I am in awe right now. This was so beautiful and breathtaking and just like I was watching this terrible but gorgeous movie where my heart was being ripped out but at the same time I had to keep going.
The idea of Remus seeing that one soft glimpse of Narcissa, and it all starting on that. Then a spiral of secrets and forbidden love, and was it ever love or was it so special *because* it was forbidden? And gah.
There are so many times where I think they could have worked. She could have let him show her something more, he could have fought harder for her.. but I LOVED what he said about not saving her. About not saving her, telling her to stop being pathetic and saving *herself*.. I want to box up you and keep you so you can tell me stories all the time. And ermm that was creepy. Sorry about that :P
I couldn't imagine something ever fitting more into these two challenges. Fairy tale and beauty and the beast... we slowly watched as Narcissa turned from this lover who really seemed like she'd be different, to the beast. The one with the real fangs, the ice.. and Remus was the only chance at salvation he had. She chose her life, she had a different path and she was too weak to take it. You gave something that most authors completely ignore.. the fact that Narcissa always had a choice. She chose Lucius. She chose the dark lord.. and then she realized how deep she was in. Yes, what she went through was sad, heart breaking, knowing her son could have died at any moment, but she didn't get there against her will. One time, long ago, she had a choice.
And gah. I just love your amazingness right now. Report Review
Hello there! Tag from review swap!
This was such a beautiful story, so sad and full of tragedy that it made my eyes tear up towards the end. You painted a lovely portrait of two lovers that had little to no idea of what they were doing and what they wanted.
Narcissa was described amazingly. You captured her double nature perfectly. The proud pure blood with her high standards, her deep rooted beliefs that deep down has a heart of gold.
Remus was the exact opposite of this, humble and loyal, always wanting to do right by her and by everybody else.
My favorite line was
he accepted her even for all she wasnít. Her atrocious flaws were cast away into the wind and he calmly reassured himself everything was worth it. And maybe it really was.
Lovely story, I enjoyed it very much! Report Review
First of all, I would like to say that you have a beautiful style of writing. I love your use of imagery and how everything flows so seamlessly-it makes for a very nice read!
I think your first sentence, 'Sometimes, even the best of us fall from innocence' is absolutely perfect-it really draws the readers attention, makes you wonder what is going to happen next.
I though the pairing of Remus/Narcissa was very unusual-and I liked it. I've read some Lucius/Narcissa and Sirius/Narcissa but I particularly liked the way you wrote this ship.
Overall, I think you have created a creative and very mature (in the best possible way) story.
Courtney:)Author's Response: Thank you. I always loved fairy tales as a child, especially if they had a darker tone but maintained the magic. It was a wonderful, and also a challenging experience writing this in such a tone.
I'm really glad that you liked it, thank you so much for this lovely review. :) Report Review
Oh wow... This was so very beautifully written. I can see that you have chosen each sentence with care, and it really pays off. =) I'm a big fan of your decision to write it in epic fairytale fashion, it had a really lovely dreamlike quality throughout the one-shot. The writing was top notch. I'm actually bit jealous of some of your most beautifully crafted sentences. =P
I must admit that I haven't encountered Remus/Narcissa ship in fanfiction before, but I enjoyed it immensely. They had an interesting relationship and the fact how different they were put a lovely frisson to it. You brought out their personalities very naturally and without any exaggerations which is very hard to do.
I'm quite thrilled about this one-shot and it will find its place in my favorites. Now that I have realized how talented writer you are (I'm pretty slow, I'm guessing everyone else knew it already...), I'll put some of your other fics to my TBR list.
It was a quality read and I was hooked from the first sentences. Excellent work. Two thumbs up! =)Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much. The fairytale fashion was added because of the challenge, and I'm so happy the challenge was issued back then because it really worked out nicely. Although the story did give me the crazies during the writing process.
Remus/Narcissa is a strange ship that came to my mind I don't even remember how, but oh my they're so indulging! I'm kind of tempted to write more about them in the future.
Just, you are SO nice. Thank you for all your kind words. I'm very, very happy you enjoyed the story. Again, thank you. :) Report Review
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!
First of all, wow, I thoroughly enjoyed this story. :) Narcissa/Remus is not a pairing I would have ever thought to explore, but you sell it completely. I also think it works quite well with the Beauty and the Beast theme.
You mention in your author's note that you didn't have a beta-reader for the second half, and I did notice a couple of weird things there, but I'll get to those in a minute.
