oh wow, this story is gorgeous. but with 7 chapters in 4 years im not feeling very optimistic about things continuing.. will be back nevertheless because Ive never read an AU quite as captivating as thisAuthor's Response: Haha, sporadic would be a good word for my ability to update. I've got some good excuses though. But I'm almost done with the next chapter. After four years I just want to get this done. :) Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like it. Report Review
i absolutely love this story! it's so unique and brilliantly written. please please please continue it after your mission (which i hope goes well) because i cannot wait to find out what happens!! :D Report Review
This is the best Harry potter fanfiction ever! :) Report Review
Love the story!!! Can't wait for the next chapter!! Report Review
AHH, a Snape chapter! You just made my day. :D
The emotion here was really touching, all of the different ways in which Harry's loved ones and allies react to the news that he is alive. You wrote Snape's complexity so well. I was moved by his thoughts about how Harry's survival still wouldn't bring Lily back, how his guilt about not being in that circle where he might have helped the boy plagued him. I could detect the discontent from canon, the sense of never sitting comfortably on one side or the other, the continual need to be emotionless and busy in order to avoid his own thoughts and the pity of others. Brilliantly done!
The scene with the Weasleys... oh my. I nearly cried. I saw it almost as a series of events without a soundtrack, like the whole thing was happening but you couldn't hear a thing. It was traumatic and exhilarating all at once for the characters. I pictured it kind of like the scene in The Dark Knight where Harvey Dent wakes up in the hospital bathed in light and pain and you can see him screaming but can't hear any of it. Anyway, all of that just goes to show that it really engaged all of my senses and powerfully impacted me. I'm very much looking forward to how Remus, Sirius, Ron, Hermione and the others will deal with Harry's return, and of course, how Snape will cope with seeing those haunting green eyes once more.
Fantastic job, as always. I can't wait till you've got a chapter image for this one, as I'm sure it will be a beauty :) Enjoy your trip, and don't worry, I'll be here waiting to read and review no matter how few and far between the updates are.
-Trick or Treat from Slytherin House- Report Review
Hey again :)
Still loving the italics at the beginning, and also the imagery used in describing James's fever. And I loved how he slipped and called Will Ron! That was a pretty interesting twist.
Will is really developing into an interesting character. I liked how you described him feeling guilty for accidentally bumping James's limp body into things. I'm really getting a sense for the depth and importance of his friendship with James, and it's sweet how the two orphans cling to one another but remain typical boys, afraid to show any vulnerability.
BELLATRIX! Oh, my, the plot thickens. I'm anxious to get to the next chapter (when I find time) and see what happens to poor James. I have a feeling it's not going to be good...
Great work, as always :)
academica Report Review
Fantastic chapter! Again, your writing is very realistic and emotional. I loved seeing inside Snape's head. I believe his thoughts were very true to his character.
On a side note, your chapter numbers are a bit out of order. The story says it has six chapters, but it really has 7.
I wish you the best of luck on your mission, and I can't wait until your return! Report Review
Hey again :)
I loved the way you set the scene in this chapter. Your description of the snowy day was incredibly thorough and it pulled me in immediately. I wish more authors worked so hard to utilize imagery like this in their stories, and it reminds me that there's always a higher level for me to aspire to with my own descriptions.
The meeting with Dumbledore was painfully poignant. I so desperately want James to be Harry just so that Remus, Arthur and the ones around them might find some peace. Then I think of how much Sirius is suffering and I want it all the more. You've written the angst and grief so wonderfully.
I also loved the pensiveness of the latter parts of the chapter. It's nice that Remus and Sirius can still interact normally and talk about things like cutting hair, but I have a feeling that those sort of normalcies won't remain in place for long. Dumbledore's worry was also rather touching, and it makes me wonder what may have happened to Voldemort if Harry did indeed survive.
I spotted a couple of grammar issues here -- you misused 'too' once (should have been 'able to') and I saw somewhere where you put 'it's' when it should have been 'its'. However, these are minor, and I don't know how they jumped out at me against the flawless background of the remainder of your writing. The flow and characterization continue to impress, particularly the bitterness you added to Remus, which seems quite realistic to me.
Well done! :)
Amanda Report Review
Again, nice work with the brief diary entry. It's so pitiful how James doesn't believe in fixing things because they'll never be good enough again, not once they've been broken. So sad!
