Reading Reviews for The Fifth Cohort
  
22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Brandy Probably Just a Lack of Duelling Practise

5th April 2014:
I laughed out loud at the idea of a Death Eater being allowed to do anything for the Ministry. I think I have to stop here.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I've always thought of Draco as a rather reluctant Death Eater, despite what he might have claimed and there would be many needing to be brought back into the fold. Besides, Draco/Harry interactions are always fun to write and I rather liked the parts later in this story where Draco's involvement with the Cozen is revealed and then used by Harry to his advantage. Thanks again.

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Review #2, by Lexi Black Epilogue: The Gift

3rd January 2012:
I loved this story soo much. Personally I think it should get alot of recognition or some award but who am I to call the shots? You truly have a gift at writing and I hope you continue to write such amazing stories. XD

Author's Response: Thanks. Ha! I'm not sure about that but I do appreciate the encouragement. About time I finished my next one, isn't it? Thanks again.

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Review #3, by Lexi Black Complimentary Axes

3rd January 2012:
I'm loving Harry so far. It's not like in some stories where he's completely different its like It's Harry only happier and older. XD

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Review #4, by Lexi Black Prologue – Biscuits and Burnt Desks

3rd January 2012:
I love the beginning of this, it really draws the reader in. I've only managed that with a few of my stories but yours is brilliant. Well done on your first chapter XD

Author's Response: Thanks. I do struggle with opening stories, as it's often difficult to strike a balance between setting the scene and starting the story off proper. Thanks again.

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Review #5, by Alex The Price of Loyalty

11th May 2009:
To comment on the Author's Note at the end, yes, Boggarts have spoken. We have not heard them, but in PoA Hermione comes out of the trunk in the DADA practical saying that Professor McGonagall (who was a boggart in the trunk) had told her she failed everything.

Author's Response: Thanks. Well remembered, indeed!

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Review #6, by Marc How Could They Print Such Lies?

11th June 2008:
Nice chapter. I like the idea of Harry playing doctor. This is becomeing a good police story. Keep it up.

Marc

Author's Response: Thanks. Ha! Harry’s First Aid skills will be called upon later on too, not that his patient will be very grateful.

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Review #7, by Marc Probably Just a Lack of Duelling Practise

3rd June 2008:
Ok. Good chapter. I did catch a few typos, this seems to be my bane as well. I found that if I read the chapter three times I can catch them before they silp by. Can we say paranoia? I like the way that you're trying to rehabilitate Draco. I assume that the next chapter will pick up in speed and intensity. As always, can't wait until the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks. Yes, apologies everyone. I was having desperate problems with the formatting for some reason (my end probably) and I think I pressed submit too soon. I’ll try and do better, and now that the validation queue seems to be shortening there may be more opportunities to go back with corrections. I think my “queue time” will be better value with new chapters rather than used for corrections for the moment.

The relationship between Harry and Draco is an important part of the story, and the idea came from that awkward nod at the end of DH. The pair are formal and distant but still courteous as far as the public is concerned, but what if there was something more? Not friendship, as such, but perhaps the memory of an alliance.


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Review #8, by CRW Probably Just a Lack of Duelling Practise

3rd June 2008:
"Mr Baron has expressed the opinion that they are not answerable to this Department nor indeed the Minister nor the Wizengamot."

Since Hermione is head of Magical Law Enforcement, why can't she simply bar Baron from any part of the MLE or area under her jurisdiction which isn't a public area since he won't provide any information that shows that he is part of MLE and what his responsibilities are? Since they refuse to provide ID, why not have his "goons" arrested for trespassing? Surely Hermione can think up all sorts of ways to impede Baron.

So he is claiming that he isn't answerable to the government? Kingsley test that statement by firing him for insubordination and boot him out of his office.

If she didn't lift Baron's suspension and Kingsley didn't then who else has the authority to do so?

With regard to the Cozen, one of the best weapons against them is public exposure. Even if Hermione can't find any charges to bring against its members, she will have drastically cut their influence. What did the Cozen do while Voldemort was in charge of the MoM? Did they actively oppose him? To what extent did its members collaborate with him?

Author's Response: Thanks. I’d prefer to try to answer without adding any spoilers, so apologies if I’m not as forthright as I could be. Addressing each paragraph in order:-

Hermione was paraphrasing here, so we don’t know exactly what Baron said. Indeed, we don’t know if she was even present when he said it. The key point is, Baron has circumvented Hermione’s authority and she isn’t going to let that lie.

Harry suspects they only pretend to have an office in the Ministry, so prohibiting them might not have much effect. As Hermione worked out before, Baron and his department have some form of magical protection. The fact that their identities are hidden is all part of this, and I’m assuming this protection will give them “passage” for the time being. I suspect any dismissal at this stage will be just as ineffectual as a suspension.

