Reading Reviews for When The Storm Comes
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ohcrapidroppedmybrain Nightmare

9th August 2009:
Every critizism I had on the other page goes here as well, except the author's note in the middle of your story. I love your plot. Keep up the good work and update me when you have your next chapter ready. I can't wait to read it=]]

Constants.

Author's Response: Thanks again!

Addie


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Review #2, by ohcrapidroppedmybrain Preface

9th August 2009:
Just a few mistakes I found...

Your story is centered, which makes it harder to read. Also, in the middle of the story, your author's note is kinda sticking out =[.

However, I did read it! It was a very dark and angsty fic with plenty of emotion in it, but you often use more than one tense (which is something I've done before, too. trust me, it happens to the best of us=]]). Your sentence structure could also use some work.

Draco was spicy! And evil! I love that! You portrayed Hermione well-- I'm sure she'd act like that if she was in danger.

7/10.

Author's Response: Alright, I'll get onto fixing those soon. Thanks so much!

Addie


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Review #3, by Stephanie Nightmare

8th August 2009:
I'm curious...is it always going to be Hermione's point of view or other main characters (Ron, Ginny, Harry) ? Please continue!

Author's Response: Probably just Hermione, I'm not too fond of changing the POV's.

Addie


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Review #4, by soliloquy Nightmare

1st August 2009:
Ooh, suspense right off at the start. I rather like this and I think you should definitely continue it! I did see some mistakes, like in the beginning of chapter 1: head ache, if you're saying that your head aches, it's two words, not one. But, besides that, I saw little else. The description was rich, and I could see all the images in my head - but it got a bit repetitive. An example of that, is in chapter 1, when you're introducing the story from Hermione's point of view. I like this new perspective on post-Hogwarts, to be honest. It's something that people usually don't touch on.

:D Hope that was helpful!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, that was helpful. I get right onto fixing those mistakes! Thanks again.

Addie


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Review #5, by DJjazzyCarlton Nightmare

29th July 2009:
Great second chapter! And I don't think it was slow at all, really. I like that you gave us a little more information about the events leading up to the preface/first chapter. It's really interesting that Hermione was (or is) having dreams about what's going to happen! I love the foreshadowing!

I really loved this line: "I could never think of what it meant, maybe it was my memory of the seven years I spent trailing after Harry Potter." I think it was a good addition to the first couple paragraphs of the chapter because it sort of makes you realize that it's logical for Hermione to always be expecting the worst because of what she, Harry and Ron have been through. I also really liked your characterizations and character interactions. Hermione and Ron are so sweet together...and I think all of the characters' characterizations were spot on.

Once again, the flow of the chapter and the details and descriptions you included were great! There were a few grammar mistakes but nothing really too noticable.

I hope you'll update this story soon! I think you've done an incredible job so far and I've really enjoyed these first two chapters! Great job! 10/10! :)

Keep it jazzy,
DJjazzyCarlton

Author's Response: Thank you again! Your comments really mean a lot to me. I'll try to read over it and fix my grammar errors. Thanks for pointing out that I had a few, I'm crap with grammar. I'm going to try and write some more, but I have extremely low muse, as usual.

Thanks,
Addie


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Review #6, by DJjazzyCarlton Preface

29th July 2009:
Hey there, Addie! I'm so, so sorry it's taken me such a horribly long time to get your reviews to you! I hope you'll forgive me!

Anyways; wow! This was such an amazing and intriguing preface. You managed to pull me in with just the first couple of sentences and my attention was devoted the entire chapter! You said that you were actually concerned about the opening but I think you've done an excellent job on this!

First off, your composition was gorgeous! You had an intriguing introduction and you managed to create such a diverse atmosphere of emotions for this first chapter. The inisight you gave to Hermione's thoughts and emotions was astounding and just added to the tone you created. Characterization was also great; I thought you portrayed Hermione really well and I loved the part where she glimpses Ron and Harry. Overall, you had a great flow and your descriptions and details were really good! Again, they added to the specific mood you created with just the first few sentences of the preface and really enhanced the setting. I didn't see any grammar mistakes so I think you did fine with that.

This was really, really interesting and I can't wait to read the second chapter! Sorry, again, for the horribly late review! 10/10 :)

Keep it jazzy,
DJjazzyCarlton

Author's Response: Wow, you are too kind! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. I find that some people don't like the way that I write and I'm glad that you did. It really means a lot to me.

Thanks again,
Addie


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Review #7, by hi Nightmare

24th October 2008:
i'm really excited for the next chapter, so get it up soon!

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Review #8, by lalala Nightmare

24th October 2008:
wow, intense. haha, i like it a lot.

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Review #9, by lalala Preface

24th October 2008:
oooh, i like this! off to the next chapter!

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Review #10, by lollipop Nightmare

24th October 2008:
another awesome chapter, can't wait for the next one.

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Review #11, by lollipop Preface

24th October 2008:
beautifully done. i love your writing style.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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