Happy HPFF Staff Appreciation Day! I'm a day late, but it's better than nothing.
I'm so glad I stumbled on this! Minerva McGonagall is a great character, and you write the 20th century so well! The atmostphere of this story is so nice, I can't exactly explain it- It's enjoyable and sweet and something bigger is sitting in the backgrund as well. I'd like to see what happens when everyone, including Robert, start pushing harder.
Well, no suggestions, you're writing flows beautifally, your dialgoue perfect, your characters enjyoable; keep it up! Report Review
I don't know if you remember or not, but ages ago you requested a review for the first two chapters of this story. I reviewed on your MTA page, since I didn't have an account at the time. Anyway, even though the details are a bit fuzzy, I enjoyed the first two chapters a lot, so it was a no-brainer choosing this story to review.
How about some actual comments on the story? I love the mood and style you bring to this story. It does have a very fairy-tale quality. That's in part because you have characters telling stories (which, when I think about it too hard, the story in the story in the story makes me go o_O). Mostly, though, it's just that there's a dreamy quality that makes me feel like I'm reading a fairy tale.
As you pointed out in your AN, Adrian is a "beast." Not an unusual theme; Disney's made a bundle off of some generalities you include in this story, and they didn't invent it to begin with. Yet, you put a refreshing spin on it. I love the bits with the sea glass and the sundown/merman transformation. I knew what to expect of the characters throughout the chapter (which is probably reflects both your characterization and the common themes), but I didn't feel bored at all.
I'm turning in circles and not saying much. I found this to be a lovely chapter, and in particular, your writing style impresses me. Report Review
Iím here to spread the love for HPFFSAD!
So, I love it when fanfics present characters I thought I know and understand in a completely new light and youíve definitely already done it in only one chapter. I donít want to think about how I see Professor McGonagall by the time I reach Chapter 3 :P
I never thought that she could be a Quidditch Player or have had to choose between two things before becoming a Professor but after reading this it does have me questioning my opinion. You definitely re-created Professor McGonagall for me (I do not mean that sheís OOC) and Iím interested in learning more about her.
Antje Report Review
That was just so beautiful and sad. I wish she could have said yes. You have to continue this! I need to know! Also, I want to apologize for the long overdue review. As usual, your stories are the best.
~KatAuthor's Response: I will definitely continue this story, Kat! :) Thanks for your kind review, it really made me smile. I'm so happy you're enjoying the story so far! An update will not be long :) Report Review
OMG! great story. i cant wait to read on!!!Author's Response: Thanks so much! Glad you're enjoying it :) Report Review
Okay, so I really couldn't remember why Mirabella was on the Chocolate Frog cards and looked her up. Now I'm wondering if that was a good idea. The card doesn't say much so maybe you'll twist it to a happy ending? Now that we know Adrian's story the Beauty and the Beast parallel makes much more sense. Why does Mirabella worry about spending her nights alone if the curse will break when she returns his love?
My favorite line: "She tried to imagine her life with Dominic, sitting in a vast parlor making doily after doily, staring at him silently because they had nothing to talk about." It brings up a really funny mental image which I can't help but snicker at.Author's Response: Hi dear! No, you're right, the Chocolate Frog card is very vague about the exact details of Mirabella's life. I'm not sure why she is on the card either ... I wouldn't think she was the first witch to Transfigure into an animal, since this is the 1800's.
If the curse breaks, Adrian will remain a merman forever and he won't attain a human form anymore. I guess I should have made it clearer that Mirabella was worried they could never be together period, instead of just at night. Will fix it up to make it a bit more understandable!
Thanks so much for your review, sweetie! Report Review
aww that's so sad! poor adrian!!! =( update again soon because this story is beautiful and lovely!!Author's Response: Thanks so much, Rowena! I will do my best to update as soon as I can and I'm so happy you're enjoying it so far :) Report Review
Awww, very sad ending. Can't wait for the next chapter!
10/10.Author's Response: I'm so glad you are liking this story so far! The next chapter shouldn't be long coming. Thanks a million for your reviews :) Report Review
I love the style of writing you used for this chapter, it fits the period perfectly.
10/10.Author's Response: Thanks Ginny, I'm happy you thought this was true to the time period! Report Review
Great first chapter, Minerva is a fascinating character, like many of JKR's. Will the story focus on the story her grandmother is telling? Although I suppose I'll find out, as the next two chapters are already posted, lol.
10/10.Author's Response: Thanks Ginny! Yes, the story will focus on her grandmother's fairy tale but it will end up with Minerva's point of view once again. So glad you're enjoying it thus far :) Report Review
Okay, I'm practically positive I've reviewed this before, but it must have been deleted back with the site crash thing. And, seeing as I've decided I want to read the next two chapters, I thought it'd be best to review this one again. :)
First of all, I love the description, especially in the beginning. Throughout the chapter, I could picture the party in my mind, as I read, which I thought was great. It's nice to read description where that happens. I also felt that it showed the feel of the time/era it was set in, which was good too.