Let’s assume that Baron’s distant predecessors had some legitimate mission that required them to work in complete secrecy (ie they were spies). It is likely that in the past, some Ministers were considered a security risk and therefore the spies needed to make themselves independent of Ministry interference. This might work provided the spies remained totally trustworthy. Today, Baron is effectively above the law and his people are invisible in terms of ID. There have been hints that Kingsley has taken steps to rectify this by putting Harry on a collision course with Baron.

Maybe Kingsley had no choice or maybe Baron lifted the suspension on his own. Remember, Kingsley hasn’t been able to discuss Baron’s legitimate work with Harry (nor, we should assume, anyone else.) We don’t yet know Baron’s authority nor who he should answer to. Hermione suspects Baron should be working for her, but with the protections in place he could perhaps just ignore her orders. If Harry’s instincts that Baron has gone bad are correct, that could be quite a problem.

Facts and myths about the Cozen will come out in future Chapters, but of course you are quite right about the exposure angle. There’s a sort of twist here that I’m keen not to spoil, so I hope you’ll forgive me for not answering fully here. These are great questions and I’ll try to get these last points asked and answered in the text. Thanks again.


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Review #9, by Marc Where are our Offices?

30th May 2008:
Good chapter. Are you trying to imporve Draco's lot in life? I'm in a hurry to see how the next chapter runs. Keep it going.

Author's Response: Thanks. Ha! I suspect at this point Harry didn’t know himself why he decided to deputise (ie trust) Draco, but I think in the back of his mind he would have been concerned that the drinking was an indication that something was wrong. Harry would help Draco if he could, even knowing he wouldn’t show much gratitude. However, Draco’s perspective on things isn’t at all clear so far.

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Review #10, by Marc I Thought You’d be Pleased

21st May 2008:
This was your best chapter yet. Cliffy, really now. I await your next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks. Ha! I’ve extended the Epilogue (mainly so that Ollivander can try and explain a few things) and a certain beast may well put in an unexpected appearance then.

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Review #11, by Severus my hero Flowers

7th May 2008:
I loved this chapter more than any other. Your story is sure getting better and better. Wonderful job on this one.

P.S. I thought you were going to make James something of a squib, I loved this take though. Did I say it was all wonderful!

Author's Response: Thanks. Sorry if I wasn’t clear before (probably trying too hard not to spoil!) Clearly, James will be magical enough to get his Hogwarts letter. The idea is that right now he’s worried he might be a squib because (before Ollivander’s test) he has never done anything magical. We now know Ollivander thinks he can make a real wand that would be prepared to accept James as its master. James, naturally, still has some doubt.

The idea is that (beyond this story) James will indeed grow to become a powerful wizard, if one in the shadow of his more talented brother. Anyway, perhaps that’s for another story!

Glad you are enjoying the story. I was quite pleased with this chapter, but for me some of the Draco/Harry exchanges to come have the edge.


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Review #12, by Severus my hero A New Challenge

7th May 2008:
Ok you have finally got the pace going, great job on that!

Author's Response: Thanks. Ha!

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Review #13, by Marc The Price of Loyalty

22nd April 2008:
Good chapter. James seems to be quite capable. Perhaps he could try his hand in duleing one of the Aurors to see what it's like. This is just a thought.

Author's Response: Thanks. That’s quite an astute thought, actually! Just to clarify, although most of the Aurors were indeed a sorry bunch, James has never performed any magic up to this point (something that bothers him more than he wishes to admit). He won’t be expecting to actually join in with any of the duelling to come, however Aberforth may have other ideas ...

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Review #14, by CRW He’s Been Waiting for You

20th April 2008:
So Harry shouldn't have been concerned about corruption and murder in Magical Law Enforcement? I guess it's his muggle upbringing that makes him take matters like those seriously. He obviously still doesn't understand wizarding society.

Should the Head Auror or Head of the MLE be someone shown to be susceptible to the Imperious curse?

Author's Response: Thanks. Harry might not have been satisfied with his efforts to bring McForlan’s murderers to justice, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t effective in bringing much needed changes (we’ll see some of those later). In doing so, he made many enemies who didn’t want the Ministry’s problems made public.

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Review #15, by CRW A Social Visit

20th April 2008:
James received a good lesson when he's old enough to understand it and young enough to be absorb it into his character.

Is Mrs. McForlan a squib/muggle? She doesn't seem to use magic and there was no sign of a wand, but it may be that she was always too poor to buy one.

"proud and stubborn" They should get Molly to talk with her. I think that Molly would be better at persuading Mrs. McForlan although the Weasleys always had enough money, if barely for the necessities and occasional minor luxuries. Can't Harry find her better paying work?

