Very good! :O this was my favourite in the collab Report Review
I cried. The really good Fred fanfics always do. Thank you, thank you for making me cry. Report Review
I really liked this, I've always wondered what Petunia thought of Lily and why she took Harry in. I feel like this story did it justice. Report Review
It was perfectly lovely. I think it really described Percy well. Report Review
I saw where you had entered this into my Malfoy Men Challenge. I have to say bravo! This is an extremely well written piece. I believe you portrayed Lucius in a way that was right on the mark. I enjoyed reading the struggle he seemed to be having within himself, the Dark Lord or Draco.
I feel that no matter what Draco would have won out as he did of course. Lucius is a complex man not to be taken or written lightly. He has both good and evil within him and you captured this so perfectly. The transition he goes through in his memories are wonderfully pieced together. From a young wizard anxious to prove his mettle and bring what he thought would be honor to his family, to a tired worn man who with time begins to realize what a mistake this may have all been. Because in the end it was not worth his wife, his son and his home.
I truly enjoyed reading this, and thank you for writing a phenomenal interpretation of Lucius Malfoy.Author's Response: Thank you very much for your comments.
I always thought the Malfoys were complex, interesting people and that Lucius in particular has a full and distinct arc. I do have a tendency to, perhaps, write him "softer" than the stories warrant -- maybe because I'm influenced by Jason Isaacs, whose characterization is a nuanced one.
Anyway, thank you again for taking the time to read this story and for your review. BP Report Review
this story never gets old for me. you describe the way she feels so vividly i feel like i am the one experienceing this terrible loss. i cant read it without crying. this story is a absolute masterpiece. thank you for sharing it on this fan fic site. Report Review
it is absolutely wonderful..it made me cry.. Report Review
I always thought that Lucius Malfoy was more than just a Death Eater like Bella and this is exactly how I would have pictured him. Wonderful. Simply wonderful. I have not yet read the other stories (or shall I call them chapters?) but I will soon. Very beautiful.Author's Response: Thank you very much. It seemed to me that Lucius had a pretty complete character arc -- from prince of the world to near-untouchable. I tend to view Lucius as a demonstrably softer character than Bellatrix, which, in some ways, is his downfall and in others, his salvation.
I hope you do read the other chapters, because there is some truly wonderful writing in here.
B_P. Report Review
Beautiful. I love it. Report Review
Wow, this was brilliant, i loved it.
katie Report Review
Oh my gosh, brilliant.
I loved this, short but explanatory of Greyback's basic life style, a werewolf, hungry for children, hates his life and tries to take out his pain on everyone surrounding him, good or bad.
I really liked your characterization because Fenrir was most definitley in character, a negative, bitter werewolf but you showed his werewolf characterisitics really well through your writing.
Despite the fact he is a very dislikeable characeter i can really feel sympathy towards him.
Katie Report Review
Uh-oh, i'm crying now lol.
I can't beleive it, i've actually got tears rolling down my cheeks, this scene in the seventh book had me crying buckets. I loved the quote you used as well. It was Perfect.
Everybody was in character and i had a clear image of what was going on in my head.
I think all Harry Potter fans had a place in their hearts for Dobby, and i wouldn't be surprised if more than half of them cried at his death.
This was a brilliant short chapter, and it definitley deserves a ten out of ten.
Katie Report Review
That was utterly FANTASTIC!
Ok, so i know i said that about the previous Dumbledore chapter but i have to say, despite the fact i despise many fanfictions told from Lucius malfoy's point of view, this is a clear winner among this callaboration, it was genius.
Characterization was amazing, everyone, everyone was in character. Lucius Malfoy, i could sense his cowardice yet you showed his determination to save his son, to save his family. So determined he would go to the lengths to finish the Dark Lord himself, brilliant. And Narcissa was her same worried self, just as determined to protect her son. Bellatrix was written very well also. I really enjoyed how you wrote her, her devotion and love for the dark lord just leaked off of the screen. I really hate the fact JK decided to kill her off, i don't know why, i just get the feeling it shouldn't have happened, not the way it did, her character was too layered and disordered to be killed off, she should have returned to Azkaban. I really enjoyed your characterization because everyone was so in character and i could really grasp the emotions running through the words you wrote, understand every thought and memory Lucius had so easily and you know what, i'm ever so shocked this hasn't got the right amount of reviews it deserved because this was truly fantastic.
