Wow, I'm surprised that it's been a while since I have read this story, and I'm getting close to 900 hundred reviews of my own at HPFF... I'm at 895 now, but I remember what happened in this story. Surprising, my memory was that clear.
Anyway, this was so good. I really really love all your characterizations. Cal is most likely one of my favorites and she's just so cool. You did a great job with this chapter. I can't wait to see what happens and I hope that Cal's okay.Author's Response: Wow. It's great that you still remembered though xD
Thanks. I try to work on the characterisations since this story is mostly plot-centric and it may not 'delve' into a character (or characters) as most people would like it too.
Thank you for the review! :D Report Review
OH! Finally, now I understand what's up with Cal. It all makes sense now. I had a hunch that it would be something like that. And I KNEW that Cal's family was dark, and not like night, if you know what I mean. you could just tell. So, did she always have a bad relationship with Sirius, or were they dating before? Or, did you not explain that yet, and we're going to find out?
The last paragraph was so beautifully worded. I love the last line. Wen Sirius says the only thing they can do is be Cal's friend. Right now, that's really the only thing they can do. But I hope that Cal finds out what the potion's doing and the stops taking it. that has to happen eventually, right?
I really don't like Cauis now. IS he in on the plan with Cal's family about making her forget Sirius. If he is, I hate him. He can go crawl under a rock, for I care.
I loved the beginning. When Cal and Sirius were together. I can imagine them together, snogging. Though in your story, you'd probably describe it more graceful! :)
I loved the part when Remus was saying something along the lines of now Cal thinks we're loonies.
Well, great chapter! I love it. Your characters are awesome, (though you probably already know that) and I hope that Cal regains her true memory and stops living a lie!Author's Response: Before everything else, thank you for coming back to review!
For your first two questions ("So, did she always have a bad relationship with Sirius, or were they dating before?"), chapters 9 and 7, respectively, have flashbacks may be of help :D
I'm glad you liked the last paragraph! It was one of the parts I had the most difficulty in writing. As for the thing about Cal finding out. Well, let's just say the truth doesn't always set you free.
But I can clarify this Caius business! If you remember, earlier on in the story, he asks Severus who Cal previously dated. That more or less suggests he didn't know about Sirius. If he knows about other things, I guess we'll find out with him xD
Oh, lol. If there was no memory-loss thing, they definitely would be snogging! Speaking of snogging, there will be some in the next chapter.
My beta liked that line too! And I just love Remus.
Thank you, thank you for your wonderful review! Seriously! It totally made my day :D And to give a less cryptic clue in this review, this story will have 20-22 chapters. We're almost half-way there! And thanks again! Report Review
update! quick! it was a good chapter!Author's Response: i'll try to update as soon as possible. thanks for the review. :) Report Review
Oh, I love this chapter. Are Cal and Caius gonna date? Or will Sirius get Cal! Only you know. Do you? And Cal seems to be remembering thins that seem important. How will think tie into the story. Well, I love Cal, and her character. I can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: Again, I can't answer your questions but they're appreciated! xD And yes, I do know what happens, haha. I'll try to update as soon as possible! Thanks for the review! :) Report Review
this story is amazing! its such an interesting plot and ive never read anything like it update soon plz! i rly love this story 10/10Author's Response: thank you! that's really nice to hear. :) chapter 11 has already been written and needs only to be proofread by my beta. thank you for the wonderful rating! Report Review
Great chapter.I really like Cal. She's so sarcastic and funny. And I can't wait for real Sirius and Cal action. I know that's gonna happen. Am I right!? I'm not really clear on Cal's disease or whatever she has. Does she lose her memory or something. But wait, she doesn't really have a disease,does she. Her parents probably make her take that so she forgets something,right? I don't know if that's rihgt, but maybe it is! Well, please update this wonderful story so I can read it because I definitely can't wait and I'm sure others can't!Author's Response: Well, I'm not sure about the Sirius/Cal action. I can't promise anything! :P And you do know I can't really give anything away and answer your questions either, lol. The confirmation you need will be in the 11th chapter, not the next, I'm afraid. Still, the 10th chapter is pretty nice if I do say so myself. Updating now. xD
Many thanks for the review! Report Review
HI, Sorry i'm really clenched for time and feel awful about delaying my reviews any more than a day. But school and real life catch up with me. I have mountains of homework. jaja and i hate that.