Your imagery is insanely good, and I say that about very few stories because imagery is one of my big things when reading and reviewing. But I think you're up there in the leagues of some of my very favorite authors. It's so impressive how you set up the scene with Arthur without having to say anything for some time. It really created a perfect dramatic effect.
Wow! The stories intertwine at last. You did such an excellent job painting Arthur's exasperation and confusion, and I'll be interested to see what Dumbledore says. I loved James's reaction as well, his wondering about who this Harry person is and why his friends are looking for him. You really tied things up together nicely, and I imagine the story will only grow more intricate and intense from here.
Wonderfully done! Will return for the rest when I can :)
AmandaAuthor's Response: I'm glad the diary entries are working out, because I always write them last when I've realized I've forgotten to do it. I don't always feel very philosophical, so sometimes I think they're just corny. But I'm glad that they're effective.
Thank you so much for your compliments! I really appreciate it! Report Review
Hi! I've come back -- I've been trying to for so long, because this story really interests me, but RL has taken over slightly. Anyway, love the CI! Sirius's expression is so perfect.
The diary entry was fantastic. I love the metaphor of a door for loneliness, anticipation, and the unknown. I also loved the last line about how there's a knob on the other side, too.
The first half of the chapter was pretty interesting as well. I felt so sorry for James, feeling so alone and confused while Will interacted with the younger child. I'm very interested to see what happens to James next.
The second half, though, really blew me away. You characterized Sirius and Remus so perfectly. Your depiction of Sirius's utter despair really moved me, and I loved the touches of Cedric's injury and the death of Peter Pettigrew. In fact, that line was amazing, the one about how Sirius was now free to do nothing but look for Harry, who wasn't coming back. I felt so sorry for both of them; Sirius is a wreck, having just gotten to know his godson and then losing him (which feels like losing James all over again), and Remus trying to hold everything together and failing hopelessly.
Can't wait to read more of this! Amazingly well done. No technical mistakes, great imagery, perfect flow.
AmandaAuthor's Response: I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to your reviews, which have been so wonderful! I've been travelling, and if you'll believe the hotel I'm in doesn't have free internet!
Sirius and Remus are among my two favorite characters to write, because I think I have a handle on them the most. I've got a very soft spot for the Marauders, but I don't like writing them in the past.
Hello! Just wanted to say how much I love this story. Not only is it a great concept, but the writing is excellent, it's tightly plotted, the characterisation is fantastic, and it's really drawn me in. I eagerly await the next update.
Thanks for writing!Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! The next chapter is about half way done. Report Review
Aww, snap! As soon as you mentioned the woman coming forward, I had a sneaking suspicion it was going to be Bellatrix! How the heck did they find him?
This chapter was great. I loved seeing more of 'James' and Will. I'm still very much wanting to know what's going on with Harry. Why is he so sickly? It seems like he's starting to get some of his memories back. I was simultaneously excited and sad when he called Will, 'Ron'.
It was great to see this chapter from Will's pov. I wasn't sure how I felt about him before this chapter, but now I've decided that I really like him a lot. The way he talked about Harry and how their friendship means something kind of warmed me to him. When he could instantly tell that Bellatrix was bad news and had an urge to protect Harry, that totally sealed it for me.
Have I told you lately that I love this story? No? Well, I love this story :PAuthor's Response: Can I tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to reading and reviewing each chapter? It really means a lot to me. So thank you!
I was really scared to write Will, because I've honestly never done an OC before. I didn't really have my bearings on his personality or who he was. But this chapter really helped me in loving Will too. I'm glad that I've done better at writing him.
And thanks! I love that you love my story!. :) I'm quite fond of it too. Report Review
I knew it was Bellatrix! Harry's memory better be coming to him soon! I can't tell you how excited I was to see your post! I hope you continue making regular posts because I love this story. 10/10Author's Response: I'm going to do my best. :) I'm actually leaving for a mission for my church for a year and a half, and I won't have access to the internet. I leave it about a month, so I'm trying to finish as much as I can before I leave. And then I'm going to try to have a family member scribe my handwritten stuff for me. Just so you know, haha. Thanks for being loyal and reviewing everything. It means a lot! Report Review
oh shit. great chapter!! more soon please :)Author's Response: Haha, thank you much! And keep checking back. I'm working on it. ;) Report Review
This is really quite amazing so far! Well done :) 10/10Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! I'm glad you like it. :) Report Review
Hi there! I have come with your requested review :)
This has nothing to do with your story, but I love your banner and chapter image. Props to the artist!
