Jacques loves Katharina! Jacques Loves Katharina! And she loves him back. Hehe. Sorry. It's late and I'm over tired, but I just got on and checked my favorites, and this story was at the top again! Wow, that was a fast update! And a really good one too. I love your portrayals of hers and Marie's relationship, but I think I would like to see a bit more of what goes on at her magic lessons. Your dialogue is great, but I'd like to envision the setting a bit more - if you know what I mean. Again, great job! I look forward to reading more! 10/10

Author's Response: I'm now a TA so it update as soon as I put the chapter up. And I finished the chapter quickly!

I will be adding more off her magic lessons, because it's on a HPFF site, I need to have some sort of Harry Potter worldness hehehe.

I will try to describe the setting, but I only know a little bit from the movie Marie Antoinette, where they actually used Versailles, and pictures I've seen. But I will try!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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Okay, I have a few things: One, all French titles should have "le," "la," or "les" in front of them; two, make sure that you are being historically accurate with Marie and the French court; three, you need to develop the relationship between Marie and Katharina more since that seems like it is supposed to be the focus of the story. It's a good chapter, you just have to tweak a few things.

latinpeace

P.S.: If you want to use "Magic apprentice/Apprentice of magic" for the chapter title, "L'apprenti magique" is the correct translation.

Author's Response: I am trying to be historically accurate, and I haven't done anything huge that didn't happen, and I also don't think I got rid of anything significatly important. I may be wrong, but as far as I can tell, I am. I did make up Katharina and Jacques, but it's a fiction, so meh.
I will be developing their relationship a lot more, and we will have a closer look at it. However, the challenge requires romance as well as history, so I'm adding romance. And I will change the French titles!

I was going for learning magic, and that's what it spat out, but I think I will use your suggestion. Thanks!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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More plot development! Yay! I still think that you could improve some of your grammar and that you should translate the French for readers. Also, some of the French you used in this is a bit off. For example, "Je m'excuse de vous" is not "I excuse myself from you" (which I think that you were trying to say). It would be easier and just as formal to say, "Excusez-moi s'il vous plaît." Also, when using French titles like count and countess, if you say "the comte d'Avignon" it looks akward because the noun is in French yet the preposition before it isn't. So, instead of using the above quote, use "le comte d'Avignon" because that makes the entire royal title French, which, in my opinion, makes the use of French in the story much more effective. One more thing: you use a lot of dialogue in your piece, which isn't a bad thing, but you might want to try and add a little more details, thoughts, and actions into the story.

latinpeace

P.S.: The French word for queen is "la reine" and the French word for king is "le roi," just in case you wanted to use them in your story.

Author's Response: Thank you for the last part with the french words for Queen and King.
Also, thank you for the suggestion about using 'le' instead of 'the'. I will go and change it and remember for future chapters.
Again, I know the French is bad. I know no French, except bonjour. I'm going to start making sure with a few people, but before, I really had no one to check it with. What I was tyring to say was 'I am sorry for you' and the translator came out with that.
Also, I know I'm pretty bad with using details. I am trying very hard to add in a lot.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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You've definitely sparked my interest in your piece. I can tell that you have a great plot set up for this story. However, I think that there are a few things to improve. Your French seems proper to me (I know some French) but you might want to put translations for the French phrases you use in case your readers don't have any knowledge of French. Furthermore, you have a few akward sentences and grammar problems. You might want to get a beta to help you with those. Overall, I think your story has potential to be great, you just need to fix a few things first. 6/10

Author's Response: Actually, I was thinking about putting French translations as well, but I'm not sure how good the French is because I used an online translator. And I will get a beta soon.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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I knew it! That is so cute... And i love how you've describe the whole courting/not courting thing. It's perfect and fits so well with the time period. I LOVE this story so much, definitely one of my very favourites. Such detail, and the speech, descriptions and everything fit so well into the time period. It's always possible for an author who writes period fics to forget when their supposed to be writing in, but you havent done that once! You've really impressed me with this, and i can't wait for the next update :D 10/10

