i kinda expected this to be the direction you were heading.very sad, but not the reaction i expected from snape. then again, you altered him quite a bit, so i don't think i should be surprised. i do really like how you included the 'staring at me with those eyes' lines throughout the story; that was very cute. and how it was the closing line made it very symbolical. i'd give it a 6 if it weren't for the previous chapter, which earned it a 7. i have to be harsh because since snape is my favorite character, i did not fully appreciate how much you altered him as much as other fans would not mind. therefore i have to be semi-cruel. i do appreciate your writing style and your plotline. i found very minor spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes, which made me very happy. all in all, a 7/10.Author's Response: I didn't quite see how else to put Snape's reaction. I know he's tough, but he came home to find his wife and kid dead. That would be enough to break anyone.
Thank you for the compliments to my style. I can't claim full credit for the plot as it was created by a friend, but most of the words were mine.
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i did like how you did this chapter, very much. not just because the sex innuendo (which i personally don't believe requires a mature rating, but to each their own), how you switched the snes and how similar yet different they were. yes, this was your best chapter. very fine technique.Author's Response: I like playing with parallels. It shows how subtleties can change the entire meaning of a scene. Thanks for the review! Report Review
i'm still not liking the way you portrayed snape; i'm thinking a different character would have played his part better and i wouldn't be complaining.i also caught on to how often you use the word 'babe,' and it is a bit overused. the flashback was cute, though, just not very snape-realistic.Author's Response: 'Babe' is used pretty often, but it was supposed to be an overly cutesy scene. Thanks for the review! Report Review
hmm; now this is better snape than the last gushy-chapter. playing with his limits, a bit more angsty. and even though the plot line says he lives in america now, keep in mind he IS still british. very odd terms coming from him, very.hmm. but you did leave a very nice cliffhanger, and i am curious about this lena character as well. i thought she was fifty ;)Author's Response: Snape seems to me like he's kind of a master of deception in the books, so he might adopt some American sayings to blend in.
Lena is fun and young. Nadine is fifty.
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hmm. okay.well.this is very anti-cannon, and doesn't portray snape at all the way he is portrayed in the books. i know every author has their own writing style, but.i'm not trying to be harsh BUT; i might draw a line when you completely alter snape's character. he's my fav, you see, so i am picky about him. he is very anti-cannon, much more softer than jk portrays him. i suppose we will see how it turns outAuthor's Response: Yeah, it's no way canon at all. I'm not very good at writing Snape. He's not exactly one of my top picks for characters because I prefer happy to angsty, so I may have gone a little overboard on the happy. Thanks for the review! Report Review
interesting plotline for sure. i am curious to know more about this dimitri fellow for sure, and i am also curious to know more about amelia-is she doing drugs, or are the prescription pills (described to her).many things have been left unanswered or unsure to me, but i guess that all builds through the story :)Author's Response: They are prescription pills for Amelia's post-partum depression. Thanks for the review! Report Review
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