Just heads up you made a major spelling error, 'It was the night of Halloween, and the Murders would be pranking like they’ve never pranked before', The Murders? You mean the marauders Right? Report Review
WRITE MORE ITS AWSOME! Report Review
Keep writing! Make something exciting happen, especilly with hermione finding out about the time turner or even better, make something happen with lily and james!
Thanks!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I've just been pretty lazy with my writing lately, but I'll get back to it eventually :) Good suggestions though - I'm just going paragraph by paragraph, so I can probably put those in! Report Review
Bummm Bumm Bum! Sirius made a slip!! That isn't good if you ask me.. But wouldn't've Cho figured that out? I mean... Sirius Black was infamous!! Everyone knew who he was! So.. I think you should look at that mistake. It would make more sence to the story. And Hermione is very smart, but you should have more interaction with Harry, James, Lily, Sirius, Remus. Make them a but closer before the secret comes out. I am not judging you. I am just giving you some critisism that anyone would see. I am sorry if I hurt you, but I want to help make you a better writer.
But, in the first chapter, Lily, James, Sirius, and Remus seemed to know there ways round very well. And they are from America. So they need help. Or you could have said that Dumbledore already gave them a tour of the school. And Sirius didn't have much of a reaction of him finding out he was dead. Neither did James and Lily and Remus. And they are all like family. So they should show some emotion.
I really think Harry should be in these more. So everyone could get to know each other more.
I think thins story is getting rushed a bit.
Please don't be insulted. I have no doubt that you worked really hard on this story, but it does have problems.
But, you are a good writer from anyones prospective. Please take my comments into good detail.
-Megan-Author's Response: No, it doesn't hurt at all - it's very helpful! I'm doing a pretty bad job at keeping everything together...I think I have too many characters. I'm glad you like it, and it's great that you took the time to get so in depth with your comment, it really shows you care. I'll be sure to fix some of that (The beginning was all written in August, so it's been a while). Also, some of the problems could be coming from my non-reading-over of the story after I finish writing it. I should probably work on that...
Thanks again, Bells. Report Review
I like it so far. Seems interesting! It's kinda funny in the biggining! I will have to keep reading! Great job so far, and I like the length too!
~_-Megan-_~Author's Response: Thanks so much, I'm glad you like it - your other review was very helpful. Constructive criticism is fabulous :)
-Bells. Report Review
I just wanted to let u know that im not trying to be rude abpout not reviewing, but always review at the end of storys. Its a really good story though(even w/ the spelling errors, but im just the same way when it comes to it so i shouldnt be talking). =)Author's Response: You're not being rude - you're just being amazing for reviewing at all :)
I should probably look at those spelling errors (I haven't reread the beginning yet) but thanks so much for reviewing! Report Review
i cant wait to read what caused the explosionAuthor's Response: I can't wait to figure out what caused the explosion [:
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
ba da da da da I'm lovin' it!
=DAuthor's Response: Awww, thanks! I hope this means I'm back for good, now. [: Report Review
Bill Nye as in The Science Guy? (and yes, The Science Guy requires caps lol)
OH DISS. McGonagall got 'Yo mamma'd"
That spell was pure genious too. It didn't seem all that uninspired =]
Good luck with NaNo!
-BAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for reading & reviewing && Is there a Bill Nye that ISN'T The Science Guy I question.
Yeah, but that was, for me :( And, unfortunately for all of you, I am still in such state of uninspirement. You may just be in store for another characters-take-hold-of-narrator minisodes.
Thanks so much, I am proud to say that I won [With 121 words to spare] but did not finish. Unless you count 'And then she went to sleep and forgot about all her problems, deciding to kill herself instead, the end!' which I don't. I just wanted to be able to say I finished it. And no, don't worry, my character is neither suicidal nor bubbleheaded like that. She's a bit nicer [:
Anyhow, thanks! Report Review
good start too bad it's not a story of changing the past can't wait to write my own story I'm sick and tired reading stories of them leaving everything the sameAuthor's Response: Thanks for reading & reviewing my story, I'm glad to like it [: Report Review
Ah ha! I like the sound of this prank, it seems that there will be much fun next chapter! Lily was so sweet when she was being forced to speak her thoughts aloud, as were Sirius' fanclub- that was a brilliant idea!
