SO GOOD!!! It's so cute! I absolutely LOVED it! Write more!Author's Response: thanks very much! Report Review
Right off the bat, gotta say I love Bill's characterization. His reaction to his daughter's break down is so perfect, the overprotective father type. It makes Victoire seem like a "daddy's girl" and their bond even stronger. It also gives a nice sense of how close each individual family is and that Bill would even confront Teddy and treat him in that way when he's practically family. Shows how much he cares about his daughter.
I'm also glad that Teddy eventually retaliated. It, afterall, was not solely his fault. (Things just got out of hand in their relationship, but they had to go through that to eventually be able to work things out for the better... heh). I like that Teddy defended himself against his father's mistakes.
In the second scene (separated by a line), first sentence, I think you misspell "Louis". Just wanted to point that out, but it's nothing major.
I think the fact that Victoire asked her mom to cut her hair off (and eventually doing it herself) shows how distraught she was. It really added to the drama and the emotional aspect of the story. I also think it managed to make Teddy a wee bit more guilty, don'tcha think? ;)
I totally sympathized with Victoire's break down. I think the way you wrote it made it not seem like she was being overdramatic or a drama queen of sorts. In some stories, I'd roll my eyes at scenes like these because it seems like the main character is just... what's the word... being plain dramatic, I guess. But the way you wrote it made me feel for Victoire rather than shrug her situation away.
Loved that both Teddy and Victoire tried apologizing to each other. Makes it seem like no one is at fault and that they both care so much for each other that they just want to work it out no matter who has to admit fault.
Also loved the revealing of the cut hair. Teddy's reaction was simply heartwarming, that he'd find it beautiful after she chopped it all off. Very sweet.
Teddy changing Victoire's hair color was very creative! I had forgotten that could happen (I think Tonks talked to Harry about this branch of magic in the fifth book, although I'm not sure if I was imagining it... I'll have to check). I like that you added that in! Makes it seem like Teddy has even more of his mother in him.
SO SO SO sweet that Teddy walked with her to the infirmary when she was scared she was pregnant. Really, just so sweet.
Eeek! First kiss. Very much anticipated and very well articulated.
Again, great characterization! Great writing to go along with it, as well!
-Theophaneia (I'm a big fan of long reviews...)Author's Response: Once again, I'm very very happy with your incredibly sweet and complimentary reviews. I'm not entirely happy with this story, but I'm so glad that you are! So thank you very very oh so much again! Report Review
Just read all four chapters and loved every single bit of it! And now it's time for me to go back and review!
Absolutely loved how you started off this chapter. It immediately creates a mood of reminiscence and makes it feel like the story is going to be narrated instead of laid out for the reader. The way you create Teddy's relationship with Victoire (first paragraph) is sweet, incredibly sweet and innocent and I love that aspect to their love.
-With his preferred left hand, Teddy proceeded to remove the pacifier from his mouth and stick it into Victoire's.-
Hilarious. So sweet and so expected of a little child who didn't know better. It definitely makes him seem like an "older brother" type, but, of course, everyone else knows better. ;)
-"LIAR, LIAR, PLANTS FOR HIRE!"
"IT'S PANTS ON FIRE, STUPID!"
"WELL YOU WOULD KNOW, CUZ YOU'RE A LIAR!"-
Totally knew it heard this from somewhere, but couldn't quite place it until I read your author's note. Very fitting for their age and childish personalities at the time, I think!
When Teddy and Victoire made up after that and caught Harry and Ginny in the act of kissing, their reaction was so hilarious. I love the way you keep inserting bits of humorous child-like responses! And them holding hands... SO CUTE!
Completely LOVED the scene at his 15th birthday party with him receiving his father's cloak. It showed true characterization, and I think you did a great job portraying how torn up he should be over being orphaned. His rage was (while haunting) beautiful, especially when Victoire was there to help him through it.
Teddy lost his virginity to someone else. Sniff.
Hated and loved the ending scene at the same time. Loved how they seemed to be taking a different step in their relationship, even if in the wrong way and how Victoire admitted her feelings for him. Hated how emotional it was. :(
All in all, a great chapter. It felt so light and innocent. You did a beautiful job with the characterization for both Teddy and Victoire, as well as for the entire Potter-Weasley clan.
Sorry for the monster of a review!
-TheophaneiaAuthor's Response: This is such a lovely review, never never apologize for these wonderful (and very friendly) monsters! I'm very glad that people are still deriving some positivity from my stories, which have since been forgotten for quite a while. So thank you, thank you so so very much! Report Review
Oh my god, Hagrid made me crack up like crazy! And the whole snogging session was hot. I'm glad Bill is a good daddy =]].
Constants.Author's Response: oh thank you so much!! Report Review
I read this before but didn't review. I just wanted to let you know that your story was one of the first Ted/Victoire's I found. I love them now! Post more sooN!Author's Response: oh thank you so much!! I\\\'m working on the next chapter of Ta Kratky Skoba Osud, and hopefully I\\\'ll be able to finish Obliviate soon too! Report Review
thats so beautiful! so he knocked her up? hmm... LOVE the storyAuthor's Response: no he didn't. They were the LupinS because they got married. Otherwise it would have been signed Teddy and Victoire. Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
I enjoyed this chapter, especially the part where they had the same thought at the same time. The marriage part was good too. Harry's reaction is priceless.
