Reading Reviews for Two Shots In the Dark
107 Reviews Found

Review #1, by WitnesstoitAll Playing Model UN

28th May 2012:
And I'm back!

I understand being nervous about this chapter. There is a lot going on -- all the information given to the Muggles, reactions of the various political factions, etc. But you did a phenomenal job with it. I loved the short choppy strings of questions that rise over the hubbub of Muggle chatter.. it felt very press conference-esque.

I really am liking your portrayal of Rufus. Of course he is a flawed character -- this we know from canon, but you're giving his flaws dimension instead of the black and white version of them we see in Harry's POV in the books. I really respect that for all of his flaws, they can all be traced back to him trying to do what is best for his people and the world. I mean, he is trying to preserve the world in from the worst wizard ever -- no small feat.

Typically in a story written like this with such short succinct paragraphs, I'd suggest adding a bit more discription. But I really think the short and snappy style suits this genre and this story really well. As with the last chapter, you're doing a great job!

Still Loving it,

Author's Response: Yes, I'm glad you understand my stress about writing this type of scene. There is some added stress from sympathizing with Scrimgeour, too, I think =]

Thank you for giving old Rufus the benefit of the doubt. I always thought that he was a good person despite his gruffness and I felt sorry for him. His denial and his condescension towards Harry were just ways that his insecurity and desperateness manifested itself - and who could blame him? I would be insecure and desperate too if I was the Minister during those times!

Thank you so much for your reviews!

 Report Review

Review #2, by WitnesstoitAll Woes of the Minister of Magic

28th May 2012:
Hey Gabby!

So I remember reading this first chapter a while back, and upon deciding to start reading this story again I figured I'd reread to remind myself of everything. I'm honestly surprised I hadn't left a review for this! But here I am.

I think there is a huge void on the archive where political stories are concerned -- and this definitely helps to fill it. :) I love seeing things that aren't based solely on romance (which I myself am guilty of writing, but we'll just set that aside). I mean, HP isn't a romance series, and so it's nice to see something outside that genre. I think you did a great job of setting up the state of the government. Rufus' slipping hold on things, the actual power Kingsley holds. the unspoken game between the Ministry and Lucius. It's all very grim and realistic and all in all very believable. You are doing a fabulous job, and I very much look forward to reading more of this.

Loved it!

Author's Response: I totally agree with you. I think JKR created a fascinating world in which there are so many aspects that can be explored in fanfic, and while there are some stories that do just that, and also many amazingly written romances, it's a shame that there aren't more stories delving into other parts of the HP world.

Thank you for reviewing, and I'm glad you liked it!

 Report Review

Review #3, by alanapotter Foiled!

6th January 2010:
Gah! You've got me with just the first two words of this! Haha, I love Dedalus! :P

'“Dissori sam—”he interrupted, but the woman ducked and the spell shot over Bellatrix’s head.
“Petrificus Totalus!” ' - this confused be a bit... there was a lot of space between Bella's head and the spell... was Ded supposed to be interrupting by using the "Petrificus Totalus" spell? I think putting them on the same line would encourage that notion rather than placing the spell on it's own line.

"With another wave of her wand—the pseudo-lightning had since then faded away—Bellatrix sent the remaining Death Eaters’ wands" - the section where you mention that the lightning had faded disrupts the flow of the union of the Death Eaters preparing to get into the Manor... I'd try to slip it in earlier where it would be more timely in it's execution.

But EP! I love this chapter! The way you write multiple characters at one time is really stunning; usually I'm distracted because the bouncing back and forth can be really choppy, but yours flows so well :]

This was such a great chapter - so much action! Not to mention all the will they die? will Bella succeed? is Voldy just going to crush all of them? was epic :]

And this chapter definitely made up for the three month absence :P

Can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: Thank you for the tips. I'll take another look at those parts. I'm glad the multiple characters were written coherently and smoothly - I usually avoid writing conventional battle scenes because it's difficult to keep track of so much action. Bouncing back and forth is more apparent on paper than in cinema, for example. :P

Well, this invasion was so epic that it lasted 4 chapters. They're all up, so you won't have to wait. I'm working on the aftermath right now. Thank you for the long, terrific review!

