Reading Reviews for Secret Sins
  
35 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nattie Inside Help

18th April 2012:
even if snape did sleep with lily, what would it matter? it's not like snape's harry's father. right? i feel this whole thing has been blown slightly exaggerated, in terms of the reactions of the characters.

Author's Response: Hopefully you will feel differently when the story is complete.

~Moon~


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Review #2, by Akussa Inside Help

7th April 2011:
Hello dear!

Before going with my review, I need to ask you, is there suppose to be a chapter between this one and the fourth? I don't know but reading them one after the other doesn't flow very well. There seem to be a huge gap between them; the characters have changed and react differently from they did before (in a way that is unbeleivable, I have to say).

In itself though, the chapter is good and very enjoyable; simply when read just after the previous one, it doesn't go very well. The storyline is great and your characters are fresh. I really enjoyed reading this story so far; great job my dear!

Akussa

Author's Response: This chapter definetly needs to be rewritten. I had put the story down for over a year and found it very difficult to get back into the swing of things... hopefully I'll find the time to re-read the previous chapters and revamp this one soon. Thanks for sticking with me this far!

~Moon~


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Review #3, by Akussa Coming Clean

7th April 2011:
I have to admit that I found a lot of information in this chapter to be way out of character (eg: the Dursely allowing Harry to stay home). BUT, Ron was just so entertaining and I really, really loved the way you portray him.

I have to say you got me intrigued about the final plan; I really can't wait to see how you will close this story. It is so far very entertaining and I enjoy it a lot. In the end, I have to add once again the info about some errors and typos you should check.

Akussa

Author's Response: There was a lot of information in this chapter, and thereare a few OC moments, but I figured we've gone this far into AU whats one more step. lol

~Moon~


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Review #4, by Akussa Another Look

7th April 2011:
Hello!

This was very different from the previous chapters and I really liked the trip into Snape's mind; you got the character spot on.

Oh Ron, so perfectly clueless; I loved how you got him into the story, very well done.

I have to say that, although the story is going well and in interesting, some small typos and errors through the chapter kind of took my attention away from the story. You should check into that in order to keep the readers full attention to your wonderful dialogues and storyline.

Great work!!

Akussa

Author's Response: I'm so bad about editing.. LOL
I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!

~Moon~


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Review #5, by Akussa Love Thy Enemy

7th April 2011:
I don't know how to react to this chapter, honestly. Here are my thoughts at the moment, after being done with reading the chapter :

I hope Hermione's ok... What an unconfortable moment...

Harry and Draco didn't seem to surprised or unconfortable at being discovered did they?

LOVED Myrtle! Great idea to include her in there!!!


Seriously, I liked the chapter, I found some little things a bit odd and out of character for both Harry and Draco but it's little things. When you wrap everything together, overall, it is good and original and very gripping story. Good job!

Akussa

Author's Response: I hear what you're saying, but there is quite a bit of over reaction coming up so I didn't want to do two scenes like that back to back...

Thanks again for the R&R

~Moon~


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Review #6, by Akussa Occlumency

7th April 2011:
Hello dearest!

I liked this opening chapter a lot. The characterization was pretty accurate I found (except Draco but that's just me I think...) and I love your writting style.

I enjoyed the Occlumency lesson; it was very entertaining and well done. The scenes you chose through the chapter were well done; your narration and detailing are a big plus to keep your reader entertained.

I can't wait to see where you are going with this!

Akussa

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it =D

~Moon~


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Review #7, by Mintleaf Inside Help

3rd April 2011:
I think maybe it would have been nice to see a chapter in between this one and the last with more of Ron and Hermione's reactions. They seemed far too docile about the whiole thing. I thought Harry's reaction to finding out about Snape and Lily was much better though and far more akin to that of a sixteen year old boy. I like that Draco now schemes with the trio but I think the transition needs to be smoother and more realistic. Also, your use of the phrase 'stormy grey' is not good for your story's credibility I'm afraid haha. While this is such a minor detail it's just parodied too often so you might find a description to replace this :) overall a solid couple of chapters so far :)

Author's Response: Honestly I thought this seemed a little out of place too. I had put the story down for over a year and was havning a really hard time getting back into it... I'm going to have to go back and re-read the whole thing from the begining and see if I can smooth out the transistion between the old work and the new work ;)

Thanks for sticking with me this long though!!