Anyway, i didn't see anything glaring. I thought this was another good chapter
hope you're not mad at how short my review is!Author's Response: oh, i'm not mad. not at all. :D thank you for taking the time to read the chapter though ! i know what you mean about the school and real life thing so i really appreciate the review. thanks again ! Report Review
i loved how Cal tried to set Lily up with James. Excellent, you including some Lily and James in there for some lily and james shippers like myself
i was a little confused about why she takes her medication. And she fell off a horse? aww poor girl
nicely done. I liked this chapter too
you cleared up something sthat were confusing in previous ones but in this one i'm confused about her medication
nicely done. i liked itAuthor's Response: Haha, glad you liked that. :) I'm a James and Lily shipper too but I'm mostly a Sirius fan, so I was glad to be able to include some of that there. There'll be J/L action (but not a lot) in the next chapter, which is the ball. Can't wait.
And well... the way I explained her medication is similar to the way her illness was explained to her. Anyway, not giving off anything explicit here. XD
I'm glad you still liked the chapter!
Thank you so much for your reviews! I really appreciate insights like yours! It's great to hear what a reader personally thinks. :D I don't think I can thank you enough! *hugs* Report Review
your description in this chapter was excellent.
I really do like the part at the end where Sirius and Calyxandra are coming together. It was beautiful and written clearly. Yay
this story is def. my new favorite of your story. I love having them together.
i think the only thing is the one sentence you had in all capitals. you didn't need it to really all be in captials. we know that she is screaming and yelling. i think that line was too dramatic
other than that excellently well done. please request whenever you update
remember the only way you can improve is by writting moreAuthor's Response: Thank you! This is my favourite chapter. I really love the scene near the end and I wish what I see in my mind could be turned into a movie so you guys can see how touching that scene is. Words can't do Sirius and Cal any justice! XD
And wow. Thanks (again)! I'm thrilled to have Gone as one of your favourites!
Ah, that, yes. Sorry. Will edit that out after I finish responding to your reviews. *sheepish grin*
Wow. Thank you, thank you, thank you! :D Yes, I've already written up to the 14th chapter so... expect more to come! Report Review
I loved how you let us learn a little bit more information! Yay! That was great. Now we know what happened, and it is a heck of a lot clearer for us. I really do like the tone of writing you have, it is sorta mysterious and beautiful.
I liked your descriptions and thought that this chapter was again, very well done.
I can see improvement and I think that you could work on adding more Sirius to the story! Thatís who I want to see the most. Also I would love more on the other marauders like Peter and Remus.
Nicely done again
i loved the flashback.
and there was one part where you were talking about a we. Like they were tired about some boy and i was a bit confused about who was we. other than that excellentAuthor's Response: :) I knew if I held out details any longer, I wouldn't live for very long. Lol. I hope the wait for (some of) the answers wasn't too long for you. And wow, thanks! I'm thrilled you liked the tone. It's much different from the tone in the first few chapters, isn't it? I'll be working on that.
And well, yes, there will definitely be more of Sirius! XD But the other guys on the -- how do I put it? -- green side of the spectrum will be playing a role in the story too, though that will come much later.
Oh, that part. Celtheric was referring to himself and his family when he said "we." Hope that cleared things up. :)
Thanks for the wonderful review(s)! Report Review
Way to leave me on a cliff hanger. Excellent job, I was pretty angry that I was left on a cliff. Just kidding. I liked this chapter.
I really like your OCís they are very interesting however I would love to learn more about others.
