Reading Reviews for Wilting Lilies
  
137 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Singerinwhite The Attack

12th December 2009:
As I'm shooting myself in the foot for reviewing this instead of reading for my 10 page take home final...

Your idea is good - in fact it's great, I've often thought of something like that myself. But there are a few kinks in this situation.

Remember - in canon, Lily died protecting Harry. It was the magic of a mother's love, which translated into some very old, and very powerful magic that killed Voldemort.

I suggest this - It says both in DH and an interview of Rowling's that James in fact DID NOT have his wand when he opened the door and faced Voldemort; he left it on the couch from where he was making puff clouds for Harry. Why don't you change it to James actually having his wand when he opens the door? I say this because James would have made it quite clear to Voldemort that he had no interest in joining him - thus, Voldemort wouldn't care one bit that James was a pureblood.It states on the Lexicon that both of them (Lily and James) were apparently given offers) (I personally doubt that Lily was recruited, seeing as she was muggleborn). I was always under the impression that James opened the door, and Voldemort immediately killed him after James hollered for Lily to take Harry and run - feel free for James to realize that he was an idiot for not having his wand and he does something like - I dunno, throwing a vase in desperation so he has enough time to summon the wand.

Next - James does enough damage to Voldemort that he can apparate to Harry's room where Harry and Lily are before Voldemort gets there. James doesn't move, blocking Voldemort's access to Lily AND Harry. Voldemort kills James - or, Voldemort decides to crucio Lily up to the point where she can't move (which is what you have). James manages to get up there and blocks Voldemort's access to Harry's crib. Voldemort kills James.

I'm just putting it out there because I didn't see anything where James is literally blocking the crib. I say this because instead of Lily's love protecting Harry - it's would be James invoking the magic. And it sounds like that's what you were aiming for ( I have thought about the exact same thing!! One day I'll attempt to write it out, including a multi-year trial to get Sirius out of Azkaban - I always imagined that the ministry was so authoritarian post war to get things settled that Lily wouldn't have been able to get Sirius out right away - and utlilize the necessary resources to capture Pettigrew.)

I've always wondered what a situation like that would have been like - especially since Harry would have had to deal with Snape A LOT more often. (I can totally see a teenage Harry getting into a fight with Snape in school and he says something rather blunt, like, "Are you shagging my mum?")

Anyway, fantastic AU situation.

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Review #2, by Phoenix_Flames Bearer of Bad News

18th October 2009:
Oh no. It's just getting sadder and sadder.

Yeah, Nora was a little bitter and not as perky and loving as Jessica, but wow! It's really sad that she's dead.

Oh goodness.

10/10

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Review #3, by Phoenix_Flames Alice Alert

18th October 2009:
Ack. This story is so captivating and gripping, yet so miserably sad! Wow.

Poor Alice! Frank insane. I'm really glad that you spared her sanity though. Very.

10/10

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Review #4, by Phoenix_Flames Serious Support

18th October 2009:
Uh oh! What tragedy?! I'm scared!

Wow. I want Lily and Sirius to get together. Poor Sirius and Jessica though. Loving someone while the other is totally unaware.

Fantastic job, dear.

10/10

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Review #5, by Phoenix_Flames Confrontations and Bargaining

18th October 2009:
Oh my gosh. Wow, what a moving and depressing chapter.

Following Lily through her pain and mourning is so saddening. You are writing it splendidly. I couldn't imagine being in Lily's position. I don't even understand how she could look at James' limp body.

Wow.

Excellent job.

9/10 -- because it's so sad. :)

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Review #6, by Phoenix_Flames The Outburst and Padfoot's Apology

9th October 2009:
Another fantastical chapter!

I'm glad Sirius and Lily could work things out.

Once again, amazing. :) I like Jess and Remus. They should be together. ;)

10/10

Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying it Drue, Jess/Remus won't happen though, sorry. She's Sirius' girl now ;)

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Review #7, by Phoenix_Flames Prisoners of Pain

9th October 2009:
Awww. Wow. This chapter was just so full of pain and loss. It was so sad and I feel horrible for all of them.

