I love it! Absolutely love it! The plot, the characterization-everything! *favorites*Author's Response: Thank you so much! ^_^ Report Review
Hi, WeasleyTwins here to review as requested! I would like to apologize for the delay!
I've always been a sucker for Tom/Minerva stories, so this one really has me intrigued! This 'first magical painting' ordeal is quite interesting, to say the least. Minerva's characterization was perfect and I enjoyed reading from her POV. Tom seemed great for the most part, however, I did feel that he wasn't...cold...enough. Maybe when you describe his thoughts, there should be a twinge of the darkness that enshrouds his soul.
The flow was awesome and there was plenty of description to break up the dialogue! Overall, I really enjoyed this, it was a fantastic read!
ShelbyAuthor's Response: Hello! ^_^ Thank you so much! I always get very scared and excited every time someone reviews this story, so it's very great to hear you liked it. ^_^ Ah yes, writing Tom always gives me headache. He's such a complicated character to write, I always feel like I donât do him justice. Iâll definitely look it over again and do as you suggested. ^_^ Thank you again, Shelby! Your review made my day! Report Review
You and your starting with dialogue. You know how to work it, that's for sure.
I think one of the reasons why I like this story so much is the pairing, but also the way you write it. The narration in this is stunning. It's just the right voice, the right tone. I don't quite know how to explain it but I can feel the era in the way you have your characters interact, the way you describe what happens. It's very impressive.
I have to admit that by the end of this chapter I was skipping the narration and reading only the dialogue because I just wanted to see what would happen next. When I saw that Minerva responded with "Yes, Mother, I think there is." I thought she was talking about something bad. Something like she could see the evil in him. So just to make sure I wasn't correct, I went back and read the narration and I got a totally different picture, and I have to be quite honest: I'm not sure I liked it. I mean, that was a little bit on the cliche side. But I'm not worried and you shouldn't either. I can tell from this chapter that you have brilliance in store and you won't succumb to lame cliches that belong in Dramiones. Keep going!
Ganbare! Tanoshinde ^_^
.:.Ilia.:.Author's Response: Lol, I didn't really think about it, but I'm glad it worked! ^_^
Thank you so much! Getting the tone of the era right is my biggest concern, so it's really great to hear that you like it. =D And thanks for pointing that out. I might go back and edit that a little. ^_^ Thanks again for the lovely review, Ilia! Report Review
Let me just begin by saying that I am in love with your chapter titles. I like that they're related. This is an odd pairing, isn't it? But I'm really excited to read it ^_^
Your scene cutting is fabulous. You really know how to draw a reader in and then keep us salivating for more. Like at the opening scene, I love that you started out with dialogue. Classic way to get the reader's attention. It's always worked on me, anyway. And then you ended with a question, which is also magnificent. It's a good question, too. And we're all dying to know. I want to know why he's there just as much as Minerva does, maybe more so.
I love that you had this told from both of their perspectives, but you didn't repeat scenes. That was really well done and it really impressed me. That's something that not all authors can do, especially not well. But the way you just smoothly transitioned into Tom's perspective was absolutely amazing.
You've got something great here. Be proud. Ganbare! Tanoshinde ^_^
.:.Ilia.:.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I agonized a lot over this chapter, so I'm really thrilled that you enjoy it. And thanks for commenting on the chapter titles! This is the first time I use related chapter-titles. ^_^ And thanks! Since this is the first chapter, I wanted to show both their perspectives, but I didn't want to repeat anything because it might get boring. =P Oh, the questions will be answered (mostly) in the third chapter. ;)
I'm sorry about taking so long to respond to this; I just can't seem to find the right words to say! =D Thanks again, Ilia! Arigato! ^_^ Report Review
As amazing as ever. Your characters are so alive and so fantastic. The way Tom makes Minerva shiver, the way she somehow sees beyond that facade, but is somewhat charmed at the same time...that's just brilliant. Minerva's mother cracked me up, both at the beginning and end of the chapter. That's just how mothers are.
