Reading Reviews for Love Unrequited
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Shellee Where It All Began

9th May 2008:
Lily was a rather loved girl, it seems. So sad, really. Id on't get the last part, though. I feel bad for her, having lost Lily, for Snape too.

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Review #2, by thediarywithin Where It All Began

2nd April 2008:
Wow, that is so sad...

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Review #3, by morgana67 Where It All Began

26th March 2008:
Oh, my God, this was truly sad and certainly truly beautiful. You nearly made me cry here. Wonderful use of resources and of going back and forth in time too. Excellent work, honestly!

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Review #4, by PureBlood Muggle Where It All Began

18th March 2008:
Lovely song chosen for this Juls! And a refreshingly new angle on the Potters, showing their funeral from a friend's PoV.

Well done, you!

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Review #5, by queenspuppet Where It All Began

18th March 2008:
“As if James Potter will even ask me!” Lina laughed, her eyes still on the boy outside. While she didn't like him, she didn't dislike him either. They both shared a secret in common, and both would die before revealing it to the world.

I got a little confused about whether she was talking about James or Severus at that bit. But I think that might have been my fault and it was easy enough to clear up after a second glance.

"Salina Wallace had flowed through her life like a windstorm" Flowing and windstorm don't actually feel all that similar. Maybe a breeze might be better. Especially since Lina seems to be a mellow sort of person.

"“We both loved her, he loved her, but still she couldn't be saved,”" I'm not sure Severus would actually give James Potter that much credit. He was still pretty violently opposed to him even after their deaths.

All those little notes aside, I have to say that this was a really nice idea. And a really fair view of a slash relationship. I have something really similar in a story of my own between OC's and in general it's just nice to see a slash fic that isn't Harry/Draco or something like that.
You're really good at writing descriptions but I think you're dialogue comes off a little false, some things are just too well thought out and too sweet. But that could partly be because of the subject material being heavier than your average conversation between friends.
Still, this was a really well done one shot, giving the reader a full story, not just a vague instance. And I especially liked the ending including Harry and Ginny, that was a really great twist and very clever.
Thanks very much for the lovely read!
Maisy

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Review #6, by Labby Where It All Began

17th March 2008:
Wow.. what an emotional story.. you definitely had me forming tears. I loved it though.. it was such a great portrayal of a character that could have easily been there, but so unknown. She's such a tragic character, isn't she? Aww.. it really is sad - just beloved. I thought the style that you wrote this in was great! I loved going back and forth between the flashbacks, really getting a story, even with them. It just was done in a really awesome way.. great job with that! I loved the ending (though probably the part that gave me the tears), where Harry and Ginny were added. I guess it's nice that she got a little bit of attention there at the end. Awesome job with this story - I love it!

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Review #7, by ElissandrAnne Where It All Began

16th March 2008:
Juls,

It is such a bittersweet story! Your first Marauders, I think, and you brought tears to my eyes. Just the idea of those two, Salina and Severus, saying goodbye, was enough. Oh, well... I guess I shouldn't read that kind of story if I cannot do it without crying. But then again, it's a compliment to your writing. :)

So sad... to the end. I do like how you wove this story. Of course, there is a little part from Severus' point of view. (smile) I guess you couldn't help it. The story flows, from 'present' to past, and ends in another 'present'. I'm glad you were challenged to write this piece.

Once again, good job! :D

Huggles,

-Anne

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Review #8, by mugglelovinfool Where It All Began

16th March 2008:
its good but i dont get it is lina a lesbian

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