Awesome so far, I love it, keep it up =) Report Review
WOW! This is really gonna keep my hanging until the next one is posted :D And the chapter image is NOT Crappy! It's really good! Who's the person in it? Random, or a celebrity? It looks like P!nk to me. Tell me I'm right. I had an inkling a couple of chapters back that Ruth was pregnant, there were some hints. Anyway, awesome!Author's Response: Haha. Nah not pink. It's agness dean :D much cooler.
thanks for the review lovely. Report Review
He grabbed the fire extinguisher that had been conveniently placed on the wall right next to him.
LOL! I don't know if you guys wanted to be funny, but when I read conveniently, I started laughing. :D Best line! Aweosme!Author's Response: Haha. Thanks :) Report Review
I was right! Yay me *claps* Great chapter!Author's Response: woohoo... Report Review
Let me guess- Ruth is pregnant right? Tell me she's pregant, 'cos otherwise I'm really wrong. I'm fairly sure she is though, and great chapter.Author's Response: Hahaha. Toats right :) Report Review
Wow! The story has really improved a lot; this is the best chapter yet, with everything - writing, characterization, plot development, etc. I love how the characters are finally getting some depth with the dramas going on, and I can really relate to both Lily and Ruth's situations.
Thank you for sharing your story with me and asking me to review!
envinyata.Author's Response: thanks so much :) i'm glad to hear that the story has improved. i think i've seen that myself as well.
thanks so much for your reviews they've been so helpful and i appreciate it alot. this story may or may not continue but i think your help has helped me with my other writing. and to remember to plot out our stories before we go straight into them ^_^
xx Loz&tash Report Review
I really like the drama with Ruth's relationship with Adrien and the complication of Shawntel, as well as James's harebrained idea to get Lily. Looking forward to seeing how it unfolds!
envinyata.Author's Response: haha. thanks for reviewing :) Report Review
I'm glad they brought up the weird thing about not trying to get rid of the fire with magic in the story!
The part about Indian food reminds me of the British sketch show Goodness Gracious Me...there's an episode about going out for an Indian. Hehehehe.
envinyata.Author's Response: Hahaha, cant say i've ever heard of that show before but i hope its good ^_^
The description aspect definitely improved in this chapter! I really enjoyed it, and I didn't find it too Tash-centered at all. It's interesting to find out about the characters' difficulties and personal situations - for example, that she's asthmatic. That, to me, strengthens a character.
The fire scene seems a little implausible to me just because having been in that situation a few times myself it seems odd that no one would notice it until it got bad enough to actually burn the house down, and that (if they are using magic) they wouldn't try to put it out with magic at least while the fire was still contained.
envinyata.Author's Response: Reading back over the whole story, everything seems so implausible. i guess that we were just a bit implausible ourselves when writing it.
and yeah, the magic/fire thing had been mentioned by other reviewers so we added something into the next chapter i think it was that hopefully cleared it up. it was a pretty weak story line though ^_^ Report Review
The description again would be really nice! The dialogue is hard to follow without any and it would help us understand the characters and setting much better.
I know you mentioned at the beginning that they'd be turning 17 during the summer, so at first I ignored all the out-of-school magic, but at this point (especially when you're throwing in Apparition references) it seems that the level of magic the characters are doing in the story isn't realistic, considering their age and standing in school. Just a thought.
Also, I know it's common practice to just get rid of Peter randomly because most authors don't enjoy writing him, especially in these sorts of stories, but it would be great if you could give a plausible reason for his absence at least! (Although if you could find a humorous way to work him in that would strengthen the story a lot, I think.)
envinyata.Author's Response: you give the best reviews i swear! we really didn't plan at all with this story. so it was basically writing and uploading with no proofreading or anything.
it was our first fanfic so i spose it can be expected (for us anyway) that we made a bunch of mistakes. but i spose we'll just learn from them and etc. :]
thanks again for your review.
Loz & Tash. Report Review
This chapter was cute! I would definitely recommend adding more description, not just dialogue, and cutting down on dialogue that doesn't really add to the plot or characterization. Also, I think I mentioned the same thing in your other story, but the internet would not yet exist in the time period of the story!
envinyata.Author's Response: Haha. yeah i know. we kinda forgot what era we were writing in for a bit then. and yes, my efforts with description and dialogue could be upped a bit. i certainly lack in that area.
thanks for the review :) Report Review
I would definitely recommend getting a beta for grammar/spelling issues; also there were some areas where it was a bit hard to follow what was actually going on, especially with the dialogue.
