This story is so beautiful, you truly have such a gift for writing. It is unbelieveably sad yet achingly happy at the same time. The way you have tied in Aurelia's story with Luna's, Harry's and James and Lily's is perfect. Report Review
i always wanted to read a story related to luna and her mother. i love luna,, she is so amazing. this chapter is perfect.
10/10Author's Response: aw thank you very much! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story :) Report Review
Hello again :)
I’m not sure I have words for the end of this. This whole story has been so enchanting, addicting and consuming. I’ve enjoyed every chapter, every word and it seems weird I have finally finished it. Yet again, I’m happy it ended how it did.
This story truly took on an issue many people overlook. It picked up and showed how valuable every moment alive with family is. It shows how quickly life can become death, and how all anyone wants in those moments is a little more time. For time here not to be taken for granted.
I learned that a year and a half ago and I love how true to that this story stays. It’s great, it’s honest, and it hits close to the heart.
So overall, this was amazing, beyond words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing each and every chapter. It was a cool experience. It was a character I never though much of until now, and I’m glad you wrote it! Excellent job!
With leaving this last review, I’ll share my favorite line from this chapter, and I think from this whole story:
“From ashes I came and to dust I had returned.”
So true, so honest, so beautiful. Great job!
~Santa the secret man :) Report Review
AHHH! This chapter gave me goosebumps! Especially the end of it! It was just…it was beyond sweet!
I had a feeling from the beginning that Ariana was Albus’ sister, but I just couldn’t fully convince myself of it. Now I know for sure, and am not really surprised. But I do like the emotion and feelings with them. And how that leads to Aurelia figuring out who it is she should have been forgiving…such a true sentiment. Beautiful.
And I found two things in this one that could be fixed:
“I did at Hogwarts,” she said thoughtfully.” ~I’m thinking you meant It, no I.
“The eerie mist swirled at our feast, shapes becoming denser on the horizon ahead.” ~Believe you meant feat, not feast.
And last but not least, two of my favorite lines:
“Vanity was not for the dead.”
“The reality is never as bad as the imagination paints it to be and worrying is rarely fruitful.”
Really excellent job!
~Secret Santa Report Review
Hello again :)
This chapter started out a little bit confusing. The first paragraph and about half of the next one seemed to be a bit repetitive or something and it made it sort of hard to read. It could just be me, as I’m up later than I probably should be [ :) ], but the beginning was confusing and past that it was amazing!
I was feeling mildly anxious, reading about how everyone was waiting and getting sick of it. I felt like I was sitting there with them, waiting with them for what was going to happen. And really, I should have guessed what it was going to be. I mentioned in my review last chapter that I figured it had something to do with the outside world, beyond the white world, yet I never even took a guess to figure it out. Oh well, it was a good surprise none-the-less!
Also have to say I love Dumbledore’s reaction to finally getting there. And the way he helped the souls, when everyone else in the white world had no idea what to do about them, how to help. Really rather amazing!
Two things I noticed:
“Looking around at the others, I saw that they two had taken on a faded appearance.” ~You meant too instead of two*
“Was is the mist that hung between us?” ~It instead of is
And last but not least, my favorite line from this chapter:
“It was not written, it was not spoken, but it was undeniably true that we had to protect the Orchard, to preserve the white world.”
Once again, not sure why it’s my favorite line of this chapter, but it was just…it was cool. I like the way it flows and how it fits into the story! Great job again!
~Santa of the secret sort Report Review
This chapter was…definitely weird, but still very good. It’s very odd for the white world to seem so sad, to seem like it was struggling. In previous chapters it has seemed to be emotionless, and just there. But now it’s actually feeling something…it’s strange. And fascinating at the same time. It so easily draws me in. I want to know how it works, just as much as Aurelia wants to.
Her curiosity about the trees leaking that green color to her, to the ground around her feet, makes me just as curious. I wonder like her what caused it and why it happened. It’s so easy to follow her curiosity and absorb it yourself. It’s great.
And the souls? Really creepy that they were out of Skeleton Woods. Even James was surprised, which makes it even creepier. Why would the souls have a reason to leave Skeleton Woods? Does it relate to what’s going on in the real world, the fight with Voldemort?
