Ah, I love this. All of your stories are good, you know. I really laughed on this last chapter. I shall eagerly await further installments!Author's Response: Thank you for your review! Glad I could make someone laugh, because that is exactly what makes me want to write :) Report Review
“For starters, like shoving this blessed thing right up Moony’s arsehole!”
Oh my gosh. I love how horrible Sirius is in this chapter. It's downright wonderful! “Don’t talk about me like I’m not right here in the room, Remus.”
And there's so much sexual tension in this story, already. I bow down to your greatness!
The gayness is amazing, by the way. Gosh, I still love this story.Author's Response: I am sorry it's taken forever to respond, lots of things swirling around, but thank you for liking this so much. Glad that you liked it, and the tension I was driving for...yay...somebody got it!! Thanks hun ;) Report Review
Aw, dear :}
You're so sweet! Sorry I haven't been around lately! Great chappie, and boy did I catch what you snuck in this chapter. :PAuthor's Response: Hey you! Glad you did come by and catch that, I just couldn't resist. I have missed you, and you need to post more soon! Thanks for the review :) Report Review
This is actually really interesting
I cant wait to see where it goes! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm not sure where I'm taking it, but I will try to keep it interesting and fresh if I can ;) Report Review
:D I'm really enjoying this story so far, great dialogue and characterisation. Can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! Really glad you're liking it, and I'm hoping to have a new chapter to post very soon. I'm about half way through, but your review has inspired me! thanks again :) Report Review
How did I not start reading this story before. I thought I had, but after reading it I find myself extremely wrong. Details are amazing and I love the playful banter between Sirius, Remus, and Alison. So far you have doing a lovely job. It is nice to have a story about Sirius while he was in hiding. You don't find many Sirius stories like this and if you do they are not as well written and detailed as yours. Fantastic through and through!
orangezauberAuthor's Response: This was a bit of a throwaway story. The plot bunny hit, and continued nibbling until I wrote something. At first, I had no idea where to go with it, but it's moving better now. Thanks for checking it out and reviewing, you're the best ;) Report Review
I can't decide to open this with a "LOL" or "Yayz! an update!".
Love this chapter, as always. Very amazingly written as always. One little nitpick.
“A few weeks, give or take a day or two.” Her eyes tumbled back to her leg. “Perhaps there’s someone we should notify that you’re safe? Maybe a friend or family member?”
“No. There isn’t,” she said shaking her head calmly.
You're missing the spacing between the two paragraphs. I know that annoys me when I accidentally do it so I thought I'd point it out.
I still love your characterizations. Alison is well-formed, Sirius perfect, and Remus lovable. I particularly like the line about him throwing caution to the wind.
Alison and Sirius...they do get on each other's nerves, don't they? And Remus seems to be enjoying himself in the middle of it all (sorta).
I love the ending of this chapter. I was wondering when she'd voice her suspicions about them being gay, and when she'd notice something magical, but I never expected both things to come at once. It was hilarious and perfect. Can't wait for next chapter.Author's Response: Thanks so much for coming back to review, I'm really glad you're enjoying the story! I will definitely fix that spacing thing, I hate when that happens.
These three have been so fun to write - all the odd dialogue and flighty feelings between them makes for a nice brew. I'm glad it's coming across to the reader in the way I hoped. Really happy you liked the ending, was afraid I'd lose more than a few people, which actually I think I did, but hopefully I will continue to keep some interest.
Thanks again for the fabulous review, your encouragement has been so marvelous! Report Review
ugh, fabulous to say the least.
I cannot wait for the next chapter. I have no cc, but I have to run and do some chores for my mom! Love this story.Author's Response: Thanks again for all the great reviews, and I really am so glad that you like it! Report Review
Buckbeak is such a cutie. I wish I could have him as a pet. Actually, I don't that would be a mess. Now, You are probably thinking what an absurd reviewer I am and an even crazier person? Haha!
I really think the name Allison Jane is beautiful. I might need to use that for one of my children's names if I ever have kids. oh lord, I better not get carried away with myself now. I'm only nearly seventeen afterall.
I really enjoyed reading about the Remus and Sirius' interactions. I love the way you have woven their friendship, it's such a great one. It's exactly how I pictured it.
I love this story. I'm adding it to my favorites. I can't wait to read the next chapter. Sorry that my reviews are getting awfully short!Author's Response: You are a very fun and insightful reviewer :) and I am honored that you read this. Buckbeak would be rather messy, and he eats other animals. Don't think I could feed ferrets to him...
