Reading Reviews for Light Bulb Nudity
  
48 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm Light Bulb Nudity

12th July 2014:
Hey!

Wow, I really loved this and this new interpretation of Peter and Im so glad that you wrote this as it really made me think in another way. It shows that he can be a good man, that he can be a funny man, and that he can be a man who loves and is loved and thats just what made me go wow whilst reading this as the way you wrote it was all so natural and amazing and it just left me in awe really.

I really liked how you didnt directly refer to Peter whilst writing this and generally stuck to pronouns as that helped me accept that this was Peter and that it was possible that he could have these feelings and that was really great. The ending left me all mixed and broken as I just dont know how I feel so I just cant put myself together but it was so beautiful and unique and I really loved it! ♥

-Kiana
House Cup 2014 Review!

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Review #2, by purplepotter77 Light Bulb Nudity

14th July 2013:
Wow. This one-shot is gorgeous.

I've never read a story before in which a character has a romantic relationship with Peter, so that in itself was pretty interesting about it. I really liked the way you portrayed Peter here; he's shown in such a different light than I've seen him in. There's still that neglected, unloved part of him that still remains, and even though he betrayed Lily and James to Voldemort, this story made me feel a lot of pity for him.

This has such a lovely flow to it, and even though it's prose, it's also very poetic in a way. I loved the relationship between the OC and Peter. Even though your OC is unnamed, she still has a lot of characterization that came across in this piece, especially in the winning and counting parts of it. The themes and emotions conveyed here are more subtle, but I think that's part of what makes this so powerful in a way.

I can't think of anything else to say about this beautiful, original one-shot, so I'll just leave it here!

House Cup 2013,
Ravenclaw

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Review #3, by Emandem Light Bulb Nudity

11th November 2010:
This is so good. The flow is perfect, and every word and punctuation mark and just everything fits flawlessly. I loved the wins and the loses, how her apparent confidence seems to balance Peter's awkwardness.

"We read the obituaries each morning in the Daily Prophet, to feel better about the fact that we were alive" This is brilliant. I wish you'd written more stuff

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Review #4, by hirschy Light Bulb Nudity

2nd November 2009:
O.o

This story is absolutely brilliant, you've done a really good job with Peter's characterization. He's exactly how I've pictured him, with his guard always up.

"And then, because Glynn Osterman was dead and could no longer make love, we would make love for her and bake a cherry pie, since the store was out of apples, or perhaps having a sale on cherries." - - Best line ever. :D

10/10! :D

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Review #5, by The Empress Light Bulb Nudity

3rd September 2009:
I have read this story before, but never left a review. Then someone over at The Golden Snitches asked me if I'd read it and I said no. So I started reading and realized that I had, in fact, read it. But it was a long time ago and I had forgotten. But this story doesn't deserve to be forgotten, it's too good. So I read it again, and now I'll review.

It's very romantic, and funny, but sad too. I don't know if you meant it to be, because it is left open to interpretation by the reader. Which I love. But you also say so much here. In the counting to beat him, that she loves him because no one else does. Some of the things that go on make me wonder if she loves him, if they're really in love, or if they just fit comfortably and are content to leave it at that. But then I think, no, they have a real relationship.

The characters are quirky, but they fit so well. And you've written them well. I really do love this story. It's well done.
~Shiloh

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Review #6, by Blissbug Light Bulb Nudity

13th August 2009:
I see why this story has so many reads and favorites. I'm sure what I'm about to say has been said before, but I'll say it anyway ;)

I'm amazed. You show a maturity of writing style, depth and practice. This story is not only delicious because of the story and the characters, but also because of the sheer wonderful technique!

You're writing work I'm still striving to achieve. I'm jealous and pleased and blown away. What a fantastic piece of writing. Thank you.

BB

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Review #7, by Skit Skit Light Bulb Nudity

8th June 2009:
I don't think I've ever read anything that flowed so well. Kudos to you!!

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Review #8, by Jeseca Light Bulb Nudity

29th April 2009:
Wow, I really enjoyed reading this. It flowed beautifully and the repetition of losing and winning and their correlation to making love was really interesting. Your descriptions of Peter's awkwardness and the evolution of their love was amazing. Loved the title too!

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Review #9, by Fragile Words Light Bulb Nudity

16th February 2009:
I love this story. I don't completely understand it, but I love it nonetheless. It's weird isn't it? Liking something I don't know...

But it is rather good.

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Review #10, by TokyoGal11 Light Bulb Nudity

8th June 2008:
I'm so so incredibly sorry that it's taken me so long to review this, but I'm here now.