Also, two things I noticed:
“A jumbled mass of despair and distress. And they were reaching our their wasted hands for me.” ~Instead of our, you meant out.
“It was hopeless, it was pointed.” ~I’m thinking you meant pointless?
And last but not least, my favorite line:
“After a while, it became a part of you as much as you were a part of it.”
I don’t know why I love this line…but I most definitely do! It just really seemed to fit! And now I’m off to the next chapter! :D
--By the way, reviews from the 27 were for week 2 (My internet decided to crash for a couple days preventing me from reading or reviewing.) So this would be the start of week 3 :D Report Review
This chapter has left me speechless. I'm not even sure how to put words to how amazing it was. No errors of any sort and the words just weaved thier way through my head. And the veil? Not what I expected. Yet I definitely should have seen it coming. But it was good! So past the point of amazing. It makes me wonder if Harry and Luna really could hear thier parents on the other side of the veil or if they got the mumbles and whispers that didn't necessarily mean anything. And Sirius? That was sad. Him falling through the veil and then Ariana making his body disappear...heart breaking! Especially with Lily and James there to see him. Just makes me hope he comes back in the upcoming chapters. Great job!
~Santa, of the secret gift giving kind Report Review
Every time I read the next chapter of this story, I'm amazed by what the white world can do. You'd figure I'd understand anything is possible there, like Aurelia figured out, but I just...I can't seem to understand that. But it's one of the things that makes this story even more addicting: the need to figure out what else can happen in this mysterious world.
Your characterization, description and grammar is great, though I found one small thing with a sentence:
"A small wave of longing crept up on me as I watched her, and I wished more than anything I could be sharing the joy and happiness with." ~I think you want a 'her' after with.
Otherwise, again, great job! Looking forward to going on and reading the next chapter :D
~Secret Santa Report Review
The end of this chapter sent a shiver down my spine. The eloquent way you word your sentences, you space your paragraphs, you have Aurelia's whole character captivates me. It makes it soo difficult to stop reading, to not hit 'next chapter' and get lost within yet another chapter of the white world. It's so...amazing. Aurelia's character seems so real, and her emotions are easy to get lost in. The frusteration rolls from the words in this story, yet her understanding, at the end of this chapter, with loving her parents still...It's great. She is, very quickly, learning things, though I'm not quite sure Aurelia realizes that at this time. [I'm thinking the whole 'I forgive and still love my parents' thing is part of her getting to move on ;)].
So. This will be the last review santa leaves tonight, but he shall return tomorrow with a little more Christmas cheer to share! So more reviews are to come, before week 2 is up! :D
~Secret Santa Report Review
Chapter three was just as good, if not better than the previous chapters. I'm really starting to love this white world, as horrible as it sounds [I wouldn't last more than a day alone with no one to talk to]. And Skeleton's Woods? Creepy! Definitely gave me the creeps! Those souls of people? Only thing I could think of were dementors. Which gave me more creeps. To think that they life in the woods, not able to escape because they have living bodies...creepy, but really creative to throw in!
Beth, I tend to think to, is mildly creepy. Seems she's been there a long time, though it's sort of confusing. I sort of figured, just because she had so many answers to weird questions that she had cancer. But the fact that she lived until she was 20, though she was still 8? Totally bizarre! But I love it all the same!
A few things here, I have to point out:
"There was definitely something wrong here and it agitate me." ~agitated me -past tense not present
"I looked passed the many heads on my right and saw the Hogwarts Express, its scarlet engine gleaming like a beacon against the dark stone walls behind it." ~Instead of passed, past.
"Then again, Luna had always been independent, and I’m not sure even if I hadn’t died that I would be able to control her." ~To keep it in past tense, I think you mean 'I would have been able'
But past those, honestly, this was an amazing chapter! This white world never ceases to amaze me! I am excited to move onto the next chapter!
~Secret Santa Report Review
This keeps getting more and more fascinating. The white world with only a white Tree and then Ariana comes? It's so.weird, yet totally amazing! You have definitely made this world of.dead interesting! A world of all white with nothing more than a orange tree. Then getting told to come to this Orchard until you're ready to go on. Onto where, who knows, but I'm sure I'll find out in the up and coming chapters. Also! James and Lily in this between world? Moving onto the next chapter to see what happens!