I rather enjoy writing Remus and Sirius later in life, didn't think I would. There are so many more depths to discover...and thanks for liking the name, I wanted it to be relatively plain.
Thank you so much for adding this to your favorites, that really made me feel like I did something right . Your reviews are so lovely and encouraging, thanks so much again. Report Review
Wow. I love where you are going with this. Allison finally woke up. Phenomonal. At least she's getting better. She seems a little stuck up to me, It's so awful how she's treating Sirius. He doesn't deserve this.
I love Sirius' inner thoughts. They are written and crafted so beautifully, that your reader can really relate to them. This was a phenomonal chapter. I am really enjoying this. I love it, Leent. As always. No Cc though, Hope that's not dissapointing!Author's Response: Oh yes, she is very...odd, for lack of a better word. She does have her reasons though, even if they aren't the best. I am trying to make her a tad on the prima donna side, because every girl/woman has the tendency, no matter what they say. And, it's our right as well :)
Yes, Sirius doesn't deserve it, but she doesn't see it that way. Glad you liked his inner thoughts too, they are so interesting to delve into. Thanks again for all the lovely reviews and inspiring encouragement :) Report Review
There were some amazingly powerful lines in this.
I really loved this one. "Without the faintest of warnings, the girl suddenly thrashed as if something was choking the last bits of life out of her frail body."
This killed me, it was so beautifully painful. I could feel myself chanting NO don't die.
I really liked this part as well. You lifted the mood a bit! "All right then, Sirius thought. Well, it seems this blooming girl has initiated the first of many today. Never before was he called by another man’s name. No, the women he knew many moons ago would cry out his name with their boyfriends"
I like how this chapter wasn't as serious as the previous one, but serious at the same time. Shoot I did a Sirius pun. Haha. It was a great chapter, word for word. I really enjoy this story.Author's Response: I adored your 'sirius' pun, as well as your review! Really happy you like it, and you liked the tone so far. I wanted to write something a little different, and I hope I've partially accomplished that. Everyone always says Sirius was a player, so I had to play up on it just a little...thanks again for your fabulous review, really means a lot. Report Review
Leent, I'm back. Firstly. YOU ARE WONDERFUL! Thanks so much for replying to my review and following my rules so nicely! Yay Yay Yay! That makes me happy! Secondly, So excited to be back and reviewing for you. Your stories are some of my favorites.
Well, I quite enjoyed this chapter. It made me really happy to learn more of what was going to happen and see what happened. I really was worried about Allison. She better be okay. I really was liking her.
Goodness me, Leent. Your descriptions in this chapter were phenomonal as always. It provided me with such a pristine clear picture in my mind. So lovely. I really enjoy when authors do that in their stories.
Never have I found any errors in your work. Fantastic job there! Off to the next chapter. Ho, Hum He.
Author's Response: Hey Rach! Just for your information, you are just as wonderful! Thrilled that you're liking this so far, and I hope that you do. I very much value your opinion :)
I am really glad the descriptions weren't too over the top, I tend to get a little wordy trying to convey things. Thank you so very much for reviewing again! Report Review
I'm very much liking this story so far. It's very well written and I love the humor in it.
You've done a great job capturing Remus and Sirius' characters and I like that Allison doesn't feel like a Mary Sue.
The dialogue feels very natural. And I like the way you are able to describe things without going into too much detail, like in other fics I've read where there are 5 paragraphs dedicated to describing what the main character is wearing (yawn).
This chapter definitely kept me entertained, and I love the way you ended it -because now I am really looking foreward to reading the next.
Thank you for updating this story.Author's Response: I honestly blushed when I read your review, thank you so much. I am trying very hard not to make Alison a MarySue, actually going to some extremes. So far, it's great to hear I am succeeding ;) And I was never one to describe the wife-beater tee, or stuff like that, unless it's absolutely relevant. Hopefully I will have a new chapter soon, working on another story first, but I have bits of it written already.
Thanks again for your great review! Report Review
wowo! First to Review
hahahahah she thinks Remus and Sirius are gay? no offense to anyone! I love it!!! heheheh old Sirius cleaning!!! Bravo!!!
This is amazing!!!
cant wait to see what happens next!!!
