I know what you mean with stories always being slower than you intend. Don't worry though, it's not like it's going at snail's pace (or, at least, it doesn't seem that way to me...)!
I like this idea for a story. It's fairly original and... is intriguing... I'm really curious to find out how Lily's writing to him and all.
Your dialogue seems a little stiff so maybe you should try just letting it flow from one person to another because that's where it seems to get a little stuck. If you are already writing all flow-y and stuff, just disregard that and pretend I didn't say it because it's not like it's a big problem, I'm just a freak...
Good story so far, keep it up and update soon!?! Report Review
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