THIS WAS REALLY GOOD. AHH. I LOVE IT.Author's Response: thank you so much! :D Report Review
Truely amazing, I LOVE IT.
You go girl!
xxxAuthor's Response: thank you, hon! ^-^ Report Review
I am completely in awe of your writing capabilities. All of the characters are characterised so brilliantly - from the ones you only briefly mentioned, to the more prominent ones, like Lily, Dominique, Teddy, Rose, and Victoire. I really felt as though I was there! I'm impressed with how you made all of Lily's descriptions and thoughts stay so exciting - no dialogue! Wow, I don't think I could do it!
This kind of reminded me of Atonement, in a good way. Lily is a very interesting character, and I like that she's younger so she doesn't really understand what's going on. It would be much different if, say, Dominique or Victorie were telling this story.
--EvieAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you so much for this kind review. Totally made my day! I can understand why it'd remind you of Atonement. I hadn't seen the movie when I wrote this (I've never read the book) but afterwards, I couldn't help but notice some similarities. This young girl on the sidelines watching this affair take place and not understanding the meaning of it. You're right, had Dominique or Victoire, or even Teddy, 'told' the story it'd be really different. But I'm glad I got this POV and Lily's character to tell it from, because it made things all the more interesting to write. Anyways, enough of me rambling. Thanks again for this review! Report Review
This is an amazing, wonderful story. I feel like that sums up the quality of your writing!Author's Response: Thank you! That means a lot (: Report Review
After reviewing a story which had been based on this one for the Staff Challenge, I read this and was absolutely floored.
I'm not quite sure how you do it. But, by writing something in such a simple manner, you manage to create a power that resonates in the reader's mind and lingers.
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I wish I could write like you. This type of writing is the type of writing I hope to achieve. Simply, yet powerful, emotive and beautiful.
Wow. But, then, "wow" doesn't really cut it. It is just so much more than that.Author's Response: This, in return, had me floored. Seriously, your words mean a lot. Thank you (: Report Review
Hi there, I found this via Staff Challenge five and Rose_Weasley123's story 'The Observer'. I figured, if her story was so amazing, the original had to be at least as good. And I was right. In both, the outsider, the observer, had such a singular way of thinking sort of caught between knowledge of love and naively wondering at what it all meant.
Lily saw things she didn't understand, but she viewed them with confusion and knowledge that they were wrong. Seeing such a popular love triangle from such a different POV was enchanting. Your description was magnificent, and (wow I feel as if I'm repeating my 'Observer' review) the mini-chapters. One thing your story did differently than RW123's, and which I liked more, was that Lily witnessed more mature things, but didn't understand their true nature. And the last two lines were brilliant- completely summed it all up. I really enjoyed this; the plot was good and the writing even better!Author's Response: Thank you so much! This review made my day (: Report Review
I love that this was told from Lily POV. It was very compelling and enthralling to see someone observe their charade from the outside of it. It is something you never see, and I loved that. I'm not the least bit of a fan of the Dominique/Teddy/Victoire triangle when all it is fuelled by is cheating. But I loved this (which is saying something), because of the POV it was done in. I can't seem to muster english words to properly describe why I liked it so much. Little Lily's confusion and questioning was so interesting to read! Excellent job!Author's Response: Wow, thank you so, so much! You've made my day (: Report Review
This is incredible! The intensity of this story is astounding. I felt sucked into it right away, and everything was so clear that it was like I was actually there in Lily's head, watching all of it. Telling it from Lily's POV enhanced the story a lot, both due to her confusion in trying to understand the events, and because she was an observer, not involved, but not entirely impartial either. She's also affected -traumatized is probably the right word - by seeing this drama playing out in front of her.
And you write it all with your usual brilliance and perfection. :D It's not fair how well you're able to write such a wide variety of ships and characters. Congrats on writing another amazing story!Author's Response: Aw, Susan! Thank you so much. I really liked writing this from Lily's POV, seeing as it was different and giving. I never would've thought of it myself (at least not for quite some time), so I can't regret entering the challenge that I wrote this for. Anyways, I'm rambling. But you're right - that third person POV, the outsider of the moment, and one so young at that, really gives a different light to what's happening right in front of her. Again, thank you so much. Your reviews brighten my days (: Report Review
Hey there :)
Wow, this was beautiful. Words fail me. It's such an interesting and well executed idea. I loved it. You write amazingly. Looks like I'm a dominique/teddy shipper for life, even if they are a naughty pair :P
I loved this!Author's Response: Hehe, thank you so, so much! Teddy/Domonique is a far more interesting pairing than Teddy and Victoire, and I loved writing these two. But thank you, very much, for this lovely review! Report Review
Wow, this was brilliant! I loved the fact it was from Lily's point of view, it made it so interesting! Like, you don't really know how the affair started, why, when, anything really and yet it adds to the lure of the story because Lily is just as curious as the reader. Great work, well done!Author's Response: thank you so much! I'm very glad you liked this piece (: Report Review
Wow! This was fantastic! I really liked the way you portrayed such sin and desire through the eyes of someone so innocent. It was interesting... It really put things into perspective for me.
