Wow! That's really good. I hope you'll continue it (soon or at all), because I curious as to what's going to happen next! Also, I simply loved Jack. He's adorable!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm not sure if I'll ever go back to writing Don't Look... I have so many other stories in my head right now, and my inspiration is directed elsewhere now. Report Review
Please, please write more soon. Report Review
xAuthor's Response: Thank you! I can't promise anything, but I do want to go back to writing Don't Look eventually. Report Review
um. WOW. i was NOT expecting that.
your very brave. normally im not a fan of slash but this is ace writing.
xAuthor's Response: Thank you! It's my first time really doing slash. Report Review
I love this story!
It's soo cute!
xxxAuthor's Response: Thank you! I plan on going back to writing Don't Look eventually. Report Review
A little slow at first, but you get right into the action. A very well written first chapter. You introduced all of the characters and still made the prologue interesting, a very hard thing to do.
The only thing you might want to change is indenting and spacing between paragraphs. You're supposed to choose one and not do both and most authors on HPFF make spaces in between paragraphs.
Very sweet so far, with Fred being the blacksheep in his family! 9.6/10 (I'll review the rest of the chapters when you update them, as well)Author's Response: Eee! Thank you!
I'll probably drop indenting then. It'll make things easier when I'm updating, not having to realign the first line.
Thanks for that tip. Report Review
love it. in one of the chapters, Could you have Fred and his Dad talk about these things " I’d known since birth practically that he would’ve swapped the two of us in a second. No doubt. Jackson was everything he’d wanted in a son. He played Quidditch, they had the same sense of humor. One of Dad’s favorite jokes was saying that I was actually Uncle Percy’s son. To make matters worse, I had inherited the tell-tale red Weasley hair. Mum had passed the dark hair genes onto me. I was a failure. Oh yes! I’ve forgotten. Being a prefect is extremely demanding "
In the last line, it seems like his dad is putting him down.Author's Response: He is technically. This is George Weasley, after all.
But it's more annoyance about Fred being a prefect than Fred himself. Report Review
i love this. do his parents know he's gay ?Author's Response: Eee! Thanks.
No, they don't know... yet, hence the need for all the secrecy. Report Review
Seems like an interesting story, I like the characterisation you've given Fred. However, there was one issue:
"To make matters worse, I had inherited the tell-tale red Weasley hair. Mum had passed the dark hair genes onto me."
To me that sounds as though you're saying that he has red hair, but then you say that he got dark hair from his mum, so it's a bit contradictory. But the rest is pretty good, keep on writing!Author's Response: Oops. Typo. That was supposed to be hadn't, like you said.
Thank you! Report Review
HAHA SO FUNNY!!!
i think gay stuff is super funny
lol keep going...i wanna see how it turns outAuthor's Response: Thanks! I think I'm going to also tie Don't Look in with my other story Wasteland, since they take place at the same time. Report Review
umm ok, this is a plot I have never seen before.Author's Response: Er.... Thanks. Report Review
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