 Report Review

Review #4, by SpringTime Persuasion and Invasion

8th November 2009:
Definitely not too confusing or boring. I am liking the progression of the action, you have definitely made me eager to read the next chapter.
I just cant tell you enough how much I love the way that you characterize. The Ron/Hermione scene was exactly how I picture them, bickering. You really were so spot on there. And the infiltration is awesome, I cant wait to see how it all plays out in the end.
Where is Harry huh? Under an invisibilty cloak?

Author's Response: Haha. Oh, no. Harry is stuck with Scrimgeour still! The Minister refuses to let him use Ministry resources to attack Malfoy Manor, so he had to sneak his plans out to the Order and hope for the best. Poor dear, it's hard to sit out the fight for once. But he doesn't even know when exactly that it's going to happen.

And wow, I characterized Ron and Hermione well?! Yay! That's a great compliment from you, because I know you're a R/Hr writer. Thanks so much for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #5, by SpringTime The Plight of the Ericksons

8th November 2009:
All right. You can hex me. I am so very sorry that it has taken me this long, I wish I could tell you all of my wonderful excuses, but hey, I am here now right :)
Anyway, your Bellatrix was so spot on it gave me the shivers. I absolutely loved everthing about this chapter. Especially Bella. characterizations were great and you even had me feeling bad for poor Erickson, though it is his own fault that he is in this mess. Great job. Again, so sorry.

Author's Response: Hex you? Never! I always love your amazing, supportive reviews. =]

Bellatrix actually writes herself, if you know what I mean. All I have to do is stick her in a scene and she'll act the way she wants to. =] My interpretation of how Bella fits into the whole HP realm differs a bit from the common interpretation, though, so I'm glad you like her so far. And poor Erickson is just a bit of a dud right now - we'll see if he can step up to the plate later.

Thanks so much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #6, by alanapotter Persuasion and Invasion

5th November 2009:
Eeep! I'm so excited about the update!!!

I love the sense of foreboding in this chapter. It's not into the big action yet, but it worked with the rest of the story. The deep breath before the plunge.

WHERE do you get all of your ideas from?! Russian potions delivery people!? haha it's fantastic!

Everything is so clearly thought out and executed. They have everything planned out, and yet they still meet some difficulties... it's not flawless, and therefore it's perfect! :D

The characters were lovely as well - the Aurors being all 'why can't we get in? come on driver!' and Snape being all 'but I NEED this stuff!' and Voldy being all 'I dunno'. :]

I did feel like there were a couple sentences that really didn't fit in with the rest. It was like you just threw them in there as explanation, but it's was more of you saying, 'yeah this is why' instead of it going on in the story, if that makes sense. Anyways, it was these two:

"he had learned how to drive specifically for missions that required it. Because of this ability, he was now considered a Transportation Specialist for the Auror Department."

"They had spent so much of their lives chasing after and trying to eliminate Death Eaters that impersonating them, even to infiltrate their stronghold, seemed altogether disgusting."

Lovely chapter, hun! I can't wait for the next! :D

Author's Response: Hey Jill. Glad you liked it. =]

You're right about the deep breath before the plunge, of course. Nothing ever goes according to plan, if I as the evil author have anything to say about it. =] Next chapter there will be some surprises, and if you think they met difficulties in this chapter,'ll see. :D

Okay, thanks for pointing out those sentences. Maybe that's not exactly necessary information, haha. Thanks for reviewing! The next chapter will be up super-soon.

 Report Review

Review #7, by Phoenix_Flames Persuasion and Invasion

13th October 2009:
Eep! Another chapter! YAY!

I loved the length! So long and so much to read and enjoy.

This chapter was amazing. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, enjoying every bit of it.

The Death Eater scene with Ron, Kingsley, Remus, and the others was fantastic. It was well written and quite a thriller. I really don't have much CC. I don't. I loved the crocodile bit. ;)

Let me know when there's an update! Great job, dear!


