it was pretty good for an amateur, mostly because you took the time and effort to write this long of a story. there were a few punctuation/grammatical errors (but we can overlook that). The characters, however, did not seem like themselves. you strayed from J.K. Rowling's characteristics for Harry and Ginny especially. honestly, it was mediocre. but hell, l don't think i would have time to do it better...so good job. Report Review
This story was cute. It was enjoyable but a little confusing in some places. A little constructive criticism, when someone is speaking the quotation marks start where the person starts speaking and end when they finish. You don't have to have " marks everytime you start a new sentence, if they speak more than one sentence then put the ending " mark when they are done. For example "Harry, it's beautiful, how, when? I-I-I don't know what to say," said Ginny.
Also, when someone else starts speaking it automatically starts a new paragraph.
Something else, and this one is strictly my humble opinion, to ease confusion when using thoughts as a statement like you did with Harry at the beginning instead of quotation marks italicize the words.
Hope that is helpful and don't mind my idle prattle :) I also wanted to say I loved the idea of the engagement ring being in a Snitch, it's so Harry and Ginny. Overall good job! Keep writing. Report Review
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