Lindsey dear! Sorry for taking so long to replace the review I left before the site crash which was ages ago *feels ashamed*. Anyway, it's always a pleasure to read anything by you, especially revisiting what I personally feel is one of your most underrated one-shots.
I love that you've approached Lily/James from a completely unique perspective, exploring their relationship after they get together. I can't recall ever having seen one like this so kudos for sheer uniqueness. It baffles me that such an idea hasn't occured to more writers, not that I can blame them. The premise presented in the HP books is relatively simple enough: boy meets girl, boy loves girl, girl hates boy, boy and girl fight, boy and girl fall in love, marry and seemingly live happily ever after (for awhile at least). Most authors would have just expanded a little from the canon in the books, which is why I have to applaud you for looking beyond the fairy-tale romance appeal and showing that Lily and James, although a classic love story in itself, are just like any other couple that has highs and lows in the relationship. The first part of the fic perfectly illustrates just that. They're hot and heavy then a fight breaks out. With both their strong personalities put together, such tension is inevitable. You illustrated their volatile relationship perfectly.
As for characterisation, you did an excellent job on everyone, not just the main two. Dumbledore's sermon on love was especially well-written, it seems like something he would say in the books, what with his obvious reverance for love. Sirius's concern was also spot-on, it was definetly something he'd do for James. Speaking of which, I literally laughed out loud when James was counting down all of Lily's flaws the way he did, it was hilariously brilliant! It also broke the cliche that James worships her like a goddess and loves her 'perfection'. Nice to see that James isn't completely blinded by love. Lily's neuroticism was a nice touch, the schedualing of their couple time especially. It reminded me a bit of Rachel Berry in Glee when she did the exact same thing to Finn, hehehe. Way to go for being ahead of your time ;). Lily and James came off as wonderfully 3-dimensional characters with depth and personality.
If I had to critique, I'd advise to split the really long paragraphs into shorter paragraphs, which make for much easier and pleasant reading. But other than that, it was a brilliant fic about how love doesn't come easy and that you need to work on it to keep it going. Fantastic job! 10/10
~MistyAuthor's Response: MISTY!
*tackle hugs* Bah -enter blush here-...I don't know about how good this one-shot is. Its brings me back to a time where I was a) much younger and b) in a way different point in my life.
I'm glad that you like it though, and honestly, at this point, I got obnoxiously tired of only reading one-shots about how James/Liy get a) together b) get engaged/married or c) die. I mean, really, there had to be a whole relationship there. And I'm glad you liked them; volatile is the exact word.
Oh, Dumbleydore is, like, the philosphical voice in my head post reading HP...I blame Jo. I'm glad to hear that they came caross effectively; OH, I LOVE GLEE! It makes me so incredibly happy to hear you make that reference.
I will definitely go back and do some of that editing. Thanks, Mist; I miss you!!
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AWW! I thought that was really super sweet! really great job! you should write more LJ stories! *Claps and tons of cookies* -Charly!Author's Response: I love L/J. And thanks. Report Review
ummm. it was okay.
kinda weird.Author's Response: how was it weird? Report Review
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