Please write a sequel! I love this shot! Report Review
Hey there. This was a pretty good fic. I liked how Fred disguised his feelings with anger, and I liked overall how it was written.
Only two concerns: One, in the beginning, when James and Clara and Fred and everyone are eating and talking, it's a little hard to keep track of the few new friends you threw in there. Just minor, but still gets a little confusing. Remember that we only know for sure the ages of a few next gens, so two many just gets irritating after awhile.
Also, my biggest thing that slash fics must have is a balance of physical and emotional love/feelings. Your's was fine on the physical, but could have been better if there was more emotional stuff in there, besides anger.
Overall, nice writing though, good work!
~lllbAuthor's Response: Hey Thanks! I know it's a bit all over the shop with the new-generation characters.
Yeah I'm so like not an emotional crazed type of person I always have such a hard time writing it, I just never know how to explain it!
But thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection