And I'm back!
I understand being nervous about this chapter. There is a lot going on -- all the information given to the Muggles, reactions of the various political factions, etc. But you did a phenomenal job with it. I loved the short choppy strings of questions that rise over the hubbub of Muggle chatter.. it felt very press conference-esque.
I really am liking your portrayal of Rufus. Of course he is a flawed character -- this we know from canon, but you're giving his flaws dimension instead of the black and white version of them we see in Harry's POV in the books. I really respect that for all of his flaws, they can all be traced back to him trying to do what is best for his people and the world. I mean, he is trying to preserve the world in from the worst wizard ever -- no small feat.
Typically in a story written like this with such short succinct paragraphs, I'd suggest adding a bit more discription. But I really think the short and snappy style suits this genre and this story really well. As with the last chapter, you're doing a great job!
Still Loving it,
MelissaAuthor's Response: Yes, I'm glad you understand my stress about writing this type of scene. There is some added stress from sympathizing with Scrimgeour, too, I think =]
Thank you for giving old Rufus the benefit of the doubt. I always thought that he was a good person despite his gruffness and I felt sorry for him. His denial and his condescension towards Harry were just ways that his insecurity and desperateness manifested itself - and who could blame him? I would be insecure and desperate too if I was the Minister during those times!
Thank you so much for your reviews! Report Review
So I remember reading this first chapter a while back, and upon deciding to start reading this story again I figured I'd reread to remind myself of everything. I'm honestly surprised I hadn't left a review for this! But here I am.
I think there is a huge void on the archive where political stories are concerned -- and this definitely helps to fill it. :) I love seeing things that aren't based solely on romance (which I myself am guilty of writing, but we'll just set that aside). I mean, HP isn't a romance series, and so it's nice to see something outside that genre. I think you did a great job of setting up the state of the government. Rufus' slipping hold on things, the actual power Kingsley holds. the unspoken game between the Ministry and Lucius. It's all very grim and realistic and all in all very believable. You are doing a fabulous job, and I very much look forward to reading more of this.
MelissaAuthor's Response: I totally agree with you. I think JKR created a fascinating world in which there are so many aspects that can be explored in fanfic, and while there are some stories that do just that, and also many amazingly written romances, it's a shame that there aren't more stories delving into other parts of the HP world.
Thank you for reviewing, and I'm glad you liked it! Report Review
I can honsetly say I'm addicted to this story! I can't wait for an update! There's really nothing more to say than that lol.Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you find it interesting. I should have the next chapter up in a couple weeks - I'm sorry for the wait. =] Report Review
Yay!! Original story! Lol I'm so glad I found this! It's already getting exciting too. I think it's a really interesting idea for a story. I like your writing style as well, it's brilliant! I'm gonna continue reading now lol!Author's Response: Thank you for the review. "Original" is one of the greatest compliments I could recieve on this piece. =] Report Review
Gah! You've got me with just the first two words of this! Haha, I love Dedalus! :P
'“Dissori sam—”he interrupted, but the woman ducked and the spell shot over Bellatrix’s head.
“Petrificus Totalus!” ' - this confused be a bit... there was a lot of space between Bella's head and the spell... was Ded supposed to be interrupting by using the "Petrificus Totalus" spell? I think putting them on the same line would encourage that notion rather than placing the spell on it's own line.
"With another wave of her wand—the pseudo-lightning had since then faded away—Bellatrix sent the remaining Death Eaters’ wands" - the section where you mention that the lightning had faded disrupts the flow of the union of the Death Eaters preparing to get into the Manor... I'd try to slip it in earlier where it would be more timely in it's execution.
But EP! I love this chapter! The way you write multiple characters at one time is really stunning; usually I'm distracted because the bouncing back and forth can be really choppy, but yours flows so well :]
This was such a great chapter - so much action! Not to mention all the will they die? will Bella succeed? is Voldy just going to crush all of them? was epic :]
And this chapter definitely made up for the three month absence :P
Can't wait for the next one!