Nicely writtenAuthor's Response: oh thank you so very very much! It always makes me very happy when people enjoy my writing! Report Review
Interesting chapter. I like how the relationship progressed. Nicely written.Author's Response: thanks very much! Report Review
Cutee! I love it! Can't wait for part 3 :]Author's Response: Thanks! I'll update in the next few days! Report Review
She pulled a Britney! That was so funny and sad at the same time. Can't wait for the next chapter.Author's Response: Nah, if she's pulled a Britney she'd be bald. She just thought her long hair was too childish Report Review
Aw! Sweet. Please continue soon. :)
I dunno, I kinda wanna see a ghosty Tonks/Lupin appearance, that could be cos I'm sappy though. heheAuthor's Response: aw, I'm afraid I've already finished the story, and there is no ghostly apparition. Although, if you like that sort of thing, you should go to humongousbighead dot homestead dot comslash shiftsverse dot html without the spaces, of course. VERY GOOD angsty Teddy/ghostly parent scenes. Good enough to make you cry!
I, in the face of just endorsing another fic besides my own, will update soon and hope you will read even while reading that AMAZING fic above! Report Review
A very nice chapter. I could feel the angst of Victorie when she cut off all her hair. I could also see Bill's reaction to the whole situation. Teddy being confused about their relationship is believable, if not unexpected. The "fight" was a bit of a surprise...a good one, but a surprise nonetheless.
Nicely written all in all.Author's Response: Ah, well, the secret to Victoire's angst is actually personal experience, therefore I was able to recount it almost perfectly. Once I went really weird in my room, because I had my hair in a bun and there was a bunch of hair hanging out of it. Suddenly there was hair all over the place and my neck just BURNT from the cold scissors for hours afterward. I wigged out a bit, and thought it would fit Victoire nicely.
I was hoping to surprise people with a fight, I would think that Bill would be pissed off to the extreme if Teddy made his baby girl do that to herself.
Thanks very much for your review! I always appreciate it, and I'll be updating soon!
~KT Report Review
aw!!! I loved this chapter!!! I can just see Bill getting mad!! My dad would be furious if that happened to me! Anyway, great chapter!! I love the last bit with the Newt results and the kiss! Update soon!!!Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'll update soon!!
Still love your username!
~KT Report Review
It was so cute and I can't wait for the next chapter. I really like the parts when they were babys the best though. So cute!Author's Response: yeah I loved writing those parts best too. Babies don't talk, so there's no awkward dialogue! ^^ Report Review
this is really good!!1 just want to know one thing, why has Victoire got a boys name for her middle name "William" ??? Im not saying there is anything against it or any thing!Author's Response: oh, I just couldn't think of a good middle name. Besides, I'm a girl and my middle name is after my great-uncle. I'm glad you liked it!! Report Review
Very interesting so far. I am going to keep an eye on this one.
Nicely writtenAuthor's Response: thank you very much! I look forward to future reviews! Report Review
aww! I feel sooo bad for Victoire! Course, I can understand where Teddy doesn't return the same feelings at first. I love Victoire/Teddy fan fics. This is good. Keep going... I love it. It's becoming one of my faves and I must admit, that takes a lot. The story has to be good to become a favorite of mine since i don't have a lot of spare time to read each and every Victoire/Teddy. So yours made it to my list. Love it. I've heard that line from Spongebob! It was good! I love how you go through their lives giivng little bits and pieces.Author's Response: thanks so much! The events in the timeline will get closer together as the story goes on, I just wanted to have those cute little bits about their early childhood in there before going on to Hogwarts. It's such an honor that you like my story enough to bother reading with it! Thanks so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to help me fulfill my dreams of writing!
P.S. I'm not sure if you meant it to be this way, but I LOVE YOUR USERNAME! One of my favorite musicians is Sara Bareilles (Love Song), and everyone calls her Sara B., so I read your name and made a squealy girly noise. Report Review
There is a good storyline with a lot of potential. Put more details into it. The timeline jumps a bit and is hard to follow. You describe the emotions and rage of these teenagers quite well. Maybe try adding more personal emotion and detail with each event. For instance, when Teddy lost his virginity tell why he threw up. You did really good with this for the scene with Harry. Although, I don't think Harry would have let the anger go and not talk to Teddy. This is a really good story and I can't wait for the next chapters.Author's Response: thanks, I'll keep that in mind and look it over tonight Report Review
I love it! That's so cute! 9/10Author's Response: thanks so very much! Report Review
This story is wicked, I love it. Please update soon. 10/10Author's Response: thanks! I'll update later tonight maybe. It only took me about a week to write all 4 parts, so I wanna leave you hanging a little bit! Report Review
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