I like the idea of the plot, especially the fairy story idea. The end of the chapter is a bit of a cliff-hanger, what with me having no idea what's going to happen with this 'beautiful girl'!
Another part I found you wrote well was the change from the party to Harriet and Minerva's conversation back at Hogwarts. I hardly noticed it had switched, so I thought that part was particularly well-written. There wasn't some sudden, huge change in between the two parts, no asterixes (is that the word for them?) marking a change in the time. So that part was nice!
Finally, Robert Wood? Is he a relative to Oliver Wood, then? It's interesting if he is, I must say.
Anyway, great first chapter! I enjoyed reading it!
- Ria_LeeAuthor's Response: Oh hi Ria, thanks so much for coming to replace your review!!
I'm happy you thought the time period seemed appropriate! Sometimes I have a hard time staying true to the era and I know very little about the 1940's, so it's great to hear you say that. :)
I love fairy tales so it was a lot of fun to incorporate that somehow into Harry Potter.
And Minerva's Hogwarts flashback was definitely challenging to weave into the narrative. I wasn't sure if it had been too abrupt so thank you for saying that! And yes, Robert Wood is related to Oliver Wood. Wouldn't it have been interesting if McGonagall had some kind of romance with her Quidditch captain's grandfather?
Thanks so much for the review, dear! Report Review
Ah, poor Adrian. ]:
But I really liked this chapter. It reminded me of a romantic fantasy film, and I could completely see the characters and settings in my mind. I liked how you added a little bit of a back story and history about the merpeople.
Anyway, keep up the good work. And I'll go ahead and pop in my "Beauty and the Beast" DVD. XDAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! I had a lot of fun with the merpeople's backstory and I don't know how true it is to JKR's vision of them, but that's what I came up with. Hope you enjoyed watching Beauty and the Beast :D I still need to do that! I really appreciate the review and hope you'll enjoy the next chapter when it comes up. Report Review
I really love fairy tales. Seriously. And now I want to go watch Beauty and the Beast, too!
I think I've said it before, but once again your writing flows beautifully, and this chapter was just as engaging as the last two. I'm familiar with the basic story of Mirabella Plunkett (thanks to the wonder known as the HP Lexicon), but I like how you created such a compelling backstory about Adrian's family and ancestors, and the beach glass, and basically everything preceding and surrounding Mirabella's own story.
Adrian is also a very magnetic character -- I like him a lot, and you give the reader a good sense of his sadness and his attachment to Mirabella.
Great chapter! It was definitely worth the wait, and I'll be looking forward to the next!
MelanieAuthor's Response: Hi Melanie! :) Thank you so much for coming to read this story. I love fairy tales too and Beauty and the Beast is one of my favorites!
I hadn't heard of Mirabella Plunkett until this challenge was issued on the forums, but I also went to the Lexicon and thought her story was very intriguing and Beauty-and-the-Beast-like. I'm so happy that you liked Adrian's character and felt his connection with Mirabella! I really appreciate the review and hope you'll enjoy the next chapter when it's posted; shouldn't be too long now. :) Report Review
One of my favorite quotes from this chapter:
"She hardly understood what "keeping house" meant, but it sounded very dull to her."
The way you wrote Mirabella's family was very funny, with her mom and dad each prattling on about whatever was important to them, not listening to each other or anyone else. Loved this chapter just as well as the first!Author's Response: Haha glad you liked the Plunketts! They are quite the handful. It's funny how my life creeps into my stories without me really being conscious of it all the time - they remind me scarily of a certain aunt and uncle of mine. Love them to death, but they need to shut up sometimes :P I'm so happy that you're enjoying the story! Report Review
I've been wanting to read this story for quite a while, actually, and I figure there's no better way to deal with late-night writer's block than reading tons of good fics, so I'm starting in on this one, too!
I haven't read any young Minerva fics, so I'm excited about this one because there are so many ways I imagine her as a young woman. I like your Minerva -- very independent-minded, but you can tell she wants to please others (quite a bit softer in her young years than in her later life, I think!) And I can really relate to what was going on in this chapter, having been several times on the receiving end of "hints" at other people's weddings.
Robert is adorable, and I like him so far. And you're never too old to hear fairy tales from grandma!
You've hooked me into this story, too! I love your writing.Author's Response: So glad you like Minerva in this story! She's one of my favorite female characters from the series and it was fun to explore what she'd be like as a young woman. I wondered about her background and why she had never married, and thought it would be interesting if she'd had the chance but chose academia instead. She's a very strong woman so I could definitely see her making that choice despite all the pressure.