Paragraphs like this one (and there are a lot of them) really help to sell the relationship:
"He knew she was aware of his attraction to her and that she was enjoying it. After all, this was Narcissa Black, the ice beauty. But somehow, on that ordinary yet strange night of her stargazing, she was not only beautiful."
I also think both characterizations are spot-on. The only non-canon detail I noticed is that you've changed Narcissa from being a few years older to one year younger, but the story works so well that it doesn't bother me.
Little exchanges like this one help to sell the characterizations:
"Dammit, Narcissa...you're screwing around with a half-blood, you hypocrite."
"So? His rules don't have to apply to everyone all the time."
There were two awkward sentences that stuck out. The first is soon after their breakup:
"It was not the person she was with him that she loved about his presence."
I think it's saying that she became another person in his presence, but that's not what she loved about him ... but I'm not 100% sure.
The second is actually two consecutive sentences that say similar things. I think the thoughts in both could be condensed quite nicely into one sentence:
"She wondered why of all people she had to meet a werewolf. And she also wondered why the only person that she had liked genuinely in years had to turn out into being a werewolf."
I also have to mention your inclusion of Snape at the end. :) I like that their exchange shows that he cares more about Potter looking like the hero to Lily, and that perhaps she still cares a tiny bit for Lupin.
Finally, I love the last sentence! You show the source of the change in her that manifests at the end of Deathly Hallows when she lies to protect Harry. :) :)Author's Response: I am SO sorry for this very, very late review reply. Thanks for the review so much, though. It made my day the first time I read it. :) Since this story is one of my story babies, I'm really thankful for you pointing out the errors, that way I can revisit those places and make them better. I'll definitely do that, thanks. :)
I guess I didn't realize Narcissa was much older when I wrote this. Canon sometimes really slips my mind, I'm so guilty, but I think it's okay to change little details from time to time for the sake of the story.
Snape waltzed into the story of his own accord, sort of. I didn't plan on adding him and there he was, so I'm glad you enjoyed his inclusion.
Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a helpful review. It's very much appreciated. Report Review
Whew! This was a read! It was beautiful but long! Nothings wrong with long, but its killer to critique! XD
So I am finally here with your review! But before I start, this ship is brilliant! I really enjoyed it!
Imageryy: I think you had lots of description and it was beautiful! You really bmade the story very vivd and clear to me, which is wonderful! Imagery/Descriptions/whateveryoucaretocallit really does added something special to the story!
Plot: This was really cool! I've never read a Remus/Narcissa, never even thought of it, but you made it special! The style of your writing is truly hypnotizing so I found it very easy to get lost in the story! The descriptions also added to this as well.
Characterization: This was great as well! You are truly very talented! I felt very close to both characters and I felt their emotions very clearly.
Grammar/Spelling: This was fine! I didn't notice anything, but I'm not too good at finding that stuff unless I'm focusing specifically on it;P
I really think was a beautiful piece, I am truly impressed! Thanks for requesting!
EverAuthor's Response: I know it's long, heh, I never planned on it being so long, but when I was writing it, it turned into a little monster, lol. And right? Remus/Narcissa is breath-taking. I mean, I only wrote it this once and I can't remember for the life of me how I thought of it, but it has so many possibilities! Their characters both have this edge. Anyway, before I start rambling about my love for the Remcissa, thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review. :) This story nearly killed me when I was writing it, so I'm glad to see it paid off and that you enjoyed reading it. Report Review
It was Interesting. An odd pairing that really sets your story apart, in a good way. Characterization of both Remus and Narcissa go above and beyond my perception of the two characters. There were some places, the way you phrased sentences that made me have to re-read them a few times until I understood that they did make sense. Plot of your story is wonderful, kept me on my toes. Great work.Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review. I understand some sentences are hard to read, they are for me too now that i read this story, because i was writing it couple of hours between the deadline. I really need to give it a big edit these days. But Im glad the plot seemed interesting to you. Thanks again for reading. Report Review
I really enjoyed your telling of Beauty and the Beast. There were some moments that actually touched a personal cord with me, due to my own current life. Those moments, my eyes stung a bit, and my throat tightened with the intensity of it. If I didn't know any better, I would say that this story could actually be cannon. You kept to their personalities really well, and executed the story wonderfully. Plus, the pairing is one I hadn't seen before, so well done on pulling that off. I will definitely recommend this story. Great job and keep writing.Author's Response: Wow, it's so interesting the story touched a cord with you. I guess I'm sorry it made you sad or something, but I'm glad it evoked some emotions. And thank you for this review, it's so nice. I like to think this could happen, it would've been interesting, wouldn't it? I tried really hard not to involve anyone else into the picture, except Snape maybe. Yes, Remus/Narcissa is something I don't even remember how it occured to me, but it was fun to write something so unusual and obscure. Thanks so much. :) Report Review
"To her, he was like the explosions that take place in the night sky, the supernovas she never had the luck to witness. Sometimes she could see the moon reflect in his eyes with strange glow. He was the fascination she longed for, the fascination almost equal to her stars. In some far-fetched way, he reminded her of stars. Falling into him was like falling headfirst into the sky. Explanations werenít needed. This was the magical world of both witchcraft and human emotions." >> I love that.