>.<

Anyway, this actually, grammatically, is very interesting. It has too many ands, and less commas than I personally prefer, but it still made sense, which is strange.
Because it shouldn't have. It had a stream of consciousness that was refreshing, but not annoying... you used punctuation when you needed to, and the rest you just left, which gave you the feeling that you were listening to some woman blurt out whatever random yet connected facts she could think of. It gave it a very real quality, and that's something I ALWAYS comment on in reviews, because it's something that either you have or work on for forever.

Your character voice is very strong. You know who she is, she knows who she is, and again, it sounds very real- I feel like I could probably ask one of my friends, and she'd ask if it was someone's diary entry.

I also like the way you describe Peter- he always gets super bashed in Marauder stories, which is sad, because I like him-- I think he made a mistake, but if you think about it, that mistake kept Voldemort from becoming the Ruler of the World, so it actually turned out ok for everyone else but the people who knew Harry's parents.

Overall Grade: E+

Nice job, give yourself a pat on the back!

-Rini

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Review #11, by faerieall Light Bulb Nudity

3rd June 2008:
Heylo Em!
It's Nisha [Stubby.]
I really liked this story, it had such a unique flow to it.
It confused me yet intrigued me. I thought it was brilliant.

then again, even as Sephora, you were rad.
So everything you write kinda has to be rad. xD
I can't wait to see more under this penname.
Kpeace. xD .

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Review #12, by JLHufflepuff Light Bulb Nudity

26th May 2008:
This is really well-written. You have a way with words.

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Review #13, by subtle_plan Light Bulb Nudity

26th May 2008:
Wow. What to say, what to say. That completely caught me off guard, and now I'm more or less speechless.

Well, it was certainly original, and it was good original, I'll give you credit for that. I've never read anything like it, and I love it. All the comparisons and contrasts, all the nifty word-games, all the amazing sentences that I had to read three times before I could accept and absorb...

Long story short, I apologize, but I have nothing constructive to say. I really hope you will continue writing because your style is going into my favorites. Thank you so much for requesting a review from me so I got to experience this delightfully strange story.

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Review #14, by Bella_Portia Light Bulb Nudity

25th May 2008:
I was very impressed with this story. First of all (like many of your other reviewers), I liked the fact that you chose to make Peter the center of the story, as he is a rather neglected character. And I think the portrait of Peter that emerges from the narrative of your nameless, genderless narrator is superb. We don’t get an exact date (or an exact much of anything), but the reference to “summers” suggests that this takes place during his schoolboy years. And we learn he has issues with his body – even his toes. I also read it, and perhaps I was wrong, to indicate that Peter had an obsessive compulsive disorder that made him turn ordinary things (like physical affection and sex, as well eating and physically moving from one room to another) into a competitive game which he felt badly if he did not win. You created a very complex – and credible – portrait of Peter.

I thought the anonymous narrator – I truly could not tell if it was a boy or a girl, canon or OC – was very well-done and ingenious. In truth, I thought the narrator could well be a figment of Peter’s imagination – someone his mind conjured to relieve what was obviously a lonely and somewhat disturbed existence. That final section, with Peter and friend reading the obituary section of the DP to feel better about themselves, feels consistent with Peter holding the narrator in his mind as an imaginary friend. (As I read back, your line, “Five years and I should be past his awkward nudity, but I’ve wrapped it in the yellow blanket and hidden it in my closet, somewhere in between outdated fashions and imaginary friends” also seems to hint at that interpretation.)


My main criticism is that some of the sentences are a bit run-on. For instance: “‘I never took off my shoes because my second toe was longer than my first and I was embarrassed,’ and he kicked his shoes across the room and pulled off his wool socks and I loved him more and I loved his second toe that was longer than his first. I’d have put: . . . I was embarrassed.’ He kicked his shoes across the room and pulled off his wools socks. I loved him more, and I loved his second toe that was longer than his first.” But obviously, it’s a matter of your discretion.

Similarly: “When he lost, he was a better lover and my selfish cupidity, or was it lust or are the two interchangeable, made me strive to beat him in anything with the slightest hint of competition.” Suggest: when he lost, he was a better lover; and my selfish cupidity (or was it lust?) made me strive to beat him . . . competition.” [Cupidity means avarice, so it and Lust are not quite interchangeable. I left out that phrase for brevity, however.]

In short, this is a very original, well-written story about a neglected character. I liked it a lot.

