Reading Reviews for Finding Luck
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by shadowycorner Madison's New Friend

27th May 2008:
I like how you describe things. In fleeting and necessary detail, mentioning various people, getting them into the story. Also the fact that Mel is friends with the Marauders is a fine touch, especially when you didn't make her one of the 'Marauderettes' as they're called (I really hate this one). Sometimes she seems a bit dramatic and maybe it wouldn't hurt to tone down the swearing a bit. I mean, this is Hogwarts, not a street in Brooklyn. Though that's only my opinion. :)

You have good writing going on and while I see the plot could use some work, it's okay for a first story. All in all a good chapter and I'll make sure to read the next one when you update.

Liz

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Review #2, by shadowycorner Hogwarts Express

27th May 2008:
"Michael's barn owl Toad, Max's toad Owl." LOL! Just lol. That was awesome.

Anyway, I liked this. The beginning was amazing, I'm really fond of Mel's family. The fact that they're all in different houses and have a special attitude will hopefully add up to the story. :) Melody as a character grabbed my attention and boy what a pottymouth for a fifteen-year-old! But people at fifteen are more likely to curse and all that, because it's such a phase. Even Harry talked most of his fifth year through CAPS lock, so all is fine.

This chapter flew by so fast, so I'll just hop on immediately on the next one. Great job so far. For a first story after such a long time you're doing a really pretty job. :)

Liz

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Review #3, by Shellee Hogwarts Express

20th April 2008:
First of all, I am gonna say that I'm not used to reading first person fictions anymore, but you've done it very well so far and intrigued me and made me laugh, good job!
Secondly, until the moment that the Marauders came into the compartment, I kind of forgot that it was a Marauders age fic, but I loved it anyways and I'm very intrigued to see how you're going to picture the foursome.
Thirdly, I hope you did not call Peter Pettigrew handsome. Heheh! Oh, I'm sure no matter what you do or how you write him, I'll hate him. He's just not a nice person, really.
Fourthly, lets get on with the rest of the review. I vaguely remember something on EHPF about you not being able to keep them all apart, I see where your trouble is, hehe. What a deal to have so many siblings. Almost a second Weasley family! I'm also not that sure about what purple nurples are, I thought they were some kind of alcoholic cocktail that's served in shotglasses. He must have some kind of fetish if that Oswald guy is willing to fling her bra into the fan. What's the use of that? Nothing would really happen then, would there? Hehe. Parker seems nice already though, like one of those friends I always liked. Melody seems like a very crazy person, just the way I like my people! Now she has her little sister to care for too, could be nice to have her in the same house, since they're so close.
Keep this up, I'm very amused and intrigued with this one so far. =)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review Shellee! I love getting feedback, especially since this is my first fic and I'm so nervous about it.
I'm glad the first person is ok. I originally had it as third, but Mel is so wacky so I thought her voice would be a good one to narrate. And it's a Marauders' era, but I really don't focus on them all too much. This isn't going to be one of the typical Sirius/OC where she's suddenly like a fifth Marauder. I hate that!
And yes, I called him handsome. I certainly think he was probably cute, like in a Neville kind of way. I just don't think that he had the inner strength that Neville does. I don't want to depict him in a bad way, because obviously he had some redeeming qualities or the Marauders would have never been friends with him.
Yeah, this almost is another Weasley family! I have always wanted to be in a family like that. I actually based it off of one of my roommate's family. She has five older brothers and one little sister, and I've always loved that idea. And the bra in the fan guy is weird. It actually happened to a friend of mine, and I just thought it was a good little anecdote to start off her crazy adventures. Oh, and a purple nurple is basically a titty twister. (Where you pinch and twist someone's nipples. It hurts like hell.)
I've submitted the second chapter and I hope it gets validated soon! So check back. =]

xo Marissa


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Review #4, by florenin2u Hogwarts Express

13th April 2008:
your first fan fic? you're so kidding me
this is amazing, you kneo i love the story, is fresh and funny, and just easy going... i like it, really do
and loved the thing about her brother's pet names, at the ebginnig i saw something wrong, but didn't get it, so read that sentence again, and then i started laughing my head off.
it was spectacular, really
well, well
i have to tell you i do LOVE your banner with all my heart
and it goes along with the story characters, so i have to give you a 10/10 for the whole thing
keep on like this
now, i'm really excited about it, want to know what happens next
the end leaves a huge cliffhanger
and i wanted to tell you that i am also writing two fan fics... one is somewhere in the fanfic world and the other is going to be posted this week hopefully... so we could eschange reviews like a secret society or something of that sort ;)
if you wanna check it up, you're welcome
hope to hear more about it SOON
cheers!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your sweet review! It's so nervewracking to put my writing out there for people to see and to get such great reviews is a huge relief! I'm really glad you like it so far and I hope you continue to enjoy it! I'll be updating very soon so keep checking back!

Marissa


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Review #5, by celticbard Hogwarts Express

9th April 2008:
I really enjoyed this. The writing was good, the dialogue realistic and Mel seems like an interesting, well-rounded character so far. The only typo I noticed was McGonagall's name. Otherwise, a very strong beginning. Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!! I've worked so hard on Mel's character because I'm trying to make her as un-cliche as possible. She's going to be a really interesting character and I will get much more in-depth with her soon. I'll be updating soon so keep checking back!

Marissa


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Review #6, by Cocoalily Hogwarts Express

6th April 2008:
Not much has atually happened so far, but it doe sound like it's going to be good. I noticed a few grammar errors and extra-long paragraphs that could be fixed, but with a good beta reader that could be easily remedied. If anything I'd suggest that because even with rereading the chapter a few times you're always bound to miss something that someone else might catch.

Keep up the good work, though, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I know about the lack of action thing, I'm trying to make the first chapter or two kind of an introductory thing. I'll be updating soon so keep checking back!

Marissa


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Review #7, by theenix Hogwarts Express

6th April 2008:
Aw wow, i really like this story so far!
I really love your characterizations!! Looking forward to the next chapter!! 10/10!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I'll be updating soon so check back. =]

Marissa


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