-JillAuthor's Response: Thank you for the tips. I'll take another look at those parts. I'm glad the multiple characters were written coherently and smoothly - I usually avoid writing conventional battle scenes because it's difficult to keep track of so much action. Bouncing back and forth is more apparent on paper than in cinema, for example. :P
Well, this invasion was so epic that it lasted 4 chapters. They're all up, so you won't have to wait. I'm working on the aftermath right now. Thank you for the long, terrific review! Report Review
Definitely not too confusing or boring. I am liking the progression of the action, you have definitely made me eager to read the next chapter.
I just cant tell you enough how much I love the way that you characterize. The Ron/Hermione scene was exactly how I picture them, bickering. You really were so spot on there. And the infiltration is awesome, I cant wait to see how it all plays out in the end.
Where is Harry huh? Under an invisibilty cloak?Author's Response: Haha. Oh, no. Harry is stuck with Scrimgeour still! The Minister refuses to let him use Ministry resources to attack Malfoy Manor, so he had to sneak his plans out to the Order and hope for the best. Poor dear, it's hard to sit out the fight for once. But he doesn't even know when exactly that it's going to happen.
And wow, I characterized Ron and Hermione well?! Yay! That's a great compliment from you, because I know you're a R/Hr writer. Thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
All right. You can hex me. I am so very sorry that it has taken me this long, I wish I could tell you all of my wonderful excuses, but hey, I am here now right :)
Anyway, your Bellatrix was so spot on it gave me the shivers. I absolutely loved everthing about this chapter. Especially Bella. characterizations were great and you even had me feeling bad for poor Erickson, though it is his own fault that he is in this mess. Great job. Again, so sorry.Author's Response: Hex you? Never! I always love your amazing, supportive reviews. =]
Bellatrix actually writes herself, if you know what I mean. All I have to do is stick her in a scene and she'll act the way she wants to. =] My interpretation of how Bella fits into the whole HP realm differs a bit from the common interpretation, though, so I'm glad you like her so far. And poor Erickson is just a bit of a dud right now - we'll see if he can step up to the plate later.
Thanks so much for the review! Report Review
Eeep! I'm so excited about the update!!!
I love the sense of foreboding in this chapter. It's not into the big action yet, but it worked with the rest of the story. The deep breath before the plunge.
WHERE do you get all of your ideas from?! Russian potions delivery people!? haha it's fantastic!
Everything is so clearly thought out and executed. They have everything planned out, and yet they still meet some difficulties... it's not flawless, and therefore it's perfect! :D
The characters were lovely as well - the Aurors being all 'why can't we get in? come on driver!' and Snape being all 'but I NEED this stuff!' and Voldy being all 'I dunno'. :]
I did feel like there were a couple sentences that really didn't fit in with the rest. It was like you just threw them in there as explanation, but it's was more of you saying, 'yeah this is why' instead of it going on in the story, if that makes sense. Anyways, it was these two:
"he had learned how to drive specifically for missions that required it. Because of this ability, he was now considered a Transportation Specialist for the Auror Department."
"They had spent so much of their lives chasing after and trying to eliminate Death Eaters that impersonating them, even to infiltrate their stronghold, seemed altogether disgusting."
Lovely chapter, hun! I can't wait for the next! :DAuthor's Response: Hey Jill. Glad you liked it. =]
You're right about the deep breath before the plunge, of course. Nothing ever goes according to plan, if I as the evil author have anything to say about it. =] Next chapter there will be some surprises, and if you think they met difficulties in this chapter, well...you'll see. :D
Okay, thanks for pointing out those sentences. Maybe that's not exactly necessary information, haha. Thanks for reviewing! The next chapter will be up super-soon. Report Review
I think this possibly is the first chapter in which I felt slightly confused. And actually, I think it's more due to the intricate Ministry politics and in-fighting and hierarchies than to actual plot digressions. I'm not cut out to be a politician; I don't understand the politicking at all, nor do I have the patience for it. You are following a lot of people, though not all of them make lengthy or repeat appearances.
