I cried, It was horrible. and sad, and true. It was the first story I've read that seems real. That when you read you nod sadly because that's life. You love and sometimes your prince doesn't love you back. and you don't find something better. you just end up lost and alone...thankyou. For reality. It's a nice change. Report Review
This is probably my favourite one-shot ever. I mean, I love the way you explain the main character's actions, how all of them seem to be logical from her point of view, how the story begins so innocently and ends so tragically. It's really breathtaking. 10/10 Report Review
absolutely amazing! it left me speechless and i absolutely adore how genuine it is. really beautiful, you did a fantastic job! 10/10 of course. Report Review
Amazing story. I loved every minute of it. The only thing that bugged me was that she didn't have a first name, and I'm just weird that way. And I wish it was longer :)
~obviously Report Review
aw. such a sad story. i really like it. it's so sad though but really really good. Report Review
Wow. This was heartbreaking. Wait, just need a moment to gather my thoughts -- wait, still don't know where to begin. Okay. So, I loved pretty much everything about this piece - the characterizations, the narrating, the writing, the plot. For not having written fanfiction for nine months... Well, by reading this, you would never be able to tell. The OC had tremendous depth. I rarely read Sirius/OC stories - heck, I never read Sirius/OC stories. As far as I know, I've come across one other that also rocked my world. But this OC was great - and nameless, now that I think about it! That's awesome, 'cause you pretty much never see it. I think she disturbed me a bit, though. Her choices, how she used Regulus... But I still sympathized with her, because we all want to be loved and if we can't get all that we want, we go for second best (as mentioned!). It's human nature. And you really convey this side brilliantly. I love how you've written Sirius and Regulus and how Regulus cared only for her last name when he met her and how Sirius noticed her by the side of his brother. The rivalry between them was very noticable, even though you didn't get into that much. I liked that. The writing is downright incredible. I love it that there isn't a lot of dialogue - I would normally say that I'd liked more dialogue 'cause balance is important to me, but here, I can't really imagine it being that way. And you convey so much by not being overly descriptive or extending something, a feeling or an event. It just comes and go, but still leaves something behind. I can't explain it much better than that, I think... Just that it left me awestruck. I liked this mini-triangle-drama. It wasn't that apparent, because obviously, Sirius was never really interested in her, but it was, as you said, something more personal between the brothers and she was just there in the middle. Gee, just feel like I'm rambling incoherent words and sentences. But - this was awesome. Well done and keep writing ^_^Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Wow! I'm so glad I could impress someone who doesn't usually read Sirius/OC stories - I'm usually not a fan either since a good deal tend to be cliche. And I've had a thing for unnamed characters recently. The novel I'm writing (original fiction) has one too - it's addicting!
I've always struggled with striking a balance between how much to say and how much to leave unsaid, so I'm ecstatic that you feel I got it right!
Thank you again! This review made my day! Report Review
this is really good, very deep and i don;t mean to sound cheasy
i had to read it twice so i could absorb the entire thingAuthor's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
Such a different story, i loved it. No fluffy love or anything and the main girl is quite mad! in a good way though.Author's Response: She is, isn't she?
Thank you! Report Review
So let me start off with staying: This was such a unique and different look at Sirius. It’s something I’ve never seen before and it really made me really somber at the end. Witch I bet is what you wanted all along.
Things I Liked: I love that you made her a regular girl who fell in love with the boy that everybody loved. I can relate, not to her extreme degree, but to a point. I think everybody has that person that they look upon and want but know they’ll never get. Overall I love the mood of the story, and I think everything flowed together rather nicely. It was heart wrenching to see her little love triangle but in the end… well what normal happened, happened. It was perfect. She didn’t get either but instead simply was left with herself. I hope that she did find somebody, and to a certain degree caught over Sirius.
Things I Would Change/Don't Get: Well there’s not much really. In a normal story I might say that she was too whiny and too insecure but really in your story it worked perfectly. When she slept with Regulus I somewhat lost respect for her. I understand it was because she thought of him like Sirius but I would have made it a bit longer into her relationship with Regulus. She just seems like that shy kind of girl, and the kind of girl who doesn’t take charge really. She lets her relationships fall apart on there own and stuff so I thought it was out of character for her to sleep with him so abruptly.
Character Analysis: The little bit I did see with Regulus and Sirius was from her point of view so with that in mind I thought you portrayed them pretty well from a girl’s point of view. I think though Regulus might have been too quick to fall in love with her. I think you captured the girl perfectly, because she is like the people who never crack the shell. It’s not your typical story were the girl gets enough courage to stand up for herself. But that’s perfectly ok.
Possible Clichés: The only cliché I saw was the fact that you said Sirius never dated. For some reason I always saw Sirius dating a lot of people, kind of like James. Because they were kind of ‘players’ but in the end you choose how you wanted to portray him.
Overall Rating: 9.5/10Author's Response: Wow! What a comprehensive review! Thank you!
I understand what you mean about losing respect for her - on some levels it's easy to identify (the feeling of nostalgia over people I hardly know really resonates with me) but on others she's a bit off/extreme. I meant for her to be kind of deplorable/easily pitied. I don’t see very many truly flawed OC’s around.
As to how quickly she and Regulus got together, I suppose I could have put a bit more work into that area. In my mind she had kind of gone downhill in the time after her encounter with Sirius - less focused on her studies, less social, developing a slight drinking problem (which all could have been touched on better, I see now) and in Regulus she sees a non-threatening version of his brother. He's younger so she feels like it's easy to step up and do something about it.
I should put a little work into the relationship - I kind of saw him as a little naive, easily manipulated, the type of guy who puts on a little tough-guy show and then gets all puppy-love-ish for a woman who takes control (kind of based him off a friend of mine a bit). I think when most girls would have made eyes and flirted, waited for him to make a move, he's thrown by her no-nonsense approach.
And Sirius - as I recall, in Snape's Worst Memory, James kind of checks out the ladies looking their group and Sirius kind of ignores them, which leads me to believe he was a little more interested in hanging out with his friends. I've read many portrayals though, and it all depends on the type of story. I can see him dating too.
I apologize if I’m justifying – I feel like if I have to explain things than the story wasn’t properly written. I will definitely keep your comments in mind when I get around to an edit.
Thank you so much! This is one heck of a review – really balanced. Just fantastic. Report Review
that was effing awesome. Like seriously. First off, i love the way you right - with detail , emotion. Its keeps the reader interested from the first line. I'm glad to say this is the first fanfic thing i've read on this site, and i'm glad that this was my first. Thankyou so much for writing this. I was .. whats the word..? entranced? hypnotised? i was so into reading this, i forgot about everything. i love LOVE your writing. =]Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed your first story here - it's a great site!
Thank you again! Report Review
wow the ending was great!
really got throught to meAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Report Review
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