~Moon~


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Review #8, by Mintleaf Coming Clean

3rd April 2011:
Hermione is seeming a little too motherly in some sections, but it's not a big deal! Also, Harry's dialogue is a little odd to me. The actual description in what he's saying (you've written) is great but I just dint think it would come out of Harry's mouth! I think this applies to Draco too. They seem less like sixteen year old boys and more like thirty year old women haha. Just because they are gay here, doesn't mean you can't stick a little more to their original characterization!

That being said the explanation of how they got together was good, and as believable as something this out of canon can be :)

I think you migt benefit from a friend reading this and pointing out all the little errors you've made. Alone they're insignificant but when there's several little errors in a chapter it can ruin the flow. I don't really think you need a beta or anything, just get someone to read over it because sometimes it's just impossible to pick up on your own mistakes :)

Author's Response: LOL.. Guess it's been a while since I've actually talked to a teenage boy... LOL
And I think, for some strange reason, that when my brain starts working with the British accent I tend to have them speak more like adults than teenagers.. not sure why that happens though.. lol

Thanks again for your input!

~Moon~


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Review #9, by Mintleaf Another Look

3rd April 2011:
Hm so this look into Snape's mind was much more mysterious! This was a good chapter but it had quite a few tiny errors; nothing that can't be fixed with a quick edit though! I would have liked to point some of them out but I'm on my ipad and it won't let me highlight at the moment because of the silly little Sherlock Holmes icons at the moment haha! :)

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed this chapter! =D

~Moon~


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Review #10, by Mintleaf Love Thy Enemy

3rd April 2011:
'“Walk much Potter.” Malfoy sneered as Harry righted himself', what did you mean by walk much?

Haha as much as I think it would be hilarious I can't see Harry giggling. Even though this is a slash, maybe just remember that they are both teenage boys! That being said, I think this got better towards the end :)

Speaking of the end, I might have expected a bigger reaction from Harry and Draco after just having been found out! Otherwise, an enjoyable chapter! :)

Author's Response: I appreciate your thoughts on Harry ;)
Thanks!
~Moon~


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Review #11, by Mintleaf Occlumency

3rd April 2011:
I'll start off by saying this was well written and your characterization seems good!

I liked the way you wrote the occlumency lesson with Snape a lot! I am puzzled why Harry wouldn't guess that the girl in the vision was Lily, though? I mean if it's meant to be really mysterious maybe you should cut out the line where she says he's gone off with Remus and Sirius. If that line wasn't there, there would be a lot more suspense/mystery :)

I see you've strayed from canon by getting Ron and Hermione together here, but I suppose if Harry and Draco are getting together how much can it stick to canon anyway haha? :) good work so far!

Author's Response: Thanks for the R&R =D

~Moon~


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Review #12, by PotterandPadfoot4eva Inside Help

5th December 2010:
I agree with Sophia Clark. UPDATE SOON! LOVE the story! UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your R&R
I've been slacking latley, but hope to get the next chapter up in the very near future.

~Moon~


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Review #13, by Sophia Clark Inside Help

2nd November 2010:
please please please please PLEASE update soon!!! this is amazing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much ;D I'm sorry it's taking so long for this story to get finiished... life has been crazy and I haven' had much writing time, but I promise the final two chapters will be coming soon!
Thanks for the continued support!

Much Love
~Moon~


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Review #14, by Septyrikon Inside Help

25th April 2010:
Just read up on all the chapters, and I have to say that it fascinates me. The only reason it's not getting 10/10 is solely bound to the fact that I'm not feeling entirely comfortable with Harry and Draco being together lol :D

But otherwise it's a well-written story and I honestly cannot wait to see what you'll pull out of your hat for the next one darlin' ;)

Oh, and about the "doing that to Harry" thing, it works, though I'll feel very sorry for Harry if this happens to be the case ( that is, if it's what I'm thinking it is :) )

Good job!

Author's Response: hey darlin!
Well wasn't this a lovley surprise to wake up to : *gushes over new reviews* :D
I'm so glad you're enjoying this story, though you were probably the last person I expected to read my one slashy story.. LOL. It's coming together now and I've noticed a lot of people drawing all sorts of conclusions.. guess you all will just have to wait to see what happens next.. lol.. Only 3 more chapters to go on this story... so as long as my muse doens't abandon me again you guys shouldn't have to wait too long for the next upday ;) lol
Can't wait to see what you think of the rest!
*huggles*
~Moon~


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Review #15, by amieharry_ginny Inside Help

7th April 2010:
A potion that can recreate a memory?!?!

What does your brain eat everyday??? :P But seriously girl that was one helluva chapter and i can't even believe that you are taking so long in ending this story. Oh and what do you mean when you say that Lily was shameful of something?

