Hey this is fantastic, I really enjoy the plot and your set up, but unfortunitly, I'm a grammar nut! My advice is to double check your sentances to make sure they low more easily along!

Good luck,

-Emotional Range of a Teaspoon

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hey u can't finish the chapter like that because now I'm curious!!!^_^
Please update soon and I would like to know what did u thought about my reviews. please?

Harry and Ginny

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Like I said in my preview review u should punctuate more the sentences or else it becomes very confusing^_^
P.S: I hope u don't take me wrong on the reviews ok? I'm just being honest so u can improve the plot and more people will read this ok?

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: Know I don't take you wrong, I am working on that. Thank you though

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Keep up the good work but I think u should punctuate more the sentences. Here's an example:
your sencentes:
Harry and Ginny both turned the color of Ron’s hair while every one started laughing. Then Bill and Fleur came in and Harry started to get scared it was alright if Fred and George knew about them but her oldest brother was a different story entirely. What is so funny asked Bill. “Oh nothing answered George you except for the fact that Harry and Ginny are officially together! Oh said Bill then turned to Harry. Well congrats. Thanks Harry said, breathing a sigh of relief he didn’t even know he was holding his breath. Although I do wish you would have done it in about 3 more weeks cause now I lost the bet. And I won chipped in Fred.

Now an imroved version:

Harry and Ginny both turned the color of Ron’s hair while every one started laughing. Then Bill and Fleur came in and Harry started to get scared it was alright if Fred and George knew about them but her oldest brother was a different story entirely.

"What is so funny?" asked Bill. “Oh nothing" answered George, "except for the fact that Harry and Ginny are officially together!"

"Oh" said Bill then turned to Harry.

"Well congrats." "Thanks" Harry said, breathing a sigh of relief he didn’t even know he was holding his breath.

"Although I do wish you would have done it in about 3 more weeks cause now I lost the bet. "And I won!" chipped in Fred.


I'm sorry 4 the long review.


8/10

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Good start to this story.^_^

Harry and Ginny

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