-mala nina-Author's Response: I am so happy you liked it! I couldn't help but poke a little fun at all the slash that surrounds those two in so many fanfics - not that it isn't fantastic, but had to have a little fun with it. And I might just continue to do so, hehehe.
Thanks so much for your review :) Report Review
I really do enjoy reading this story, it flows well and the characters are real. I love that you have even put in the effort to cover Sirius' physiological damage and to remind the reader that he is just a touch on the loopy side. Can't wait to read the rest of your story!
10/10Author's Response: Yes, he is just a touch past the loopy mark, isn't he? Good word there, one of my favorites actually. Thanks very much for reviewing again, and for your continued support. I probably request more in the future ;) Report Review
lEEENT LEENT LEENT! I've missed reviewing for you. I absolutely love every story that comes from you. I always look forward to reviewing for you too. Glad that you are back and requested again! I missed you! How is everything? I hope you are taking care and are well! :)
Wow. The opening to this is just breath takingly (that's not even a word... at least I don't think?) beautiful. Your descriptions leent are marvelous. I absolutely loved the opening. You really know how to hook the reader. I think that the plot seems fantastic. I can't wait to see where you are going with this!
I love your Oc, in Alison. She seems like she is crafted greatly. she's not mary-suish at all. And I love your Sirius. No cc! Great job. I'll see if I can review the next chapter today. If I don't get to it, you can come back in three days and request again! :)Author's Response: You are such a lovely person! I am so happy you are still up for reviewing, because I always love to hear what you think. And. I've been around, just hitting my head against the dreaded writer's block...
Thrilled to hear you liked the beginning and that I hooked the reader in, always great to hear that. And, I am seriously trying to make Alison the anti-Marysue if there ever was such a thing! Thanks again for the great review, and I will come back when I get the chance :) Report Review
Your detail in this chapter is incredible! You have each and every detail down in a realistic and imaginable manner. It also flows well together with an obvious change of time that doesn’t rush the reader (If that makes any sense). I really do like the story so far and I am looking forward to hopefully reviewing more of your chapters.
10/10Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review, very happy to hear that I\\\'ve kept your interest, and you liked all the details. Thanks again! Report Review
Incredable start. You had me hooked from the word go. Your plot is fantastic! I also think that in terms of characterisations, for your OC it is not all there yet, but a very strong foundation had been laid that I hope you've built on in the next few chapters! So all in all, fantastic start and a story that sound exciting to read!Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. Glad you like it so far, and that you believe I\\\'ve set out what I wished to accomplish. Thanks again :) Report Review
hahahahaha. I'm really laughing ridiculously hard right now. I think that this was brilliant. I abhor stories in which sirius and remus are lovers. Allison's innocence lead her to think they were... and hippies too. quite the parody.
Anywho... another wonderful chapter. I really really looked for something to pick apart (I like criticism when I read reviews) but I couldn't reallly find anything to comment on.
All in all, I'd take that to be a good sign. :) I certainly hope you update soon. All though I started reviewing this because of my review page, I plan to keep reading it.
-witnessAuthor's Response: Thrilled that I made you laugh! While I\\\'m not a huge fan of the remus/sirius pairing, I have read a few good stories, and I can understand the interest. But, most certainly, that was completely intentional ;)
I am so happy you liked this chapter, but I\\\'m not so sure about the next one. It will be in the queue after my other story is updated. I would really love to hear what you think. Your reviews are so supportive, insightful, and perfectly balanced. I appreciate them greatly! Report Review
I love this chapter. The discription of Sirius' voice (disuse and good breeding) seemed so appropriate. I also enjoyed Sirius' method of assigning various names to Allison.
My only criticism to this chapter is how belligerent Allison comes off as. I know that she shouldn't, and won't like Sirius right away, but I feel that fear would be her over-riding emotion -- not irritation. This may be a personal opinion, but I'd be far too frightened to be that sassy with the strange character that almost killed and then kidnapped me.
All in all, this is a well-put together story with an intriguing plot and solid characters. I'm sad that there is only one more chapter to read.
Onward I go...
-witnessAuthor's Response: I completely agree with Alison\'s behavior, and I might have to tweak it in the near future. But in her defense, she is a girl raised with a silver spoon in her mouth, and she\'s used to getting her way. And despite her running away from her life, well, she\'s retained quite a lot of that superiority. She\'s a strong girl, at least on the outside. Suppose much about her hasn\'t been explained just yet, but it will be. Sometimes we have only that strength (sassiness) on the outside to hold onto in dangerous situations, kind of like a defense mechanism.