I really enjoyed the way you described Kingsley in this chapter! Sure, he's a high-powered, important Ministry official Auror dude, but he's still a person. That he would escape to the bathroom to get away from the secrets, only to be forced by bathroom etiquette to abandon an attempt to discover the secrets. And then he listens at a door with his ear! Haha! But only after checking to make sure no one's seen him yet. I got a bit of a laugh out of that one.
Well, well, well. Pius Thicknesse sure is stirring up trouble, isn't he? But he's staying in the background and sending forth others to do at least some of his dirty work. This definitely bodes ill.Author's Response: Okay, the jist of it is that the new order is leaking out and doubts of Scrimgeour accompany it. But it is leaking out very selectively, which means that someone in particular is controlling who gets the information, and everyone else is tight-lipped. How strange. =]
So all the managers [the people of the REAL power base, mind] of the most important departments are now privy. Meanwhile, another someone has called a meeting to "discuss" Scrimgeour's fitness for office. Hmm. I hope that's not too complicated.
Haha, Kingsley. He's one of my favorites, so I try extra hard to give him humanity where I can. We all do these things when we think nobody's watching. =]
Thanks so much for the reviews! Report Review
I actually found the scene at the beginning to be amusing. There was Harry, probably rumpled and messy, brandishing cork boards and scribbled notes for approval, just radiating earnestnes. And there was the Minister, possibly also rumpled and messy, firmly attached to his quill and approval ratings, and radiating standoffishness. What a contrast, and how amusing. It really fits, though, even if Harry did remind me of a slightly more scatterbrained version of Percy. I admire his determination, though, even if Scrimgeour did rightly identify a few holes in his plan.
I am impressed by your portrayal of Voldemort. He is utterly terrifying, very cold and brutal. The way he treated Erickson was completely in line with what I would have expected to read had this been an actual Harry Potter book. This definitely is one of the best characterizations of Voldemort I have read. I could almost (though not quite) feel sorry for Erickson (the slimeball) after the way Voldemort treated him (but he really asked for it, didn't he?). I definitely feel sorry for his wife and child, because they didn't ask for it!
The bit about the newspaper at the beginning . . . Scrimgeour says his approval ratings have dropped 10 percent, according to the Prophet. According to the Prophet. Hm. I wonder if the editor is under the Imperius Curse yet? Once the Prophet begins to suggest that Scrimgeour's popularity is plummeting, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.Author's Response: Haha, I wrote that scene with an undercurrent of humor, but now that you describe it that way...it makes it funnier. =] I didn't make Harry go behind the Minister's back without appealing to him first, because like you said, he's earnest, and as untrusting of the Ministry as he is, he's still thinking for the good of the wizarding world and he's humble enough to put his pride aside. [Which is how he is different from Percy, I suppose.] Scrimgeour, on the other hand, is a politician. And he's only thinking of proving his superiority above Harry, which is quite stupid if you think about it, seeing as not considering the whole Voldemort debacle, Harry is only a seventeen year old wizard living with him. ^_^
Wow, what a compliment! *fans self* Voldemort is definitely one of the harder characters to write. In future chapters, he might be slightly less terrifying, because everything is going his way and he is very happy [although that in itself is quite terrifying]. But here, I wanted the huge contrast between him and Erickson, and I'm glad it worked.
The editor has not been Imperius'd yet - you'll know when she has. *evil grin* Scrimgeour's ratings are dropping by themselves. If Voldy had control of the Prophet, there'd be more than just ratings dropping. =] But you are absolutely correct about self-fulfilling prophecies, which will come into play later. People will believe anything these days... Report Review
No, not too many branches to follow yet.
