commas and some of your commas use is a bit awry. But, you know what? Once I started reading past the midpoint of the first chapter, I completely ignored all punctuation and was immersed in the actual story. Now, that is a huge credit to you for producing such fantastic writing. In all honesty, I don't think you should be too worried about punctuation - if there were glaring errors, I didn't see any.

You know, ever since the 7th book, I have been searching for a story that really shows the depth of Draco's character. I see him as very tortured and haunted. You show that here. It is so obvious that nothing is right with him, that he is sick of the world, that he is scared and that he is confused. You do it so brilliantly, so brilliantly. It's something you should be very proud of.
The best part is that you have not gotten rid of Draco's arrogance - if you had, I feel that his characterisation would have been severely compromised. But, no. The arrogance is there. And it's interesting that he uses the sarcasm as a defence more than anything else.
His characterisation is amazing. I feel for him, I empathise with him, but the canon Draco is still there. It's very believable.

Now, as far as Dramiones go, I am sceptical. They never seem to work. This does. It is a slow build-up. They are, at most, awkward acquaintances. And that is how it should be. I love the relationship you have formed between Draco and Hermione.

The trial was almost heart-breaking if it wasn't so sad. I'm not sure how much sense that sentence makes, but it's true. I would have really felt tortured while reading it, if I didn't just feel so damn sorry for Draco. And that's a compliment to you! The small speech about Lucius, and the way his mother abandons him is just... poor Draco. I really feel for him while reading this.

You have really taken the time out to flesh his character. And it shows that you, as I mentioned before, haven't forgotten how he was in the books. His relationship with Pansy is interesting, especially now that they have parted ways - it will be interesting to see how and when their paths crossed again.

In terms of description, I think you are using the bare minimum. Yes, you could do with a little bit more, but it is not as though anything is left out. Perhaps just put in more about what the characters are doing, i.e. are they standing, are they nervously running a hand through their hair, that sort of thing. It just adds something extra.

Your pacing is fine. It's slow at some points and fast at others. It makes for a really engaging read.

This was lovely. I have been waiting for a Draco story to delight me as much as this one has for a long time and I'm so glad that you requested!

Joop :]

Author's Response: I used to be SO good with punctuation, now I just feel like a lost pup. It's good to know I'm not doing anything too horrendous.

Your comments about Draco's characterization absolutely made my day. You described almost verbatim what I was going for with him, and I'm glad you picked up on his sarcastic defense strategy. I am so pleased to know that I hit my mark tha well. To me the ultimate achievement is to cause the reader to be emotionally affected by the piece. Knowing that I caused you to feel empathy for a character who can be so hard to emapthize with-- What can I say? It gives me great joy.

I'm glad you think the relationship pacing is good. I kind of had to push myself to slow it down. The events I had initially intended to take place in one chapter have spread out to three. It's good to know I made the right decision.

Writing that trial was an emotionally draining experience, but it was worth it. I don't ordinarily take pleasure in making people feel sad, but for this I'll make an exception. :)

Description is tricky for me. Going from script writing to prose I feel like I'm doing double duty. Details I would normally leave up to an actor/actress I now have to produce. I sometimes feel like my writing reads like stark stage directions (more so in early drafts). This really gives me something to go off of, both going forward and looking back for edits.

I'm truly thrilled that you enjoyed this so much. This review was just wonderful. THANK YOU!


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Review #11, by keroberros Lipgloss

30th March 2010:
Aww... so cute. I actually almost feel sorry for Pansy at this point...almost. Again another excellent chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next. I loved the banter between Hermione and Draco and the Transfiguration Game. Brilliant. Loved the descriptive narrative about Pansy and your use of pathetic fallacy there. Great Job!
Kero

Author's Response: Yay! I was so nervous about this chapter, I toiled over it for ages and still wasn't quite satisfied. Apparently I needn't worry so much. I'm thrilled that you're enjoying my story. :)

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Review #12, by keroberros A Little Soul

30th March 2010:
Good on you Draco! Im really getting in to this a lot. I honestly thought that Draco was going to bottle it at the last minute but to come back in such a Severus type manner was brilliant :)
I feel like saying get over it to Pansy, you really captured her character well. I can find nothing wrong with this from my point of view :D Great Job!

Author's Response: Wow. Thanks. I'm not even sure what else to say, except that your insightful comments really help me to know what's effective about this.

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Review #13, by keroberros Dogs Are Everywhere

30th March 2010:
hehehehe poor Draco. I'm not a big fan of song fics but I really like this one :) I feel so badly for him and thats good. You've written this really well. My only concern is that Hermione perhaps appears to be a teensy bit OOC at the beginning. I think that she may perhaps be slightly more reluctant and guarded around Draco but that's just my personal opinion. I'm excited for Lucius' trial as I can't wait to see what shall unfold. Great Job and on to Chapter Two :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the cc. It's a little hard to covey where Hermione is coming from without using her POV. I did try to convey that she was nervous. I'll have to take another look at it. Thanks so much for being honest! :)

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Review #14, by lustylover A Little Soul

23rd March 2010:
This is definitely one of the most uniquely interesting Dramiones i have read thus far. I love the integration of these lyrics. I think that it adds so much to the story and really takes it up a notch. Please continue to write, I can see this story going far :)

LL

p.s. I wanted to thank you for leaving a request, I truly enjoy giving reviews! if you ever want to check out my dramione, just look at my author page! Thanks again!