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Review #15, by lupinlove Light Bulb Nudity

24th May 2008:
this is definitely one of the most original stories i've read on this site. i don't even know how to go about reviewing because there are so many aspects to it, and they're all great! so i suppose i'll do my usual ramble, haha.

i'll start off by cheering you not only for writing about peter, a character i think none of us is that inclined to like, but for making me really feel for him. i loved the whole concept of the yellow blanket, his wearing heavy clothes during the summer, and his even being embarrassed by his second toe. it's unlike anything i've ever come across here - showing peter as being HUMAN. and i felt so fond of him as i read this because it sort of hit me: how difficult it must have been for him to be the least attractive, least academically-inclined of the marauders. talk about pressure! but then i also loved that you had him become foolish when he'd win, since i can only imagine he very rarely did win against his friends. i guess what i'm trying to say is that your characterization was just perfect.

i really enjoyed every aspect of this, and i think you must be aware that you're a very talented writer, so there really isn't any criticism i can come up with! i loved the humour you weaved into it, but also, like i said above, the sort of sad reality of peter's life, their competitions, their "nonlove", and i grinned like an idiot at the last bit with the obituaries.

all in all, just a wonderful one-shot :) i'm really glad you posted it in my thread!

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Review #16, by xXmalfoysgirl4everXx Light Bulb Nudity

23rd May 2008:
I like it! It was written really well, and even though it was an OC, it was a good choice for a character. There was some irony in there, which was good because it's pretty rare to find it in stories. It was an unusual character, because I really don't read stories about Peter, and this was a pretty good one that portrayed his character. Good job! 10/10

-malfoysgirl aka. ron.weasleyxo on the forums

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Review #17, by square Light Bulb Nudity

23rd May 2008:
This was very poignant! The entire piece comes off as very considered, as if you've placed every word exactly where it needs to be, and thought over your word choice very carefully. It reads almost like a poem; the sentences have a beautiful ebb and flow feel about them that adds to the strange relationship between them. I love the relationships that you establish between certain words and action, like beating and becoming. The words take on an entirely new meaning within the context of your story and it's very powerful.

The characterisation of Peter was a new one to me, but it worked well I think. Peter is a largely unknown character when it comes to his personality and what he is actually like, rather than how he acts when he's in trouble or grovelling at Lord Voldemort's feet. You've added a deeper meaning to an otherwise superficial character that really only serves as a plot device in the books, so congratulations for that. It really was a very lovely piece and I enjoyed reading it.

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Review #18, by mischiefmanaged Light Bulb Nudity

21st May 2008:
Your story summary's a little vague, but vague enough for the reader to become interesting in the story. In fact, if you didn't ask me to review this, I'd probably read and review it anyways if I saw it on the recently added list or in someone's favorites list.

Your first paragraph is different, but in a good way. It's really creative and a great way to start. The descriptions are very vivid and detailed.

I think that you did an extremely good job on Peter's characterization. I'm not a big Peter fan, but this works. A lot of people portray him as an outcast with absolutely no experience in love. Your characterization was much more realistic. I love how he states that his second toe is longer than his first. I have a friend who says that all the time to me, in fact.

I enjoyed the section where the OC and Peter argued over apple pie. I love pie. I wrote an article on pie for my school newspaper once. Did you know that in medieval times, the crust of the pie was referred to as the "coffin"?

So, umm, now that I've strayed off the topic... this was great to read. Some people may be requesting for this to be expanded into an actual story, but I think it works best just as a simple one-shot. Keep up the great work, and I can't wait to read your next story.

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Review #19, by Labby Light Bulb Nudity

21st May 2008:
I liked this a lot! Your writing style is so creative here and it was really interesting how you did this! I love that it was about Peter, as I don't read too much about Peter and his character just seems to be forgotten sometimes. I like how you've characterized him as being competitive and I like the voice of the love interest in this. Without really even describing her, you were able to describe her (if that makes any sense). You were really able to make this an emotional and entertaining piece and I really enjoyed reading it. Great job and thanks for a nice story!

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Review #20, by marinahill Light Bulb Nudity

20th May 2008:
I really really really lived this, and I dont know quite express it. your banner and summary are gorgeous, and your story is exquisite.

what I loved most about your story is that its almost like poetry! very poetic indeed, and the words didn't seem to stop flowing, which was beautiful. I got the feeling that if I stopped reading the words would go on without me. It was a very enjoyable read.

another brilliant touch was the nameless OC. quite wonderful. and being nameless made the character. and the descriptions were perfectly placed, not too much, not too little. had you waffled on about how she had blonde hair and green eyes the flow would have been distorted and ruined.

her relationship with peter was interesting, and not a common ship, so well done you on braving the unknown. I loved the competitiveness between the couple, which was marvelously written.

the last section was beautiful. The dialogue was simple but effective, and suited the mood perfectly.

it was a joy to read 10/10 :)

- marina

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Review #21, by foreverlucky14 Light Bulb Nudity

19th May 2008:
Hey. This is realize from the forum. Here is the review that you requested.