This is a really cool concept for a story, and I love the way you set it up in that first italicized section. You really made sure that the very complex emotions came through by using good, descriptive language. I love the reference to how memories remind you of past victories, remind you that you're still alive to tell the tale. I also liked the references to how much the orphan assumes -- that he once had parents who loved him, that he once knew how it felt to be happy. You definitely set the mood of the story well and made me want to keep reading and find out more about the orphan. [By the way, I review as I read, so when I got down to the bottom of the page, I realized you borrowed that bit. Please pass my compliments on to the original author!]
The rest of the chapter was brilliant as well. Again, VERY original concept, and you've got me intrigued to read more. I'll probably favorite this and get around to reading and reviewing the rest of it when I find time. Your characterization was wonderful, particularly your treatment of Ron and Hermione. I imagine I'll be able to comment more on the progression you mentioned in later chapters, but as of now, rest assured that your characters are appealing and interesting. The flow was also very smooth, and your writing was made ever more beautiful with your expert imagery. Finally, I didn't see any errors in grammar, spelling or punctuation, which is always a plus.
All in all, this was thoroughly enjoyable. Thanks so much for requesting a review, and I hope my feedback is helpful to you :)
academicaAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I appreciate you taking you time do it. I don't know if it's weird to say this, but I feel bad requesting reviews for these first chapters, because they have a lot, but it's really hard for people to review the later chapters without starting at the beginning.
I actually did write that part that you were talking about. Everything in italics, and after the asterisk, is mine. There should have only been a few lines in that opening paragraph that were neutrals, which I used to pay homage when I adopted the story. But anyways, I'm really glad you liked that part.
Thanks being willing to read more. And I'm glad the characterization is working out so far. Your review was so appreciated. Thank you again, so much! Report Review
Hi! I've just found your fic and it's fantastic. I'm not sure quite how to articulate this (never been very good with words lol) but I really love the tone of it all and how you've shown everybody's emotions surrounding what has happened. I especially love how you switch from everyone's point of view. I hope you continue :)Author's Response: No, that makes perfect sense. I'm really glad the feelings I'm putting out there are getting across. I'm glad you found my story. The next chapter is in queue and should be up tomorrow! Report Review
oooh! I really liked this! This kept me entertained from the very beginning:D I was on the edge of my seat part of the time! lol :p Great chapter, I'll read more :DAuthor's Response: Thanks you so much! I appreciate it. Report Review
So, I've read everything and I'm at the edge of my seat. I love the whole idea of everybody thinking Harry's dead, when he's not...and that he's just lost his memory, going by the name James. It makes me very curious as to find out what happened to him. I love the way you wrote his point of view as James and how he seems so confused, a bit frightened...almost like he wants to forget. Another thing that I love is the way you described the grief of his friends. It's wonderful writing...especially the way you wrote about Ron and Hermione. It seems reasonable that Ron would be completely on edge and that Hermione would always be there with him, though she's hurting to. I also think that Sirius's way of handling it is head on. I always pictured him to react like this in a time of grief for some reason. You writing style is very beautiful and very smooth. The most powerful part I believe is in the beginning, describing how Harry would just become kind of a name, a distant hero, and that no one would know his favorite chair or something...etc. It was captivatig and riveting. It catches the reader's attention, and it's full of powerful emotion. I just love how emotive your story really is, and I'm hoping for an update. As of yet, I can't find any flaws with this story. It's very consuming and has a raw emotive text. I enjoyed it alot. :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your kind review! I'm glad that my writing is smooth; I often get worried that I go a bit too far with descriptions and make everything muddled. But I'm glad all of this emotion I'm trying to pack in is reading well. Once again, thank you so much. I really appreciate your detail. Report Review
Hey! I am shaheen from the forums . Here with your review as requested.
I like this idea very much . It showed how much Ron and hermione cared for Harry and loved him. It is also very gripping and well-written .
