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3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by xXmalfoysgirl4everXx Maybe It's a Sign

23rd December 2008:
i like it, the fight was very realistic. can't wait for next chapter :] 9/10 for some grammar issues

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Review #2, by Cedrics Blueyed Girl Maybe It's a Sign

19th November 2008:
Hey, it's jetergirl from the forums... =]

So, let's get down to it, shall we? I usually start out with any criticisms I have and then end with the stuff I enjoyed about the story, because it seems more cheerful that way.

So, criticisms: here and there, you had a few grammar mistakes or typos, not a big deal but something you should edit nonetheless.

Compliments: I really like how you've captured the personal aspect of the relationships, not only between Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione, but just the overall interactions between all of your characters, if you know what I mean.

I know you wanted me to pay particular attention to the characterization so let me comment on that quickly. I definitely know how hard it is to write first chapters; as an author myself, I usually spend the longest time perfecting that first one. You did a great job other than the fact that I felt as though the portrayal of the characters was a little but shallow. It certainly wasn't too bad at all; I just felt that we could have gotten a bit deeper with the characters as an exposition to the rest of the story.

Overall, good job so far!

~CBG

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Review #3, by DJjazzyCarlton Maybe It's a Sign

10th October 2008:
Gah! Ron! I just want to kick him right now! But that's definitely something he would say/do sadly enough. Characterization was great on this. You did a wonderful job with all of the characters, especially Ron and Hermione. The believability of this fic was great too. I liked that you went in a more unique direction with this story and instead of making everything all lovey-dovey-perfect between them, you gave them problems that they would actually face as a couple. It was very realistic.

The flow was also great; your overall constuction of the story was really nice. You did a good job of portraying the emotions the characters were feeling, especially the frustration Hermione had with Ron. I'm still feeling that. I love it when stories can make you view characters in a different light and you really made me see Hermione differently. Sometimes I get a bit fed up with how uptight and over the top her character is (don't get me wrong, she's one of my favorite characters) but I loved that you gave a lot of justification for that. You showed her character's insecurites and wishes.

Awesome job on this! : )

Keep it jazzy,
DJjazzyCarlton

Author's Response: I was really unsure about this story, but your review has made me feel a lot better about it. Hermione was especially hard to write in this story but I wanted to write a story about their problems, because sadly "happily ever after" isn't as easy as it sounds!

Thank you for your great reviews!


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