I mean, if this story was written from, say, Dom, Teddy, or Victoire's POV, there would be a lot of emotion in the fic - heartbreak, shame, sorrow, betrayal, and most of all, pain. But Lily's POV gives a certain... objectiveness to the whole situation. The events are seen in an almost matter-of-fact manner. The reader does not feel any pain, because Lily does not feel any pain. I dunno, this is just my opinion, but I think that Lily is withdrawn from the situation, unbiased, and so in a way, that sort of... trivializes everything. It makes you look at it all and think, 'Why do people do this?' It allows you to see the true pettiness and stupidity of the situation.
Like, if this was in Dom's or Teddy's POV, I think that throughout the story they would be trying to justify their actions, and it would influence the reader's opinion. It would make their actions right, when they are so obviously not.
And if this was in Victoire's POV, she would antagonize and hate Dom and Teddy so much that the events that passed would almost be morphed or...twisted into something else. Dom and Teddy would be seen as villains, when really they are just human. Humans who make mistakes.
I like how Lily is objective. I like how she doesn't pass judgment. And most of all, I like how she doesn't really do anything in the story except observe and, perhaps, try to understand.Author's Response: yes, you're right, things would have been much more different if it was from the perspective of the people actually involved in this... situation. but thank you so much for this insightful review. it made my day! Report Review
This is the second time I've read this but I forgot to review it the first time so yeah.
I love how you've written it from Lily's point of view, very original. You've captured how a young girl would see the events very well, I love how confused she is about what she is seeing.
On another note, I've seen on loads of stories 'written for a challenge from SAYS', and I was wondering what SAYS is? I think it's a challenge website but I wasn't sure and if it is could you tell me the link? Thank you.
10 out of 10. :)Author's Response: Thank you very much for this kind review! SAYS is actually a writing community and stands for Serious About Your Skills. It's not specifically a challenge website, but of course, we have challenges among many other things. And I would tell you the link, but I'm not sure if I'm allowed /: You can always drop off a PM at the forums and I'll gladly reply (: Report Review
Wow this is really good! 10/10 xxAuthor's Response: Thank you! ^-^ Report Review
Wow. This was truly exquisite. I love the writing style, and your descriptions are. . .well, they're simply breathtaking. Lily's emotions were so real, I was beginning to feel her confusion. It takes a great author to accomplish that and you, my dear, just have. Thanks for writing such a wonderful peace. It was truly beautiful.Author's Response: I'm speechless! I was very surprised and honoured to see that you had reviewed this piece, since I'm such a big fan of your writing. But thank you so much, for this wonderful review. Report Review
Beauitful. Sad, yes, but beautiful. Your writing is amazing, and every word gives the story something special, something unique. I love how it's from Lily's perspective and it's really a nice peace of work. You're an amazing writer for one and the story, the plot, is great on its own too. But the way you wrote it really have it something special. (:Author's Response: I'm speechless! Just... Thank you so much for this lovely review. It made my day (: Report Review
Hi :) Here to review as promised!
What a beautiful piece of prose! I'm quite literally blown away by the power of your words. I think every one of them was chosen deliberately, really having an effect on me. The descriptions, the narrative... It was perfect. What I loved the most about it was the fact that you told it from Lily's point of view. Really refreshing and original, and I honestly loved it.
I've only read a few Teddy/Victoires, and this one was remarkably different. I just think your descriptions were stunning! I could really imagine Teddy and Dominique together just as you wrote it, and I really empathised with Lily. Having her tell the story was a stroke of genius, I can't think what inspired you to do that. And the ending was fabulous, what with the snow, the silence and the scene that played out before Lily's eyes. Quite dreamlike, actually.
Lily's emotions were really clear and realistic throughout, I have to say. She couldn't understand what was happening around her, and i think that's a really nice take on your idea. There were probably other ways of writing it, but this one worked so well! The reader discovers more about the scene through Lily's confused eyes, and i loved how her doubt and confusion shaped the mood. Beautiful :)
10/10, easily :) Thank you so much for requesting!
- MarinaAuthor's Response: Wow, thank you very much. You've made my day! ^_^ Report Review
Wow. This was amazing. Like watching a movie, it was so clear in my mind. A very fascinating look at Teddoire, too. Great use of a love triangle, an often trotted-out plot device that rings very true here. Lily's unease with the situation, her uncertainty as to the right thing to do, was very much a reflection of her parents' attitudes toward morality, particularly Harry's. I found the description of Rose as narrow-minded to be a very interesting, and not as well-used in fanon as it should be, idea. Hermione, after all, is quite narrow-minded.