And that ending. Perfection. It was beautiful and heart-wrenching. I definitely felt a connection with both Remus and Narcissa. I pitied her for her pride and he for his pain. And that ending? Marvelous. I love how he came to stand there beside her, without saying a word. It was just so perfect I can't even describe :)
The dynamic you established between Remus and Narcissa was something I really enjoyed. They were still totally in canon - Narcissa with her sneering pride and hatred of impure blood, and Remus with his quiet, keen intelligence and open heart - yet you made their relationship seem entirely plausible.
I have to say, that when I first saw the length of this it nearly deterred me as I generally stick to reading chapters around 3000 words, but I'm so, so glad I did read this. Excellent work. I don't know what else to say :)
10/10Author's Response: Dani! *crashtackle* Thank you SO much. I was so worried about the ending. I was finishing this off two hours before the deadline and I really wanted to submit it! (actually, in the end they extended the deadline -facepalm-), so I'm so happy you liked it so much. I wanted it to be abrupt and not sort of unfulfilled, since that's the way some things happen in life.
I have to admit I wanted to rip my heair out in places while writing this, but then I also enjoyed writing the little moments between Remus and Narcissa. I guess it's what you get when you're dealing with an unlikely pair. There's just so many ways one can go and it's been a wonderful experience, really. I was also worried whether it would be believable, so thank you thank you for saying it was actually plausible.
Haha, I never planned this to be so long, but this seems to happen to me all the time. I start writing something, and then it just spins out of control. Like this one. I'm happy you didn't give up on it because of the length.
Thanks again, this review made me so happy, you have no idea. Love ya!
xoxo Liz Report Review
heya maji here from TGS with your review.
wow. this was gorgeous! absolutely heart-breakingly stunning! your narrative voice was totally entrancing hun - i was captivated from the start. it almost made me sit up straight and listen, like i was being told a story by someone with wisdom - i had images of an old man telling a group of children this tragic tale. and it was tragic. i could almost cry for the both of them!
you nailed the fairytale quality by the way - excellent work!!
now onto what you asked for ^_^
characterisation: amazing. remus was excellent - strong, brave, but tainted. intelligent but unable to see what it was that lay before him. he was passionate and flawed and so well written darling. you did an excellent job with him!
narcissa - oh my! i want to cry for her and i want to slap her at the same time for being such a silly, ignorant little girl! she was beautifully written - so real and yet so unreal, if that makes sense. she truly was the ice queen and when she started to thaw, she panicked. she also was wonderfully flawed and her flaws consumed her in the end.
snape was marvellous too ^_^
flow: excellent! nothing much to say here other than that it was beautiful to read and not once did you slip from the wonderful rhythm of the storyteller!
plot: i loved it! it was unique giving narcissa this passion for the stars. ive not read anything like that about her before. well done. and their relationship was so terribly lovely and not cliched at all - well done!!
i think you know by now that i loved this!! it was simply beautiful and a pleasure to read. thank you for asking me to read this hun!
a definite 10/10!!
kate xxAuthor's Response: Maintening the fairytale tone and keeping it real and natural throughout the whole thing was one of the hardest things. It was a challenging new experience, so your words mean so much to me. :)
Thanks for all your lovely words. I have to say Narcissa nearly killed me while I was writing this. It was my first time and I had absolutely no idea how to do it the right way. I wanted her to be cold, a Black, but also a human, a girl in love, though overcome by her pride etc. And you just understood it all, and I adore you for it.