We got to "hear" the Minister's speech! I was hoping we would, after all the effort he put into it, and that nice scene where he was crumpling up different versions. He sure fixed up a pretty speech, didn't he? But as George and Fred pointed out, he didn't really say anything substantial. It's amazing that so many and such . . . ebullient and flowery words can say so little and mean so little.
Actually, his speech conveyed a lot, even while it was scanty on specific details. He basically told everyone the Ministry has been lying to them for their own good but not to be scared because the Ministry continue to do a great job. Oh yeah, and all is well in the world and there's nothing to worry about . . . and that statement is so credible, of course.
Anyway. Wow, that letter from Ginny (if it can be called a letter from her) was quite something. It was a brief but extremely effective way to give us a glimpse of the inside of Hogwarts.
What I found most interesting about this chapter was the theme you maintained throughout that communication (especially verbal/written) can't always be taken at face value. You showed us several different things: Erickson's letter to Lucius, Voldemort's desire to take over the Prophet, the Minister's speech, and Ginny's letter. You provided great examples of propaganda, censorship, and whatever the proper name is for illicit monitoring of correspondence. All of these things, of course, crop up, particularly during wars, and it adds a chillingly realistic edge to the story.Author's Response: Hey, I'm so glad you caught the speech-within-the-speech. After putting poor Scrimgeour through all that, I figured I'd give him a speech that properly showed off his writing skills. =] At the same time, though, he didn't really have much to say. Other than the stuff that he didn't want to tell the wizarding world, of course.
Great point about the communication - I realize that I focus on that a lot in the story, but I didn't think about it in the context of a war. I figured that Voldemort would exercise control in that area because it seems like the kind of psychological evilness that he's partial to. =] Plus, it will serve his purpose well, as you'll see in about eight chapters. ;P
Thanks for the review. I'm glad you're still enjoying this. Report Review
I hadn't realized until this chapter that this story was AU (that's what I get for skipping summaries and warnings). I knew it wasn't following canon exactly, but I was never expecting Harry Potter to come barging into the Minister's hideaway cottage. I also was not expecting the Ministry to know of the Horcruxes! You know, I think I'm a lot more comfortable when I don't think about what all the government knows--in general and about me.
Anyhoo. I'm just trying to imagine where Scrimgeour could be hiding that has a time zone two hours behind Britain's. I sort of assumed all of the UK had the same time zone, but I could be wrong about that. I never really thought about it. So he must be someplace else, and if the time is faster in Britain, he must be to the west. Where does that put him? Greenland?
Ok, moving on to something more relevant . . . how about that Kingsley. You know, I am quite impressed by that fellow. I'd promote him for sure if I was his boss. In reading this story, it becomes completely obvious why/how he became Minister later.
I suppose it's about time to address the concern you mentioned in your review request about the story spreading out here and possibly becoming confusing. I agree that the story is fanning out. You've certainly introduced a couple of twists that I was not expecting. In fact, I'm finding it extremely difficult to predict anything or decide what to expect. It seems there's a lot of intriguing going on here, and sorting everything out would be quite a task. Having only pieces of plots and plans here and there, I find it impossible to figure out what's going on behind the scenes. I understand the actions that are occuring. I simply mean I'm not privy to whatever planning and secret plots are floating around.
That's likely your goal for this point in the story. You don't want your readers to know who all is a bad guy and just how bad they are, who owes whom a favor, etc. So, to answer your question, no, I don't think it's too confusing so far. You seem to be handling this complicated plot and web of character relationships very well so far.