Your descriptions are wonderful and I saw nothing wrong going on with the dialogue. On the contrary, it seemed to fit the scene with the characters very well. Simply, I'm enjoying this story very much. You're handling the entire challenge so well and this story's just so endearing. I'm completely into it. Update soon and don't worry, you're doing great! :DAuthor's Response: Lol, I love writing Edythe. She brings the fun into the story. ^_^ I'm glad that you like the dialogue! I'm not really sure how they speak in that era, so I tried to make it formal, but more modern than, say, Jane Austen's characters. =) Anyway, thanks again for the wonderful review, Liz! *squishes* Report Review
Wow, lately I'm just robbed of words too much. This is stunning. The language you used fits the Era, and both characters very well. they have this grace and magic in their manner that I couldn't help but feel enchanted. Your description was amazing, every little part of it, actually. And then the characters...how much I just enjoyed reading about those characters. They both had a vibe and were so spot-on it was mind-blowing. Especially Minerva. I mean, you wrote Tom fantastically as well, but I just loved your Minerva, especially when she was viewed from Tom's perspective. Also, the idea of the first magical painting...that's so incredibly creative. And it figures why Tom would want it. And I'd like to say many more things, but I guess I just don't know how, Priss. This is excellent.Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much, Liz! I'm rather speechless too; I'm just really happy that you like it. ^_^ I'm thrilled that you love Minerva. I'm beginning to love writing her. =) Thanks again, Liz! Your review really made my day. *huggles* Report Review
Another brilliant chapter. Your writing style is excellent!
I really felt for Minerva as her mother butted into the conversation!!
I spotted no spelling or grammatical mistakes! Well done!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you enjoy it. ^_^ Report Review
Hi there! Here from the forums to review as requested!
I must admit, when I saw you wanted me to review a Tom/Minerva fic, I was sceptical. The idea didn't appeal to me at all.
However, your writing style, and reason for the two to be in the same fic has drawn me in!
Your spelling is good, but you need to look at your formatting. Dialogue by a different character needs to be a new paragraph.
There is one block in particular which begins.'Hers lips twitched'. You need to break this up a little because it is difficult to read.
Other than that, well done on keeping me interested in a first chapter that did not appeal to me at first in the slightest!!!Author's Response: Hi! Lol, I realized Tom/Minerva fics don't appeal to some, so thank you for checking it out! And thanks for pointing that out. I'll definitely be more careful about it next time. ^_^ Report Review
Poor Mrs. McGonagall ... little does she know that the "something about him" is a red flag for DANGER! DANGER! I have to agree with Minerva, I canNOT picture Tom Riddle eating ice cream. I'm trying to imagine Ralph Fiennes in his Voldemort costume, holding a vanilla cone with rainbow sprinkles, but I just can't see it :D So they ran into each other again, it seems like fate! And of course Mrs. McG had to invite Tom to the Malfoys' party, and now he's going to have even more of an opportunity to persuade Minerva to dance or have dinner with him... I guess he's attracted to strong women that don't show any interest in him. My only criticism would be that the dialogue almost seemed stilted at times, I think because of the lack of contractions: such as "Why did you not" instead of "Why didn't you," or "If it were not for you, I would not even" instead of "If it weren't for you..." etc. etc.
I really like this story so far, it's one of the best Tom/Minerva stories I've read and I can't wait to see what happens at the party. :) Please let me know when you've updated? *huggles* 10/10Author's Response: Lol, while I was writing Edythe's first meeting with Tom, I kept seeing her in my head after she found out he was Voldemort, talking indignantly about Tom deceiving her. That sparked the idea for the ending, which was a great thing, because before that I had no idea how I would end the chapter. =P
Lol, I can't see it either. =D But Fortescue's ice cream shop was the first shop that popped into my head when I think of Diagon Alley. It'd be a bit predictable to have them meet in Flourish and Blotts, and this idea was fun to play around with, albeit a bit crazy. =P Anyway, I'm glad that worked out!
