Very interesting concept. I love it. I'll be watching this. Report Review
Ouch... That was... Deep? Lol, nah. But it did have a big affect on me. Ive never had to re-read a fic so much to take it in. I cant believe Harry would DO something like that! But seriously, Harry doesnt seem majorly out of character to me. The thing is that it is possible if you look at his background. His bound to go insane at one point, right? But this is a novel, yeah? Being the first chapter, you have plenty of time to have those 'Harry is good' fans convinced that he can go a bit crazy. Sorry if that confused you ^_^"
I really like where this is going. Its definately not one of those typical fics you read, and everyone loves something original. The idea of a Harry gone bad interests me. And because of a kid dying... Its realistic. Ginnys characterisation was great! You captured her really well.
The flow needs a teeny bit of work. I kinda got lost (even though I use those little * things) but thats easily fixed, and doesnt really stop the story from working either, so dont get worried too much. Just my oppinion.
Overall, A brilliant first chapter! I really like the ideas you have going, Ginnys great, The flow could do with a bit of work, but everything else is wonderful! Great story so far! Report Review
awe... this was a lovely chapter.
The argument betwen ginny and harry seems a bit rushed, it would of been nicer if it was longer.
Poor Harry. =[
But its a nice chapter, cannot wait to see what the next one has!!
please update really soon!!Author's Response: Yes. I didm't want them to fight...but it was inevitable. :(
Thank you for reviewing! Report Review
Quite a few formatting errors, but I don't even care. What a brilliant idea, Ali! this story has so much going for it and I truly can't wait to read on! the pace of your prologue is truly white knuckle and your characterisation, especially considering the situation, is good. You told me how old you were a couple days back and now I don't believe! You are sooo not allowed to be a better writer than me! :P Brilliant, brilliant stuff! x x xAuthor's Response: yes...errors...I'm still in school! I'm allowed! Thanks though! You want to read on? I haven't even thought about the next chapter. Well. I thought about it. But...nothings been done.
I didn't lie though. Why would I lie? I am no way near as good as you though Andy. Plus. You win because you like the clangers. :D Report Review
ok well I think it was very well written. Harry's not really thinking of killing his son's killer's child is he? I don't get it. I'm sorry. But still good idea. Just make it more clear for the next chapter.Author's Response: Oh sorry... I'll try and fix it. :D Report Review
This is new. I love the idea of Harry being the bad guy.
I hope you update soon, this sounds like it's going to be great!Author's Response: Thank you Sammy! Report Review
This is really quite original! And original is always refreshing! There are a couple of small things I want to comment on. First, it might be nice for the formatting if you left an empty line in between when different people talk making a completely new paragraph. Then Harry and Ginny's argument seems a bit rushed. I would expect them to try to get their point through to the other a bit more than that.
Otherwise you get their emotions through nicely. Harry has a strained kind of anger and sorrow, while Ginny is mostly sad. Ron and Hermione quite characteristically try to avoid an argument with Harry. The plot is intriguing and I'm wondering what will happen next. Is he really planning mass murder? First I thought he just planned to kill the murderer, but then I started to wonder...Author's Response: yay! Original! Thanks Annina!
I'll try to fix the formatting, I see what you mean... And I suppose the fight was a little short, but I find it kind of hard to write fights. They make me sad. D:
Thank you for the compliment!
And is he planning mass-murder? To tell the truth, I'm not positively sure. I keep changing my next chapter. :D Report Review
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