I don't even know how the stars came in there. It's one of those good things about frantic writing, isn't it? Coming up with all these little details you wouldn't have otherwise.
Kate, thanks so much for this fantastic review. Sorry it took me so long to review. Know that I loved and valued it from the first time I read it.
xoxo Liz Report Review
This story comes across like an oral fairytale. Your decision to write it in this POV is really great because it draws the reader into the fic. I really liked this line:
While there are many stories, all special in some way, let me now tell you a story about a beautiful stargazer and a lonely beast with the heart of an angel.
I have to admit, Iíve never read this Rare Pair, but the way you wrote this fic seems to pull it off quite well. Report Review
You requested a review and here I am :]
Whenever I read anything one of two things happens: I either get distracted and find myself gazing around distractedy while half-heartedly taking in whatever I'm reading OR I get so engrossed in what it is I'm reading that I do not notice anything else. When the latter happens, it is as though I forget where I am and who I am. It's an amazing feeling, to be that immersed in something. Too often, it doesn't happen. But, sometimes, it does. And it did while I was reading this.
I found myself leaning in while reading and once I had finished, I physically jerked back as reality settled back into my conscious thought.
So I'll stop with the pathetic metaphors and just come out and say it straight: This is un-fruiting-believably good. It really is.
Some of your sentences and phrases are just beautiful. The way you personify inanimate objects is something that's really special. I mean, it's one thing to just paint a picture in the reader's mind, but it's another to actually make the painting speak. And you did that. There was a sentence about how the whispers of the stars were now hushed (or something along the lines) and I was just... Wow. Spellbound. I wish I could write like you.
I really like how this was in 'sections'. It just made the story flow really well. The trouble with long one-shots is that it is easy to just start repeating the same thing over and over again. Or simply bore the reader halfway in. The divisions in this story got rid of that. So well done on that! And I really liked how each 'section' began with a new 'description'. It was just a nice way to structure this :]
And the description itself was really well done. All the sentences in between discussing the plot and characters was so well written. Gah. I'm jealous! I want to write like you. Can I just, you know, take some of your writing talent? Please? I'll give you a cookie in return!
Your characterisation of Narcissa is perfect. I think that a lot of people felt that she was slightly victimised, that she did not follow Voldemort willingly. I, for one, think that she was a very vulnerable person. Vulnerable, yes, but still slightly cold and ruthless. You managed to capture that part of her personality really well.
I also think you did well with Remus. While, of course, this is from Narcissa's perspective, I still know the type of person Remus was. Ignoring everything I know about him from the books, I still know the type of person you were aiming for him to be portrayed as in this.
Perhaps my one criticism in this would be your use of the word "me" in the beginning paragraphs. You say something along the lines of "now let me tell you a story about...". I think you could consider changing that. There is nothing wrong with it in terms of grammar, it's just a pet-hate of mine. Insert eye roll. So you can take that on board if you want to. It just absolutely drives me nuts when writers do that. But, like most things in the world, my thoughts and beliefs seem to be vastly different from the average person. So, yeah. Take that as you will :]
I have read one Remus/Bellatrix story before, but never a Remus/Narcissa. And, while both Bellatrix and Narcissa are two very different characters, I absolutely love both pairings. There is just something about pairing the kind, gentle Remus with a dark, wild female Black that can tap into his inner 'beast' that excites me. Of course, it has to be done well. And it is a shame that more people don't do it. From a writing point of view, it really is such an interesting concept. I like to think that Remus has/had a wilder side to him. And this is the way to explore it. I'm sure it would have been both frustrating and rewarding writing this story for you. You have definitely sold me on the pairing.
I also really like how you used the 'beauty and beast' analogy in this. From what I can gather, that was required for your challenge, but you did it so well. It wasn't just a story about an unlikely pair. The 'beauty' and 'beast' gave the reader something to fall back on. I'm... I'm not making myself clear here. Gah. What I'm trying to say is that you often have stories were you just have a pairing. And that's the end of it. And I'm not saying that's a bad idea, but often it just gets a bit... boring? Having that image of the 'beauty' and the 'beast' in the back of my mind while reading this just added another layer to it. That excited me while reading this :]
I'm not making much sense now... I think I'm just tired! God, I really need to stop reviewing stories so late at night. I get so loopy. Sigh.
But bottom line? This was a lovely read. It really was. Perhaps one of the best one-shots I have ever read. Simply because of the way you write.