The plot was outstanding, obviously JK's ideas but you made this your own, i really enjoyed this chapter, i can't find fault with it at all. Your writing was outstanding and your description was perfect.
KatieAuthor's Response: Thank you very much.
I wrote this chapter several months or a year ago, and I remember it being quite a challenge to write. I tore up a lot of drafts. The idea of "encapsulating" a character this complex in a one-shot was -- sorry to repeat myself -- quite a challenge.
I was fortunate to have received many more reviews (which I wish I had backed up). However, there was a computer meltdown that caused me to lose a number of them. (That isn't to say I don't wish I had more; and I really appreciate the thought.)
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter, and for your very kind words. Report Review
Wow, i think this has got to be perhaps my most favourite chapter of this fantastic collaboration. I mean, the thought and effort that must have gone into this chapter, it was truly brilliant.
Firstly, the characterization was perfect. We'll start with the young Aberforth. He always gave off the impression that he was hot-tempered and ever so slightly arrogant, you really reflected that off of his character through you writing in a way that i could place myself in that secene without knowing any better and be positive the person speaking was Aberforth. The way he reacted to his sister's death was so realistic and beleivable, i felt so sorry for him in particular. Gellert just treated him like he was Albus's stupid little brother, and albus was too blinded with affection towards Gellert that he didn't realise how far apart he was drawing from his younger brother. I'm surprised it actaully took his sister's death for him to realise. You showed his realization so well through your writing, how quickly his mind had changed thorugh that moment. And Gellert, you showed perfectly the divide between him and Albus; and how power hungry he really was.
The plot was fantastic, despite the fact this was JK's original idea you carried this scene of perfectly, i couldn't have done a better job myself, this has got to truly be the best chapter yet of this collaboration, it really has to be.
The Spelling, grammar and Punctuation were all perfect and your writing was phenomenal, i really envy your writing style actually. Well done, this chapter was brilliant. Without a doubt the best one yet.
Katie Report Review
Wow, this was most definitley my favourite chpter yet. i love theway you to that whole ancient magic theory from 'Harry Potter And The Philosiphers Stone' and worked on it adding that whole God thing into it. It was a really stange yet original idea and i'm glad you decided to include it. It makes this story more different, more unique in a way.
The characterization was brilliant, everyone was in character, especially Harry. He was unsettled yet determined to carry out the task he would have to face to defeat Lord Voldemort. And i liked that doctor gut and the way you decided to include Ceceliain this as well.
The plot was quite alternate universe in a way, because you're not so much meddling with JK's plot more than adding things to it and making it all your own.
There were one or two slipups with your grammar where you jumbled up your word classes but your Spelling and Punctuation both seemed perfect.
Overall, a really enjoyable chapter to read.
KatieAuthor's Response: Oh, I'm terribly sorry that it has taken me so long to get to this account and see your review.
I'm so glad you enjoyed my strange take on this chapter. I was convinced after HBP that Lily's wand had played an important part on Harry surviving when he was a baby. Of course, I was wrong but I liked the idea so I decided to write this from that perspective.
I just love mythology so I thought including these elements could be interesting. I feel extremely flattered about this review. Wow!
I'm especially pleased that you like the characterisation. This was my first attempt at writing in first person. Harry is my favourite character so I thought I try writing from his point of view.
It was a very long chapter but I couldn't really reduce it without cutting stuff off. I'm so pleased you really liked it and that it didn't bore you despite the lenght. Report Review
That ending was so good, Ginny definitley showed him lol.