This chapter was intense, and very good.
The thing is, I really would love some more time with other characters other than Cal. I would love to have more Lily and James and some Sirius. I would love the get in their minds a bit more, the story would be so much more interesting then. Good jobAuthor's Response: I know, I know, I hate cliffhangers too. :( I didn't plan on writing a cliffhanger at first, but then it became too long and the flow would be cut awkwardly. I'm glad you still liked the chapter despite the horrible end though.
Yes, I kind of see how this whole story is Cal-centric but the other characters will also come in later. :)
Thank you for the review! Report Review
Oh so I really did enjoy this chapter, it was overall my favorite one.
I really liked the flying lesson. Very cute.
I really have nothing to suggest to you, except that I suggest you try to advance lily and Jamesí relationship a little bit more
I really liked it!Author's Response: Wow, thanks. :) I think I have a penchant for writing these kinds of scenes, if I do say so myself. I'm not really a romantic, but scenes like these somehow manage to squirm their way into my fics. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it though!
And about J/L... Well, to be honest, I don't think there would be much visible action between them to satisfy a J/L shipper, but I'll try my best to pay homage to James and Lily. :)
Thanks a lot for the review! Report Review
I really want to know what has happened between Sirius and Cal. Itís basically killing me right now.
I really liked this chapter, once again it was excellently done.
I happened to scan over the other reviews left for this chapter after I read it and I must say one thing. I really think you need to work on the emotional level of this story as it has been suggested to you. It just seems very flat, no one is really showing enough emotion.
In order to make a story work, the emotion has to be there. Thatís my advice for this chapter.
I did like the dialogue in this chapter though. I like Calís character, sheís very interesting to me.
Nicely doneAuthor's Response: Before I continue, I'd just like to warn you that it's past midnight here, so I may not exactly be 100% coherent. XD
Anyway, sorry for the terrible suspense. That's why "mystery" is one of its genres. Lol. These first three chapters were the first scenes I clearly envisioned for this fic. :)
As for the emotional level, yes, I agree. I admit I wrote these first few chapters hurriedly (and originally they were all in one word document) so there are some stuff I could work on. I come back to it now and then though, so eventually I'll have this chapter's emotional level up to par! (Don't know how long that'll take though lol)
Thank you for the review! :D Report Review
So I was a little bit confused with the dialogue in the beginning, you might want to clear that up.
Cal, just seems different to me, it seems like something is up with her.
So I liked this chapter, and you made me feel bad for Sirius because I know that itís obvious he likes her. Poor Sirius.
Nicely done, sorry my review is so short.Author's Response: Well, the dialogue between Cal and Caius is meant to be confusing, so I'll take that as a good thing? Lol.
I'm glad you noticed that. Something IS up with her. :P I'm glad you were able to sympathise with Sirius too. I've edited it a few times just to get Sirius the way I wanted.
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked the chapter. And the length is no problem at all! Report Review
Hey, firstly, Iím sorry my review has taken so long to review your story. You requested a while ago and I tried doing the shorter ones first so then I could pay more attention to the longer ones. Therefore I am planning to read your whole story tonight and review each chapter if I can :D. I hope you arenít too disappointed with me.
Alright~ The review
I really liked the descriptions that the first paragraph had. They were beautiful and very captivating.
I love the name of the Cal, itís very pretty! :D
I enjoyed how you introduced your characters, and it was very interesting. However I think you need to introduce them a bit more. Go into more detail about the more mainer characters then we can have a little bit more information and knowledge of them
But the main thing i enjoyed was the descriptions of the scenery. That was very nicely done.
Other than that, very good job
8.5/9 out of ten
~RachelAuthor's Response: Hello! Firstly, I'm even more sorry that my response has taken forever and a day! It started as a little "Oh, I'm too tired to go to HPFF today--maybe tomorrow" and then four weeks or so later, I still haven't logged on. o_O So again, I'm so so very sorry. I hope YOU aren't disappointed with ME.