-Juju :]Author's Response: How do i reply to this? What do I say? Wow.
I know exactly the feeling of either reading half-heartedly or being completely immersed. The fact that this story was the latter case for you makes me so happy.
I thank God for giving me idea to divide it into sections because at first I really struggled as to how to make the story flow. It was so long and had so many points that I was so confused and terrified of how to tie it all together into a coherent piece. Then the sections came, making it possible for me to skip the unnecessary and describe the phases of the relationship one by one, gradually coming to the end.
Thanks so much for commenting on Narcissa! You know, I had moments that bordered with ripping out my hair frantically when i tried writing her. It was for the first time and it was so difficult at times. I wanted her to be real, believable, but somehow different from what you usually read at the same time.
I get that pet peeve. I think i used it because of the Fairy Tale challenge, as in, there was actually a story-teller that was telling the story. Otherwise I never use it in prose.
Oh my, yes, it was very frustrating. i think i even wound up in tears once, when the deadline was so close and this story had a totally different ending, which sucked majorly, but then my fantastic beta saved me and inspired me to take a different turn. :) Remus/Bellatrix, whoa, I've never read that, I must check it out. And I agree that Remus has something wild in him, something natural and really dangerous and Narcissa, in a way, has awoken it.
The Beauty and the Beast spiralled out of control in this story, but I'm glad it did. The challenge only required one character to change the other for the better and they couldn't end up together. First I thought, Remus would be great for this, being a werewolf and all that, but then Narcissa came along and everything switched. i hope you saw that in the end, Narcissa was actually the beast, even though only on the inside. And her change for the better was that later in life she managed not to stay as evil as some other Voldemort's supporters, maybe even that she saved Harry in DH etc.
And *sigh* I am so thankful I have a review like this. I felt so happy and bouncy when i read it. It means so much. Thank you and thank you and thank you. You're the best. :) Report Review
Wow, this was truly an amazing story, and one of a kind. I loved the way it was written - beautiful, symbolic, ans with an air of mystique that does come with fairy tales.
I found only a couple of mistakes.
Promises made are usually bound not to be kept. And questions left unanswered. The two of them never came out of the dark, on the contrary, they both retreated into the darkness, getting deeper and deeper with each breath they were together.
The 'And questions left unanswered' is a fragment that needs completing, and the next sentence is a run-on and could use a semicolon right before 'on the contrary'.
They fell soundlessly on the stone floor as Narcissa sat down beside them, wishing he were be there with her.
This should probably be 'wishing he were there with her' or 'would be with her'.
Other than that, the writing was very beautiful and superb. I like how you made it romantic without being explicit.
The story is very plausible except for Narcissa's age (she should be a few years older than Remus). I loved your characterizations - very believable and deep. I liked your Narcissa too much to consider her a beast. She was very complex and had good and bad points and surprised me at a couple points.
Honestly I loved this. I love the odd pairing and your dealing with it and the writing. Despite the length it was very easy to read; I couldn't put it down. The emotion was great. 10/10Author's Response: I'll tend to those mistakes later today hopefully, but for now let me thank you for pointing them out.This story has never been beta'd since it was entered the moment it was finished (hour before the deadline, really).
Yeah, I noticed after I wrote the sory that Narcissa is probably older, but let's say I just twisted some facts a bit, ahem. I worked so hard on Narcissa. She gave me actual nightmares, because I worked so hard on this and especially her. I really wanted her to be real and believable at the same time in the things that she was doing.
Thanks so much for all your kind words. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story so much. :) Report Review
You have a way with words and this story is just, beautiful. Report Review
Hey it's elisalinguine_x from the forums.
I don't know what to say really, I'm speechless. That was simply amazing. It was so well written and so powerful I am lost for words. I cannot find one single fault with it, it was wonderful.
I have to admit, at the beginning I was quite intimidated with reading such a long one-shot but I'm so glad I did because this has to be one of the best stories I've ever read in my life. Your description is so poweful and emotional, it really drags the reader in. The way you portray the characters was great and I could not think of a better way to portray any of them.
I really liked how you included Snape's incident in the story I thought that fit quite nicely with the flow of the story and the timing at which it came was perfect too. I like Narcissa's personality and you make Remus sound so adorable and sweet I just want to hug him now :)
To be completely honest I loved every single bit of it and I would recomment it to anyone as it was simply amazing. It would have been a great novel too and if you ever have some time you might want to go back to this one-shot and turn it into a novel. I would be reading it for sure!
