Reading Reviews for So Much To Tell You
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by celticbard so much to tell you

26th June 2009:
Hi Rose Wilts!
It's celticbard from TGS, here to review as requested.

This was a tender, yet sorrowful little one-shot. The tension in the beginning was perfectly expressed. It's amazing how silence can sometimes be worse than the most painful of words. You did an excellent job creating a frosty distance between the two brothers even though they were both in the same room.

I also liked how you used the traditional "dark sibling, light sibling" device. It worked really well here and heightened the contrast of their personalities.

You asked in your request for my opinion on whether this captured the moment or not. I certainly think it does, however, I can't help but wonder, what moment are you talking about exactly? Is this just a random incident between the two brothers? It seems unlikely that they would linger so long in the same room if they had grown apart. Perhaps they were forced to be together? For some reason, I just kept picturing them after a funeral of some sort. I think if you made it just a little bit clearer as to where exactly they are and why, then this piece will flow much better.

I enjoyed reading this fic, Rose Wilts and I would love to take a look at more of your work in the future. Please feel free to drop by my thread again and request another review. I hope you have an enjoyable weekend! Take care!

Best,
celticbard

Author's Response: Hi there, celticbard :)

Thank you so much for this lovely review. I'm sorry I took so long responding to it!

Oh, wow. You guess well. In my head I imagined they were at their mother's funeral. I thought that, even if Sirius hated her, he would have been man enough to say goodbye. I guess I didn't put that in. Haha. I will later :)

Thank you so much! I'll certainly drop by and request a review for something else.

Thank you,
Laura :)


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Review #2, by StoryLover3095 so much to tell you

13th June 2009:
Woah. Definitely one of the best bittersweet stories I have read on HPFF. There is not enough stories like this one here; ones just about Sirius and Regulus and their past.

You are an amazing writer. I can tell just by this story. I couldn't find any mistakes of any kind and enjoyed this story immensely. The length was perfect. Any longer would have dragged the story, so that was good.

The first paragraph was what got me. It was perfectly descriptive and started off the story with a 'bang'. 'Dust particles hanging in the air were made visible by a thin shaft of sunlight that shone through the curtains. ' Woah. Now who thinks of that when writing a story? No one I know, but you did. That one sentence proves how descriptive an author can be.

Amazing story, make sure you have me review some more!

~Cassie x

Author's Response: Hi there!

Wow, thank you so, so much! I think you've given me some of the biggest comliments I've ever been given :) Aw, shucks.

Thank you so much! Your review was just lovely. I'll be sure to give you something else to read :)

x Laura


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Review #3, by darker side of happy so much to tell you

23rd January 2009:
I liked it
I felt like you captured the emotion
of course this my own interpretation of it, but to me it seemed as if they both wanted to say so badly what they felt but their Black pride wouldnt let them.
The one thing that connected them, made them brothers, being a Black, is the one thing in the end that tore them apart

Author's Response: Hey there!
Thank you so much for your kind words. That's exactly how I intended to be interpreted. Well done! Ha ha, you passed the test XD Thanks again!


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Review #4, by rachm34 so much to tell you

15th November 2008:
hey, so i'm sorry it's taken me so long to finally review. I missed your post and then saw that you had requested so my apologies there.

This is a wonderful challenge to do, it can really get your mind thinking of how to add more dynamics to your descriptions and how improve upon your descriptions.

You do a good job without dialogue. Your word choice is very nice. I love how you opened up the story with the ticking of a clock. I really enjoyed how you also have both the brothers remembered.

I love how you have captured the acts of the sun... Many people don't write about things such as that in one shots and i feel like people should incorportate more of what is happeing around the people they are concentrating on in the one shot and you are doing just that

I could feel the emotions running strongly within this story however i dot hink you can emphasis it just a bit more

you have done a great job with this one shot. Good luck with your challenge. I look foreward to the next time that you request a review.

Nicely done overall. I love your use of different dynamics in writting. I like how you concentrated on descriptions. YOu described it correctly in showing more than telling.

Author's Response: A long time? No, not at all. Don't worry.

I know, it was a great challenge. I really, really enjoyed it.

Thanks, I thought the ticking clock was pretty cool ;)

Thank you very, very, very much! I love your reviews. They make my day.


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