I can't wait for the next chapter, I really look forward to reading it, and good luck with the remainder of you NaNoWriMo, your story sounds interesting- will you be posting it anywhere online?
10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading & reviewing, I shall hope that it'll be better than this one. I don't know if I'll be posting it online, but I might, on my website somethingsfishy.co.nr we'll see, I suppose. Thanks again [: Report Review
I really love you're entire story, please keep updating, its amazing!!! DAuthor's Response: Thanks so much, I'll have another chapter up in very December. [: Report Review
good luck, it is was a very funny prank.Author's Response: Thanks so much! And no, that wasn't the *big* prank - it twas merely a foretaste to what is to come. Thanks for reading/reviewing! Report Review
James, I applaud thee! Making everyone say all their thoughts aloud- genius! However, if he spoils Remus and Hermione's relationship, I may have to mutilate hm beyond all recognition!
Good luck with your novel writing! Hope all goes well!
10/10Author's Response: Thank you!!! James is much too busy for trying to spoil Remus and Hermione's relationship...For he now has a chance to TRULY see what Lily Evans thinks of him! Report Review
Aw, too bad so sad =[
Haha James made them everyone able to hear each other's thoughts! I smell chaos!
Have fun with NaNoWriMo! Good luck, it sounds like a crapload lol
PS: Extra huggles for Hewitt because you (and technically him for this story) will be gone for awhile
Love ya Hewy! =PAuthor's Response: Hewitt would like to huggle you back and say that he knows all about it - poor inhabitants of Hogwarts. But wait! He says that there may, just may, be a slight ray of hope for their survival! He would also like to note that Bells says 'thanks a lot! I hope I do it...otherwise their will be punishment from my friends.' He also says how happy he is that you read and reviewed this chapter (Thanks!). Hopefully...the next chapter will be up by December. Wow, that sounds like a long time away...sorry! Report Review
Professor McGonagall will make the big move.
^Honestly, when I first read that I was like "On Dumbledore?!" hahahha
anyway, I'm pumped for the new chapters, keep 'em coming! Although I have come to respect the fillers; every story needs them I guess.
-BAuthor's Response: Hahahh, :]
They'll probably be coming...soon enough. I can't even remember when that part was because I'm too pumped up for seeing OBAMA tomorrow *cheers* Report Review
What is the great prank!!?? You are being hideously unfair, keeping me on tenter-hooks like this! Hmmph!
Anyway... another good chapter, I can't wait to read the dorm sharing, should be very very amusing!
I would review longer, but I'm 'ill', and only on the computer whilst meine mutter is occupied with Monster Little Brother of Dom!
10/10Author's Response: Sorry, but I have NO IDEA. I promise you'll find out as soon as I do.
Awww, poor LynnHelven - hope you get 'better' soon! Report Review
theyre always the same, no matter what time zone, or what yr! =] marauders are funnyAuthor's Response: Hahahh, thanks? Anyhow, thanks for reviewing. Report Review
Oh Hewitt, our correspondence has been so disrupted of late, and for tha I apologize. My computer is mutinying against me, and decided that it does not wish to follow my command anylonger. It has allied with every other electrical appliance in my vicinity in a strike over pay. Anyway...
I really enjoyed that chapter, especially the random brainstormy coolness at the beginning, I wuld love to be able to write random stuff like that, with me it just sounds forced. I am itching to find ot what this mysterious prank is, ad I feel for Remus how he always gets interrupted and ignored for extended periods of time. Reminds me of me...
All in all, a great chapter, can't wait for the next! Well done in updating this one so quickly.
10/10Author's Response: My dear LynnHelven,
As Hewitt's trusted interpreter, I shall assure you that I understand your predicament - for Hewitt is not always feeling his most eloquent, either. I (Hewitt's complaints are now being ignored - you have not been praised enough for bothering to speak to him, yet) would like to report that I have only gotten so far in chapter ten - having reached writer's block in their amazing plot. No worries, however - Lily has decided to keep me captive until I speak (I am supposed to be working on it now)
So thanks for reading and reviewing (I always look forward to yours :) and the next chapter will come out soon, providing Lily doesn't kill me first. Report Review
NEXT CHAPTER!! please? :D
i love your story, it's an amaazing plot. im obsessed ! xAuthor's Response: Thanks so very much! The next chapter should (Hopefully) be up soon. I hate to admit that I haven't actually started it yet *shields self from Puck's wrath* Report Review
"BANG BANG SHOOT 'EM UP"
^ was that a possible reference to Cobra Starship?
(if it's not then it is official that I've gone crazy. I should not be this deprieved from shows lol)
Anyway this story always makes me laugh! I love it!
Okay Hewitt here's how its going to go down:
1) Bring in Roadrunner and Batman
2) Roadrunner is inserted on Batman's utility belt
3) Terror consumes Hogwarts
Or go a different route where a bear breaks into the school with a cobra riding its back and Ron tries to hex it but it instead it gives it wings. Humanity is screwed.
lol I'm just kidding. I'm always terrible at pranks. From where I'm from pranks extended from egging/TPing to timed pencil drops. You could always try google.
Sorry I'm really know help,
-BAuthor's Response: Yes, yes it is. I happened to be listening to that line at the moment, *grins*.
Humanity shall be screwed...eventually (And royally). [: At least as soon as I figure this out. I was thinking maybe pulling in the house elves? Their always so eager to please - even when it means charming all Dumbledore's undies into pink thongs. Not that I'm implying anything... Report Review
i understand the second half of the chapter but the narrator part threw me through a loop.Author's Response: Oops, sorry about that. That part of the story didn't actually happen, it was only a brainstorming exercise that I thought I would put up. Sorry if it messed you up! Report Review
Okay, first off, I love this story so far.
Secondly, even though you've already probably planned everything out, I just had an idea for the story pop into my mind and I have to share it.
See, I bet Hermione wouldn't tell Harry and Ron, just because they shouldn't really know or whatever. And they would find out through the... MAURADER'S MAP! Because it would show all of them as their real names on it.
Just thought I'd share. Mwahaha.Author's Response: That would be an absolutely brilliant idea...if only you had told me this before :)
I'm not so great at mapping out stories - with luck I usually have a vague idea of what I want to happen eventually. Then things just kind of happen, and that gets thrown out in the dust. Sometimes I feel exactly like...well you'll find out when you read chapter nine. Which I am in the middle of posting! (Yay!)
Thanks again for you brilliancy. Perhaps you'd care to share it again after you finish reading the rest? Report Review
well maybe mione should go with remus just to try something different and stop pinning after ron.Author's Response: Well it looks like she is now...unless it's a ploy to make Ron jealous? If it is, it's certainly working. Thanks for reading and reviewing, anyhow! Report Review
I should expect you have not been feeling incredibly lonely of late, for I am sure you have been the recipient of much review-y company on the subject of this last entertaining chapter. I don't know about you, but I was deeply amused by it myself and thought that Ron deserved a dunce hat to go with his epic failure to do anything worthwhile. Remus, on the other hand, may be the cutest thing on two/four legs in existence ever. I cannot wait to read more of him in the next chapter.
Do please tell your mistress that I enjoyed reading this chapter and send her my deepest regards for the next one, and please congratulate her on my behalf about her trusted author status.
Yours, the strange girl that typed a letter to a review box called Hewitt.
(aka Jess/Lynn)Author's Response: Dear Jess and Lynn,
On behalf of Hewitt, I would like to thank you for writing such a full-filling review, because (Contrary to popular belief) his friends have been ignoring him as of late. He would like to note that Hermione is an idiot, and will probably forgive Ron eventually, although it is yet to be decided whether or not he will accept this apology. And I, ignoring Hewitt's continued praise, would like to announce that I am half way finished with the next chapter, and am pretty pleased with it so far.
Sincerely, Bells and Hewitt. Report Review
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