The dance is going to be exciting, at least for me to write anyway. =P And yes, I think for guys like Tom who probably has girls flirting with him all the time, Minerva would stand out. It's kinda like Lily and James, except Tom doesn't believe in love so this relationship, any relationship with Tom in it, is tricky to pull off. =P
Thank you for pointing that out! I don't know much about how people talk in that era, apart from the fact that I saw Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (sweet movie, by the way). =P So thank you for commenting on that! And I'll definitely let you know when I update! *huggles back*
Hey dear! :) I read the summary of this story and was immediately pulled in. Tom/Minerva has always been a pairing that intrigues me (because it's totally possible) and I love your writing, so it seemed like a great combination! I like this beginning a lot. I think McGonagall is in perfect character here - she's not yet the stern, austere professor we know and love, but she's got hints of that in her character. She's no-nonsense, firm, direct, and unflinching, and I love that Tom believes she is one of the few wizards who would be worthy of crossing wands with him - because she totally is and will be. I wonder what he could want with that painting and I actually wonder whether he's even there on Borgin and Burkes business, or simply to attain the painting for himself, or maybe even to hit on Minerva. That dinner invitation - awkward! And sudden! I don't blame her for rejecting him. Word on the street is, Voldie doesn't like refusal so I'm sure he'll be back again. Great start!Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much! I was so excited when I saw your name on the top of my unanswered page, and I'm thrilled that you like this. ^_^ I didn't think Minerva would be quite that professor we know in the books, since she's still young at this point, but there should be traces of that in her. And good questions! All will be answered soon. ;) Lol, I didn't plan on the dinner invitation to be so sudden, but it didn't fit anywhere else, so I settled with awkward. =D Thanks again for the review, hun! Report Review
this has certainly caught my interest. i've never read a MM/TR story before.
you've written it wonderfully so far though!
:DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! This ship is also new to me. ^_^ Hopefully you'll enjoy the rest of the story as well! Report Review
Gosh, poor Minerva! Mothers are annoyingly nice like that, haha! Indeed there is "something about Tom", if only they knew! Anyways, this was a wonderful chapter. :D
The characterizations are spot on, not only in terms of canon, but also in how realistically human they are. The relationship between Minerva and her mother is hilarious, but so realistic, it was funny. Tom managed to be less creepy in this chapter, but I still distrusted him. What is he trying to do? Why is he so interested in that painting - for it's representation of his ancestor, or something else?
This was a wonderful chapter! ^_^ I'll be holding on for more!Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. ^_^ Lol, I love writing Edythe. She brings a lighter side to the story, and her relationship with Minerva is fun to write. And your questions will be answered (mostly) in the next chapter. =p Thanks again, Violet! Report Review
Ohmigod, PRISS! *faints* This was the SEXIEST thing EVER. Okay, so maybe sexy isn't the right word, but... *faints*
Well, leave it to Gubby to sound really, really airheaded. But seriously, I'm not sure how to describe the feeling this story has. Its atmosphere is full of tension, full of unspoken secrets and grievances, and the sheer irresistability of Tomerva just makes it almost the PERFECT dark romance. PERFECT. The only problem is that, you know, Tom's a raging lunatic. But the thing is he hides it really well! Which is why I loved the ending of this chapter, because Edythe McGonagall completely captured what he's all about: the charm, the looks, and that funny feeling of grudging awe and lingering mistrust... *sigh* And definitely, he was really charming.
But you, Priss! OMG, this is completely amazing, AND creative, even beyond ordinary Tomerva stories! I mean, it's not like that's a common ship at all, but the ones that do exist involve a midnight tryst at Hogwarts, you know? This is totally unique and different, and though I did give you some points to work on, you've made something totally brilliant. I mean, Tom Riddle in Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor? Genius. Pure genius. Who, in their right mind, would ever think of giving Tom a half-date in an ice cream shop? But the thing is for you, is that what no one else would have thought to do, you did. And spectacularly! And I feel like SUCH a fangirl but hey, why fight fate?