Really excellent. You are truly extremely talented.Author's Response: I'm very glad you liked this! It truly was a challenge to write. And truth be told, why I made Rose a little narrow-minded in this was because I wanted to enhance the feeling that Lily was alone in her observations and thoughts. I usually like to believe that Rose isn't at all like that =p Thank you very much, momotwins! Your reviews mean a lot! Report Review
WHOA!!! Bless little Lily and your ability to engage the reader, Steph. I absolutely love those kids, and especially Lily, who is very acute and very endearing. Resembles her parents very much too. I absolutely loved this piece, it flows so well, and it reads so fast. I am putting this into favorites, because I want to know what happens next. I might really enjoy Next Generation after all. :)Author's Response: I've come to love Next Generation. It's hard not to, actually. But in any case, I'm glad you liked this, seeing as it's a personal favourite of mine. I have to say that while I'm very happy you added this to your favourites, there isn't really more to come... *blushes* This is a one-shot and I'm not planning on continuing on it, at least not in the near future, seeing as I'm working on three chaptered stories =( But thanks for reviewing dear! Report Review
Beautiful. Shivers ran up my spine throughout. This could have something to do with the fact I am listening to the most beautiful music at the same time, and too much of a good thing is pretty emotional. Any how, back to the story, I must give big applause on the imagery. I'm assuming this is a one-shot - I forgot to check before reading - and you have given a wonderful ending. A lot of people fail to give one-shots good endings, and you have not. I love that you chose someone's point of view that isn't the main characters. It gives the story brilliant dynamics. This story was brilliant all together. You capture all the emotions wonderfully.
I good keep going, but I think you get that I really enjoyed (for lack of a better word) this story. :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! You've totally made my day ^-^ Report Review
This took my breath away. I absolutely adore Dominique as a character, although she isn't written about much, and Teddy/Dominique isn't something I'd thought of before but I like the idea.
I thought this was written fantastically. I love how you portrayed Lily and the fleeting description of Rose was just how I imagine her.
I love it!
xAuthor's Response: Thank you very much PenguinsWillReignSupreme! I really liked writing Dominique, even if it was through Lily's eyes ^_^
This is so... profound and powerful. I really love the theme of this one-shot. Of how love doesn't necessarily conquer all and that even with something as beautiful as love, there is still evil lurking beneath the surface. All of which is seen through the innocent eyes of little Lily Potter. How it looked to outsiders that the flirting was harmless and to her it was dangerous. Her innocence and naivety really shone through and it enhanced the story. I also really like the next-gen characters you chose for this storyline. I'd like to think that Teddy would never do something like that to Victoire but with guys, any guy, one never really knows, especially when he comes from such a potent mix of magical blood. Dominique, I'm sorry to say, does seem like the person to do that to her own sister. I really like how you portrayed the darker side of the next-gen kids. The writing style had a wonderful, almost lyrical flow to it. I also like the air of ambiguity you established, letting the reader use their imagination without being too much. Easily one of my favorite one-shots by you. 10/10.
~MistyAuthor's Response: Yes, Ted is a guy and one can never tell, even though I usually like to think that he never would either. The conclusion would simply be that they are very unpredictable. And again, I agree: sadly, Dominique does seem like someone who could do something like this. It makes me kind of sad, but still, they're always portrayed as so happy and carefree - all of them - and I needed something else for a change. Needed to explore other sides to them, and I'm very happy you liked that I showed this darker side to them. I loved writing this one-shot. But - again, thank you! Your reviews mean a lot to me! Report Review
Wow! You took a (I think) rather difficult challenge and really made it spectacular. The descriptions are perfectly executed. I can Lily's emotions. You actually made me feel sorry for Victoire, which is not easily done. I'm glad she caught the fact that they are cheating. The way you capture Lily's observations is beautiful even though it's disturbing at the same time.Author's Response: Thank you very much! ^_^ Report Review
Oh my god, this was an amazing one-shot. This is a side of the Next Gen kids that we never get to see; everyone is usually portrayed as perfect and living happily ever after, yet here there's an overwhelming amount of tension and drama between them. Lily is a great onlooker - she's at that age when she's just learning about these tricky things between men and women, why they love each other but choose to do things in secret, why they say one thing and mean something completely different. It reminded me of "Atonement" the way she kind of began to have a sexual awareness as she watched Teddy and Dominique, their palpable chemistry, and the fact that they were both doing something wrong and they knew it and LIKED it. The inevitable was that Victoire had to find out, but that scene was heart-breaking and I could feel Lily's pity and sympathy for her cousin, yet how little she understands of it too. You're one of my absolute favorite authors on this site. 10/10Author's Response: I don't know what to reply, and probably never will, so thank you, over and over. I really can't begin to tell you what your reviews mean to me. Report Review
This is rather short for one of your usual one-shots, isn't it? But that doesn't mean it's any worse, because, as usual for a one-shot by you, it's superb.
This seemed so...evil, I suppose? It's quite hard to describe my reaction. Lily seems quite young, in all her naivety, but Rose, who's about two years older if I remember correctly, seems more mature than Lily, more than two years I mean.
I felt so bad for Victoire at the end, but one thing I have to mention is that I love how you used so little dialogue. it just made this feel so much more powerful.Author's Response: Aw, thanks. Yes, this is shorter than my average amount of words. But the story, I think, works better like this: short and concise. I've always pictured Rose being quite mature for her age. She's the first-born and I can imagine that she, as she grew up, learned much from her mother. Yes, it is sad for her, isn't it? Again, thank you so much for your lovely reviews. They made my day (: Report Review
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