Thanks for your review, darling! Report Review
What I love about this chapter is its distinctive oral quality; I feel like Minerva, sitting and listening to her grandmother tell the story. It sounded like a modern fairy tale, a genre I've always loved, and you maintained this voice perfectly throughout (quite a feat, it couldn't have been easy!).
Mirabella is an enchanting character, and that mermaid king is an impressive fellow. ;) Their conversation is so banal, yet I can feel the romantic undertones poking through. There's so much wonderful stuff going on this chapter! Too many to list off. I hope an update won't be long in coming. ^_^Author's Response: Susan, I am so sorry this response took forever! This is a brilliant review and it means so much coming from a gifted writer like yourself. I love modern fairy tales as well and I'm so glad you liked that it was the theme of this story. I think I'll definitely want to try writing an original story with this theme someday, but right now I'm having fun trying it out with this story and my Founders story.
I'm so happy you liked the characters so far! Since it will be a short story, I'm worried that I won't be able to develop them as fully as I need to, but I will try my best. An update is coming finally! Thank you for your wonderful review :) Report Review
Hey Jules. Took me a while to get to this chapter but I'm here at last. ^^
So we are now introduced to Mirabella Plunkett (I don't even remember where JK mentioned her!), the second protagonist of the story. I think having two main characters is great. Are you going to alternate each chapter?
Mr. and Mrs. Plunkett are rather typical parents, their concern lying mainly on possessions and society. I like that tendency of Mrs. Plunkett to start talking about things without introducing the topic first. My dad does that so I know how it feels, lol. You could have fallen into a cliche trap with the sisters but I'm glad they're more substantial than that. Eugenie, though not the favored daughter, still cares for and understands Mirabella. Mirabella who we would expect to be like every other pretty and charming girl is instead easily trodden upon due to her passivity - which is excellently seen and not told (oh the power of adjectives!). The relationship between the two sisters though not close feels very real. I hope we get to see more interactions between them.
Maybe this is a stupid question but I have to ask, are glass flowers real? And she meets the merman-king! (Their conversation is adorable!) Or at least I suspect it's him. I also suspect they fall in love. ;)
Looking forward to the next chapter! *hug*Author's Response: Hello Ruth *huggles* Hmm I don't know if I can handle having two protagonists, so I'm beginning to think I won't alternate each chapter. It will mostly be Mirabella's story with small flashes of Minerva and her grandmother, and the entire thing will end with Minerva.
I'm so happy you thought the sisters' relationship was believable! What a great thing to hear :) :) I was worried that this whole family would be cliche, but then I thought - hey, it's a fairy tale, things are *supposed* to be cliche. You're right that Eugenie still cares for Mirabella, though she doesn't really understand why the younger girl is such a pushover. But she's never been the favorite so she doesn't know what it's like to uphold their parents' expectations.
I don't know if glass flowers are real - I've never seen anyone make things out of sea glass before. I guess it's possible? It would be really cool. Mostly people collect sea glass and put it at the bottom of vases or make mosaics out of it.
Thanks for the review sweetie! Report Review
It's Animic again! :)
I really liked this one! Such a cute sort of fairy tale. I really liked the whole Mermaid tears part. That was really creative.
Honestly, I have no criticism. lol. Sorry I couldn't make my review any longer. I really liked it! 10/10
~AnimicAuthor's Response: Oh good, I'm glad you like this fairy tale :) I have a soft spot for fairy tales myself and it's been really fun creating my own. Thanks for coming by to review and I hope you'll continue reading it when the update is posted! Report Review
Sorry it took so long. I got caught up in school and everything.
I really liked your story! I got sucked into it, seriously, it was amazing! It was so calm, the way you described the scenery and everything was amazing. I love your characterization of Minerva. Myself, personally, I would have made Minerva a bit more bossy or mean but maybe she wasn't ALWAYS like that.
Overall, I thought you wrote beautifully. You really should continue. I loved it! 10/10
~AnimicAuthor's Response: Hi there! Oh no problem at all, thanks for coming to review :) I appreciate it so much. I'm really glad you got sucked into the story, because I was afraid that it started off a bit too slow and people would be like, "Um okay where is she going with this..." So it's very kind of you to say that :D Well I never pictured McGonagall as bossy and mean, but I know what you're getting at - she's not as stern and uptight here as the older McGonagall is. But I like to think of her as a more carefree young woman :) Thank you so much! Report Review
this is really good.Author's Response: Thank you, Jaime! Report Review
I was so happy to see that you updated!! I missed your writing! I loved this chapter and I cannot wait for the next update. Please make it soon. 10/10 as always. Forever your fan,
KatAuthor's Response: Aw thank you Kat :) Your reviews always make me smile. Glad you enjoyed this chapter and the update should not be far off from now, so keep your eyes peeled! *huggles* Report Review
Sorry it took me awhile to get to your request, but I'm here! I think you've got an amazing start here. I really didn't see anything too particularly wrong with it, to be honest. I love how you portray Minerva's character so well. There aren't that many stories out there about her and I think you did a brilliant job.
