I'm not usually a Dramione fan (read = I've never actually READ dramione), but this was sweet :) You did an amazing job writing the battle/action scene, those are hard to write! I love how you make dramione plausible, I can see this happening, it fits with both Hermione's and Draco's characters, as does Ron throwing a punch at the end. I love your representation of Draco, you acknowledge his cowardly side but ultimately have the positive qualities shine through, it's nice to see.
(Slytherin)Author's Response: thanks so much for the lovely review :D Always a nice thing to wake up to :D
*sly* Report Review
Wow! This was a great story! I love how you started it off with Hermione talking to Rose. I like to see plausible Dramione stories, and this was a great one. Seeing Draco kill his dad, ahhh it's just so satisfying, isn't it? And that Dramione kiss! I don't know what it is about those two, but it's so wrong, but so right! It was described nicely. And the Ron punch at the end- EXCELLENT! It was just really well done, I enjoyed this quick little read!
LovlyRita (Slytherin)Author's Response: OMG. you read a Dramione!
*dies of surprise*
Thanks for the review Ash! It means alot that you'd take time to read my story though you don't particularly like dramione stories.
*sly* Report Review
Excuse me, person who thinks its okay to write about the Battle like you do... Teach me? Pretty please ^.^ You have soo much talent !!! *Glares && Hands cookies*
I really like how you portray Malfoy as the nice guy in this, in the majority of stories we read or see that say Herione/Draco, it's always Draco is evil, Draco is the Vilian, yada yada yada, yet you made him the sweet, caring sensitive guy.
I like how you wrote that he was still in no positiion too be his friend ^.^ I thought that was quite good. Even though he was good all along, he still understood where he stood on Hermione's little tree and branches - Friendship and relationship wise - +I think it was really cute that he mouther 'inpedimenta' too her to warn her :P Quite a cute scene in my opinion.
You have a very nice consitient flow, it didn't jump backwards and forwards, it was straight to the point and kept me very intrigued. ^.^ Which is hard too do, cause i'm a fussy reader !! :P
Hermione Dirty? Never :P She's just been laying on the ground for a considerably long time and was tortured the poor thing :D
You can defiently write emotion and scenes that we can see happeneing befor our eyes ^.^
I loved it!!!
10/10 - Cause i'm cool like that ya see ;)
Forum Name: MyMyMiss
House: Slytherin.Author's Response: thanks so much for the wonderful review :D yep, AD was right, you just made me feel super good about my writing :D lol not bad for my first fic ever right? lol
again, thanks so much MMM :D Report Review
What an interesting twist on a somewhat cliched relationship. I love Rose's reaction to her mother kissing Draco Malfoy and Hermione being amused by it all. I like how you described Draco as a coward until the final battle but was kind of confused about him working for the Order?
I always get so excited reading about duels. There's just something about the adrenaline rush that is so fun to read about. I enjoyed that you had Lucius taunting Hermione, especially mentioning how he didn't even have a tear in his robes and he's got her with Sectumsempra and other curses. It makes it more real that they're just children fighting in this war against adults.
I was a little shocked at first that Draco killed Lucius but I guess he didn't have a choice. It was kill or be killed and he chose to live. Then the kiss at the end and poor Draco being punched out by Ron. I'm glad it didn't turn out into a full-out Dramione romance and Hermione still ended up with Ron. But it was nice of her to show some compassion to the boy who had tormented her growing up. Showed that they were both mature and growing up. Nice job for a first story. :)
forsakenphoenix (ravenclaw)Author's Response: thanks so much! :D I'm glad you liked it :D Report Review
hey there SG!!
Wow, this was such a nice little one-shot. I liked reading it.
Rose's reaction was funny, LOL.
Poor Draco though getting punched by Ron.
I like your writing style I must say. This is the first time that I'm reading one of your fics and it is quite good. The plot idea was superb!
And I loved the fact that it was a memory that Hermione cherished so much. So sweet and nice.
Overall, a very good story and quite interesting too.
End of An Era review extravaganza: house cup 2011
Forum name: AditiDraco95
House: SlytherinAuthor's Response: thanks so much for the review! If you think this one was good (being my first fic) you should definately check out "How to Watch Your Soul Die (And Not Care)" my WIP... i have to say i'm quite proud of it :D Report Review
I liked this twist on the usual Dramione, and I loved the ending, with Ron hitting Draco for taking his girl. I was a little confused in the beginning, though. Hermione said that Draco was working for the Order all along, but then she implied that he was a coward until the final battle. Like with Snape, it would definitely take courage to work for the Order when you are expected to be a Death Eater. I think what you might have meant to imply is that Draco wasn't a Death Eater because he believed in the side of good.