I am adding this to my favourites straight away and if you have anything else you want me to review please feel free to request, I'm sure they will all be as good as this one!
I give you a total of 10/10.
Great job! I loved it!
xAuthor's Response: Wow. Thank you so much for all your beautiful and kind words. I'm intimidated by the length as well. I never planned it to be this long. This was the first one-shot that got out of planned proportion and then it just stuck with me when writing other one-shots.
I wish I could say something more, but this review just made me too happy for words to explain. Thank you. :) Report Review
This story is just beautiful. There's no other way to describe it. It's so well written and just overall great. I loved it!!!
Can't wait to read your other stories. Report Review
OMG this made me cry.. Your an amazing writer and this is such an endearing, lovely and sad story I loved it... Report Review
For some reason, even though I am logged in, I am logged out when I click the link to this story. :( I want to add it to my faves, since it's wonderful!
Another story about a ship I've never read before and I'm glad you shared it. Your characterization of Narcissa is AMAZING. That's how I love her. That's what I want to read in all fanfictions.
Your writing is just brilliant. I'll definitely add you to my fave authors. ^___^
~Mitch Report Review
Plot, characterization... Both good, definitely. The plot is definitely believable - considering Narcissa's personality, and all... Though, I haven't really payed that much attention to Narcissa and Remus (as a couple)... So I can't really comment on how they would act together...
Th flow is really nice, too! Your really good at keeping the readers attention! And, I didn't get frustrated at the lack of dialogue, either!
It's great that this story has a completely different view of things (from what I'm used to, anyway)!
You have good grammar, from what I see... Your a great writer! Hm... I don't see anything wrong (sorry!)...
So, overall, really good! Report Review
This is so sweet! *tears* the love between them was so easily crumbled upon obstacles though, which is quite saddening. I just realized something. If this story really happened, it would have meant that Tonks was dating her aunt's ex boyfriend! Wow. :) good story! you were really good at handling the emotions:)Author's Response: Thank you. And yeah, I even had a scene where Narcissa confronts Remus about this and mocks him for being with her niece, but that went out of the story after the heavy editing.
I'm glad you liked reading it. I like this story very much and writing it has been an interesting journey, so this means a lot. Report Review
Hi, this is maraudersmap from the forum. :)
Your writing is almost painfully beautiful. Seriously, I'm awestruck. Your descriptions are flawless, and you've managed to combine the two challenges wonderfully. I knew that this was going to be an amazing story before I even started to read. Why? The captivating summary, of course.
You've captured Remus and Narcissa's relationship perfectly. It's very believable, and not once are they out of character. I liked how he wasn't attracted to her before that day when she let her mask fell; how their first kiss was awkward yet intense; how she felt like she was losing herself too much; how he saw her for what she really was and knew she had many flaws... and when she told him her views on Voldemort, of course. His reaction was so Remusy! I was so, so sad (and happy) when she found out that he was a werewolf. I was happy because her reaction was perfect. Her encounter with Snape was brilliant: Somewhere deep inside of her she didn't hate him, and she only let it show when he was threatened.
I was almost in tears when I finished reading. The ending was... well, it was pure brilliance. I hope you know what an amazing writer you are.
I wanted to leave a constructive review, but truth to be told, I can't find anything bad about this. 10/10
PS: Oh, and Narcissa never did join the death eaters - she just came to their meetings. Perhaps this had something to do with Remus? :)Author's Response: I know she never did, but she was a supporter, after all. And yeah, maybe she never joined them officially precisely because of this. :)
I'm really sorry this reply is so late. I really love this review and read it so many times. You've been too nice. I'm so happy and glad you liked the story as much. I don't even really know what to say, actually, your review's just that wonderful. Thank you. So much. :) Report Review
Okay, this review isn't going to be nearly as long as the one I left before the crash, but I just had to come back and re-review this. It's such an excellent story, something so creative and unique that only you could do. I love the way you told this story.. you really have your own voice that's apparent really well here. I like that it was Narcissa that convinced Snape not to say anything about Remus being a werewolf. That really was a bit step for her to show that she cared. Even though their happy ending didn't come, I think she showed her love through saving Remus from ridicule there.. redeeming her own character. I loved your characterization of Narcissa throughout the whole story, especially the stargazing bit, and how Narcissa was the only one not named after a star (I never realized that until you mentioned it). This was a really amazing piece! Excellent writing, Liz! Report Review
Oh em gee! *ish stunned* This was so intense, Liz. I started with a I-am-on-the-top-of-the-world-smile on my face and by the time I reached the end, I was like "wow!" I mean, the way you described stuff and the beginnings after every hr tag (you know, when a new scene started) were pure genius! I couldn't stop reading, I was reading at full speed, very eager to know what would happen next. You do have a way with words, Bonc.