I will admit that the beginning was original. However, it was very strange. I know that several authors try to find new and creative ways to begin their stories, my dear this way just was not the right way. You had some very good description in this however. I think that you had some good emotion in the story. I think that you really manage the characters well. I think that the only thing that you need to work on is your beginning.

Overall, there were some grammar/spelling mistakes; however, you can easily take care of that by getting a beta. I would rate this story. 8.3/10

~Kara~

Author's Response: Haha, I actually think the beginning is a lot more normal than the rest of the story. And about the grammar, it's in the queue right now for edits! Thanks for the great review!

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Review #22, by Femme_Fatale Light Bulb Nudity

19th May 2008:
I love the fact that you made Peter your own. Seriously this is very well written with great descriptions. i am adding this to my favorites. 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I definitely don't think Peter gets enough love!

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Review #23, by uptowngirlinlove Light Bulb Nudity

19th May 2008:
Hello, this is uptowngirlinlove/lucretia neva from the forums filling in the request for the review.

Now, I've never seen a fic like yours around the site. I can honestly say that it's among the best in any genre, era and ships category. Firstly, the plot: brilliant choice of Peter and an OC. That's a really bold pick considering that you actually didn't place it in Hogwarts. Also, I found myself completely amazed and dazzled by the lack of action, which really is the strong point of this story. I think you wrote a one-shot with no action that is just such a wonderful lecture. I didn't even blink while reading it and I suddenly found myself panting because it was just thrilling, without the action, without purposeless dialogues or casual meddling of other characters. I don't want to be misunderstood... so when I say no action, I mean that there isn't a conflict there, other than their inner battles and their occasional competitions. It's just a genuine display of emotions ranging from oddity to a love that neither can place into a category... a category which you poetically name nonlove.

What surprised me the most was the fact that your OC is left unnamed and that is just a work of genius. It gives the reader the impression that it could have been anyone and that her identity did not matter, but rather the feelings and their endless games and competitions. I liked their obsessions with light bulbs, his refusal to make love to her sometimes, his desire to be the first in any competition and their awkward habits of counting the words that the other spoke. During her little speech concerning the words she'd count because she loved every single of it I just smirked constantly. And then I smiled to myself when I read that part when she admits that her 63 words beat 29 and as a consequence they left the light on.

I must say that the last bit with the obituary was perhaps one of the best written dialogues I have ever read so far in both fanfics and original literature. It had that oddness, those apparently unrelated topics that somehow would connect, that charm around it that made me want to read it over and over again until my eyes hurt because it was beautiful and simple and childish, yet forever complex and plausible for such an odd couple.

I've yet to fully regain from the shock at how beautifully written this one-shot is. So instead of continuing the rambling, I'd just like to add this to my favourites and rate it with the ten it deserves.

Well done!

Author's Response: Oh, gosh! I read this over and over again because it made me smile so much! I want to write a long response, but:
a. I cut my finger today and can't type well.
b. My keyboard is broken.
c. I can't come up with the right words to express how happy you made me!


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Review #24, by shadowycorner Light Bulb Nudity

19th May 2008:
This was.the word 'interesting' would be an understatement! I loved every second of reading this. It was fresh, it was funny, it was sexy, it was bitter, it was real. I really enjoyed it. The characterization of peter and his shyness at the beginning was great, very realistic. And this girl the narrator swept the reader in me off his feet. Everything about this felt so effortless, it was quite fleeting and light as a sheet on a summer morning. The races, winning and losing, the love and lust, it was wonderfully put together. Putting Peter into this story was a great choice. Somehow, I don't see any Marauder being so...amazing in this piece. Honestly, what the heck...I'm speechless. :) This is an honest opinion.

I'm almost sad this is only a one-shot.

10/10

xoxo Elizabeth

Author's Response: Awwww, thank you SO much! I really wanted to right about Peter because I just can't bring myself to hate him as much as everyone else does!

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Review #25, by Ariana_Gryffindor Light Bulb Nudity

19th May 2008:
Hi this is Ariana_Gryffindor form the forums.

First of all ca i say that your sumary and banner are simply beautiful. So on with the story. By the way your story i just as good, if i hadn't read the information i wouldnt have known this was about Peter Pettigrew, i was beautifully writen.

Maybe his competitivenss and his arrogance when he won came both from watching Sirius and James when they won or maybe just the fact that he didn't winwhen he was around them. the competitiveness and love in the stoy just made it. we...i'm not sure what to say.

This was brilliant i am adding i to my favourites
Stephanie @0o0@

Author's Response: Awww, thank you SO much for this awesome review! And so quickly, too! I'm glad you liked the summary since I have issues writing them and I've been really unsure about this one in particular! And I LOVE when people interpret characters in reviews, so thank you!

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