Now onto the response proper. I'm glad you liked the descriptions! :) Not many people seem too, and I do admit that they're my weak spot in this fic, but at least I got a few things right, lol. I'm glad you like her name too! I know how the names of OCs can be important.
And I understand what you mean about introducing them a bit more, particularly Cal, I think. It's what I've been planning to work on, and I think I'll be able to do so when I've stopped procrastinating. :P
Thank you for that wonderful rating! Glad you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for the review!
Awsome story! Keep it up!Author's Response: Thank you! I'll try. :) I'm actually excited about posting the rest of the chapters because so many things happen! Thank you for the review. :) Report Review
Thanks for clearing some stuff up for me. I think Sirius is cute in this chapter - all worried about Cal and set on finding a way to help her. I think she's got a tumor, yes? That makes sense to me the way you were describing it. I seriously hope that the potion she's taking is helping her and not hurting her, but it seems that it's not helping her at all! Another fantabulous chapter!
-momoeAuthor's Response: You're welcome! I'm eager to post the next two chapters now. :D And well... They say it's a tumour. That's all I'm saying about it. [cue evil laughter -- kidding] The tenth chapter will be able to say so much more. Thank you for the review! I really appreciate your opinions. :) Report Review
RAWR. What is up with Calyxandra? Why does she forget things? And what the bloody hell is in that decanter? *sighs* I really liked how you had that little moment with Sirius and Calyxandra. It was very, very nice. Sweet.Author's Response: Ah, well, that's what the eighth chapter is for. :D It'll be up by the end of this week so hopefully everything will be cleared up and we can move to the real action (if there is any o_O). And I'm glad you liked their little moment. I really like it, if I do say so myself. It appeals to my Sirius/OC fangirlishness (though I swear I didn't write that because I imagined myself in Cal's position). I tried to make it as un-cheesy as possible though.
*cheers* You won't believe how grateful I am for your reviews. Thank you, thank you! Your insights are very much appreciated, and will be considered when I am writing. Thanks again! :D Report Review
YES! Finally! We've finally started to learn what has happened! Excellent. I knew Sirius was still way too in love with Calyxandra for him to acually cheat on her. And, I think the flash back was used very effectively. It gave me a really good insight into the past... without coming off cheesy or melodramatic. Good job. :)Author's Response: Wow. XD I felt like I kept what really happened a secret for too long. (Did I?) Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. And hmm, the thought of having a cheesy or melodramatic insight to the past hasn't really crossed my mind. I wonder what that would be like... *stares off into space to think* Er, anyway. Thank you! Report Review
Oh god. Talk about action. And talk about a HUGE cliff hanger. ANYWAY, moving right along to the review. I think the main thing that you can work on is having more 'one on one' moments with the other characters. We did get to read the lovely one with Calyxandra and Caius... but that was kind of it. I'd really like to get into the minds of Sirius more... and Severus. He just kind of dissappeared...Author's Response: This was the first major cliffhanger I'd ever written. I didn't intend to have a cliffhanger at first, but I decided things were better off that way. As for those one-on-one moments... Yes, I think you're right. The eighth chapter will have a sufficient amount of that, I think. Cal/Lily, Lily/Marauders, and Marauders/Marauders moments. :) About Severus... Well, he's not exactly crucial to this story, but I'm establishing his role in it because he'll be playing a much bigger role in the sequel (yes, there's a sequel...). Report Review
AWW! That was SO sweet. I loved the Calyxandra and Caius, 'learning to be a better flyer' lesson. I was practically squirming in my seat because they were just... ARGH. It's so hard to explain. The sexual tension was obvious between the two, and I really liked it. :)Author's Response: I think I know what you mean. XD It was hard for me to write that scene because I was squirming too. Having the whole scene in my head makes their awkwardness ten times more potent, lol. And I'm glad you were able to notice the tension part. It paves the way for other events to be possible. :) Report Review
Right, so it's really kind of driving me crazy right now. WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN SIRIUS AND CALYXANDRA?? *sighs* But I guess that'll have to wait. And, you are a fabulous writer for making me feel this way, because I really want to know what happened with Sirius and Calyxandra. I mean, I know Calyxandra saw Sirius with someone else... but I'd really like to know the full story. And the Caius's little flashback was sweet. I'm really looking forward to what will happen with him and Calyxandra.
