Reading Reviews for Hello Beautiful
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Ydnas Odell Hello Beautiful

6th May 2008:
Nice little fic. The breakthrough in their relationship might even in in JKR's mind be something like this. She seems to attracts great meaning to art.

Author's Response: thanks, but it is just how i saw it. nothing more nor less, but thanks all the same.

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Review #2, by Historyrepeats Hello Beautiful

27th April 2008:
Im loving this! Absolutely brillant! Very well-written and beautifully worded. The use of the song was also fantastically well-done.

Author's Response: Thank you, I got it as a random insight into the minds of Lily and James and my imagination did the rest.

FYI, I will be adding a preceding chapter from James' point of view of the events before their meeting on the Quidditch pitch and then a chapter or maybe two afterwards to rap it up nicely.


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Review #3, by norapotter Hello Beautiful

27th April 2008:
I really loved how you introduced us to Lily by describing her looks, it really helped to give us an image of the story. Same with when you introduced James. Many people don't do that, they assume you know. Well its always nice to be reminded, right? lol This is really great.

I know how you were saying in your summary that you might turn this into a longer thing, i think that would be great. I think its a bit hard to show Lily's sudden change in opinion about James in one chapter. I also felt as though James wasn't quit in character, it wasn't how you wrote him that was lovely, it was his sudden change into apologizing and all that politeness. I think that is also hard to show in one chapter. My suggestion (and you don't have to take this because this is really wonderful) is that it would be overall easier if you started before this scene and worked up to it. It would be more work than a one-shot, yes, but it would also make the change in their relationship less sudden. Wow i'm not even sure if i'm making any sense. I'm just making a suggestion here, you are the author and a good one at that so its your decision.

Other than that though this is really great!!! I really love the awkwardness between them, that was done beautifully. Keep up the great work (oh and please tell me if you are going to do a full story because i would be very interested in reading it.)

keep up the WONDERFUL writing.
10/10
-norapotter

Author's Response: Thank you first of all, for your support and in depth analogy of what you like and didn't like with justifications and encouragement. You are the first person to ever say so much about any of my literature.

I am glad you like my style, people in the past have been intrigued by the way i tend to write details. I have been writing for a while and have been infuenced by many books and how they are written (mostly the twilight series).

About continuing, i think i actually will. Writing a chapter previous to this and may one or two after wards. It would have to be from James' perspective (the previous chapter) to explain why the sudden change. I wrote his character like that because I remembered he had lost his parents sometime between 6th and 7th year and also he may have given his future a thought. As to a chapter or chapter following, one at least from third person on the feast and maybe another on just on James and Lily, as Heads on patrol or just sitting, but either way talking about how their lives have changed over such short a time and all.

Hey do you want to be my beta for this story?
Here's my email: violet_eyes426@yahoo.com

Again thanks so much for all you comments and input.

~ Janus Emma Lafey
(a blood traitor in Gryffindor)


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Review #4, by Legaz Hello Beautiful

25th April 2008:
wovly!! hehe, really good!! keep writing!

Author's Response: thanks for the encouragement!

but by keep writing do you mean i should do a sequel? Cause i was think of doing that.


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Review #5, by crazily in luv Hello Beautiful

24th April 2008:
awww
so cute
the part
where it
says Claifornia
should've been
changed but
othrwise it
good

Author's Response: well it was based on the jonas brother's song, 'hello beautiful' and those are the actual lyrics to the song, but yah i should have changed it to something else. thanks for the support!!


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