then i look forward to the continuations. really good story.Author's Response: Thank you so much, your reviews have made me smile as of late. =) Report Review
well written, truly.Author's Response: Thank you very much! Report Review
hmmm i realy love ur story. is lily potter there as well?Author's Response: Lily is in the story somewhere =)
Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
very good job and all but i realized that Cause and Effect are in your favorites, but not its sequel. You may want to look into it, it is really good.
-CocoAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'll look into it! Report Review
This was a really good story!! I just found it today, read the whole thing and loved it!Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you like Next Gen, check out some of my other stories. I have a soft spot for the Next Gen stories ;) Report Review
but all the same, they're getting married!!!
its fine, ya know?
-cocoAuthor's Response: hehe! i felt bad, but i couldn' not give them a happy ending over victoire and tedy. It's Victoire and Teddy for Merlin's sake! Hehe. Report Review
a few grammar mistakes here and there...and also i could tell you tried putting it as third person first [her] but then switched to first person...some were still left at 3rd person; you might wanna fix that.
the story was a little too...happy. no, that's not the word. a little too short, like it didn't have enough dramatic happenings; the reader already knows they're gonna be together after the 5th chapter, so what's the point in reading on?
add a little more suspense to your stories to keep readers hinged on.
all in all, i give it a 9 out of 10 because i really enjoyed the pairing and the plot, you write very nicely and it flows. cute happenings throughout the story, and i also enjoyed how you gave life to these unknown characters...since j k rowling never really continued on with them, but just 'hinted' at future pairings...such as this one.
nice writing, keep it up...and remember, add a little mystery or something, and it'll all come together quite nicely. 2 thumbs up :]Author's Response: sorry it took so long to reply to this! well, yes, i'm aware of the grammar mistakes but i will get around to fixing them, i promise! hehe, yeah, i'm going to work on that a little more. i reread it and noticed you were completely right. thank you!
well thanks! mystery will, hopefully, be coming in the next couple stories if i can get it right. i'm a really happy person so that sometimes makes it hard for me to write emotionally sad stories but i'll try! Report Review
That was funny. I can't believe Teddy would do something that mean/dumb. Of course, I can't believe anyone would do something that mean/dumb. It would probably be good for you to introduce the girl, like saying her name to Victoire and all of that.
This was a lot better than the last chapter. It had more action and was a little slower. I'm really enjoying this fic! 9.7/10Author's Response: Ah, I'm glad you liked it. Men can do silly things sometimes, but that was kind of out of character for the Teddy I'm writing. Just wanted to conflict the readers a little bit.
The girl is introduced in the next chapter, so yeah, that will be addressed. Glad you liked it, and thank you! Report Review
Aww! So sweet! I really liked the first chapter and how you tied the title into the story. It's a very adorable story, without being too fluffy. A very nice combination.
Your grammar is very good! And I really think Victoire seems realistic as Fleur and Bill's daughter. Not too much of an airhead, but not quite a nerd either.
You introduced everyone and got into the action very quickly. It made a lot of sense and I understood what you were talking about. A very good first chapter. 9.3/10Author's Response: Thanks love! Good to know that it wasn't absolutly horrible, and thanks for reading! Report Review
alright, not much to add to my previous review, so i'll just write you something quick :)
the relationship between bill and his daughters is really sweet and made me smile. i can really imagine him being an incredible dad, and you portrayed him really well. and i found the whole 'plan' thing very amusing hehe, i liked the way dominique sort of let it slip; it's nice that she's beautiful but still obviously a bit of a silly kid. :D
my only concern here is with teddy's behaviour ... he seemed sort of unwarrantedly mean. i assume you'll have a reason for it, though, so i'll let the author work the magic :)
a good start overall and good luck with your writing!Author's Response: Ah, a twist in the plot with Teddy. I know he seems sort of unwarranted in this part but the next couple chapters start to explain his behavior so I hope you enjoy that. :) I love Dominique, by the way, and good to know someone else does to. :) Thanks for the review! Report Review
this is my first teddy/victoire, and after this first chapter i'm really enjoying it. :)
i've never read a story that started with a non-messy breakup, but i think it really works. it's intriguing, and it's sad but also sort of exciting because the reader knows that things will happen to reunite the poor lovebirds! i think you did a good job portraying the reasons for the break up, with the whole age difference and everything, and that you still managed to make teddy come off as a nice guy (but still human! hurrah!) instead of as a bit of a sleaze.
i particularly enjoyed your characterization of molly (with her interogation and advice-giving skills haha) and of fleur - that bit about her regretfully aging was clever and definitely what i imagine to be an accurate representation of a middle-aged delacour! the comments were only in passing, but they really added some humour and a bit more depth to the chapter; they worked really well :)
i only have a bit of constructive criticism to give you.
there was a shift in narration at the very beginning: you started with the third-person perspective, calling victoire the ‘slim blonde’, but then switched to first-person narrative. there were a few more instances of the kind throughout the chapter, but it’s not a big deal to change, though, and it really didn’t deter from my reading.
and i have a bit of a word of caution about victoire. it's only the first chapter, so the reader doesn't yet know much about her, but she could easily veer into the land of mary-sues at this point (loving to learn, being smart, beautiful and having the 'body of an angel'), so just make sure to keep her as human as teddy :)
other than that, this is a very good first chapter!Author's Response: Thank you! This review made me all warm and fuzzy inside! It's good to know that I have an original idea, but talking about the constructive criticism! Thank you, I shall review all of that and yeah, I know Victoire is a little bit Mary-Sue right now but she won't be staying like that for very long. So, keep reading and you'll see! Thank you! Report Review
This is good. A good story line and everything so far x 10/10Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Another really good chapter! I like it alot great job!Author's Response: Thanks, Kara! The next one is being written so it'll be up soon. ;) Report Review
hmm I like this. It's going on my favorites. I read this chapter before and the second one but I didn't review on this one... I like it. Your banner's gorgeous by the way. I said that in my review for the second chapter... Love this story. I don't think there's any major spelling errors. I think I found one. 'I remember when Teddy's eyes would flicker to be' wouldn't it be flicker to me?
Other than that, good job. Victoire/Teddy is my favorite pairing.Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
o. loved it. I definitely think this is the last Victoire/Teddy story I'm addding to my list of faves. I need to keep my fave list to a certain number since I've got lots to do this summer and I don't get sooo much time to read every story I'd like to. Good job. I think Victoire's got the green monster Jealousy. I'd be jealous too. Teddy's new girlfriend reminds me of a girl I went to school with. I love your banner. Gorgeous.Author's Response: I know! She's based on a girl I go to school with too ... nice at times but she has a little bit of bark too! Thanks for the reviews and the favorites. :) Report Review
Wow! I like this story alot! :D (its the first Teddy/Victorie story I've read) but I started becoming really interested in the pairing and I'm glad I've checked out your story!
adding this to my favs!Author's Response: Thank You! It takes a little turn next chapter that isn't expected, so I hope you aren't too disappointed in that! Report Review
its got a good story line, but you keep switching from 1st person and 3rd person...ALOT!Author's Response: Eek! I know, I'm horrible at that stuff. I wanted to write this one in first but I kept switching as I'm used to writing in third! I need a beta... anyway, thanks for the read and review! I appreciate it a lot! Report Review
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