hehehe gorgeous! a lovely bit of draco/astoria fluff, you don't fin enough of it Report Review
Hi! Georgia from Aparecium here with your review for the exchange :)
I really, really liked this - it was sweet and cute and fluffy. A nice break from all the angst I seem to be reading :) I really liked the
Characterisation: I really liked both the main characters, and I even liked meddling Daphne :) Draco, though a tiny bit OOC, was fabulous, and you know what? I really didn't care that he was OOC in this, because it wouldn't have made it as cute and easy to read! And that's what I liked about it :) I just adored Astoria, she was so sweet and innocent and I just loved her! Draco was fabulous too, as I said, and his pride was so aptly conveyed! Well done!
Flow: This flowed really well, and all the events really seamlessly melded into each other. My only concern was the pace, but I'll address that in the next point :) But overall, the flow was great!
Plot: the only critique I have is that this moved a little quickly, at the end especially. I think you could have built up a bit more suspense at the end - maybe had Astoria contemplate a little on her decision; she seemed to accept that Draco changed his mind very quickly.
Apart from that, though, this was really good. Well written with a lovely fluffy plot; well done on a great one shot!
9/10Author's Response: Hi Georgia! Sorry it took me a while to answer. I love seeing this whenever I open my unanswered page. :P Anyway, thank you so much for the wonderful review! I'm glad you enjoy it. ^_^ I loved writing them, and Daphne was especially fun. :D And I'm really happy that you like Draco! The only time I had written Draco before this one-shot was a very cliche Dramione, and very OOC Draco, so it's good to know that I did quite well with him here. ^_^
I understand what you mean about the pace at the end. I will have to go back and change that part a bit. =) Thank you again for the review! You totally made my day! Report Review
Ok, this story took me to so many different levels! - Thats a good thing by the way!
And I didnt find Draco off his jkr character, probably because i think that there is so much more of him on the inside and that he can be nice to people, espetially after the war and the effect it had on him. (you can probably tell that Im a Dracofan)
And the charactization you made of him was very beliavable.
Even though its just one chapter, its very clear in beetween the lines and on them, that Draco is stubborn and slightly insecure (It kinda send me that vibe, when he was wondering wether to go to her or not, fearing she might reject him)
The moment i liked best was when he goes to her house and find it empty, and he tries to denie himself his pain but just cant! its still there!!!
It was like a vertigo moment, at least to me...
And Daphne was so easily lovable! It gave the impression that she is a really funny person and its like her presense lightens the story up.
And Astoria struck me as the hoplesly in love one that actually loves her lover and not just the idea of being in love. She is much braver than Draco as well.
Wile he leaves as soon as he sees her things packed, she actually stays and makes it so easy for him to understang that she wants to be with him.
Congrats on writing style, that is very accurate. It was almost too easy to picture everything in my head!
Also, great characterization. Thats hard to get right in just one chapter (at least for me), ánd also very important when dealing with a one shot.
Your characters stood out perfectly though, each with their own defined persoanlity. To me thats really important in a story and it kinda gives everything the spin it needs.Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I'm glad you thought Draco wasn't OOC. You're right, I think Draco has some insecurities about him, like in HBP; that's why he was afraid to ask Astoria to stay, he was worried she'd say no. ^_^ That moment was quite difficult to write, since I wanted to really capture that searing pain in your chest when you're hurt, so I'm glad you liked it! ^_^ And I love writing the Greengrass sisters. A part of them was based on my sister and I, but Daphne is a lot bolder than either of us. =P
Thanks again, Anita! This review made my day! *huggles* Report Review
Sweet idea and thanks for writing.Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! ^_^ Report Review
Hey! I thought I had read this story before, but I guess my review got lost so I'm here to replace it! I love that you wrote about Draco/Astoria, which is such a hard ship to write because, well, Astoria is possibly one of the most minor characters in HP. She's literally mentioned once in the books and not even by name! So every time someone writes this pairing, they literally have to create the character that will match with Draco. I think you did a great job with this because she seems so strong and self-assured, maybe a little stubborn and determined, but I could SO see Draco marrying this kind of woman. He may have enjoyed the fawning, gushy girls like Pansy in school, but I think for his wife he would choose someone who was very sure of herself and strong enough to be a Malfoy. I like that Draco was the first to admit his wrong and go and make up with her. They're a great pair! 10/10Author's Response: Hi! Yes, it did get lost in the crash. I don't really know how much I lost, but this one lost all of its review. =/ Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was quite a challenge to create the Greengrass sisters' characters, because I didn't read a lot of Drastoria before writing this so I had to start from scratch. =D And yeah, I think Draco would be attracted to someone with a strong character, someone like his mother. ^_^ Lol, when I started writing this, I was going to make Astoria come and see him. But they had a different plan, I was just following them. =P Anyway, thank you so much for rereviewing! It means a lot to me. =) Report Review
Omg, where did my review go? *sighs* Oh well, I guess I'll just leave you another review...but only because I liked this fic so much :D
1. Astoria waiting for Draco to come and stop her instead of going to him.2. Draco's attitude.3. The awesome convo between Draco and Daphne.4. The Greengrass sisters. You've portrayed them so well. I especially loved the end when Astoria comes home one last time to bake Draco his favourite cheesecake.5. The recipe notebook. Such a cute gesture.6. The way Draco said "stay". So selfless. I LOVE HIM!
What didn't work:
NOTHING. I loved it all!! :D Great job, Pris *huggles*Author's Response: It got lost in crash. =/ But thank you so much for rereviewing. You're the best, Tahi!! *huggles* Report Review
I. Love. Fluff.
Seriously, I'm practically addicted to it, because fluff is cute, and fun and so sweet! And you wanna know what? I think fluff is even better when you write it. ^___^
This was simply adorable, how Astoria didn't actually want to go, but was trying to get him to say he loved her, but then it all backfired but was put right in the end!
I'm squeeing right now. :)Author's Response: Ali!! Thank you so much! Fluff is fun to write, and I'm glad that you enjoy this one-shot. *huggles* ^_^ Report Review
Awww, Priss!!! That was simply adorable! I rarely read Drastoria, but I know how hard it is to pull off in writing (I nearly killed myself writing my own), but you did it well. The bittersweet angst-ish emotion pervading the piece was there, and definitely necessary, but it had an optimistic feel nonetheless. I really, really loved that. There wasn't so much on Astoria until the end - grocery shopping and cheesecakes! It's so incredibly domestic, which isn't something we'd normally associate with our vague idea of what the younger Greengrass girl is like, but that she can't actually bake is great! It's a very heartwarming image at the end. What made ME happy was that, despite the slightly OOC ily-admitting, was that Draco was still recognizably Draco. I loved his interaction with Daphne the best, actually. He's trying to be callous but it doesn't quite work, you know what I mean? I don't know, but the point is that you haven't twisted anyone too much in either direction (cliché or absolutely ridiculous), since we can completely see the canon versions of their characters in your portrayal, but they are still uniquely your own... I think. I hate when no one understands what I mean!
How's this: adorable and a wonderful take on Drastoria! Awesome job! *squishes*Author's Response: Gubby!! *huggles* Thank you so much! Lol, I do know what you mean, and I'm glad you like the characterization. I find Draco ridiculously hard to write, because he's more complicated than just a big bully, so I'm just happy that he's not way too OOC here. =P And I love that conversation too! I tried many different scenes for Draco's entrance before I came up with that, and Daphne is fun to write. =D
Btw, I read your Drastoria and I think it's wonderful! Thanks again for the lovely review, Gubby! *squishes back* Report Review
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