Its sort of sad, isn't it? The way life makes you so busy that you can read interesting things. Really, it's annoying. Preparing for College really sucks and I'm not even out of high school yet. Haha. Don't you ever wish you were still a little kid?
Anyways, this chapter was sort of sad. My siblings are like my best friends and I can never, ever understand how other siblings can't be as close. But I think its way realistic. Like, I completely understand how Regulus would feel so pressured from how he grew up compared to what his bother turned out to be, especially with the changes. Regulus obviously still looks up to Sirius, like you can just yell, but he's got this ambition to be better and stand out with his family. It's brilliant really and you do a wonderful job of showing that.
The emotions are clear, too. Like a lot of stories around here are so empty, if you know what I mean. You don't feel anything and sure you may chuckle at a joke or gasp at an event, but its so much harder to make readers actually feel something when reading. You write beautifully and while you have some typos (which aren't even a big deal. Life is busy and Betas take months) the story is everything a story should be. (Too many people focus on the little things like grammar and not enough on the over plot and brilliance of a writer).
But besides my side notes and silly comments, I just wanted to let you know that your story is wonderful and I'm fully anticipating another chapter. I'm excited, really, to see Sirius's reaction to Regulus's sorting. Ugh, shame a stupid house had to split two brothers up.
Happy writing!Author's Response: Thanks so much! As horrid as life getting in the way is, I'm kind of glad that it too you a while to get to read and review. I forgot all about this in a way getting distracted by one thing then the next then the next. I had promised my self to give another fic some attention first then I got distracted but I'm seriously going to give that fic (which is a companion of sorts) and this one another go and I hope to get them done before Nano starts up which is quite the heady task! Report Review
Great chapter, I think you captured this moment and Sirius nerves/reaction to where his brother would be housed really well.
I few typos her and there but nothing to bad =] Good.
spam_up_samAuthor's Response: Thanks again for another review. I'm glad to hear that I'm still hitting it on the head. Sirius is one of my favorite characters. I have quite the vivid image of him. I'm currently grappling with the same instance from Remus' perspective which shows a lot more of Sirius.
As to the typos I will admit I do not have a beta. I would hire one but last time I did that for a fic my muse dried up shortly after, so I may wait till I'm practically done. Report Review
It's okay, Sirius will learn he should have been nicer to the house-elves in about thirty years.
I like how Regulus isn't just in Slytherin because that's the Black family default setting, but because he's personally suited for it. There aren't enough good Slytherins around. Plus, the 'desire to prove your merit' thing equates him with Harry, which is interesting.
>Much like your brother? it asked.
Should that be not much like your brother?Author's Response: Oh I know Thirty years down the road there are many regrets for Sirius. I would NEVER sort a character based on family default, every character was housed for a reason, and despite being a Puff my self I adore Slytherin and try to give them the props they well deserve!
As to the line "Much like you brother?" I wrote it that way because the Hat is questioning Regulus thoughts and fears that he is a lot like his brother. So it's along the lines of "Much like your brother? I fear not." I just didn't put the words "I fear not" in. Report Review
Poor Regulus : (
I really like his sort of 'old-fashioned diction'. It's such a contrast to how familiarly Sirius spoke.
Is 'Bingley' a Jane Austen homage? The epistolatory style reminds me a lot of Pride and Prejudice (also Dracula, but that's probably not as relevant unless Regulus was going to be a vampire hunter, which would be cool but not very canonical.) Also, who did Regulus write the journal for? A lot of time it sounds like he wrote it just for Julia. Is that right?Author's Response: Hey Nar, thanks for the review! I'm glad you like the feel of the story! Bingley was the last name chosen by a friend. She had a character named Julia Bingley, from whom I'm borrowing from. When my friend first created Julia it was indeed homage to Pride and Prejudice.
As to whom the journal is written, it would be mainly for Julia. There are some general points but Julia is the focus audience this is why Regulus does not say "my mother" but simply mother seeing as Julia has a familiarity with the woman. Report Review
I love this story! It is written beautifully, and youve really captured Regulus' emotions. I love stories about him, and this is honestly one of the best Ive read :)
I feel so sad for him though - Sirius is almost cruel to him. I mean . . . he's his brother. :( You really captured how young and I supose innocent regulus is, especially when he went to the station to make sure his brother was alright! That was so sweet xD
This story also has a wonderful pace. When i read it I almost feel as though I am there, it is that good!
The only critisism I have is that there are a few grammatical errors, but mostly it's fine. Sometimes you might need to start a new sentence, that sort of thing.
Please update soon, I LOVE this story!! 10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much! I\\\'m really honored to hear that it\\\'s one of the best you\\\'ve read. I truly think I\\\'m blushing right now. Sirius is a bit cruel by nature sadly but he doesn\\\'t mean it! He\\\'s just distracted... he truly does care for his brother.