By the way, great job on this chapter! I love this! :D
~Secret Santa Report Review
I'm truely facinated with this story. I started reading it not quite sure what to expect, but I really rather like it. It's really curious how Aurelia isn't sure if she is or isn't dead...honestly, I don't know if she is or isn't.
But I think that is part of the fascination. I've never given Luna's mum much thought but you really start this story strong. You bring Aurelia into an unknown place that's purely white, other than the orange tree. And then a wand grows from the tree and somehow this orange tree wand brings up all kinds of things. It's really cleaver. I definitely can't wait to move on and read more!
A couple things, though, did get a bit iffy. Some of the past tense seemed to be inching more towards present tense at times. Usually it was just a single word that didn't quite go past tense but didn't sound bad. The other thing that sort of got distracting was commas. Some of the commas you had in the chapter weren't necessary. It wasn't bad, but it did cause me to have to reread a couple sentences becuase the commas made me pause at weird points. But other than those two things, I truely loved this! Now I'm off to read the next chapter!
~SECRET Santa Report Review
Hello my dear!
Wow, I cannot believe I simply stopped reading your story a couple months ago. I know why : I lost somebody that was very close to me and this was definitly not the story to read in order to get closure. Getting back to it though, it does help to imagine him in Aurelia's position. To imagine him struggling with his new situation like we did. I really loved it.
I particularily loved the scene where Aurelia sees herself in her daughter and wishes she would have a different life; one with friends and hapiness. It was a bit heartbreaking to read that, knowing that the first 3 years of Luna's school life will be pretty lonely. It was so touching though, so well written.
I really loved this chapter, there is nothing more to say, other than to thank you for allowing me to think of my friend again and to feel him close to me once again, even if it's only for a couple minutes rather than a lifetime. Report Review
ahh this was so sweet and sad at the end, i almost cried. it is really well written and an unusul idea! i'm enjoying it :)Author's Response: thank you very much! this is one of my favourite things that I've written, I'm very proud of it. I hope you'll continue to enjoy the rest! Report Review
This story had always kind of mesmorised me. I remember beginning to read it when there were like.. two chapters and coming back when it was all written and reading the whole thing.
I love things like this - the after life, and yours is particuarlly good. It was the sort of story that made me want to sit down for a breather after I'd finished reading it. Like something really tiring and important just happened, although I'm not entirely sure which.
I loved how orginal it was with the characters you chose and I pretty much loved all of it.
It also makes me want to go eat oranges.
Sorry for never reviewing before this point, but I'm really not very good at reviewing :P
-AcAuthor's Response: Wow, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you came back and finished this after all this time. I'm terrible for keeping up with stories, so I understand that when you post a longer story people don't continue with it. But thank you for reading and thank you for finishing :D
I sort of know what you mean - after I finished this I was so... exhausted? Sort of, but like you said, I needed a breather and it was tiring. This is definitely one of the fics I'm most proud of. So I'm thrilled you enjoyed it.
And I, too, craved oranges once I finished. Haha.
Marina Report Review
Amazing! I had never thought about luna's mother in that way before.Author's Response: thank you very much :) Report Review
Oh no. Now that I'm at the end, I'm kind of sad. This was a truly amazing story, Marina. It really was. Everything about it was so unique and interesting and executed in such a different way. This whole story differs so much from anything else on this site. It's completely unique. I love that about it.
The very last part was absolutely amazing. The sort of countdown (well, it was counting up, but still) that brought her to the final death and the peace that came with it. That was beautiful. I loved the way you kind of slowed it down and how Aurelia felt every little thing about those last seconds.
I'm so glad I read this story. It's amazing (I've said that word way too much, don't judge me, haha).Author's Response: This story was actually quite a journey for me. It took me about a year and a half to write and every chapter was like a milestone :P It's very dear to me and your feedback means so much to me :)
When I wrote it I wasn't really aware that it was different to what else was on the site - I just wanted to write it and so I did :P
I wanted to tie the Platform 9 3/4 scene from DH in with Aurelia's afterlife - which is why the clock is counting down to 11 o'clock (when the train leaves). I don't know if anyone ever got that, but that's what that is :P
thanks so much for all your fabulous reviews. You're a gem ♥ Report Review
Ooh. I think this might be my favorite chapter thus far. All of the descriptions were so amazingly done; like when she gets pulled into the fog and the room where Luna and Ollivander were and basically everything else. The way you write Aurelia and her emotions is just so perfect and realistic feeling. Also really loved the moment between Dumbledore and Ariana, I was wondering if something like that would happen. :) I don't know what else to say! This story is just too good for me to be intelligent about it, haha.