Feel free to re-request at any time. I have enjoyed reading this story.Author's Response: Yes, it's AU, haha. It's only different in 2 main parts: how the 2nd war is fought [battles and who dies/how they die] and the role of the Trio. The Ministry shuts the "children" out in this story, which is why I started it - to see how the adults could make do without the kids. I have lots of OCs, obviously, but I'd like to think I keep the canon characters relatively intact. Of course, those are 2 VERY BIG deviations from canon, but, oh well. =]
Yay, unpredictability! I have to admit, I take very random things and stick them into the plotline as it pleases me, though they all serve a purpose in the end. Hopefully, I was able to bring some of the plots and pieces together by Chapter 13, the last chapter I posted. I know how aggravating it can be to read a mystery that keeps dropping clues without tying up loose ends until the very end. >.< But I'm glad you like it so far, thanks for the review, and I'll be sure to do so! =]
~Gabby Report Review
Dun, dun, dun! Obviously, as soon as Kingsley mentioned the alarms, I had a pretty good idea of what would transpire. And yes, I do think you described the alarm systems pretty well, though I have to admit to being slightly confused by the tracer. Maybe I missed this, but is it a stone too? Anyway, I think the stone idea is pretty good, because it does allow areas of varying sizes to be covered, and pebbles are inconspicuous and easy to handle. I can see some of the Muggles being less than impressed with a bunch of rocks that are supposed to keep them safe, though.
I love the way you opened this chapter! I knew right off that Scrimgeour was working on his speech, and even though you didn't describe it until a bit later down, I could picture him scratching off each sentence on his rumpled parchment, possibly with another sheet or two in his waste paper basket. I have to admit to being amused as his sentences became increasingly desperate. Let's face it: There was no way on Earth he was going to bang out a decent first sentence before breakfast.
I'm actually beginning to like your characterization of Scrimgeour more now. He doesn't seem quite as needy and useless. I can picture him struggling the way he did in this chapter, and the way he behaved while on the Vidiportal conference seemed very in-character for the way I imagine him. He was grumpy, inflexible, and a bit desperate.
One question. How are they going to man all the tracers without someone realizing something funny is going on? Or has the "new order" been completely leaked by now?Author's Response: The alarms don't really get mentioned much in the chapters to come, because I move on to other things. I wanted this to add to the effect of the impending doom by emphasizing that Voldy takes his time, the villain who simply KNOWS that everything will go his way in the end. Even time is on his side. *shiver*
You're right, though, I just realized I never describe the tracer. It's left to the reader's imagination, I guess. It's just a device that has some kind of indicator [different colors or words, maybe] for tracing the kinds of magical activity in the corresponding area. Glad you liked the stone idea, haha. =]
And oh, Scrimgeour's speech. Just wait till you hear the real thing! ^_^ It's in Chapter 8. He worked so hard on it, the poor dear.
To answer your question: Scrimgeour doesn't think much about that, of course, but Kingsley knows who is trustworthy and who is blindly obedient. Those are the people he'll "shuffle around." There's a limit to how much he can exercise that power, though, and because Thicknesse is the Head of a subdivision in that department, it's a problem. Thicknesse, as a Head, knows about the new order. You'll see who else finds out in later chapters. =] Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
I do not have an opportunity to say this very often, but I very much enjoy it when HP fanfic authors take on more serious, political topics. The Ministry is such a huge part of Wizarding Britain, and so many witches and wizards are employed there that it seems almost odd not to have stories that explore the Ministry more in depth.
That said, this is the best political fic I've come across on this site. You're covering the inter-office politics, international politics, and . . . erm, I don't know that there's a specific word for it, but I guess I'll call it Wizard/Muggle politics. In reading this story, I think I'm getting a good feel for the intrigue in the upper echelons of the Ministry, as well as a sense of impending urgency and doom--mainly through Scrimgeour's panic and somewhat bumbling attitude.
Personally, I've always pictured Scrimgeour as a little more firm than you've portrayed him here. Unyielding, to be sure, always pressing for an advantage and likely scared and uncertain, but an ex-Auror head too. To me, he seemed excessively inept and frightened here. However, I can see where you're coming from in portraying him that way, and it does allow you to contrast with the much-better (by comparison) Kingsley and set the seeds for Kingsley's future job as Minister.Author's Response: Well, not to say whether this is good or bad, but I think a fandom tends to focus more on the ships and the glamourous characters, and HPFF is no exception. I like political stories - this is going to become more than only political, but it definitely started out that way - and I don't mind that there aren't many of these. That said, your compliment means the world to me. =]
I'm glad you feel the urgency and doom - that was written into Scrimgeour with a humorous undertone, of course, but also to show that, like all governments, the Ministry only feigned indifference to Voldemort because they couldn't look like they were losing control, even long after they already lost it.