Ok, firstly charcterization, i loved the way you werote Ginny, she was so in character, yet you showed a more weaker side to her, as though she was inferior for once. I'm glad because most people usually describe Ginny as being perfect so this was a good change for once. Usually i don't tend to read Ginny Weasley fan fictions but this one was surprisingly good, i could really step into her shoes and place myself into her position. and Stephen, he was nothing better than a dirty cheating rat, i'm just surprised Ginny didn't realise that sooner, no matter, it was still a very realistic relationship. He was trying to use her and she wasn't having it. And that last part, where Harry gave her that look my heart just melted, the best scene in this chapter i think.
The plot was fantastic, it wasn't based around Harry for once, you showed a chapter of Ginny's life where she was going through a lot which is very different from what i usually read from Ginny Weasley's point of view.
Spelling, grammar and Pun punctuation were all perfect, descriptive writing was very good (Brilliant writing style by the way) and overall this chapter was very enjoyable to read. Well done.
Katie Report Review
Wow, that last bit was so unbeleivably sweet, i feel so sorry for poor Andromeda. Anyway, here's my thoughts on this chapter.
To be honest i'd never have touched and Andromeda fanfiction before but surprisingly your chapter title just had me intrigued and i simply had to read this. wasn't dissapointed either.
Firstly your charactreization was brilliant, there was an equal balance of personalities mixed in there. I could really step into Andromeda's shoes you know, relly place myself into her position. I think you did a brilliant job writing her, i could really grasp her emotions and delve deep down into her thoughts. She was very easy to relate to and i couldn't help but pity her because she was in mourning of her husband and her daughter. Teddy was really cute, he seemed so carefree and innocent, just how a five year old child usually is, i like the way you kept his personality and dialogue young, usually people tend to forget to do that. Then there was Bill, as kind and caring as ever, he was very in character. I loved your characterization overall, really well done.
Your plot wove so professionally in to JK's own story, it was the perfect epilogue for Andromeda and i personally do not think i could have done a better job myself. I liked the way your writing flowed easily, your composition was good and just the basy storyline overall.
Grammar was a little bit funny near the middle, you had a habit of jumbling up your word classes every now and again, that's easily edited though.
Spelling and Punctuation were both perfect, atleast i didn't stumble across any hiccups or mistakes, everything seemed good.
Descriptive language was good, though considering your writing style is exceptionally promising you could really improve with a little practice, not that it isn't good already, i just think you have a really good talent for writing, that's all.
Overall this was a really good story, i enjoyed reading it so that's a definite 10/10!
Katie Report Review
Wow, defintley my most favourite chapter so far.
There was just one teeny tiny problem i had with the characterization. Bellatrix was fine, you explained well her devotion to Lord Voldemort, how he intrigued her. Voldemort however seemed a tad out of character. It was just some of the language he used, the way he spoke, or more accuratley his dialogue, no matter, i still liked the way that you wrote him.
The plot was also very interesting, easily woven into JK's stories, i could really relate to Bellatrix and step into her shoes, brilliant job there.
Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation were all perfect.
You have a very promising writing style but i think with a tad more practice you could make your writng even better, still, there was a good amount of description in there, everything was easy to read.
Overall i really enjoyed this chapter, great job.
Katie Report Review
That was so emotional lol.
firstly characerization was simply perfect, Angelina was so in character, and you wrote her depression and trauma beautifully. I could really place myself in her position, really step into her shoes and grasp her thoughts and emotions through your writing. I's always seen that energetic bossy confidence she often projected in the Harry Potter books but you've shown that side to her that proves even the strongest falter in weakness in the darkest of times (Ha lol, dunno where this weird vocab has come from, ignore it). George behaved naturally in mourning of his lost twin and Fred was the same brave, positive guy we've always known. Everyone was in perfect character, you did an amazing job.
The plot was a perfect epilogue of George and Angelina's life, it wove neatly into JK's story and you were successful at sticking to all of the facts.