Author's Response: Hey Drue! Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you thought it was exciting. It's going to get a little less sneaky and more battle-y next chapter. =]

These next few "battle chapters" will be longer because there's a lot to cover but I don't want to drag it out to like, 7 chapters. This is #1 of 4. =] Glad you like the length.

Oh, yes, crocodiles. I thought it'd be cute, but at the same time useful because they have no way of talking to each other. This way, if something goes wrong [as it will - heh, I'm an evil authoress] at least they can keep the times in mind.

Thanks for the review!

 Report Review

Review #8, by Phoenix_Flames The Plight of the Ericksons

10th October 2009:
Oh my goodness! It's all so lively and exciting!

The thrill of this chapter was amazing! Oh my gosh, the battle begins next chapter! Eeee, I'm so excited!

Let me know when there's an update! I can't wait!


Author's Response: Haha, thanks for coming by. Yes, the battle starts next chapter. I'm actually going to put it up quite soon, so you don't have too long to wait! I'm glad you thought this was exciting - it's about time the action started. Thanks for the review!


 Report Review

Review #9, by Jackson Robles Dangerous Alliances and Memos

29th September 2009:
ha! That read much easier than the others. I wonder what's going to happen, and good thing I have the 10 word limit, or else I might not have seen that this story would interest me.

I have a foreboding feeling about the poor old guy. Pathetic and tiresome as his character is, I wonder what will happen. Though I do know.

Nice work! Thank you for asking me to read--every since I've done this I've found there are plenty of stories well written on the site! A very welcome fact!

Anyhow, cheers!

Author's Response: Whoops, I swear I responded to this...

But yeah, the boring backstory stuff is pretty much over. Things are starting to happen now. Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you thought it was well written! =]


 Report Review

Review #10, by Jackson Robles Playing Model UN

29th September 2009:
I just noticed something--you're first to chapters remind me of a Tom Clancy story. I was trying to think of some other author I've read.

Or at least heard of--and he fits!
(Which is good thing, because the only other thing I could think of was C-SPAN)

Not that it's bad. But it's official, and to write a story along these lines it has to be. My scruples are gone, and I can read this more easily now.

I laughed at the Japanese leaders and those that agreed with him? Really? A trap? and a name! That's amazing. Gotta come up with it somehow right?

If I were Rufus, I would have gone for other magical government's help! I'm sure he already did though...probably scared them off with his beard...

It wasn't bad. And it needed to be written. And you know what? It kind of has a Tom Clancy name! THE SUM OF ALL FEARS - TWO SHOTS IN THE DARK!

Sorry I'm still on that, but I like the connection, not that I expect this to BE like a Tom Clancy story, just that it's politically oriented, see?

Grammatically speaking you've done your job, and it flows, and the Muggle leaders sort of act real--but how could ANYONE predict how they would act? And you did as good a job as anyone, and therefore kudos to you--onward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Tom Clancy? I've never read him, but I've seen his books at bookstores, haha. Quel coincedence! I'm sure this isn't nearly as good, although I suppose things can only be this farfetched because this IS the wizarding world. :P

And yeah, those Muggle leaders are always entertaining. I went off the fact that at least some of them have had [direct or indirect] contact with wizards before, so that made Scrimgeour's job a little easier. But not much. Also, I thought about bringing in the Minister of Magic for, say, Asia, but Scrimgeour is blatantly violating the Statute of Secrecy. I think he probably wants to keep it quiet. =]

Thank you; I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. Subplots will start to form so I hope I keep your interest!


 Report Review

Review #11, by Jackson Robles Woes of the Minister of Magic

29th September 2009:
The plot's obviously moving forward, with things happening on all sorts of levels.

Rufus Scrimgeour seems like an oily rat, Kingsley the all knowing leader, and Lucius the lap dog.