As far as Mirabella's character, I like her. She seems such an interesting character. I love the glass flowers. I've never heard anything quite like them before. :)
I'm interested in finding out what Aurora did, but maybe somethings are better left unsaid, no?
Your story has me intruiged and I'm anxious to find out what happens next, so feel free to hit me when your next chapter is up! :)
TinkAuthor's Response: Hi Tink :) No problem, thank you for coming to review my story and leaving such a nice, long, insightful review. Sometimes when I request and people leave a line or two, it's a little disappointing but yours is lovely! I'm glad you're enjoying this story so far and thanks for saying that about Minerva :) I want to stay true to her character but it's a little difficult, knowing so little about her aside from the stern, tight-haired schoolmistress we all know and love.
Glad you like Mirabella and you're right, I won't be expanding on Aurora's story, but I'll be leaving it open to interpretation. The only part of her story that touches Minerva's is the fact that she went against their parents' will and did what she wanted to do, no guilt or concern.
Thanks so much for your review and I'll definitely let you know when I update! Report Review
It seems I have already reviewed the first chapter ages ago, so I'm back to your second one. Now I understand your remark about me placing Minerva at Loch Lomond. Truly an eerie coincidence.
Familiar names come by. Prewett, as in "Fabian, Gideon and Molly", right? Wouldn't be surprised.
As I understood, Mirabella may have been engaged to Dominic Prewett, but that meeting on the shore may spoil the feast. Is she some distant ancestor to Minerva?
I have a soft spot for nice settings, pictoresque descriptions. I found it all in this chapter. Your text flows smoothly, as the waves of the Loch sweeping out on the shore, washing out the mermaid tears. A nice touch, this legend, by the way!
Gotta update soon!
Highly enjoyable, albeit a little slow chapter. A firm 9/10.
ZoltanAuthor's Response: Hi Z! Thank you for reviewing this second chapter! Yes you see?! And I promise I didn't copy the idea of Loch Lomond from you because I've had this story planned for ages. Besides, Mirabella Plunkett who is on a Famous Wizards Card was on holiday at Loch Lomond when she met the merman. Crazy coincidences!
Yes, I decided to use some familiar canon names in my story, just to connect it with the rest of HP :) I figured since all of the old pureblood families were related at some point by marriage, it would be kind of interesting to blend in names like "Prewett" and "Wood" with McGonagall's history.
Yes, I'm planning on having Mirabella be a relation of McGonagall's, which you will see as the story continues on.
Thank you so much for your kind words!! Report Review
This is as gorgeously written as everything you do. Your descriptions are so lovely, and you have a great talent for conveying the images in your words. I really feel like I'm watching a beautifully-shot movie when I read your stories. I sincerely hope you get some original stuff published someday. Did you finish your NaNoWriMo novel? I can't remember if I saw it or not, I know I read chapters of a few peoples, but I was so rushed with my own that it's a bit of a blur. Hook me up with a link to your July NaNo when you start it.
Another perfect 10, do you ever get weary of your own brilliance? ;)Author's Response: What a compliment! Thank you SO much. If my dream of getting published ever happens, the next would be to see my story on the silver screen. I know that a lot of authors get frustrated because the movie sometimes isn't true to their story or the directors go all crazy and possessive or whatnot, but it's gotta be one heck of a sense of pride to see your book made into a film.
I didn't participate in NaNo :) I should have but I was just so busy! I can't wait for July, it's gonna be awesome. Aww I think YOU'RE brilliant and I still can't believe that one of my fave authors likes my writing! *huggles* Report Review
I feel certain I've reviewed this chapter before, but I guess it was one that was eaten by the crash.
I am so glad you're continuing this story. I think you write Young Minerva very well, and you give it a very good period flair, as ever. You're great at conveying the era you write in, it really comes across as the time period, kwim?Author's Response: Thanks for coming back to replace your review Megan! I'm really glad you like this story so far :) I love writing young Minerva because it's so much easier than writing, say, a Founder or even Merope. I think I have more in common with her than any character I've written before in HPFF anyway, so it helps a bit ... glad you thought the era was accurate too! I like to write stories that set in older times, for some reason. Guess I don't think iPods and Bluetooth headsets are very romantic :D Thanks dear! Report Review
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