I think that you should have given more character to Ginny like how she feels when she sees Hermione in a mess . The au plotline is just fine so don't worry. :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. I hope to get Ginny into the fray of this story at some point. Thanks for the tip! Report Review
Wow! I thought you had given up on this incredible story, but I still checked in from time to time, and what do you know? You updated! This really made my day. I hope you start to update regularly, because this is an amazing story! 10/10Author's Response: Yep, I'm horrid at updating. Blame it on college. But now that I've graduated, I'm hoping to get a lot done on this story, and update more frequently. Thanks for checking back. Always do it, because no matter how long it takes me, this story will be finished one day. Report Review
I'm so glad you updated! I really, really like this story. It's brilliant.
Ron and Hermione are my favorite ship, so I kind of like that this chapter focused on them. Their relationship feels very natural and real. I like that you haven't forced them together into a relationship, but that it is moving naturally in that direction. The loss of Harry seems to have really brought them together, which seems extremely realistic to me. A lot of people tend to forget that Ron and Hermione were best friends with each other, too, and not just with Harry. And I love that you gave Ron a couple of good one-liners :) Sounds like he's coming back to himself a bit.
I also wanted to mention Ron's musings on how no one could ever miss Harry as much as he did. That was really touching, and again, felt extremely believable. Ron and Harry were brothers, in the truest sense of the word. Added to that, Ron probably has some underlying guilt because he wasn't always a very good friend to Harry. It just really seemed like the kind of thing that Ron would think, but would never actually say outloud.
I also really enjoyed Arthur's thoughts about the song. (excellent song choice, by the way. It fits perfectly.) You captured his love of Muggles and Muggle things and described it in a way that wasn't silly, as it's so often portrayed.
"Without wizardy and spells, they were forced to find the real magic of the human condition." That's just such a beautiful, Arthur Weasley-esque comment. It also makes me a little less sad to be a Muggle :)
I just noticed a couple of mistakes. In about the fourth paragraph after the diary entry, you use "their was no shortage" which should be 'there'. Then, at the end, when Ron announces that he's scared, you accidentally typed 'sacred'. Other than that, I didn't notice anything out of place. You just write so well, and the story flows amazingly.
I hope you will update again soon!
~SingularityAuthor's Response: Thank you for the spelling help! I've gone to fix it now!
And thank you, most of all, for your lovely review! I'm so glad that I'm doing Ron and Hermione right, because they are the two characters that make me the most nervous when I write them. I wanted their relationship to go slow just because I think that's the way it would be, but it also really helps me to feel out their characters more so I don't do anything stupid.
I love Arthur! I've really grown to love the Weasley family as I've been writing fanfiction, and I'm really glad you liked that line. I was kind of proud of it. Yay for Muggles!
Thanks again for the review, and the next chapter is underway! Report Review
Hello! Its HopelessRomanticx from the forums for your reviews. :)
I have to say, I wasn't sure exactly what to expect when I first clicked on to the link and I definitely could not have imagined the kind of setting you've introduced us too. It was a very strange, but lovely surprise to see something so different. I had also researched the story you had based this on and skimmed the first chapter and I have to say you've done this brilliantly without needing to relay the same events.
I particularly enjoyed the beginning where Hermione was having a really heart-wrenching monologue about Harry and how his memory would eventually end up as - and its very true as well. Take a look at Merlin who must have been the most fantastic wizard known to the wizarding world, yet he has been reduced to law and a name to be sworn upon. I very much like that you've made this so very realistic and it really does make a person open to an AU story.
What was also very believable was the attitude of Hermione and Ron. They were very true to form and it was almost as if I were reading from the series itself. Obviously because the series wasn't in their point of view it seems very different and they are very emotional than we have ever seen of the two characters, but I still stand that this was very good reaction.
Your writing style, in my opinion, is very eye-opening, easy and comfortable to read. You have successfully set the mood so completely that it doesn't take much at all, it is very compelling piece of writing and really does open you to other possibilities. It doesn't take much to be pulled in to your writing and to ponder about afterwards.
I also think the small details, like Neville and Dumbledore's parts, in this was very important and didn't stick out at all either. The fact that Neville thought Harry was a hero was believable because that was what he was - whether he wanted it or not, that and Neville was his friend and Harry had been a person to truly find the personality in Neville and bring that out so well. Neville would think very highly of him whether Harry agreed to it or not. Also how Dumbledore wouldn't look at Ron at dinner that in itself was a brilliant portrayal of his character - what he had most feared had occurred and he couldn't bring himself to see what he already knows: the contempt and anguish Ron holds over his friend being gone.