The characters are as they should be, if Lucius hadn't been caught at the end of the fifth--or wherever he was caught. I'll keep going, I might not go 10, but I'll go to Chapter Three--I didn't know how busy a review thread would make me...whew. I'll let you know my final opinion after the third chapter (if that makes any sense)

Author's Response: It's funny you call Scrimgeour oily, because originally I DID invision him that way. But as the story went on and I made his life tougher and tougher, I started to feel bad for the poor guy. So in later chapters, he loses some of his oiliness - he can't afford to hold onto it anymore. He's a [mostly] good guy at heart, but he just can't do anything right. =]

Kingsley is one of my favorites, so he's going to be one of the heroes in this story, haha. And yes, this is AU, so I can't keep much canon. I'm trying not to go OOC with the big canon characters, though.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you like the rest!


 Report Review

Review #12, by Clair Clementine Playing Model UN

8th September 2009:
You are SUCH a good writer! It's all so thought out and, like I said before, professional! You do an excellent job on explaining things and I really enjoy reading this story.

I thought this chapter was really good. The way the Muggles handled the idea of Voldemort was very believable. Perhaps, though there could have been a bit more evidence to the magical world existing. What you have is very good though, when they were confused about how they all understood each other. That was really cool!

I'm really, really, sorry it took me sooo long to review :( I was really busy these past few days and I apologize. I'll definitely continue this as fast as I can and give you some feedback. I know you said you really just needed some reviews for the last few chapters, but I wanted to read it all (for a better understanding and just because I enjoy it) :D Thanks for requesting and being patient :D

Clair :D

Author's Response: Hey Clair, sorry for the late response. I've been having computer problems lately and I just got to a private computer today (someone else's, but no matter :P). I'm glad you're enjoying this so far, and it means a lot to me that you want to read the whole thing. I hope you like it! =]


 Report Review

Review #13, by rachm34 The Plight of the Ericksons

1st September 2009:
Wow. Hi there. This is such a different chapter than the rest. It gave me chills, honestly. It did! I loved the way you wrote it, the way you described everything, the dialogue. You really write everything out so meaningful that it causes your readers to think.

I really do love your characterization of Bella. You ave her down smack. Great job.

Author's Response: Hey Rachel, sorry for the late response. I've been having computer problems lately, and with classes in full swing now I don't have much time. :( I'm glad you like Bella so much. I'm going to write my own interpretation of her character in this story, so it might differ a bit. Thanks for reviewing as always! I appreciate it.

 Report Review

Review #14, by Clair Clementine Woes of the Minister of Magic

30th August 2009:
Wow. This is such a cool and professional story! Haha, it does, as you said, seem like a challenge, btu I hoenstly can say you've accomplished it :D It is actually pretty interesting to read a story such as this and really get a first hand look into what the government of the wizarding world is trying to do. In the Potter books we onyl hear of negativity, of course, towards the Ministry so it's really cool to see it in a way where they actually ARE trying to accomplish something! Haha, nice work!

Thank you so much for requesting. I apologize greatly for the long wait you had to endure to get a review. Normally I'm pretty quick to review, just for some reason this time I wasn't. None the less, I did heavily enjoy reading this and would like it if you re-requested another chapter review. That is if you want to :D

Clair :D

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for stopping by! Well, this originally started as a political satire and evolved into something bigger. However, the theme is still the same, so unfortunately the Ministry will NOT succeed much better at their endeavors than in the HP books, haha. I'm just taking a different route through HP7, essentially a Hallow-less one. There are a bunch of deviations from canon [obviously], but I'm doing my best to keep everything I can, especially characters. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and will certainly be back.


 Report Review

Review #15, by alanapotter The Plight of the Ericksons

30th August 2009:
Ah, sorry this took longer than I expected... stupid work scheduling failure ;]

But oooh chilling. This chapter was so unlike the rest, but I really loved it! This look into the other side and the order and balance that seems to prevail over them really contrasts with the worry and frantic actions of the Minister. I also really liked how you portrayed that through the fear of the Ericksons. It gave off the image that everything's going well for Voldemort even though that may not be true.