Scrimgeour is under a lot of stress right now - he seems to me like the kind of man who's gruff and firm when he feels secure in his position. I played with the idea of making him even MORE gruff under pressure, but I thought the distinction wouldn't be clear enough, so I made him wavering and anxious. He still isn't the most open-minded leader, after all. You're completely right about Kingsley. =] Thanks for the review! Report Review
Eep! Another chapter! YAY!
I loved the length! So long and so much to read and enjoy.
This chapter was amazing. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, enjoying every bit of it.
The Death Eater scene with Ron, Kingsley, Remus, and the others was fantastic. It was well written and quite a thriller. I really don't have much CC. I don't. I loved the crocodile bit. ;)
Let me know when there's an update! Great job, dear!
10/10Author's Response: Hey Drue! Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you thought it was exciting. It's going to get a little less sneaky and more battle-y next chapter. =]
These next few "battle chapters" will be longer because there's a lot to cover but I don't want to drag it out to like, 7 chapters. This is #1 of 4. =] Glad you like the length.
Oh, yes, crocodiles. I thought it'd be cute, but at the same time useful because they have no way of talking to each other. This way, if something goes wrong [as it will - heh, I'm an evil authoress] at least they can keep the times in mind.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Oh my goodness! It's all so lively and exciting!
The thrill of this chapter was amazing! Oh my gosh, the battle begins next chapter! Eeee, I'm so excited!
Let me know when there's an update! I can't wait!
10/10Author's Response: Haha, thanks for coming by. Yes, the battle starts next chapter. I'm actually going to put it up quite soon, so you don't have too long to wait! I'm glad you thought this was exciting - it's about time the action started. Thanks for the review!
~CSG Report Review
ha! That read much easier than the others. I wonder what's going to happen, and good thing I have the 10 word limit, or else I might not have seen that this story would interest me.
I have a foreboding feeling about the poor old guy. Pathetic and tiresome as his character is, I wonder what will happen. Though I do know.
Nice work! Thank you for asking me to read--every since I've done this I've found there are plenty of stories well written on the site! A very welcome fact!
Anyhow, cheers!Author's Response: Whoops, I swear I responded to this...
But yeah, the boring backstory stuff is pretty much over. Things are starting to happen now. Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you thought it was well written! =]
~CSG Report Review
I just noticed something--you're first to chapters remind me of a Tom Clancy story. I was trying to think of some other author I've read.
Or at least heard of--and he fits!
(Which is good thing, because the only other thing I could think of was C-SPAN)
Not that it's bad. But it's official, and to write a story along these lines it has to be. My scruples are gone, and I can read this more easily now.
I laughed at the Japanese leaders and those that agreed with him? Really? A trap? and a name! That's amazing. Gotta come up with it somehow right?
If I were Rufus, I would have gone for other magical government's help! I'm sure he already did though...probably scared them off with his beard...
It wasn't bad. And it needed to be written. And you know what? It kind of has a Tom Clancy name! THE SUM OF ALL FEARS - TWO SHOTS IN THE DARK!
Sorry I'm still on that, but I like the connection, not that I expect this to BE like a Tom Clancy story, just that it's politically oriented, see?