And OMG, Narcissa and Remus. The so-called Beauty and the Beast. They are absolutely excellent in this fic...so inspiring. You've portrayed them very nicely. I mean, it's hard to think of a character in a particular way but sticking to the same personality throughout the story (especially a fic that involves romance and change of heart and all that stuff) is way cool! I think I've already told you this before but you are one talented writer, Lizzie.
The plot was really simple (all the stargazing stuff kept reminding me of A Walk To Remember, which I totally don't mind) but very intense and full of darkness, with no real twists because, somehow, I kinda knew what was going to happen. Also, I loved the those conversations between Remus and Narcissa. You did good with the dialogue. Very suitable.
All in all, Edge totally made me want to create a Liz statue and worship it :P Okay, I'm kidding...but seriously, I LOVED IT! Narcissa rocks in this story. So glad you stuck to her character till the very end *hugglesquishglomps* Report Review
Hey, it's Lia from the forums!
I found this story very intriguing; the pairing was kind of unusual but somehow I think Remus was good for her. She did not have to pretend when she was around him, he made her true self show, even if it was a side of her he did not want to see.
You brought up all the issues that would plague a relationship such as theirs and it was obvious that the blood purity one would cause either of them to go over the edge.
I love the mythological things you included as well as the beauty and the beast allusions; it gave the story a nostalgic feel, if you get what I mean. I thought your opening was beautifully written.
It flowed pretty well in its sections, though with all the breaks I'm wondering how come you put it as a one-shot instead of a short story.
Your characterisation was good, despite the pairing because you've kept both Remus and Narcissa in their element. What struck me most about Narcissa is when she asked Snape not to tell anyone about Remus' condition, was that regret she felt for her words and she really felt something for him? You wrote Remus' reaction to her finding out about his secret really well. The part when they're sitting under the tree and she asks him what his secret is, I swear, that was hot.
Including Snape's altercation (to put it lightly) with Remus in werewolf form was good, also when Narcissa gave the real reason for him looking all sour afterwards, lol.
This is a story I'd really love to hear in a podcast, just the descriptions alone sold me and it's a rather interesting plot.
Lia.Author's Response: Hello Lia! I agree that Remus was someone she had never met before nor would ever meet in the future. But in spite of all the good he brought in her, it would never be lasting. Just like you mentioned, they would always have too much issues. In my head, they are both headstrong and firm in their beliefs, Remus more than Narcissa (she's more of a prejudiced kind), so that really plagued the relationship.
Ah, the Beauty and the Beast started all of this after all, since this was written for the challenge. I struggled for a while just how to add it into the story, so I'm so pleased you liked it. The reason she asked Snape to keep the secret can be explained in more ways. Perhaps she was sorry, perhaps it was that one bit of love she still felt for him, and maybe she just wanted to have a taste of what it is to be a decent human.
I'm so happy you mentioned the part under the tree. I have to say I swooned a bit when I imagined it myself! Wow, I never imagined to hear this story in a podcast, but thanks for mentioning that.
You have no idea how much this review means to me. Thank you so, so much for taking the time to read and leave all these wonderful words. Report Review
That was beautiful, Liz! It's a pairing I never thought of, but you pulled it off wonderfully. I love the fairytale-ish narration, and how you compared their relationship to a shooting star. You portrayed the emotions brilliantly, and I love how Narcissa kept the secret even though she reacted so violently at first. Great job! Keep it up! *huggles*Author's Response: Wow, Priss, thank you so much for reading this, it means a lot to me! I always wanted to write this pairing, but it took me ages to come around to do it. When I write, I want it to be plausible, and finding the way to this was tough, and I changed this story around countless times, but I'm very happy to hear the final effect was good and you liked it. At first the fairytale-ish narration scared me like everything about the story basically, but in the end I really enjoyed writing it.
Thanks so much, once again! :) Report Review
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