I'm curious about Bella's attention to Daisy. I just have the feeling that there must be something more coming out of that. But the whole scene with her trying to get the rabbit, gah, I can't blame Meg for getting upset. Her characterization was spot on and so well written. Props on that! :D

And Voldy! Ahhh! He was so well written too! His commands crisp and devoid of any emotion/expression. Amazing! And.. you give him this presence without saying anything about him. I dunno how that worked... I just read and felt like I was at the table with him staring at me though you hardly mentioned him at all. Fantastic! I can never say it enough.

I was looking forward to seeing Harry's plan, but I can't help but want to know more about the treatment of the Ericksons and how they'll turn out based on Voldy's plans... I'm hoping that's part of the next chapter as well!

As always, fantastic work! I can never get enough of this story! My fingers are itching to get the next one :]

Hope all's well!

Author's Response: Hey Jill, thanks for coming by. I wanted to bring out the emotions of the story rather than the cynical side we've been seeing, to transition into the next few chapters. So I'm glad that came across nicely. It's interesting that you bring in the Ministry - the Ericksons are facing the same danger, but they are so much more proud and regal about it. =]

Haha, Voldy is SO hard to write, so I just kind of let him sit there and do his thing. Glad it worked. :P

Bella is extremely fun to write - and the rabbit part just wrote itself, it was so HER. =] I always thought Bella had an affinity for child-like behavior, considering she doesn't have any kids of her own. And maybe it's just Helena Bonham Carter, but Bella exudes this sexual awareness that nobody else [especially not Voldy!] has. So that definitely comes into her characterization at the end, with Erickson.

I interpret Bella different than most people, I think. She's not faithful to Roddy, but she's not attracted to Voldy in particular, either. She's just hopelessly attracted to power, and she's a lot more trusting of people with power than she seems [hence the childish part]. That plays a big part of how I'm going to have her die.

BUT that's a spoiler. And I'm going to stop talking now. =]

Sorry, the Ericksons are not going to play a major role again until the final battle in like, ten chapters - Voldy has gotten what he needs from Matt at the mo. Next few chapters are devoted to the invasion. But whether it goes according to plan...we'll see. :P


 Report Review

Review #16, by Phoenix_Flames Rendezvous

21st August 2009:
Fantastic chapter! More on the trio! YAY!

I thought this sentence by Ron was confusing. And maybe it's just a British term and I'm too American to understand it. :p

“I don’t think I’m quite cottoning on, mate,”

I didn't know what was going on here, but oh well! Another wonderful chapter.

Be sure to let me know when there's an update! I can't wait! :D



Author's Response: It IS a British term I picked up, but I might have used it awkwardly because I'm not British either. *blush* Ahh, I'm such a wannabe from across the pond. =] But the phrase is the same as "catch on" here.

Okay, I'll be sure to do that. Thanks for the reviews, Drue!

 Report Review

Review #17, by Phoenix_Flames A Rift in the Making

21st August 2009:
Another great chapter, dear!

There was a lot of dialogue in this chapter, but it wasn't filler stuff, you know? It was still fantastic, necessary, and kept the reader intrigued.

Awesome job.


Author's Response: That's great, because I was afraid this chapter would be too boring. I'm the only one I know who's interested in this office politics sort of thing. Just wait until next chapter, when Lyle Peterson becomes a modern-day wizarding Robespierre. ;P

Haha, thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you like it!

 Report Review

Review #18, by Phoenix_Flames Perilous Plans

11th August 2009:
Brilliant chapter!

Harry's interactions with the minister are so spot on. When I read this story, I really feel like I'm reading more of JK's work. It's that good!

Another awesome job, dear! Harry's so grown up. :D


Author's Response: :O

Biggest compliment ever? Yeah. Whenever someone compares even any little thing of mine to Jo, I get all mushy and flattered. :D Thanks a million!


 Report Review

Review #19, by Phoenix_Flames Delivery and Response

11th August 2009:
Ahh! I can't believe it! I'm this far behind! No way!