Grammatically speaking you've done your job, and it flows, and the Muggle leaders sort of act real--but how could ANYONE predict how they would act? And you did as good a job as anyone, and therefore kudos to you--onward to the next chapter!Author's Response: Tom Clancy? I've never read him, but I've seen his books at bookstores, haha. Quel coincedence! I'm sure this isn't nearly as good, although I suppose things can only be this farfetched because this IS the wizarding world. :P
And yeah, those Muggle leaders are always entertaining. I went off the fact that at least some of them have had [direct or indirect] contact with wizards before, so that made Scrimgeour's job a little easier. But not much. Also, I thought about bringing in the Minister of Magic for, say, Asia, but Scrimgeour is blatantly violating the Statute of Secrecy. I think he probably wants to keep it quiet. =]
Thank you; I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. Subplots will start to form so I hope I keep your interest!
~CSG Report Review
The plot's obviously moving forward, with things happening on all sorts of levels.
Rufus Scrimgeour seems like an oily rat, Kingsley the all knowing leader, and Lucius the lap dog.
The characters are as they should be, if Lucius hadn't been caught at the end of the fifth--or wherever he was caught. I'll keep going, I might not go 10, but I'll go to Chapter Three--I didn't know how busy a review thread would make me...whew. I'll let you know my final opinion after the third chapter (if that makes any sense)Author's Response: It's funny you call Scrimgeour oily, because originally I DID invision him that way. But as the story went on and I made his life tougher and tougher, I started to feel bad for the poor guy. So in later chapters, he loses some of his oiliness - he can't afford to hold onto it anymore. He's a [mostly] good guy at heart, but he just can't do anything right. =]
Kingsley is one of my favorites, so he's going to be one of the heroes in this story, haha. And yes, this is AU, so I can't keep much canon. I'm trying not to go OOC with the big canon characters, though.
Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you like the rest!
~CSG Report Review
You are SUCH a good writer! It's all so thought out and, like I said before, professional! You do an excellent job on explaining things and I really enjoy reading this story.
I thought this chapter was really good. The way the Muggles handled the idea of Voldemort was very believable. Perhaps, though there could have been a bit more evidence to the magical world existing. What you have is very good though, when they were confused about how they all understood each other. That was really cool!
I'm really, really, sorry it took me sooo long to review :( I was really busy these past few days and I apologize. I'll definitely continue this as fast as I can and give you some feedback. I know you said you really just needed some reviews for the last few chapters, but I wanted to read it all (for a better understanding and just because I enjoy it) :D Thanks for requesting and being patient :D
Clair :DAuthor's Response: Hey Clair, sorry for the late response. I've been having computer problems lately and I just got to a private computer today (someone else's, but no matter :P). I'm glad you're enjoying this so far, and it means a lot to me that you want to read the whole thing. I hope you like it! =]
~CSG Report Review
Wow. Hi there. This is such a different chapter than the rest. It gave me chills, honestly. It did! I loved the way you wrote it, the way you described everything, the dialogue. You really write everything out so meaningful that it causes your readers to think.
I really do love your characterization of Bella. You ave her down smack. Great job.Author's Response: Hey Rachel, sorry for the late response. I've been having computer problems lately, and with classes in full swing now I don't have much time. :( I'm glad you like Bella so much. I'm going to write my own interpretation of her character in this story, so it might differ a bit. Thanks for reviewing as always! I appreciate it. Report Review
Wow. This is such a cool and professional story! Haha, it does, as you said, seem like a challenge, btu I hoenstly can say you've accomplished it :D It is actually pretty interesting to read a story such as this and really get a first hand look into what the government of the wizarding world is trying to do. In the Potter books we onyl hear of negativity, of course, towards the Ministry so it's really cool to see it in a way where they actually ARE trying to accomplish something! Haha, nice work!
Thank you so much for requesting. I apologize greatly for the long wait you had to endure to get a review. Normally I'm pretty quick to review, just for some reason this time I wasn't. None the less, I did heavily enjoy reading this and would like it if you re-requested another chapter review. That is if you want to :D
Clair :DAuthor's Response: Hey, thanks for stopping by! Well, this originally started as a political satire and evolved into something bigger. However, the theme is still the same, so unfortunately the Ministry will NOT succeed much better at their endeavors than in the HP books, haha. I'm just taking a different route through HP7, essentially a Hallow-less one. There are a bunch of deviations from canon [obviously], but I'm doing my best to keep everything I can, especially characters. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and will certainly be back.