One chapter left! :DAuthor's Response: I wrote this so long ago I can barely remember which chapter is which; all I know is that all chapters contain rambling about trees :P
But I do remember writing the scene with Ollivander and Luna and it was almost chilling how sad it must have been for Aurelia. I really connected to her as a person :)
thanks so much for the review! Report Review
DUMBLEDORE! Dumbledore always pops into stories and provides wisdom for everyone. It's like his job. I love it. That was really cool, though, how he came in all calm and collected and Dumbledore-y and ushered the souls from Skeleton Wood to the beyond or back to life.
You are just too amazing for words, Marina. I can't think of anything else to say.Author's Response: thank you Erica :) Report Review
Gah. I just adore the way you write. This story is so full of beautiful imagery and so much personification of the white world and everything in it. I loved this line at the beginning: "I felt the presence of hush like dew clung to grass." That was amazing.
I'm so glad that I finally found time to read this story. It's simply amazing, Marina.Author's Response: thank you so much, Erica :) Report Review
I was wondering if the Department of Mysteries scene would make it into this story. Seems my prediction was correct, heh. I thought it was a great scene in the story, the way they were desperately calling for Harry and Luna was so heartbreaking because I knew they wouldn't be getting the result they desired from it.
Still, it was really clever the way you incorporated things that happened in the books into this world. Like how Luna and Harry DID hear voices, but of course, had no inclination that it was their parents.
Great as always(:Author's Response: thank you so much, Erica :D Report Review
Everything you create in this world is so intriguing and unique and interesting. The idea of the reflection pool was so cool to read. I liked the seemingly eternal chase Aurelia had, when she thought the girl was Luna but was in reality herself. I had a feeling it might turn out to be her. But anyway, the reflecting pool was very nice(:
One of the things I find the most resonating about this story is her memories of her life. Like how in this chapter she thinks about how she loved Christmas and how Luna loves it, as well. And then the memories of Luna having to be the one to decorate the Christmas tree.
This is such a lovely story, Marina. I wish I were writing better reviews!Author's Response: Your reviews are lovely as they are, erica! thanks so much! Report Review
I liked the expression of Aurelia's frustration in this chapter. I can't imagine how awful it would be to be trapped in a world between life and death, to see my family and not be able to speak with them, etc. It would be so frustrating, so I found her feeling of it to be very realistic.
All the little moments she has in the living world are so touching and I love the way they work into the story. Seeing Luna at school, going to her childhood home, realizing that she's forgiven her parents and loves them. I thought it was a bit realization to recognize the good things that happened despite her death.
Great work(:Author's Response: thank you so much erica :) Report Review
I love the sense of infinity I get while reading this. This world holds a million possibilities. I love that about it. It really struck me as I was reading the part where she goes to Skeleton Wood that this place she's in is so vast and amazing. I've no idea where you came up with such an amazing idea as this place, but kudos, haha.
I thought it was really sweet how she saw Luna off to school. All the little things she observed about her like her hair swaying across her back, her struggle with the trunk, and the recognition that Luna was so independent and has grown beyond her years because of Aurelia's death. I also liked that Lily and James were there, too. It just made me think of how much Harry would love to know that his parents were there for him.
Absolutely love it; can't wait to read the next chapter(:Author's Response: thank you so much :) Report Review
Oh goodness! James and Lily! I'm quite excited now.
You have a real talent for writing in this style. I really love the way you write Aurelia and her outlook towards everything. It's really believeable the way she gets confused or upset, etc.
The moment she had in the house with Xeno and the memory of Luna was really touching. I would have been quite upset, too, I imagine. But it was very sweet how he dedicated it to her.
Great work! (:Author's Response: We had to have Lily and James, didn't we! They play an important role in Aurelia's journey, that's all I'll say :)
thanks so much for the lovely review! Report Review
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