Lily is coping the worst, but I think Sirius is right behind her. And yeah, Lily was a little mean about it. That's very very sad.

As always, great chapter! Spectacular. I wish things would get a little happier, but I don't know that won't happen for awhile. They can't get over James that fast and move on. I just wish he wasn't dead! But I have this feeling that Sirius and Lily will get together. That would be very sweet.

Occasional missing commas, but that's it. Perfect. :D

10/10

Author's Response: Thanks Drue, all I can say is: Be happy that Harry has one of his parents alive in this AU. Happiness is a long way off indeed...

Hugs,
Lily


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Review #8, by Phoenix_Flames Grief and Accusations

26th September 2009:
Ahhh, I finally got around to the next chapter! YAY!

And what a great one it is. I realized this chapter that you are great with dialogue. You are. You write it out excellently and get every point and emotion across in a sophisticated manner. Good! ;)

Jessica is a nice character. She's a good friend for Lily.

Onto the next!

As always -- 10/10

Author's Response: Yay indeed :D

Thanks a lot Drue, so many people have complained that the dialogue overshadows the description too much, this new opinion just made me a very happy girl!

At last, someone likes Jessica, she's the first OC I ever created and it always hurts when people think she's too clingy and dramatic.

Cheers,
Lily


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Review #9, by Phoenix_Flames Because we are Sisters

13th September 2009:
Awww, wow! What a moving chapter.

All the craziness going on is showing through Lily amazingly. You're writing it all so well. And I loved your characterization of Petunia! She's not the hateful, spiteful witch yet. Or maybe she won't become that in this chapter, but still.

Brilliant job! Lily is an amazing mother. :D

10/10

Author's Response: Thanks Drue, yeah I always imagined Petunia cared a lot more than she let on, she's not going to be too nasty in this story.

Wow 10/10, thanks hun!

Lily xx


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Review #10, by Phoenix_Flames Rescue from the Rubble

13th September 2009:
Eep! And another great chapter.

Few grammatical mistakes here and there, but that's so easy to overlook! Really great job.

You are so talented in your writing -- your chapter the emotions to everything so wonderfully! It's amazing! Well done.

The end with Lily, James, and Sirius was so sad and moving. I love seeing baby Harry. :)

I can't wait to read the next chapter. I'm in love with this story already!

9/10 -- because it was saddd. :(

Author's Response: Well if the biggest issue is the sadness, then I'm happy! ;)

Thank you,
Lily


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Review #11, by Phoenix_Flames The Attack

12th September 2009:
Eep! Oh my gosh, I finally got around to your story! I am so excited to read this. I am.

This was a fantastic chapter. The actions were so intense and well developed. The language you used to describe them was absolutely unbelievable! I think your characterization of James and Lily is amazing, but oh my god! Poor Lily! I hope she's okay!

Onto the next chapter!

I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to this, and thank you for being a faithful reviewer of mine and so patient! You're amazing! :D

10/10

Author's Response: Drue, at last :D Thank you so much hun, hearing praise of my description from the writer of a masterpiece like Armistice really means a lot!

Cheers,
Lily


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Review #12, by Mary Rachel Confrontations and Bargaining

5th September 2009:
Ho hum! The plot thickens! I really like how you're working the charectors; they're yours, but are still true to J.K. Rowlings as well! Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you, glad you like it!

Cheers,
Lily


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Review #13, by Mary Rachel Because we are Sisters

5th September 2009:
Wow.Vernon is still a ass. But, i like how you kept Petumnia true to form.at least from the seventh book, for the most part. You are doing a fabulous job with this!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot :D

Hugs,
Lily


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Review #14, by Mary Rachel Prologue

5th September 2009:
Aw! Sooo unbelievable cute! I don't want this part of the story to be over! I like James! He's grown up! UGH! Stupid Voldemort!

Author's Response: Yeah, he's grown up and ...dead :( Sorry, I hated to do it.