~CSG Report Review
Ah, sorry this took longer than I expected... stupid work scheduling failure ;]
But oooh chilling. This chapter was so unlike the rest, but I really loved it! This look into the other side and the order and balance that seems to prevail over them really contrasts with the worry and frantic actions of the Minister. I also really liked how you portrayed that through the fear of the Ericksons. It gave off the image that everything's going well for Voldemort even though that may not be true.
I'm curious about Bella's attention to Daisy. I just have the feeling that there must be something more coming out of that. But the whole scene with her trying to get the rabbit, gah, I can't blame Meg for getting upset. Her characterization was spot on and so well written. Props on that! :D
And Voldy! Ahhh! He was so well written too! His commands crisp and devoid of any emotion/expression. Amazing! And.. you give him this presence without saying anything about him. I dunno how that worked... I just read and felt like I was at the table with him staring at me though you hardly mentioned him at all. Fantastic! I can never say it enough.
I was looking forward to seeing Harry's plan, but I can't help but want to know more about the treatment of the Ericksons and how they'll turn out based on Voldy's plans... I'm hoping that's part of the next chapter as well!
As always, fantastic work! I can never get enough of this story! My fingers are itching to get the next one :]
Hope all's well!
-JillAuthor's Response: Hey Jill, thanks for coming by. I wanted to bring out the emotions of the story rather than the cynical side we've been seeing, to transition into the next few chapters. So I'm glad that came across nicely. It's interesting that you bring in the Ministry - the Ericksons are facing the same danger, but they are so much more proud and regal about it. =]
Haha, Voldy is SO hard to write, so I just kind of let him sit there and do his thing. Glad it worked. :P
Bella is extremely fun to write - and the rabbit part just wrote itself, it was so HER. =] I always thought Bella had an affinity for child-like behavior, considering she doesn't have any kids of her own. And maybe it's just Helena Bonham Carter, but Bella exudes this sexual awareness that nobody else [especially not Voldy!] has. So that definitely comes into her characterization at the end, with Erickson.
I interpret Bella different than most people, I think. She's not faithful to Roddy, but she's not attracted to Voldy in particular, either. She's just hopelessly attracted to power, and she's a lot more trusting of people with power than she seems [hence the childish part]. That plays a big part of how I'm going to have her die.
BUT that's a spoiler. And I'm going to stop talking now. =]
Sorry, the Ericksons are not going to play a major role again until the final battle in like, ten chapters - Voldy has gotten what he needs from Matt at the mo. Next few chapters are devoted to the invasion. But whether it goes according to plan...we'll see. :P
~Gabby Report Review
Fantastic chapter! More on the trio! YAY!
I thought this sentence by Ron was confusing. And maybe it's just a British term and I'm too American to understand it. :p
“I don’t think I’m quite cottoning on, mate,”
I didn't know what was going on here, but oh well! Another wonderful chapter.
Be sure to let me know when there's an update! I can't wait! :D
-DrueAuthor's Response: It IS a British term I picked up, but I might have used it awkwardly because I'm not British either. *blush* Ahh, I'm such a wannabe from across the pond. =] But the phrase is the same as "catch on" here.
Okay, I'll be sure to do that. Thanks for the reviews, Drue! Report Review
Another great chapter, dear!
There was a lot of dialogue in this chapter, but it wasn't filler stuff, you know? It was still fantastic, necessary, and kept the reader intrigued.
9/10Author's Response: That's great, because I was afraid this chapter would be too boring. I'm the only one I know who's interested in this office politics sort of thing. Just wait until next chapter, when Lyle Peterson becomes a modern-day wizarding Robespierre. ;P
Haha, thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you like it! Report Review
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