Author's Response: Thanks. We’ll see James grow up a little in this story. Aberforth has already marked him out and Ollivander will shortly place a greater burden of expectation on him. I’m considering expanding the epilogue to explore this, actually.

Ha! Actually, I rather think they would have kept Mrs Weasley away. She might not have been patient enough. As it is, Harry waited until he was sure Mrs McForlan was ready to accept help. She is a witch, but has all but abandoned her magic during her period of mourning (and, perhaps, something more?) I rather thought her depression was magically assisting the dilapidations of the house. Home working options will be limited and trusting a childminder would be out of the question.


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Review #16, by CRW The Price of Loyalty

20th April 2008:
Good chapter. One would think that after knowing Harry for so long, Kingsley and Ron would know that the problem with leaving him out of the loop is that he has the habit of doing the completely unexpected.

Kingsley needs to create the position of Inspector General (US meaning of the term) and appoint Harry to it. He's the ideal candidate: smart, powerful, tenacious, incorruptible. Hermione would also be a good choice for the job. Many of the problems that afflicted the Ministry before Voldemort's defeat remain. Voldemort easily took control of the Ministry with little opposition and much cooperation from the bureaucracy. The culture that lay behind that abdication of responsibility remains. So what did Mr. Baron do during the war?

Author's Response: Thanks. As I’ve hinted, Harry has quite a reputation now. Kingsley was taking quite a risk with Harry, and he’ll need to be careful how he tries to get Harry back in his side.

For now, a reluctant Hermione will get the top job. You are spot on with the abdication of responsibility, and the story will touch a little on both Harry’s resentment and his ongoing efforts to reform those who should have taken a stand. Harry has no idea what Baron really did/does but will explain his suspicions to Hermione later.


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Review #17, by CRW He’s Been Waiting for You

20th April 2008:
So Harry shouldn't have been concerned about corruption and murder in Magical Law Enforcement? I guess it's his muggle upbringing that makes him take matters like those seriously. He obviously still doesn't understand wizarding society.

Should the Head Auror or Head of the MLE be someone shown to be susceptible to the Imperious curse?

Author's Response: Thanks. Harry is quite right to be concerned, of course, but I think Kingsley would have needed to be a little pragmatic in some of his appointments. Thicknesse is a tarnished but experienced Ministry man who still commands some loyalty from those that knew him well.

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Review #18, by Severus my hero The Price of Loyalty

19th April 2008:
interesting, but I still think you are going a bit slow.

Author's Response: Thanks. Oh, well.

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Review #19, by Severus my hero A Social Visit

11th April 2008:
I love your story but it is going a tinsy bit too slow for me. I hope that you would increase the pace of the plot soon. Anyways keep up the good work! :)

Author's Response: Thanks. Well, the whole of the next chapter (“The Price of Loyalty” – in for validation) takes place over only a few minutes! I know the story pace can be difficult to get right, especially at the beginning. In this case I didn’t want the start to be too frenetic or Harry would miss too much and not have time to properly consider key characters like James, Jenny and her mother (and even the absent Thicknesse). Thanks again.

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Review #20, by Marc Complimentary Axes

6th April 2008:
This is an interesting idea. What happens if a magic child shows strong power before they're properly trained to use them. Are the parents responsible for any death or destruction done by the child. If it's to sever can their magic be removed or blocked, to keep them from duing any magic. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks. Interestingly, Harry hears how James fears Albus might be provoked into doing magic at the Muggle school in the next Chapter (in for validation). I hadn’t considered the consequences, though. In this story, Harry doesn’t believe Albus would wilfully do harm to others and I think that is the key. Intentional harm would be treated more seriously than accidental harm. I also think the child would be responsible for their actions, even if that responsibility was held to be diminished due to their age and abilities. I also think that Ariana showed us that blocking the magic could do more harm than good.

This particular story is more about James (and his fears that he may be a squib) than the clever and talented Albus, but this is certainly something to think about. Thanks again.


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Review #21, by Severus my hero He’s Been Waiting for You

29th March 2008:
I really like this story, I hope that you will update soon. I really think that your story has started out very well. Good luck with the rest!

Author's Response: Thanks. I wanted to give a feel for their background lives (and bury a few clues!) before things start to happen, and the next Chapter will continue that.

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Review #22, by Marc He’s Been Waiting for You

22nd March 2008:
Nice story so far. I can't wait for the next chapter. I like the interactions between the kids and Kingsley. Keep it going.

Author's Response: Thanks. I was keen to establish Kingsley as someone who has remained close to the family whilst perhaps a little distance has grown between them in terms of work (more of that later). Next chapter will be in for validation shortly.

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