Grammar, Spelling and punctuation wre all brilliant, your descriptive writing was pretty good and overall i seriously enjoyed reading this despite the fact it was ever so slightly depressing.
Katie Report Review
Wow, this was very interesting
Firstly, characterization was good. There was an equal balance of persoanlities in there, i particularly enjoyed the way you wrote Hannah. Usuall she's a normal Hufflepuff girl who doesn't get any of the spot light, it was so interesting to read something directed from her point of view.
The plot was very easy and simple to follow, quite an upsetting atmosphere really yet i still loved it. Grammar, Spelling and punctuation was perfect, your desriptive writing was very good and i really enjoyed this chapter overall.
Katie Report Review
I'm slightly frustrated at the moment because i just tried to post a review on here but it had been so long that i'd automatically logged off so here i am writing this review again lol.
I'll be completley one hundred percent honest in telling you what i think because i find that is the best way to let the authors know what a fraction of the audience are thinking.
To start off with i've never actually read a fanfiction from Kendra Dumbledore's point of view but as this chapter progressed i became increasingly interested in her character, and by th time the chapter had come to an end it had quite an unusual impression on me.
Firstly your characterization was absolutley phenomenal, there was a pinpoint accurate balance of personalities in here which i think is considerably important to have in a fanfiction. Kendra Dumbledore was very easy rto relate to, i could really step into her shoes and place myself straight into her position. You showed such a troubled side to her personality, it was different yet ever so realistic. It showed the harsh realities of life some people have to experience which in this case is the unpleasent fate tha awaits poor Kendra. Reading this really shines a different light on the whole Dumbledore family History, and i think you described beautiful Kendra's true feelings and emotions. And her grandmother, i loved the way you included her in there in such a way she was a symbol. Yes, i understand it sounds ever so slightly crazy but i really think that her grandmother's character symbolised doubt, she was the reason for Kendra's constant doubt and sense of insecurity, she told her never to trust anyone, she could only trust herslef. And Percival, he sort of symbolised escape, the way he showed Kendra she could trust him, that he loved her and cared for her. So yes, perfect characterization in my opinion.
The plot, the plot wove so deeply into the Harry Potter series, i was considerably shocked by the amount of fact you placed in there, enough to be considered a missing fraction of Albus Dumbledore's history, but also original at the same time, in a way you made it your own if you get what i mean.
The Grammar, Spelling and Punctuation were all perfect (no other word for it) and your descriptive writing was spot on, the detail and description this chapter required you managed to carry out both professionally and realistically, brilliant job.
My overall impression consists of many things. Firstly shock that i was actually intrigued by a character i didn't care much for. Then i was also mildly depressed because after placing myself in Kendra's shoes i realized she was leading a life os misery and woe. I also found it very enjoyable in an upsetting kind of way, it's a difficult one to explain which proves you have brilliant writing skills if you're able to do that.
Katie Report Review
Wow, this is definitley my most favourite chapter yet. You really dove deep down into Petunia's thoughts and emotions, i could really grasp her feelings and place myself in her shoes. I surprisingly understood her constant stuborness and craving for ultimate perfcetion but at the same time spot the line that stands between excusable and out of order. You really stuck to her canon and brought out Jk's portrayal of her personality. Her dialogue was spot on too, and i admired the way you showed her descriptions and thoughts of other people with pinpoint accuracy. I could really relate to both Petunia Evans and Petunia Dursley (when she was young and when she was married with responsibilities). I could pick up on her arrogance and her reluctantness to accept her sister for what she was. She seemed hellbent on being normal and having a normal family leading a normal life. You did a great job with Petunia.
Lily as well, she was in character, always so kind and caring and brave and loyal. You showed a more worried Liliy in thsi, a chapter of her life JK Rowling chose to out of the books which you so expertly filled. Brilliant job.
The plot wove so professionally into JK Rowlings own stories and i could really picture it metaphorically as a missing fragment of the book. Perfectly done, i couldn't have done a better job myself.
Grammar was perfect, as was Punctuation and Spelling.
