im really liking your story...but it needs more updates...good work...keep it going Report Review
Pretty Good. What Happens Next???Author's Response: Hi thanks for the review! Ive re-written the ending of the first chapter and added a new chapter! So please read both of these and reveiw! xx Report Review
I like your first chapter, especially the idea of Draco sending an owl to find Hermione as opposed to getting up and looking for her himself - that sounds just like something Malfoy would do! On a constructive criticism note, there were a lot of spelling and grammatical errors. You kept switching from past to present tense, sometimes in the middle of a sentence. There were several names, for example, Crookshanks, where you didn't use a capital. One that I think is really important for HP writers, is that you were misspelling character's names. Might I recommend you get a beta to help iron out these errors? hp-lexicon.org is a great website, which could help you with your canon terminology. I really think this story has potential, and I like what you've done with it this far - it is rather difficult to read, however, with the mistakes. Ironing those out will make it a much more enjoyable read. Update soon, I'm interested in where you're going to take this!Author's Response: Hi thanks for the review! Ive re-written the ending of the first chapter and added a new chapter! So please read both of these and reveiw! xx Report Review
i like it i just think u could write more!!! lol but realy i want to see them hook up u no ! hahaha lol ;)Author's Response: Hi thanks for the review! Ive re-written the ending of the first chapter and added a new chapter! So please read both of these and reveiw! xx Report Review
Yay i'm the fist review! anyway this is a really good start. I like the letter that Draco sends Hermione on the train. I have a question though. In the letter that Hermione got from Dumbledore does it tell her where the Head common room is? I like how you put in the part where Draco says Well as we are gonna see each other 24/7, i thought maybe we could be civil'. That is great. I don't hear that that often from Draco I hear that mostly from Hermione but she usually yells it at him or says it sternly. Anyway again Great start! Update soon! 10/10Author's Response: Hi thanks for the review! Ive re-written the ending of the first chapter and added a new chapter! So please read both of these and reveiw! xx Report Review
navigation
home
search HPFF read stories write stories login/register get help site links forums podcasts Terms of Service Site Rules contact us
categories & genres
Genre: - crossover - drama - fluff - general - horror/dark - humor - mystery - romance - action/adventure - angst - au - young adult
Popular Pairings: - harry/ginny - ron/hermione - james/lily - draco/hermione - more...
Format: - one-shot - short story - novella - novel - short story collection - songfic
quick links
my account ToS random story site rules help merchandise
fanfictionworld.net