My only suggestion for your story so far is that everything seems to be happening on one level emotionally. No one really gets angry... no one is really extremely happy about anything... That kind of thing. Maybe I'm only saying this because I'm the kind of author who uses 'the extremes' a lot, but right now everyone seems okay. You don't have to listen to me, but it's just a little observation. Other than that, I thought the chapter was great. :)Author's Response: XD Yep, sorry, you'll have to wait for the answer to that. Thank you, thank you for your kind words! It's a huge spirit-lifter. I really like this story, not because I think I wrote it well (bah, you reviewers have witnessed my typos, grammar errors and pitiful attempts at description), but because I'd really like to share the whole story.
As for the emotions... Hmm. I never really thought of that before. Thanks for bringing it up! I guess I just had this sequence of events in mind, and I wrote the characters based on how they would react to the said events. Although I had this part where Sirius punched a wall, I deleted it for reasons I can no longer remember. I'll try to keep that in mind for the future chapters though! :) I'm glad you liked this chapter! Report Review
Hi again. :) So... I don't know. I like Calyxandra... but there's just something about her that makes her not... right. But I think that's kind of the vibe you're going for, right? Like, she's there... but she's really not... Yeah, sorry if that didn't make anysense. Just ignore that comment. Yes, so, I really liked the Calyxandra/Caius action going on. There is obviously something between them, and I liked it.
Overall, I really can't think of anything to REALLY say that might help you. It's kind of weird, because when I'm reading your work, it doesn't feel like I'm reading. I feel kind of like I'm watching Sirius, Calxyandra, Caius... and everyone else while slightly dazed. ARGH. Okay. Basically, what I am trying to say, that your story is very nice and I enjoy reading it. Good job.Author's Response: Don't worry, it made sense. XD The first few chapters are just a little shell of the whole story. It's like when you dip your toe into the water (ocean, sea, etc) to see how warm or cold it is. Something like that. :)
I'm glad you like the story so far despite of the minor issues it has. I hope your being "slightly dazed" was a good thing? :D Lol. But yay, I'm glad you enjoy reading it! Report Review
Hiya! I've come with the review you have requested. :)
Alrightie... This chapter was of the 'introducing all of the characters' kind. Most of the time if authors do that, I kind of get bored and don't bother reading the story... but yours was kind of different. I liked how you took the time to introduce everyone. I've went through a 'Sirius/OC' phase a while back, so I've pretty much read EVERYTHING, and I think 'gone' is moving along nicely. It's a bit different. And I love the name Calyxandra, by the way. :)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you didn't get bored or anything. :) And I know what you mean by having read pretty much everything. I went through the same phase too, but it seems like I haven't gotten over mine yet... *eyes her three Sirius/OC fics* I'm glad you think it's different though. And thanks! It's hard to find a nice and unique OC name nowadays. Report Review
I love the interaction between Sirius and Cal in this chapter. Itís so sweet at the end! But now Iím wondering what happened to Cal. Did they put a memory charm on her? And why doesnít she remember getting beat for dating Sirius? A memory charm for that too? Too many memory charms causing brain damage? Gah! Now Iím just reachingÖ
-momoeAuthor's Response: Yes, this is one of my favourite chapters. :D As for your questions, you weren't really expecting me to answer them, were you? Lol XD Don't worry! Your questions will be answered (hopefully) by the next chapter, which I'm posting by the end of this week.
Thank you, thank you for your reviews! You have no idea how much they've lifted my spirit. :) I'm very grateful for your enthusiasm! Report Review
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