Hugs,
Lily


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Review #15, by AntigoneBlack Prisoners of Pain

29th August 2009:
Hello, I'm back, and I usually only leave a couple of reviews for a story, so I may move on to the next story, and come back to yours.

First off:
Grammar police:
“Moony, where do you think Sirius would go when he’s upset," should be Moony, where do you think Sirius would go if he's upset, or Moony, where does Sirius goes when he's upset. It's a verb tense thing.

I think I am seeing why you are having issues with description, and it's an issue I face myself. You are letting the dialogue control the story, and letting it lead you. It's not a bad thing, but it leaves no room for anything else, like the descriptions. If you are like me, you know exactly what the graveyard looks like, so tell the reader what it looks like. Take a moment to write down what you know the scene looks like, smells like, and the atmosphere and how it makes the characters feel. That will really add to your story, and give the descriptions that your readers are asking for.

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Review #16, by AntigoneBlack Grief and Accusations

28th August 2009:
Hi, Antigone from the forums. I am working my way through this story, and I just wanted to note one thing before I move on.

I don't think that the Grimmuald place would be the headquarters at this time. From what we know, Regulus is still alive, so therefor he would own the house, since Sirius was disowned.

Okay I am going to keep reading.

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Review #17, by A person Corridor Comfort

24th August 2009:
THAT WAS AMAZING continue writing it

Author's Response: Thank you!

Hugs
Lily


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Review #18, by liebedance Prologue

22nd August 2009:
I like it so far! Lily and James are very much as I imagine them to be here, what with the witty banter and the flirtation even though they've been together for quite some time. There were some grammar things, but they were mostly mild. For the most part it was really descriptive and fun to read. :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much! That's the first time my description is being praised, it means a lot to me.

Hugs
Lily


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Review #19, by JLHufflepuff The Attack

12th August 2009:
This is a really unique idea! :)

Author's Response: Thank you, hope you like the rest!

Lily xx


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Review #20, by Wanted Free7 Because we are Sisters

1st August 2009:
Vernon should die. I hate him. He's so cruel. Amazing chapter by the way. 10/10!

Author's Response: He should indeed! Thanks for reviewing.

Hugs
Lily


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Review #21, by Wanted Free7 Rescue from the Rubble

1st August 2009:
I feel sorry for them. Hopefully Petunia won't turn her away. Amazingly sad chapter. 10/10!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot!

Hugs
Lily


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Review #22, by Wanted Free7 The Attack

31st July 2009:
That was so sad. Poor Harry, not knowing that his daddy is dad. Amazing chapter. 10/10!

Author's Response: Thanks, it was really sad to write too, I adore James!

Hugs
Lily


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Review #23, by Wanted Free7 Prologue

31st July 2009:
Amazing chapter. I love this story. I like the way James and Lily are so loving, yet aren't so based on being sickly in love. Sorry that sentence might not make sense. 10/10!

Author's Response: It makes perfect sense, thanks!

Lily xx


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Review #24, by alanapotter Guilt and Secrets

26th July 2009:
Ah! A cliffie ending! No! ;]

"I know how much your family means to you, especially your sisters" -- Really, I think you mentioned that they were cousins to begin with.

Like I said in the previous, your emotional descriptions and grammar have improved significantly. However, in continuing I would suggest working on setting descriptions and varying up your adjectives a bit. You use a lovely, varied amount of verbs, but I find many of the same adjectives. If you're having trouble, a thesaurus is the best tool... and there are many online!

This is a great plot and you've backed it up with well-written characters. Like I've mentioned before a bit of editing will give it that extra boost to be astounding.

Keep writing! You've got so much potential!
-Jill

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Review #25, by alanapotter Losing the Spark

26th July 2009:
That's so sad! Poor Sparky. I literally started crying. Excellent proof of the improvement of your emotional description :]

"but all that worrying about her brother has all but done her in" -- this is supposed to be Elizabeth speaking, based on the rest of it, but shouldn't this read 'her cousin' instead of brother?

Really, so much improvement! I'll go into this further at the end of the next chapter.

Onward!
-Jill

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