I loved your characterization of Hermione and Rose, and I liked how you did Lucius as well, especially with that line about there being no tears in his robes. Great job! :)
academica (Slytherin)Author's Response: thanks :D
not bad for my first fic eh? lol its totally full of holes that need fixin, but i figure i'll leave it as is for nostalgia purposes :D Report Review
i like it. kinda want to know if rose ever talks to draco about it i think that would be funny tooAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review!
I had a companion piece written for this but it went nowhere, so I thought that I would just leave it as a stand-alone moment.
Maybe one day the muse will return ;)
~*~Sly~*~ Report Review
First off, it's so cool you made Draco the new DADA Professor. I've never seen that career choice for him and I find it pretty neat. This was a nice AU spin, it was well plotted and carried out with a tad of humor despite the heavy content. Good job. :) --JennaAuthor's Response: thanks! It wasn't bad for my first fic huh? lol :D
thanks for the review dear! Report Review
Ignoring that you twisted the story and have Draco as a non-coward. Ignoring that it was impossible for him to disarm Ron when he had his wand on his neck. Ignoring that Hermione after kissing Ron in the heat of the battle after years of longing had no trouble to do the same for someone she hated until then. Ignoring all that, your story is still lame. I know it sounds like a flame, but it's the truth. Sorry...
But at least I found this line “It was the first time he really didn’t run away from something. I remember it like it happened this morning.” from Hermione as an attempt from you to point out the irony from the books when he did run away like a coward. I know you wrote it on purpose and I liked that.Author's Response: Thanks for the review...
I thought I should explain that its supposed to be AU... In my version, the Draco before this moment is very different from the Draco we know...
Also, the story was written about 5-6 years ago (the reason its in the recent stories pile is because I took out the really lame prologue)
But thanks for taking the time to review even if it wasn't your cup of tea
~~Sly~~ Report Review
I like this little story very much! I'll be looking for more of your work!Author's Response: Thank you!!
Might I suggest checking out "How to Lose Your Soul (And Not Care)"
Its only a prologue right now, but i'm hoping to make it into a really awesome dark chaptered fic :D Report Review
Interesting! ;) But could have used more to the ending. Like Rose and Hermione talking about perhaps Draco's son ;)Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Actually it used to have a small epilogue but after re-reading it (because the story was originally posted in '07) i decided that the one that was there was really really cheezy and the story was alright without it...
I'm thinking of writing a companion piece to this story but right now its just an idea and hasnt been planned out at all.
Again, thanks for reading!!!
~~Sly~~ Report Review
LOL what utter garbage. So Draco, who up to the last minute was trying to deliver Harry to Voldemort, who stood by and did nothing while Bellatrix cruciod Hermione to near death, who himself tried to use crucio on Harry, would all of a sudden kill his own father to show that he's a good guy and in love with a girl he tormented for 6 years?!
Ahahahahahahahaha!!!Author's Response: This is why we call it fan-FICTION... I never pretended that i was writing in cannon. I tried to keep things close, but in the world i was creating for them.
While yes, in cannon Draco would never be with Hermione, I like to think of "what-if" scenarios and this was one of the ones i came up with. I wrote this in 2006 and finally posted it in 2007. I recently edited it for spelling/grammar
But thanks for the review anyway even if you didnt say anything that cannon didnt already tell us Report Review
100% pure nonsenses! What a waste of time!Author's Response: thanks for your imput but maybe next time, if you don't like something you read you could maturely explain why you didnt like it instead of dismising it as a "waste of time" as you so nicely put it
ps, i wrote this in 2007, i just updated some of the spelling/grammar errors Report Review
hehe this is adorable. I love how its not just some flashback that hermione is only remembering and rose has to listen. Never in a million years would i have thought to put a memory in a pensive to show a daughter! I really enjoyed this because yes i am a fan of Draco/hermione ship but i also enjoy it being in cannon as in her and Ron staying together. I believed much of what was wrote, i could imagine draco doing this all.
The flow and pacing of your story was truly remarkable it flowed perfectly right from present day to memory and the word choice seemed just descriptive enough! :) you characterization was spot on also, especially with ron he is one that i have a terrible time trying to write and finding a good portrayal of hiim. All in all congrats on this story. :)Author's Response: thanks so much :D of all the characters i've written, ron has to be top three hardest to nail to canon... besides him are luna, dumbles, percy, and cho... ew cho... haha
but thanks so much for that great review... seeing as this was one of my first stories, it really made my day :D
~~sly~~ Report Review
Draco DADA teacher, nice twist.