This has turned out to be a particularly gush-y review, which is something I aim to try and not to do, but honestly I loved reading every word of this. Canon characters written by someone else at its very best.Author's Response: Wow. I'm so glad you liked it so much. I'm always nervous asking for reviews when AU isn't really on their list of things they love. So I'm glad it went over well. I'm also so grateful that you went and saw the original story. It was the fanfic that I fell in love with and I was so proud to have permission to adopt her story when she decided to stop updating.
Characterization is something I really worked hard at, so I'm glad Hermione and Ron came off true to form. My whole goal with this story, and my favorite part about writing it, is to try and stay canon, even though it's not.
Thank you for your gushy review! I don't mind it at all, obviously. I have such a hard time actually finishing each chapter, so knowing that people have really enjoyed my story helps a lot. Once again, thank you so much! Report Review
Another great chapter! You seem to have a way with words and emotions. The way you express their grief- constantly changing, constantly hard to bear- in new words each time, is very well done. Beautifully done.
I love how you're edging Ron and Hermione towards a romantic relationship. You're not rushing them- they're not ready. It's a very natural, slow progression, as it should be just after they've lost their friend permanently.
I was slightly disappointed that Harry didn't appear in this chapter, but he can't be in every chapter. I'm glad that you're exploring the other characters more thoroughly, though. And Arthur mentioned (or rather, thought about) Harry. I can only hope that you update again soon!
The only thing I noticed (and I only noticed it because the two words mean very different things) was that you accidently wrote the word "scared" as "sacred" in the last part of the chapter.
Oooh... I just love this story, especially with the way you're writing it. As I said before, you have a lovely style of writing. I do hope you continue soon!Author's Response: I just realized I had responded to your first review, but not this one. Please forgive me. I just wanted to let you know that I have updated, and it's all about James! Thank you once again for all of your lovely words! Report Review
It's Roots in Water here with your review!
Let me tell you, I didn't notice that this was chapter four. I wish it wasn't. I was so involved in this story- you have such a poetic way of writing, of flowing smoothly from one part of the story to the next. It's brilliant.
And so is this story. I definitely didn't notice at all the fact that you've been writing this for a long time. It all flowed smoothly from one part to the next. The italics at the beginning of each chapter helped to enforce this feeling. The fact that you skip through time (not showing each day, or each week, just the important parts) also helps out in that regard.
I envy the way you can do that so easily. I always have problems writing time skips, or at least showing that there has been a time skip. You do it with such ease.
There were only one or two errors in writing (such as, I believe it was in this chapter, you wrote "correcti" instead of "correct") that can easily be fixed by a quick read through and don't affect the flow of the story at all.
You asked about characters. I think you've written them all wonderfully. Ron- he was always such an emotional character and I can easily believe he'd react that way- lashing out at others for "disrespecting" Harry (he did have a temper). Hermione- the responsible one, the one who is loyal to her friends and will comfort them even when she is scared and lonely too. Sirius- still broken by his experience in Azkaban, coping with the loss of his godson, his only remaining link to James (aside from Remus) and the reason he broke out of Azkaban- his mind was already far from sanity- a very realistic portrayal of him. Remus- sad, self-sacrificing. Arthur- he would be tired, having lost Harry, the light side's main hope and a friend of his son, having the war continue without hope; he would just want to get home to his family; he would be overjoyed at the possibility of Harry being alive. In short, I think you've done very well at keeping the core of their characters the same.
As for Harry (or should I say James), I think you've done a great job of writing him. He's different (who wouldn't be if their memories were erased?) but he still has hints of the old Harry (the love of sweaters- is that due to Mrs. Weasley's presents at Christmas time?). I love that you've included more side-effects to the memory wipe (or perhaps it was more than just a memory wipe- dark arts?) - it makes it more interesting and intriguing to the reader.
All in all, I think that this is a wonderful start to a novel. Please do re-request for the later chapters- I'd love to read them!Author's Response: My goodness, thank you for your kindness, and for your willingness to read all of the chapters. The next chapter was just validated today, if you're interested. ;)
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