Have I mentioned Minerva in all that? No? Well, she's amazing. The perfect match for Tom, I swear to Merlin. She's so meant for him it's not even funny. The Malfoy's ball seems really ominous! I'm terrified for Minerva, actually - see, another thing that makes this a near perfect dark romance, is that as much as we (read: GUBBY!) want the doomed lovers to actually get together, we DON'T, for the sake of the innocent girl. I'm TERRIFIED of what will happen here, if their relationship does actually take off. Which is really hard to accomplish, because generally we don't care for the characters' well-being, but we do here!
So. Ahem. Freaking spectacular. I could elaborate, but I think I've inflated your ego enough, yes? :PAuthor's Response: Lol, yes you have, Gubby. Thank you so, so much for this amazing review! You have no idea how happy this made me when I first read it. *squishes* I've been putting away answering this because I don't know what to say other thank you with a little squeeing, but here goes:
Edythe is a lot of fun to write. It's funny to think someone like Minerva could have someone like her as a mother. And I think she is more perceptive than she seems, the way mothers are. =D
Lol, I always thought dates in an ice cream shop would be sweet, and it has a playful feel to it, all of which don't fit Tom at all. So if he walked willingly into an ice cream parlor, he must have had something other than ice cream in mind. ^_^ I'm so glad you like it! I almost threw the idea away because I didn't think it'd work out. =P
I still haven't started on the third chapter. *ducks flying objects* But I think it's going to be interesting to write. I might have to stray from one of the points you gave me to be able to start their relationship though, but I don't think you'd mind, right? ^_^ And hopefully we'll know more of the painting too! ;)
Thank you again, Gubby!! I never thought I'd ever write a dark romance, so thanks for challenging me to it, and then leaving such encouraging reviews! *huggleglomps* Report Review
Before I get too carried away with myself I have to say, fantastic story!
You've characterised Tom and Minerva so well-her analysis of everything and his underlying evil. The tension is electric and Minerva's eyebrow raising just says it all Lol
This story could so easily be canon, your writing is brilliant and I love that you've set it when Tom was working at Borgin and Burkes, it makes their meeting so original.
You've really got me hooked because I need to know what's so special about this painting!
Romance with some mystery thrown in it's perfect, 10/10 =]Author's Response: I got you hooked? Yay! =D Writing Tom and Minerva drive me nuts, as obviously Tom is one of the most complex characters in HP and I had a hard time picturing Minerva as a young girl. =P So thank you so much for commenting on the characterization! Thanks for the review! :) Report Review
Review, round 2. :P This story is still fantastic and everything you have here with the characters and the great tension between them - I'm really excited to see how everything will start to unfold in the next few chapters.
I really love how you placed the story within the canon timeline, with Tom working for Borgin and Burkes, seeking out items of interest. After knowing how he does this in HBP, I'm wondering to what lengths he'll go here.
Your writing is amazing - the language and the way you put words together makes this wonderful to read. So much is conveyed in the little actions you describe each character performing during their conversations. It really intensifies the tension between them and grabs the reader's interest right away. ^_^Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for reviewing again! ^_^ I'm really, really, thrilled that you enjoyed it! And it's Gubby's idea, actually, to place the story during that time. It was definitely interesting (and scary) for me to write Tom, and I think it'd be more so when we get closer to the portrait. =P
Thank you so much again! Your review really made my week! ^_^ Report Review
Um, woah. Priss? This is simply...stunning. I have no better word to describe it, even though I generally use that word to describe art and the like, but, I suppose this would be considered art. And good art at that.
Tom was fascinatingly creepy, and Minerva was just perfect. The characterization was perfect. :]
The thing is, i really want more. Really want more.
I really want to find out if he got the painting. Or is there some crypting second meaning in there? A double entendre - er, without the gross meaning?
WIll I ever find out? -sigh-
Well, I still thought this was wonderful. :]
AliAuthor's Response: Ali! *huggles* I'm so, so thrilled that you love this. It's definitely the most challenging fic I've ever done, so it's always exciting to hear that someone like it. So thank you so much!! And there is more! In fact, the second chapter is already up, if you want to read it. ^_^ All I'll say about the painting is that it ties in with one of the points Gubby gave me to work on. ;) Anyway, thanks again for the review, Ali! Report Review
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