Descriptive writing was phenomenal, i really enjoyed reading your writing, you have a very inspiring and admirable writing style and it was enjoyable to read your work.
Overall, i liked it, i loved the composition, the writing, the actual story, the way it kept showing the flashbacks, the descriptiona and detail and most certainly the realistic characterization. It was a very enjoyable read and i'm glad you wrote this.
Katie Report Review
Well, despite the fact this chapter was quite uneventful i still really liked it. I couldn't help but feel sorry for poor Remus Lupin. You described well his feeling of being an outcast and how miserable he truly felt. I really like the way you stuck to the facts yet made it into your own story, you delved deeper into his thoughts and emotions and i could really understand how he was feeling, really place myself in his shoes you know.
I didn't like his father, John seemed like a terrible father to be quite honest with you, but i still enjoy the balance of personalities you showed in here, it's always good to balance the chapters out.
The plot, again, you wove it so cleverly into the Harry Potter series, i really enjoyed the way you layered it through the years you know. You did a geat job at that.
your grammar, spelling and punctuation all seemed spot on, and your descriptive language was phenomenal as always, brilliant chapter, i really enjoyed it.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad to hear you liked it... :)
I based most of my description of Remus' father on what little we knew about him from canon - that he had said something to offend Fenrir Greyback thus provoking him to have his vengeance by biting his son. From the moment I heard/read that, I imagined him as a proud, dominant figure that couldn't admit a mistake and couldn't quite handle the consequences his actions brought. So, I don't quite see him as the worst father out there, but he wasn't likely to be voted father of the year either... :)
As for my grammar, I owe it all to the amazing reallyginny who beta read this chapter.
Thank you so, so much for this wonderful review. I appreciate it immensely! *hugs*
~ButterflyRogue Report Review
Wow, i think this is my favourite chapter so far. It's probably because Charity's not had much of a scene in the Harry Potter series, she was only briefly mentioned in the order of the phoenix and had a scene in the first chapter of the seventh book. I like the story you've set for her and the way you describe her thoughts, i can grasp her emotions without any difficulty at all. She seems brave and certain. wanting to do what she beleives is the best. She seems quite kind hearted and secure. A very interesting character you've chose to write about.
The Plot wove into the story better than i'd have expected, i just really liked how you made her your own character yet everything was so perfectly realistic. I'm ever so glad you chose to write a chapter from her point of view, fanfictions including Charity are scarce on this website.
Descriptive language was phenomenal, i've already explained in previous chapters you provide the chapter with the perfect amount of detail and description and i really admire your writing style, you seem to now what you're doing which is good.
Spelling was brilliant, as was punctuation and grammar, usually people alawys manage to make mistakes somewhere along the chapter but this was perfect, you have good Beta's.
Overall i really enjoyed reading this, it was different, original and enjoyable. Favourite chapter so far.
Katie Report Review
Wow, interesting second chapter, again, the title really defines Luna's personality, she chooses faith over fact so the title really matched this chapter.
Luna: Well, we all know about how Luna lives with a carefree manner to her life, even in the darkest of times she's positive and isn't really attentive to the facts around her. I really enjoyed the way you showed her personality through your writing, i could truly grasp her thoughts and emotions without any difficulty what so ever. Even in her dialogue she remained in character, you did a perfect job handling Luna in your writing and i really enjoyed reading this chapter.
Plot: Again, the plot is woven cleverly into the harry potter books, it's like the missing part to the series, fantastically written, you've stuck to the facts and with it captured Luna's true personality. Really well done.
Grammar: This was brilliant, definitley spot on and everything made the perfect sense.
Punctuation: This was perfect as well, there were no mistakes and no errors, everything was spot on.
Spelling: Again brilliant, no errors or slip ups, all spot on.
Descriptive Langiage: Pretty much the same as in the last chapter, you had the right consistency of detail and it made you writing flow easily.
Overall an inteersting chapter, i felt very sorry for Luna and i enjoyed reading this.
Katie Report Review
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