Thanks so much for that input, because it helps me so much in telling this story. And thanks for the great review! Report Review
*cheering in my head* I love that Allison is a muggle. That eliminates the awkward and cliche conversation about Sirius' innocence in later chapters. :) I was unsure about Remus' mannerisms in the last chapter, but now feel that you do him justice. He is quiet and self sacrificing and mature.
This is a beautiful and descriptive line:
"If shadows had voices, then that shrillest among them couldn’t startle Sirius. However, the shadows themselves could do just that."
Can't wait to read the next two chapters.
-witnessAuthor's Response: Yes, she is a muggle. Don\\\'t really know how that will work out in context, but it will somehow. Remus will play a smaller role here, but I do love him so, and he\\\'ll certainly have his moments.
So happy you\\\'ve read on, and that you\\\'ve liked things thus far. Thank you so much for your insightful and kind reviews! Report Review
Another delightful chapter. The care that Sirius provides for Allison is very touching. It is nice that he finally has something to care about and do. I'm a little skeptical that Remus would so easily be able to diagnose a ruptured spleen, perhaps he could just guess at internal bleeding?
I like the reoccuring theme of guilt as the driving force in Sirius' every action. I also fell that his resentment of their childhood nicknames.
I certainly hope Allison is well. I guess I'll find out.
-witnessAuthor's Response: Thanks for reading another chapter! Yes, you have a point about Remus, I might just have to change that or perhaps explain it better. Glad your continuing to like it, and thanks again for the review. Report Review
Hello There! I'm finally getting around to your review. :)
So, I think that this is an intriguing start to what I hope will be a fantastic story. While this chapter doesn't really give that much insight into Alison's character, I'm sure that I'll get to know her in the upcoming chapters. I think that you write Sirius brilliantly. All too often Sirius is too OOC. I think that you captured his fun-loving nature that has taken a backseat to his guilt after escaping azkaban.
The break between Allison's and Sirius' POV was smooth and easy to follow. I would work on Allison's POV slightly, not because it is lacking, but because Sirius' POV is so well written that it dwarfs Allison's.
So, I'm now on to read the next chapter. I have a feeling that I'll be reading and reviewing all five chapters... I think I may be addicted to this story. :)
-WitnessAuthor's Response: You really made me smile! I actually intended to show only a glimpse of Alison\\\'s character initially. But I do understand what you mean. Glad you liked Sirius here, though he does later on have a bit of that angsty guilt coming out, amongst other things ;)
Thanks so much for your review. It was very supportive and honest. Report Review
Wow, this chapter is so hilarious. I smiled all the way through. Again, very well written, and I loved all the interactions. I'm glad you brought Buckbeak in. I really do love this story, and will be adding it to my favorites to keep up with it. Thank you for requesting from me - this is an original and refreshing story.Author's Response: I am thrilled that you liked it as you did. I want it to be a bit different, and I hope I can accomplish that without getting cliche. And, I do adore Buckbeak, who wouldn\\\'t?
Thanks for your insightful and wonderful reviews, they have helped so much. And I hope the rest of the story keeps your interest :) Report Review
I meant to say last chapter that I loved Sirius and the shadow. Very good touch considering his stay in Azkaban and all.
This was, again, and excellent and well-written chapter. I'm glad she's finally awake. BTW, I don't know if it was intentional, but in earlier chapters you called her Alison and now it's Allison. You might want to fix that.
I loved her reactions to everything, and dialogue between her and Sirius was perfect. I still like your characterizations quite a bit. I have to wonder if it is going to hit Al(l)ison that he's an escaped convict, especially since he went and told his real name. Rather dumb of him, but believable considering his rashness and all.
Going to read the next chapter soon!Author's Response: Sirius would have to be changed by some degree after all those years in Azkaban, and I\\\'m happy to hear that worked well.
And, yes, her name is Alison, can\\\'t believe I did that! But I have edited and it\\\'s now in the queue, I\\\'m grateful that you pointed it out :)
Sirius doesn\\\'t always use his best judgement, just like you suggested. Alison\\\' still a bit lost in this, but in the next few chapters, things become much more clear to her. Thank you for enjoying the dialogue between the two, it\\\'s an odd situation, with two very strange characters.
Thanks for the lovely review. Report Review
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