crap. You made me start crying by the third line ...Author's Response: I'm sorry, but I'm flattered! Thank you for letting me know. :) Report Review
yeah, the song fits. holy sh.t. I listened to my immortal on my ipod while reading this. I'm totaly crying. 10/10Author's Response: Aww, I'm sorry I made you cry! But I'm glad you liked it. (: -Jasmine Report Review
Aw! This is so sad, it almost made me cry :`( Very well-written! Great job!Author's Response: Thank you so much. (: I appreciate the comment very much. (: Report Review
Very nice. I think it captured the tragedy of that event perfectly, well as closely as mere words can describe that type of suffering. It is impossible for anyone to merely describe the feeling a person has when they survive the love of their life, but I suspect you know that (though I hope not from experience). Impressive bit of writing here indeed.Author's Response: Thank you so much. (: No, I haven't lost the love of my live, as you say (thankfully), but I do know what you mean. Thanks so much! ⥠-Jasmine Report Review
I never considered James out-living Lily; that's a version that, for some reason, I didn't believe was possible. I'd always thought, I guess, that if Lily died first, James would kill himself because he couldn't handle it. But this? I enjoyed it. It was sad; it was heartbreaking, really. It was moving, in a way Lily's sadness never could be. Because his love is long, steadfast, and pure, and to see him suffering like this is tormenting. It was beautiful. My God, it was stupendous. Bravo to you.Author's Response: Well, I don't necessarily think it could have happened. I'm not positive (and I really shouldn't be saying that, as I wrote a story on that premise), but I agree with you for nearly every story except this one. xD Thank you so much! Oh my, you flatter me. (: Thank you so much for the amazing review. Report Review
Wow. Purely amazing. Your right, the song goes wonderfully with it.Author's Response: Thank you so much! (: Report Review
That was touching and brings tears to my eyes :( I love how it was done almost exclusively in thought; as though he were speaking, well thinking, in soliloquy. I loved the line "He could remember everything about that day, every significant and insignificant little detail was etched into his mind." That's so very romantic. Ahh, My Immortal... I haven't heard that song, though...Who's it by? MCR? ;p -AxjionAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! :D Wow, that's awesome. (: Hmm, I never really noticed that line, but I'm glad you liked it! No, it's by Evanescence. (: Thanks for the review! -Jasmine Report Review
Sad. Heart wrenching. You continue... *sniff* Though well written ;D . I've never read a fic in which one of Harry's parents don't die just because I don't like AU but the summary seemed interesting and I know the song and yeah... The story tells about so many emotions in so little words and that's an accomplishment ^^ . ~ DeaVanityAuthor's Response: Aww, thank you so much for the review. (: And the compliment.:D Report Review
Ah, sad fics always get me. Especially ones about Lily and James. I love both of them and even your summary was making me sad before I got to the actual story! I love how he doesn't know how to pray and I love his form of praying. And I love how his thoughts get more frantic and bunched up in that paragraph. And AH. That last paragraph. God. That's horrible. I mean, it's well-written and really good, but it's HORRIBLE. This was so sad!Author's Response: Aw, thank you! Er, I'm sorry... But thanks. I guess if it was sad, then it was good, right? (: Ahha, yeah. Thanks so much for the review! -Jasmine Report Review
Gaaah. It's been a good 10 days since you requested a review for this story on the forums. I am so sorry! Uni started two weeks ago and I've unfortunately spent more time reading about the stupid economy than spending time on here. And, believe me, I would much rather be spending time here. The economy is stuffed. Full stop. There. I should graduate with Honours. I solved the world. Heh. Anyway. Let's just pretend that what I just said was extremely witty and got a laugh out of everyone and no one is wondering just when I escaped a mental asylum, ok? Or, better still, I could stop babbling on about nothing and actually get to the reason why I'm here: reviewing. I'm sorry. I tend to do this. I just... write whatever first comes to my head. And, yeah. That's sometimes really not the best thing to do. In your request, you expressed concern over whether this was cliche. Well, considering that I recently scrounged up close to 12,000 words on a story where a man says goodbye to his dead lover, I can't really say that it is cliche without sounding like a hypocrite, can I? Lol. But, no. I don't want you to think that I'm just saying this is not cliche because I don't want to sound like a hypocrite... that is only a very small