I've got a lot of reading to do! I'm not going to give much input on this chapter. 1 Reason: Because I want to read the rest! 2 Reason: Because it's just that good that there isn't too much to say.

So I'm off to chapter 9! You left too much of an open-ended question! xD


Author's Response: Hey Drue! No problem, I actually like people who leave short and to-the-point reviews because otherwise I sometimes have trouble replying, haha.

Glad you're enjoying it and thanks for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #20, by SpringTime Rendezvous

26th July 2009:
Finally, I am here. I am so sorry that it took me so long, My husband and I baught a house that we have been fixing up... it is sucking all of my life away.
I liked this chapter, I wanted to punch Peterson in the head and am really interested in how Kinglsey is going to be able to continue to mask his knowledge (even after the memory spell).
I really loved your small little Ron/Hermione interractions (they are my favorite, can't help but love it) You did that beautifully and completely nailed it on the head from his blushing to her over analytical mind.
Next time I hope to get here sooner. Again so sorry that it took me so long.

Author's Response: Congratulations on your house! That's great; I hope you're having a good time. And once again, I appreciate you following my updates & the lateness is nothing. =]

Haha, that's just the reaction I wanted. About Peterson, I mean. I made him over-the-top ridiculous, but just enough so that it was still plausible they would buy into it. After all, people will believe anything. ;)

That's a huge compliment, coming from a notorious R/Hr shipper! *squee* You know that I think nobody can write the Trio like Jo, but I needed them for this story. Glad I got them alright. Thanks for the review! =]

 Report Review

Review #21, by alanapotter Rendezvous

25th July 2009:
Ooh! I love the beginning: them planning out the attack. I remember Harry writing out the plans, but I never expected something like that! Really wonderful, getting the trio back together and all. And you've got them all spot on! I love how Harry and Ron double-teamed Hermione, very amusing, as well as the other little jokes you tossed in (or worded very carefully, whichever it was ;]). It was a good way to bring back what Harry was up to and elapsing the same amount of time that Kingsley took over in the last chapter.

Ahh! The meeting was brilliant! It's so similar to many of the revolutions we see in history: one upstart with his words of making the world a better place gathering people and trying to gain supporters. Amazing. The way you wrote his words, the formality, the emotions... they were all so dead on for someone of this stance I can't even describe it. Just plain amazing.

In that part though, these sentences stuck out a bit:

"Standing on a table in the front of the room, he looked around the crowded room" -- I feel like using room twice is really repetitive. Maybe 'standing on a table in the front of the crowded room" or replacing room with a synonym would work better.

"Nearly all of them each held tightly onto a steaming cup" -- each and nearly all of them are two different descriptions. when used together they are extremely confusing ;]

And the ending! You are just amazing. I'm always impressed by your work, it's so enjoyable and well thought out. I really can't gush enough :D I just loved the whole scene. Kingsley being all transformed and the way Harry and Scrimgeour reacted... the urgency in Kingsley's voice... the plan. All of it was brilliant. There's nothing else for me to say.

Spectacular chapter! I think this is my favorite so far! :D

I'm going to be closing my thread until I return from my trip to England once I'm done with the reviews currently requested, but I would be very pleased if you would PM me when you've updated. Or else I'll just have to make more of a habit of checking out my favorites page. Either way!

Author's Response: Wow, what a long and yummy review! So glad you liked the Trio - I find them really hard to write so I avoid it most of the time. =] And Harry plotted to trick Scrimgeour into letting him see them to pass on his plans, remember? Plus I felt bad locking Harry up with the Minister when they don't like each other too much.

The meeting was extraordinarily hard to write. I wanted to make Peterson seem over-the-top and yet believable at the same time. Kinda like, the reader knows that he's crazy full of hot air, but everyone in the story is following him and it's realistic & logical that they would. Haha, in any case, glad to hear I pulled off the Robespierre revolutionary vibe. =]

I really liked the end part too, to give poor Scrimgeour some credibility in Harry's eyes. He really is a good guy. He's just...unfortunate.

