WOW i loved it! allmost made me cry though. :) Report Review
oh gosh that was so sad i cried so much when i read it
that was really beautifully writtenAuthor's Response: well, in a twisted way that makes me feel good about my writing, I am glad it made you cry =D
and thank you very much ^_^ Report Review
*Sniffle* That is such a touching story! Great job! *Sniffle*
10/10Author's Response: I'm glad you like it!
and YAY! I got a 100%, haha Report Review
Hey, this is realize from the forum. Here is your review.
The beginning really sucked me in, it was really well written, and the images were lovely. Having it in Draco’s POV was nice it was a change. However, you need to be carefully with the spelling there are several mistakes in the second paragraph. The song fit in nicely. You made us understand the love between them was real, it was great. I was overwhelmed with the emotions, they were written really well. I felt so bad for Hermione, but worse for Draco, because he is losing her. Cancer is hard, but I like that you wrote something about it. I really feel like you knew what cancer does to the people around you. To be honest I do not think that harry would have had a problem with Hermione marrying Draco.
I think it would have been Ron, so maybe you should change it considering Hermione and Ginny are tight, and if Hermione told Ginny what he did then he would have problems with Ginny. I liked the fact that there were several flashbacks, to show how much they cared about each other. I really liked the fact that in the end there was no miracle cure, and that she did die. It shows that in the real world sometimes we cannot always cure those we love. It was really well written. I think that a sequel of the life for the kids would be really good. I really liked that Draco would do anything for her, that was just pure, and it meant a lot.
End Note: Okay there is still some work that can be done on this story. I suggest getting a beta and taking the time to really look over your story yourself. I would give this story as of today a 9.5/10. Highest so far.
~Caroline~Author's Response: Wow, I'm glad you liked it =) And me + spelling = bad combination, haha. In my more recent stories, I have been catching more mistakes because I use safari now on top of word. But I'm glad you felt sucked in/the emotions were portrayed good!!
I guess the Harry thing is more a of person thing =P I always saw Harry more as the one who would be there as a brother figure and the fact that her and Ronald had been together in the past [even though I didn't mention it] influenced it slightly. Also, Ronald would probably kill Draco =P That would have ruined my story!
And I'll consider doing a sequel! I'm actually right in the middle of doing a story that I'm liking to write the more I write for it!! But that would be an interesting story =) I'd have to get another song of course, haha.
And wow!! thanks for the rating =) I'm glad and surprised that it's your highest so far!! =)
Thank you soooo much for doing this for me!!!
hi this is Ariana form the forums.
Okay for a start you link didn't work so just a reminder to check that it does, i found youtr story through the search engine though.
Okay your grammar is good, you have afew run on sentences and places where semicolms should bee used instead of commas but if you scan over it again i am sure you will find them
This was the only mistake i had outrightly found "dieing" it think correctly is actually "dying"
"Knowing that she is slowing dieing on the inside"
other than that it is brilliant i loved the bit where Hermione is arguing for her marrige with Harry the clash of her determination and his denial was very well played out.
i also like how you devoted a whole paragraph to the words "she was dead." it think iot is a very simply and sad statement that alone holds a lot of power meaning to aperson.
i also found that it was very good of you to add in the childrens confusion, although they are not majorly focused on in this one shot they also went through a loss abd i think you might have played on that i little more.
cancer is very sensitive to write about and reading it is very emotional if you know someone who had it or died from it but you did well, it is emotional enough to raise feelings and sympathy but written well enough not to hurt or offend someone. That is a great asset to your writing.
Steph @0o0@Author's Response: Sorry about that!! I went back and looked and it did double http's or something. No idea what happened.
haha, thank you! Grammar is by far my worse subject on earth. I pretty much failed the chunk test on it this year. And I'll be sure to change that word! Thanks for pointing it out!
wow. I don't know what to say =) I'm glad you liked it though! =) I've actually had two friends die from cancer and my mother had breast cancer, so it was definitely a subject I could relate to. Though I was only ten when my mom had it, it wasn't that hard to transform the emotions to be a little more serious.
Next time I write something similar to this, whether it be here or in my own story or something, I'll be sure to focus on the children's own confusion. It'll be something I'm sure to focus on next time.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your life to do this for me =) It helps me to have some one critique some of my stuff =D
Thanks again!! Report Review
Aw! I'm about to cry. Seriously. It was really beautiful. Great job.Author's Response: thank you! This was definitely one of the stories that I really loved to write =) Rereading it the other day, I made myself cry! Report Review
you made me cry. gwad. anyhoo good job.Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it so much!! Report Review
hah, imagine you made me cry! nobody does that and even from a computer monitor. .haha. great, superb story. you have such great talentAuthor's Response: wow. thanks!! =) I'm still surprised every time someone tells me they cried! Report Review
Wow. You have no idea how beautiful this story is. We just buried a close friend on Friday, who spent two years fighting lung cancer. Your story was exactly how we watched her and her husband.
I could picture Draco at the funeral with his children, just as I`d watched my friend with his son. You wrote this so perfectly, I loved the emotions you portrayed. What an excellent job, thank you!Author's Response: I'm so sorry for your loss. I can sympathize with losing someone from cancer, although my friend died from leukemia (it was quite a while ago). I hope everything works out for him and his child.
I'm so glad that you were able to picture it though =) It was hard to write that scene - I have a thing about funerals. I just do not like them. Any scene with a funeral is a challenge for me. I've been to too many. It's why I never describe the casket...
But I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and you're very welcome. Again, I hope everything works out for your friends' family!! Report Review
*crying* Amazing absolutley amazing...the story is just so.so. awsome...i really loved it and . i dont know what to say im so overwelmed by it i just loved it...
you did such a great work on it .
i can just say 100 point out of 10 points
that is how much i loved it :D
take careAuthor's Response: I'm so glad you loved it!! I was really proud of it =) I had piddled with writing everything for a while, but this was the first thing I was enjoying/sad to write at the same time.
Yay! I get super points!!
haha, thank you so much for the review!! Report Review
omgoodness...this brought tears to my eyes...and if i allowed it, i'm sure i would've started crying...
theres only one word - tragic...it broke my heart to read it and i wanted to stop many times after realising what was going to happen...you have a beautiful way with words...so i could'nt stop...
wow ur really talented =] terribly beautiful
even though she died, at least he has his babies =D
ginaxxooAuthor's Response: Thank you!! I don't know if I've ever gotten that many compliments in one review, haha. I'm so glad it brought tears, just because that means I wrote it right =D and yes, at least he has some memory of her. And thank you so much for reading and leaving a review!!!
There are no words to describe the feelings I got when I was reading this.Made me cry...
Beautiful:)Author's Response: I'm so glad that it left you speechless =)
and as odd as it is, that i made you cry!
I was getting teary-eyed at the end just to write it. Report Review
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