Hi, this is maraudersmap from the forum. :)
This was undoubtedly a very touching one-shot. I found myself close to crying, especially at the ending, when Draco finally showed a sign of weakness. You portrayed his grief very well, I think. He was bitter and cold enough to be Draco, but broken enough to be in love.
I'm not too sure what I thought about the fourth year-Draco, though. He seemed too open, too emotional. Somehow I felt that Draco still didn't like muggleborns (which he couldn't have, as he later joined the death eaters) but he wasn't bothered by loving one. Perhaps I just missed something?
There was another thing that bothered me as well: Draco seemed to love her for her looks rather than her personality. I know that this probably wasn't the case; it just seemed like it sometimes.
When it comes to Harry and Ron's characterizing, I'm a little unsure. I don't like the idea of Ron drinking, or Harry telling Draco that they have to move on, but that being said, I can see it happening. There was still some obvious distance between Draco and Ron and Harry, and I don't know how I feel about that. He had married their best friend, so I'd have thought Hermione would do everything in her power to make them get along.
I spotted a few minor typos: Some places it was 'is' instead of 'was', for instance. It was barely noticeable, though. You really do have your way with words: Your descriptions were breathtaking, beautiful and not in any way boring or confusing. The dialogue was very realistic as well, and I was impressed when I read of the proposal, because it didn't seem melodramatic at all. It's very well done to write something so romantic so real.
At first I was slightly confused about the whole pensieve-thing, as it was from the past Draco's pov, but I quickly got into it, and found that I enjoyed it very much. I sort of feel that there's something missing, though: How did Hermione die? How did Draco finally win her over?
I hope I haven't been too critical, because the truth is that I liked it a lot. My favourite parts must have been the voices in Draco's head when he saw the pensive and Rosaline hugging her dead mother.
Great job! :D (Oh, and I loved that you described Hermione's ankles as feminine, as Aunt Muriel describes them as skinny in DH...:P) Report Review
Hello this is Hermione G from the forums with your requested review ^^
Aww, omg! This was so sad. Anyways, a job well done! This was written beautifuly, amazing amazing amazing. The flashbacks were well done, but sometimes it was a bit confusing. The flow of it was nice and nothing grammar wise really stuck out to me. The only thing that I can think of right now that you could improve on would have to be perhaps a bit more detail? Idk. I really really enjoyed reading this Report Review
Aw very good. VERY good. I usually hate Dramiones, but you really made it work in my favor, although I doubt that was your goal lol. Love the last line very sweet. You stuck to canon as much as you good, and it paid off, though its not completely canon (Dramiones can NEVER be canon), its pretty close. So Kudos to you on that! This is a very sweet one-shot and I loved the backflashes and everything. Beautiful. Great job! :] 10/10.
~EstrellaAuthor's Response: Hey, Estrella! I'm so so SO sorry for this late and pathetic and incredibly short response. I had no idea what to say to you--I believe it's called a authors-resonse-block XP
Well, thanks for your compliments and kind words. I'm glad that I changed your view on Dramiones. Maybe someday, you'll start reading them and liking them :D
Thanks again for everything! *hands over chocolate* Report Review
Once upon a time, before the HPFF server crashed, I left this story a review. But that was quite a while ago, and that review had long disappeared. So, I'm here to make it all better but reviewing again!
I still love this story and I can re-read it a billion times over without getting bored at all. The descriptions and the emotion in this story has hit me really hard. I hope you continue to write like this in the future. Daisy, you have come a long way to write this. You've made me adore you, hunny! Well done! Report Review
yes, tis me again. and i will made another account eventually but for now let me review this story again :) daisy, this was a really tragic love story and my favourite part would have to be when rosaline touches the glass with her hand and saying goodbye to her mother. that part was so intense and well written that i could literally drown in it. well done, once again, and i hope you're well! 10/10 XD Report Review
=O I still cried even though I knew what was coming, how pathetic. :( I luff this story so much and I hope you do come up with another story as fantastically tragic and well written as this one. You deserve all the ratings in the world for this one!!Author's Response: And you deserve all the hugs in the world for this review! Thanks so much for reviewing all my stories again. But you don't have to--I don't want you to feel like it's your job or something. :) And wipe those tears, Brya, don't cry. *hugs*
Thanks for reading and review (again)! Report Review
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