Author's Response: I truly appreciate your feedback. When you see so many reads on a story with so few reviews you can really start to wonder. I have been desperately trying to get chapter four finalized, this story has been aching to get out of me for so long. Once it's up I will definately pop on over to your story. :) Thanks again for reviewing.

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Review #15, by lustylover Dogs Are Everywhere

23rd March 2010:
Here is my review! (sorry for taking so long!)

I loved this. I have a certain love/connection to Dramiones (i am writing one myself) and I must say that this has a multitude of qualities that are very appealing to me. It is very well written, the character development is great, you have wonderful descriptions...I could seriously go on. :) I think this was a great beginning. Oh, and I loved the lyrics that you integrated into this chapter.

LL

Author's Response: Thanks for commenting about the lyrics. I feel like the lyrics should really contribute something to a song fic, that it shouldn't be the same story without them. I'm thrilled to hear that you liked it so much, I'm a chronic worrier. Thanks for the review!

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Review #16, by Norwegian Wood A Little Soul

16th March 2010:
Oh my God, Pansy has gone completely mental! Poor Malfoy who has to survive with her by his side. I bet this isn't the last time Pansy sneaks upon Malfoy! I like the way Hermione cares about Malfoy. It's something none other than her could do. She is a warm and caring person, without being a stereo type. Nice. I'll continue to the next chapter! :D

Author's Response: So gald you are enjoying this. I feel like Hermione couldn't sit through all of those trials listening to what Malfoy went through and not feel for him. I'm pleased to hear that she is effective.

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Review #17, by Norwegian Wood Dogs Are Everywhere

16th March 2010:
Ooo... This was interesting to read! And I liked the ending x) I guess you spoke to the feminist in me! But as I said, this was interesting. The story is different from what I've read before, and it seems pretty original to me. The whole situation you've put Malfoy in is very realistic, and that's good. You write really well, and I enjoyed reading it all. I'll hurry to the next chapters before bedtime! :D (And I love your banner!)

Author's Response: Wow, you just outlined two of the things I was going for: different and realistic. It really helps me to know that I am accomplishing my aims. :) I also wanted the banner to stand out, so thanks for that as well (and thanks again to cherrypie3601 for doing what I can't). I'm really glad you liked it and hope you keep reading.

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Review #18, by alannalove2009 Dogs Are Everywhere

26th May 2009:
WOW! i love this plot & i love this story & im excited i get to leave another review because all the other reviews got wiped out. know that you do have a fan who has been watching this story since the first chapter. so dnt keep me waiting too long! (LOVE the Congested Prostate Hex)

Author's Response: I truly appreciate your re-posting of this review. If you're still out there my hiatus is over at last, and chapter 3 is in the queue. I am determined to update on a regular basis from now on. Again, thanks for your fanship.

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Review #19, by OversizedSunglasses A Little Soul

14th March 2009:
God, I absolutely love this story already. I can feel the pain both Hermione and Draco feel. I really like it :) Please update soon!

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Review #20, by OversizedSunglasses Dogs Are Everywhere

14th March 2009:
Wow, I absolutely love the length of your chapter. It's amazing!

Anyways, I'm completely captivated by your story from the first paragraph. You're writing is really good and I just had to add it to my favorites. Now on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Well, it looks like I'm going for the longest review response time ever. (smiles sheepishly). Thank you for the great feedback. If this is still on your favorites list, and I hope it is, I have FINALLY added chapter 3 to the queue.

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Review #21, by Luna Miranda A Little Soul

14th October 2008:
This is a very interesting story, I dont think ive read one that deals with how Draco went to the Death Eaters trials. Its a good story. I like how Draco hasnt changed totally from his usual personality, but that he's becoming a nicer guy than his ''usual self'' and slowly.

Hope you update soon, i look forward to reading more!
~ M

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I apologize for the belated reply. I've been without a computer for quite some time. I do hope to have chapter three up soon. Cheers.

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Review #22, by rowenaravenclaw94 A Little Soul

10th October 2008:
pansy is psychotic! she's incredible! 10/10! good job! update soon!
-xoxo, rowenaravenclaw94

Author's Response: Thank you for appreciating her. She is great fun to write. Sorry this reply is so late, I've had something of a long-term technical crisis.

Thanks again for reviewing.


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Review #23, by rowenaravenclaw94 Dogs Are Everywhere

10th October 2008:
hehe! hermione was so good at the end! 10/10! i luv draco!
-xoxo, rowenaravenclaw94

Author's Response: :) I'm really glad you liked it. The end of that chapter is definitely one of my favorite parts so far. I'm hoping to have chapter 3 up soon.

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Review #24, by alannalove2009 A Little Soul

26th September 2008:
wow, i never liked pansy anyways... but i do feel bad for her.. i hope she get some kind of compensation

Author's Response: Pansy is a lot of fun to write. I'm trying to give her a little more depth in the next chapter (which I'm hoping to have done soon).

Thanks so much for the review. I'm sorry for the belated response. My old computer went to tech heaven, and it's taken me a while to recover.


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