part of the reason. Because, I don't honestly think this is. I have read a LOT of Marauder stories. And I mean a lot. Like, it's actually quite pathetic and I probably need therapy. And, never, never, never have I seen Lily die and James live. Ever. So, in that respect, this is not cliche at all. However, you are probably more concerned about the lover-at-his-lover's-funeral aspect of it. And, no, I don't think it's cliche. Again, I honestly haven't read many stories with that theme, if any, concerning any characters in the fandom. Bottom line: no, I don't think it's cliche. It was sad though! :[ Poor James. Poor Lily. Maybe I'm just a helpless romantic (and I am!) but I was sad while reading this. It didn't move me to tears, but I was sad. Aw. I like how you have him speak to her in italics rather than in speech punctuation. (Speech punctuation? Is that even a phraes?) Something different. And I think it adds another layer to the story. I do, however, think that you could definitely expand this. The death of someone so close to your heart is something that can be described for pages and pages and pages. I'm not saying that you should turn this into a thesis or anything, I just think that it could be expanded. Especially with the proposal by James. It works, but I think it's a little too sudden. I know that his thoughts are racing since he is so full of grief, I just think you could add a lot more of description. His thoughts could be broken up with description. Gah. Please don't take this harshly! I honestly don't think this is a bad piece of writing or anything. I really, really do like it. I just... I don't know. I just think that it's such a cool idea that could be worked on a bit more. *scrunches eyes tight* Please don't hurt me! But, in all honesty, I did quite like this. Don't feel as though it's horrible or anything (again, please don't think I've said anything too harsh!), quite the contrary - you should be proud of it. It's sad. And you made me feel sad. That's something special. Not many writers can really get readers into the mood they want them to be in. -Ju :]Author's Response: Wow! Thank you so much! It's fine, any advice/ideas/anything is very welcome, and I see what you mean. (: (And, uh, for the record, I did laugh at the first paragraph. xD) Yay! It's not cliche! *happydance* I was really worried about that, being as I dislike heavily-cliched stories and, like you, didn't want to seem like a hypocrite. But, ah, anyway. Thank you so much for the lovely review! It really made my day! :D -Jasmine Report Review
OMG. That was the most beautiful thing I ever read. I cried from the first word to the last! 100/100Author's Response: Aw! Thank you so much! Report Review
This is really great, you have a great talent for portraying a lot with so few words. It let's the reader come up with half of the story, and leaves some questions unanswered. Bravo. :)Author's Response: Thanks(: I'm glad you liked it. And thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Oh my goodness! When I saw that you had a story named My Immortal I was like, could it be the song.? I was RIGHT! Haha! I absolutely LOVE that song and I listen to it like everyday!!! Haha, but I really enjoyed this story a lot! I'd been looking to add the song somewhere in any of my stories and while some of the lyrics worked fo them others didn't. But I'm SO happy I found a story that finally did work with the song! You're so right! It really does fit with the song! I loved it! I could feel the emotion and power. It was very sad, but you made it real. One question, how did Lily die? Like was it the same when Voldemort killed her and she and James just weren't married or what? Anyways, great one-shot! I really enjoyed reading it! Clair :DAuthor's Response: Haha, that's so cool! I love the song too, that's why I had to write the story... Thanks! Yeah, that's pretty much what i decided happened, same thing but he didn't marry her. Yet. Aww, thank you SO much for the great review! :D -Jasmine Report Review
Oh my godric, I'm tearing up I swear. I wanted to go make a banner for this, but then I realised I have no idea how to do that...Author's Response: Aw, you're so sweet! Thanks (:. Report Review
omg!! *sob* that was sooo sad! =[ poor James. The only thing that I want to point out, if a 'going-to-be' father felt his son in the love of his lifes stomach, I have a feeling that he would crack, I know that he's already crying and sobbing but there wasnt much of a reaction when he touched her stomach, you could have it really really sad at that part and have him completly loose himself. Just a thought. It was really nice, just one last thing, how did Lily die?Author's Response: Actually, i hadn't really thought about how she died. I know, bad on my part. But I guess some sort of battle or something. Thanks for the review! Report Review
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