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the courting/not courting thing, because it's so that time. I did get the idea from 'The Other Boleyn Girl' which is set like 200 years beforehand or something, but it still fits in that time. As for the detail, I'm working very hard on that because description is the point where I'm worst at. I'm glad you like it and that I've impressed you (wooo!). I'll update as soon as I've finished the next chapter!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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I knew it was Jaques Delacour as in Fleur :P haha

Loved this chapter :) Really lovely! There was so much detail about their new life and a lot of new characters. Actually, it's quite a lot to take in. I did feel there could be more information about some of the new faces, life DuBarry and Mesdames... i'm not quite sure who they were? Not a lot is needed, but just a couple of snippets would be nice :)

I am very much indeed liking Katherina's character... her loyalty to Antonia is sweet, and her pride at being close to her is evident :)

For the french... i think you said "Je m'excuse de vous"... that doesnt really make sense (to me). I'm not quite sure what you were trying to say, but i think it was "Excuse me"? In that case, the appropriate french would be "Excusez-moi". If that's not what you meant, then do ignore me ^.^ I'm doing French for A level, so if you ever have any questions, don't hesitate to PM me!

I really love where this story is going and i cant wait to read on!

Author's Response: I might add more about comtesse (or Madame) duBarry. The Mesdames Tantes are the 'royal aunts'. I'm not entirely sure how right this is, I got it of wikipedia.

If you like Katharina's character now, you may not like her later...I won't give too much away here, though.

As for the French, I used a french translator online, and I said 'I am sorry for you', and I sincerely doubt it's right. And thanks, I think next time I might PM you to make sure or something like that.

I'm glad you like it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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My other review was deleted :(

Anyway, as you know, i adored this chapter/prologue. It didnt give too much away, but there was enough to get me extremely interested & excited! I love such original takes on fanfic such as this, and can't wait to see where you take it!

Author's Response: Yay for another person who reviewed again because the last one was deleted!

I'm glad you think it didn't give too much away, but was still interesting. I try to do that, and I obviously succeeded!
Thanks for reading and reivewing!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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I absolutely love this story so far. I'm interested in history and the fact that this is revolving around the 'muggle' world just makes it all the more interesting. I hope that you stick with this story and see it to the end because I want to read it all the way through (even though i know it's obviously not written all the way through). Nice job!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it! I can promise I'll stick with it to the end, I just don't know how long it will take. It will be many, many chapters, though.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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I like it so far! Look forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Thank you! It may be awhile before chapter 2 is put up, but that will be because I am working very hard on it to make it just right!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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This is so great! Katharina is awesome! And your portrayal of Marie Antoinette is exactly like I would have pictured her - very naive and childlike. Katharina's frustration with her is clearly shown. Jacques intrigues me. I want to know more about their time at Beauxbatons and how exactly they came to be in the French court at Versailles in the first place.

This story is so well written and very believable, which I would have to imagine is extremely hard, considering the time period and then having to tie in the Harry Potter world to it.

Anyway, incase you can't tell, I loved it, and am eagerly awaiting more! (And you mentioned me in your author's note! Thank you for doing that. You didn't have to. :) ) 10/10

Author's Response: I always thought Antoinette would be naive and childlike, and I've read other things where she is portrayed that way. But, at the moment, she is fifteen, so I suppose, what else can you expect her to be? I've made sure I can show Katharina's frustration, so people can understand more what she does later. And I will be putting more in about Jacques and Katharina and Beauxbatons.

I'm so glad you think it's believable! I've been working on this chapter for weeks, so I'm glad you think that. Having to tie it in to Harry Potter is definitely the most fun part, because then I can add things, like Katharina cursing comtesse duBarry hehehe.

I can definitely tell you loved it hehe! Thanks so much, I love your reviews!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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So my other review for this story got deleted, and I just love this story so much, so I decided to come back and read it again and leave you another one. Honestly, I'm so intrigued by all that is going on. I really want to know what she did to Marie and more about her time with her. I love this time period. I can tell that this story is going to be really good. Again, great job. 10/10

Author's Response: Aww, thank you. My reviews for this story is now a total of 1. I'm glad you decided to review again!
I'm writing the first chapter (hehe, that sounds kinds funny) and I will put it up AS SOON as it is finished, I promise!
I'm so glad you like it!

Thanks for reading and thanks for reviewing TWICE!

xoxox

~ginny_malfoy22

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