I am aware that I need to get a beta for this fic. I just haven\\\'t taken the time yet to hunt for one. I suppose I probably should. I\\\'m hoping to write more here soon! (My muse for other things have hijacked me away a bit.)
(Sorry about the slashes they are placed in against my will!) Report Review
OMG! I love Regulus and Sirius. I think you're hitting their relationship quite firmly. The whole Regulus wanting to be close to Sirius thing and all. Sirius seems rather indifferent, though. Like he doesn't really want to talk to Regulus all that much and it makes me sad. I can't imagine never talking to my siblings. They're my best friends.
Anyways, it was another wonderful chapter that I thoroughly enjoyed. The only criticism I have is a few typos. Nothing major, we all have them. But other then that, fantastic chapter. I cannot wait to read the next one. Really, I can't. I'm kind of bouncing right now wondering what the next chapter will be.
I'm hooked. To be honest, this is the first fan fiction I've ever really truly been hooked on since I was 14. That's three years. Ha. I'm really excited. You inspire me. Beautiful chapter. :)Author's Response: You make me so happy you have NO idea. I was feeling a little glum and I see this review and I\\\'m like really smiling! I\\\'m so honored to know you are hooked! I think I might actually be blushing!
As to Sirius\\\' \\\"indifference\\\" it\\\'s a bit of that but more a matter of just not knowing how to act/react I mean this whole being a Gryffindor thing is tough!
I\\\'m in planning phases with the next chapter and I am hoping to get it out in the near future, the hard part is keeping this fic in line with my Remus fic (I\\\'m hoping to have the two be companion to one another so to speak.)
(Please excuse the slashes the site is adding them against my will and I can\\\'t stop it!) Report Review
Another lovely chapter
I really think you've captured Regulus and Sirius so well
There are a few typos here and there but nothing major, no worries
great chapter =]
spam_up_sam xAuthor's Response: Thanks so much. I really do enjoy the brother\\\'s Black. It\\\'s exciting and sad to get them to the point where they don\\\'t get along so much, but I\\\'m hoping to work on Regulus\\\' sorting for the next chapter! I am not surprised by the typos I didn\\\'t give as much care to the gramatics of this as I usually do because I was so eager to get this chapter up. I\\\'m glad they didn\\\'t deter too much! Report Review
it's real good
pls write moreAuthor's Response: Thanks! I intend to write more. Report Review
Aww, this is really well written and I'm pretty hooked. I'm very interested in what is going to happen and how things will play out. Very good, very interesting and very different. I love it. :)Author's Response: Thank you so much reviews like yours just make my day. I've actually been working on this fic during my spare time between work and other life responsibilities. I would say I'm about half way through the third chapter. I'm excited about it too because it's from this point on that things begin to get really interesting for Regulus. Report Review
I'm in love with Regulus. I think i've said it a million times, but its the truth. I'm really excited to find a promising story about him. Not many really give him the attention he deserves.
It was a great start and I'm eager to read the rest. :)Author's Response: Yay! I Regulus lover. I first fell in love with him when I RPed him. That site sadly died and this is the product of the unleashed muse. I'm glad you like it so far! Report Review
You have a gorgeous style
really I could read and read and read your writing
Lovely chapter =]
I'll look out for the nextAuthor's Response: Than you so much! You truly make me blush here. It is so encouraging to hear such things! I am now really excited to start on that third chapter! Report Review
The letter was absolutely beautiful, truly nearly made me cry
and that little memory i think was just perfect, it's exactly how me and my brother were, older brothers always are bossy, didn't matter that i was a girl
I love the plot idea to, just generally a really lovely start =]Author's Response: Yay! I had the sibling interaction down! I'm so glad to hear that! I'm an only child so I can only imagine what it is like to have siblings! Thanks so much for the confirmation that I have it on the head! Report Review
Another great chapter. I love Sirius and Regulus's interaction with each other and how they seem to love each other so much. I love it. I like how at the end, Regulus is going to miss Sirirus when he goes off to school. How sad. This is a fantastic piece so far. I cannot wait to see where you take this. Please update soon!
Femme ^_^Author's Response: Thanks so much! I honestly was a tad worried about the interaction between them I always viewed them as close and I really hoped people wouldn't jump down my throat for writing them in this fashion. But as young niave kids I see it! Report Review
Oh that letter at the beginning nearly had me in tears. You captured so much emotion and heartbreak in so few paragraphs that it really shows off your talents as an author. Very good job job.
I love the bit with Sirius and Regulus as kids. Veryn icel ook into their childhood before everything started to go sour. I can't wait to see where you take this.
Again, great job!
Femme ^_^Author's Response: Thanks so much.. I love the emotion there too. And that's not me try to sound all high and proud of my self either. It was "fun" to write I found my self in near tears as well. I have an affinity for Regulus. Thanks so much for the lovely review! Report Review
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