I'll fix those sentences immediately; thanks for catching that. I FINALLY updated Saviour, so I'll PM you that. And no worries, I rarely check my favorites page either. I'm sure there's a whole list of updates waiting for me there. =]

Favorite chapter yet? Awesome! Thanks for reviewing, Jill!


 Report Review

Review #22, by rachm34 Rendezvous

17th July 2009:
Hey, Hey, Hey, girl!

What's going on? This is another fantabulous chapter. I absolutely loved it. I loved seeing my favorite trio in there. YOu continue to write such a grabbing story, making the reader want to read on to see what is going to happen.

The one thing. Isn't Fire Whiskey two words? I'm not sure. I've always used it as two words but you might want to check on it. I saw you used it as one word one place

THat was fabulous. Lemme know when you update!

Author's Response: Well, isn't someone chipper today. :)

I'm glad you liked the trio. I find them super hard to write so I was afraid I'd ruin them, haha. I'll check up on the firewhiskey, but I'm pretty sure it's one word...unless I'm going crazy...Thanks for reviewing!!

 Report Review

Review #23, by Beyond the Veil Woes of the Minister of Magic

11th July 2009:
Hi, this is Eyriana from the Golden Snitches forum. :)

I can tell how challenging something like this to write would be! But you've done a pretty good job so far. It's more interesting to me than I thought it would be - I'm not a fan of politics, magic or otherwise :P But you've made it interesting and written it in very good detail. And I like your characterization of Malfoy. It already goes a little deeper than the basic evil-and-snooty-to-the-core. Good job with it :)

I'll be on vacation for the next couple of weeks, but hopefully I'll be able to read more during that time and maybe get at least one more review in. Otherwise I'll review more when I get back. :) Nice story!


Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad you find it more interesting than plain old Muggle politics. I promise there will be more twists later. Malfoy I find a very entertaining character. :)

Please do come back if you'd like to. I hope you enjoy the rest! =]


 Report Review

Review #24, by SpringTime A Rift in the Making

26th June 2009:
Hey! So So So very sorry that it took so long. I was out of town and then it was my birthday and then my husband and I bought our first home... so as you can see it has been a busy couple of weeks.
Anyway... Really good update. I am very interested to see what Kingsley is going to do now. You have developed the plot very well. I know that this is more political than action, but a littel action would really help to move the story along. NOt complaining, just a suggestion.
Anyway. Can we punch Pius in the face. cause I really wanna. I am sorry this review isn't great... I am just exhausted and would like to check out your new fic before turning in tonight.

Author's Response: Haha, glad you're still following and enjoying this story. Thanks for reviewing! Pius is not the most likeable person, I know. =[

And I suppose the genre label "action" IS a bit misleading up to this point. :P The reason why is because I have 2 large battles coming up, which span about 5 chapters in total. So rest assured, your action will come soon! :)

 Report Review

Review #25, by alanapotter A Rift in the Making

21st June 2009:
Ooooh. This was a wonderful chapter! It's very different from the others (the loo scene :P), but in a good way! All the secrets and confusion on Kingsley's end was good -- it changed up the style a bit and allowed for a new perspective.

I think the way you integrated the whole thing about whispers in the beginning was fantastic! I was getting the impression that he was hallucinating a bit, then realized he wasn't, which was a pretty cool effect on how I saw the story.

The missing letter is very interesting, heh. ;] I'm curious what Kingsley's going to do about it. And this whole big 'order' meeting! I hope you'll be giving us a nice look into that as well!

Your grammar is always flawless! I'm green with envy :]

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hey, Jill. Glad you liked this so much. Haha, the loo scene. I thought it was about time I gave Kingsley his own chapter. Writing him getting aggravated over the whispers was the best - but I can't believe you'd ever think my Kingsley would hallucinate! :O

Well, seeing as Erickson no longer goes to work...And have no fear, the next chapter has Peterson's meeting. Perhaps someone who isn't invited will sneak in...? :P

Thank you for reviewing! The next chapter is already in the works.


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>