Reading Reviews for Social Pariahs
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Michelle Chapter One: The Mudblood

17th November 2012:
Bellatrix was older than Lily, and so was Narcissa, and Andromeda. Otherwise, nice job. I really like this.

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Review #2, by Faith Chapter One: The Mudblood

9th December 2008:
I really really really adore this
I like the take you took
And just the way you write
Its bubbly, easy to read and believable.
It can also be taken either lightly ((Eg: I repeat Ha.))
Or heavily.
And it just works.

Continue
Pretty please?
x

Author's Response: Awh, thanks , sorry I haven't replied before. I'll try and do some more on it after my exams are over =D

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Review #3, by IloveNeville Chapter One: The Mudblood

25th May 2008:
So good. I really really enjoyed it. I think it's a really good concept you've got going on. I would like to read about either Severus or Remus. They're both interesting characters to me. I think whichever one inspires you right now, you should write about. Definately keeping writing. I really really loved this first chapter. Great, two thumbs up.

IloveNeville.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I know this is ages old, but still =D I'm thinking about doing a Severus chapter soon, but we'll see ;) xx

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Review #4, by eleven49 Chapter One: The Mudblood

22nd May 2008:
Overall, not bad. Most noticably, some technical things: You should definitely break up that last paragraph; there's a lot of info there, and its overwhelming. Also, some of your wording is a little awkward, so you should find a beta who can help you make it flow better.

You should also spin it out a little more, add some details. Say something more about Mary MacDonald. You should also introduce Snape a little better - talk about the two meeting or something - because right now its like he's coming out of nowhere.

Also, make the time change for the dialogue between Bellatrix and Lily more obvious. I'd add an elipsis at the end of the first paragraph to lead into the switch. Then, say - for example - "'What's your name,' she had asked," instead of "she asked".

Great start!

Author's Response: Eeee, I got a review, ty=)
This is really helpful, I'll bear this in mind whilst doing the next chapter, and maybe edit this chapter at some point in time to make it better.
ILY, amazing first reviewer! =D


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