*has a moment of silence*

OMMFG Tell me you are not planning on doing THAT to Harry? Black hair? Green eyes? I don't want to give it away, incase someone else is reading this review so if i'm right send me a PM at the forums RIGHT NOW!!! But i loved the chapter as always and can't wait to read the rest. Can we please have some snogging in the next chapter???

Oh and you know you are the best. Why do you need me to tell you that? :D

~AMIE

Author's Response: LOL.. I'm so glad you found the time to come read the update! ;) I miss your reviews.. but I think you've reviews almost everything I've written so I guess that means I need to hurry up and write some new stuff.. lol
I'm still working out the poto.. but I think I know exactly how it's going to work ;) hehe

As far as doing "that" to Harry ... I have no comment *grin* Guess you're just going to have to wait... but we both know that you know me too well... hehe
As far as snogging... maybe... hehe... and if you see it in there you'll know it was writen just for you.. LOL
I've been working on chapter 6 all week ;) It's a slow process.. I hate it when life gets in the way of writing... lol but I promise I'll get it up as quickly as possible!

*huggles*
~Moon~


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Review #16, by benny08jenson Inside Help

5th April 2010:
love it and can't wait for the update!

jenn

Author's Response: :D Thanks! Glad you're loving it ;)
I'll try not to make you wait too long for the update.. LOL
~Moon~


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Review #17, by benny08jenson Occlumency

5th April 2010:
going on to the next chapter!

Jenn

Author's Response: :D Can't wait to see what you think ;)
~Moon~


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Review #18, by gocnocturna Inside Help

21st February 2010:
It was a great chapter, I loved it! I can't wait for more!
10/10!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing! I was starting to fear that no one liked this chapter.. LOL The next few weeks are pretty busy for me, but I'm hoping to have chapter 6 written and through the queue well before the end of March!
Once again, I'm glad you enjoyed it :D
Can't wait to see what you think of what happens next ;)
*huggles*
~Moon~


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Review #19, by MrsWeaselWeasley__x Coming Clean

5th January 2010:
Ah it's amazing right more PLEASE :)

Author's Response: hehe.. thanks! I have a lot on my plate, so to speak, right now. But I will getting back to this as soon as I possibly can.. there are only 3 more chapters left... so as long as I can manage to locate my notebook with my outlines for the last few chapters it shouldn't be TOO long... and I use "too long" very loosley.. lol
*huggles*
Thea


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Review #20, by taylorj828 Occlumency

17th August 2009:
Nice first chapter! Sorry it took me so long, but I kept getting distracted and had to keep coming back to it! I'm very curious and intrigued - about the memory, about someone attempting to make Harry forget. I like Hermione taking care of Harry. And of course I'm eager to what happens with the blond boy Harry just stumbled upon! Great set up! Definitely draws the reader in!

Sorry this is a short review. I'll have more time for the next ones, I'm sure of it!

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the first chapter and that it caught your attention. Like I said this is my first slashy story so it's new territory... lol. Can't wait to see what you think of the next story!
Eagerly waiting for your next review!
~Moon~


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Review #21, by gocnocturna Coming Clean

24th July 2009:
ahhh! please update soon. I really like this story, it's intriguing. if that's even how you spell it. :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for sticking with me this far. Unfortunatly, it's going to be a little bit before I can post an update. I need to finish up a story for the hosue cup and I'm going away for vacation next week, but I'll try to have the next chapter up by the end of August... but no promises ;)
Thanks again!
~Moon~


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Review #22, by gocnocturna Another Look

24th July 2009:
ahh, too excited to write, moving on to next chapter!

Author's Response: what more could an author ask for.. lol

~Moon~


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Review #23, by gocnocturna Love Thy Enemy

24th July 2009:
haha. I feel bad for Hermione. :D

Author's Response: LOL, that feeling happens a lot in my stories ;)
~Moon~


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Review #24, by gocnocturna Occlumency

24th July 2009:
a very nice start, you have a good writing style.

Author's Response: Thank you ;) appreciate it

~Moon~


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Review #25, by rowenaravenclaw94 Coming Clean

2nd January 2009:
that was interesting... 10/10! good job! update soon!!!
-xoxo, rowenaravenclaw94

Author's Response: Thank you so much for hanging with me this far. This story got put on hold for NaNo, but I pormise I'll be picking it up again soon! Only 3 more chapters to go!
once agin tahnks for the R&R
~Moon~


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