Hmmm, interesting start. I'm curious to see where you intend to take this. Thus far, it is still open to numerous possibilities and my interest is piqued.
Liking the fact that you're doing this from Percy's POV. I was never a big fan of the git but hopefully you'lll be able to develop his character a bit more than Jo did. Also, your description of Bill has been spot on, and I'm enjoying the fact that we will be privy to the changes his condition brings.
Look forward to the next segment.Author's Response: Oh! Thanks so much for the review here. I don't know if you noticed, but I have put this on hiatus for a while, as I was just too swamped with other things to devote the attention I needed to it. It will be at least 2009 before I get back to it, unfortunately.
I knew this whole thing had to be told from Percy's voice-which I don't think I've nailed down yet.
Ah, Bill, I have plans for him.
Thanks again for the kind review. Report Review
foof. what a packed chapter. what's pleasantly surprising is your execution of the chapter. something huge happened in under 1000 words, and it really didn't need any more.
i like the first two lines. they were engaging and brought me into the story quickly. Percy's characterization seems pretty good. I also like how Mr. Weasley's mirror broke and showed a chaotic picture. Very interesting, now I'm curious.Author's Response: Thank you for the read and review and for the offer to beta read. I appreciate the offer and hope that we can work together. This is meant as a short intro chapter to draw the reader in. I'm glad that you enjoyed it as such.
I've had that picture of looking through a shattered mirror stuck in my head for a while and knew that this would be the place to use it.
Funnily enough, Percy's characterisation is one of the things I'm most worried about as this is first person from his POV.
Thank you again. Report Review
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