But overall, I think it's a cute, humorous story! You write humor really well, and there are some killer lines in there.
“Lily,” called Mrs Evans, “I thought I told you to get that.”
“You did. But you also taught me to never let strange men into the house,” came Lily’s reply.
envinyata.Author's Response: Yeah i've been meaning to get a beta. just haven't gotten round to it yet ^_^
thanks for your review. glad you like it. :) Report Review
That chapter image isn't crappy. This story is really appealing on me and I definately think you guys should make a sequel to this when it ends. Great job, and 10/10.Author's Response: A sequel?? haha. I'm not even sure if this story will be finished. it's almost a sort of dead idea in my head now. I would like to keep it going but i dont have any fresh ideas for it.
thanks for reviewing! ^_^ Report Review
I really like Ruth and Tash. I really think that in the later chapters(or if you haven't already, I haven't read the future chappies), Lily and James should be arguing, yadda, yadda ya, and then in the midst of the fight, just kiss. Yeah, I'm a bit of a romance freak. Good chapter.Author's Response: Thanks! I like ruth too. lily and james will get together eventually (don't they always?) but maybe not for a while unless it's already happened. I forget... Report Review
Ooh, I can't wait to see what happens!Author's Response: me neither!! hahaha.
Thanks for the review. Report Review
Wow!!! This was hi-larious. Please oh please continue!!
Oh yeah, you did. But continue after the last chapter updated!!!Author's Response: Thank you! i sometimes like to think i can make a funny once in a while :) Report Review
I love this story please update soon!Author's Response: Thanks ^_^ Report Review
the orange in the picture looks like it would have been really good to eat. why is ruth pregant?Author's Response: Because she slept with a man.
Thank you flick. :) Report Review
Oh um.u know the red head in the chapter pic? WHERE CAN I GET THAT PICTURE? I HAVE SEARCHED HIGH AND LOW FOR IT AND ABSOLUTELY CANNOT FIND IT!Author's Response: Haha. Thanks for reviewing.
The picture, I got it off TDA. So I cant tell you who it is right this moment as her name escapes me.
She's a good Lily though right?
Maybe its a good thing I keep her hidden :P (for me anyway)
omg omg omg
I so love this story and I SOO LOVE YOU UPDATED
only that this time.. PLEASE UPDATE ASAP!!Author's Response: Well, it may be a while till we update.
Thats because we are hopeless at updating.
But we will try. I promise.
Thanks for reviewing. xx Tash&Loz Report Review
OMG!!! I absolutely love this story!!! plz plz plz update asap!!!Author's Response: umm, sure ^_^
Whatever you say :)
hurry with the next chapter, i love this story
byes xxxAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review.
please continue to do so and we will continue to write chapters :) Report Review
your bannar is amazing
how could you upload ur banner to your story
your story is really cute=)Author's Response: Banner's all thanks to follow_the_butterflies at TDA. Isn't she amazing?!
All you have to do is get an account on photobucket or tinypic (i use photobucket so dont ask me about tinypic! ^_^)
Then you save the banner on your computer and upload it on photobucket etc. After you've done that copy and paste the third code on the bottom right hand corner of the page with the picture on it. It's the html code.
Is this making sense??
Then you just paste the code into your story summary, credit the lovely artist and away you go.
Hope that made sense! Thanks for reviewing. ^_^
Tash! Hey! Long time no talk! :( My old account got deleted...This is GinnyLynnPotter (Ash) How are you? Amazing chapter by the way, and I didn't notice any mistakes.Author's Response: Hey ash! Your account got deleted?
Thanks for reviewing! Glad you liked it.
we have 2 more chapters already written (I know. Us? that cant be!) but due to the queue we cannot post them for a while.
Oh well. That gives us extra time to write!
xxTash&Lauren Report Review
I really liked the interaction between all the characters in this chapter. The only criticism that I have is that there needs to be more description. I mean, I like how you have the characters all in the same chapter, but in most of this chapter there didn't seem to be much focus. I enjoyed this story, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing my story, I really appreciate it! I wish you guys the best of luck! Have a happy holiday!
LilyMariaAuthor's Response: We've been trying to get more descriptive in our writng.
Glad you liked it. ^_^ Report Review
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