I think the "20 years ago." is a bit too blunt but it doesn't disrupt the flow completely.
The ending was really sweet though, Rose's realisation that her and Scorp would be accepted by their parents. At least that is what I got from it.
Ginny45/RandomRed xxxAuthor's Response: thanks for the review :D Report Review
OMG! This is wonderful! I love love love it! Seriously, I can't describe how much I like it.
Keep writing!Author's Response: thanks sooo much :D I had so much fun writing it Report Review
I truly enjoyed reading this, it was great
Keep up the lovely writing =]
spam_up_samAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! it was really fun to write :D Hopefully I'll get out more soon. Report Review
it is so great to have re-read this during the 2010 April prank... great cleanup Admins!!! :D hahahAuthor's Response: yes, yes it was Report Review
Awww how sweet. I really did love the whole flashback scene. You did a great job!
:DaniAuthor's Response: Thanks so much it was really fun to write :D Report Review
I think this is a very good start. I really liked the structure of the one-shot. The story as a memory encased by a parent-child conversation. Also I really liked the idea 'plot' of the story. How Draco was really a good-guy who was defending Hermione, even if no one knew it. Cute.
If I might make a suggestion, or two... I think you'd do better with some solid description, and a bit more focus on the story. Instead of describing what was going on elsewhere, focus solely on what was going on between Hermione and Lucius. After all, it is her memory. Focus on the kind of details Hermione might have noticed. Focus on her fear and pain. But go into detail, and really set the mood. Insert some terror into this, so it feels like a memory and not a simple historical summary of the events.
Secondly, use some description to slip into the past and back out. Instead of dividing the story and stating. '20years earlier' try to describe Rose and her mother falling into the pensieve, how Rose felt as she was suddenly injected into (was it the final battle for Hogwarts?) a battle. Describe how Rose leaves. It will provide a better fluidity to your story.
I might also add a little incredulity to the bit where Hermione was face to face with Draco and he was offering her a way out.
Basicaly, I think it's a good one shot that would do better if it was rounded/filled out.
GailAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the great response!!! Your criticism will definately be taken into account on future fics !! :D
-SG Report Review
Random.Thoughts on the boards. Forgot password and too lazy to retrieve it. Anyways, happy late Christmas Secret Santa here is a review for you!
I actually have already read this in the past, or at least I think I have. I think it was one of the reviews lost during the major thing beforehand. But I'll review it again.
First, I wanted to point out this line because it was really good. "catching flies with her jaw wide open." I'm not sure why, but it completely stood out to me. :)
Next, I think you did a great job characterizing Lucius Malfoy. The lines he said really felt as if he was saying them. You could imagine him talking about how weak she was and how she hadn't done anything to his clothing.
Also, I feel like you could have done a little more details. Describing the battle scene can really help the readers believe in it more, not just the action. Although the action was good as well.
All in all, it was really good. It seems near the end that you might be building up to a Rose/Scopius thing? Or was that just for the one shot?
See you around!
ChloeAuthor's Response: Thanks so much for the review and happy holidays to yourself (sorry about the password thing hehe)
I actually do have a R/S fic in the works, and originally, these were separate stories, but after reading all the reviews i've recieved (which instead of the 8 it was, is now down to 5) i'm thinking maybe of refurbishing the R/S fic to enclude this little diddy... it could work now that i think about it.
Anywayz, thanks again for the review!! see you around the forums! Report Review
I lurve it. You have an excellent writing style. It would be amazing if you continued with this by doing a Rose/Scorpius story. That would be flippin' amazing.
10/10Author's Response: i do have another one comin, it just takes forever to put it from writing to the computer;D but thanks so much for the review Report Review
def need to write more! PLEEASE?Author's Response: i actually have a story in mind to start putting up as soon as my intersession class is over, hopefully. It's a Rose/Scorpius and Hermione/Draco fic.... so if i get a chance to put it up, make sure to look for that one :D Thanks so much!! Report Review
Good story for your first one-shot online story. You should write some more linked to Rose and Scorpius or something. Well done!Author's Response: thanks! thats actually my first one shot >_< and i do actually have one about rose started... i dunno when i'll be able to get it online, but when i get time,for sure this is the place i'll put it!! :D thanks again! Report Review
I think it's really cuteAuthor's Response: thank you :D Report Review
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