Reading Reviews for Our Little Visitor
  
21 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Cuddly_Crookshanks Chapter Thirteen: Disbelief, Shock, Plan Of Action

29th October 2010:
ARGH! WHAT'S HAPPENED TO THEM??? WHERRE'S GINNY? WHAT HAPPENED TO LILY? IS JAMES REALLY DEAD? YOU- YOU- YOU- ARGHHH!!! UPDATE!!! UPDATE!

Author's Response: Aw thanks so much! I'm so glad you're still enjoying it lol : ) And you're gonna have to wait and see!

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Review #2, by Cuddly_Crookshanks Chapter Eleven: Civility Crumbles

21st August 2010:
Awww! Ginny and Harry are such a lovely couple! Now, I am EXTREMELY ready to find out who framed Harry! Just so you know. 10/10 :)

Author's Response: hahaha I'm so pleased you still like this! I wrote this story years ago and nearly took it down because not many liked it loll Chapter 13 is coming up soon thank you : )

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Review #3, by Cuddly_Crookshanks Chapter Ten: St. Mungos

21st August 2010:
I feel so sorry for Astoria! Losing a son, and nearly her husband. The ice-cream scene is really sweet! Update soon!

Author's Response: I know, me too! : ( Oh wicked, glad you liked that one lol

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Review #4, by Cuddly_Crookshanks Chapter Nine: The Shadow Of A Man

21st August 2010:
Is there someone wondering around drinking polyjuice potion pretending to be Malfoy? I shall find out now! :) 10/10

Author's Response: hahahah wouldn't you like to know ; ) 10/10 Awww? Shucks!

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Review #5, by Cuddly_Crookshanks Chapter Eight: Two Visits

15th August 2010:
ARGGGHHH!!! What's going on?!?!? Is the Nanny evil? Is Harry mad? Am I intruiged? YES! Next chapter please!!! 10/10

Author's Response: hahahah wouldn't you like to know!? ; ) I'm gonna put two up for you for your dedication : ) Thank you again!

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Review #6, by Cuddly_Crookshanks Chapter Seven: A Small Tragedy

12th August 2010:
NO! Is he really dead? If he is, HOW COULD YOU?!?!?! He is an innocent CHILD!!! Your a BAD person, Snitchsista! Na, just kidding! You're probably NOT a bad person, but, no offense, your a bloody depressing author! 10/10 :)

Author's Response: Had to happen, sorry! No I'm not a bad person I just thrive off depressing things in fanfiction because there's so much you can do with it : ) Hope you stick by with me till the end loll Awww thanks!

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Review #7, by sidnandragin Chapter Six: The New Nanny

12th August 2010:
I am enjoying this story but hoping that soon you will show Draco that he can be all that and then some for his son. Obviously, Draco must have spoken about Harry to his son to know all that there is to know about Harry.
When will the "children" (Draco, Harry & Ron) play nicely together? Will Ginny turn all Molly and speak to the boys with Astoria & Hermione backing her? I look forward to the next chapter. I can't wait til Scorpius turns his attention to Draco. I hope that Draco will soon find a way to reconnect with his son.

Author's Response: Well, you will see but I'm not going to spoil anything. What happens next is pivital for the plot of this story. I'm not saying a word (Ton-tongue toffee style :P) Thanks for your review : )

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Review #8, by Cuddly_Crookshanks Chapter Six: The New Nanny

11th August 2010:
Hmm. Scorpius seems to be in a bit of a downward spiral, doesn't he? It's a shame that he's so young, yet so upset. Great writing ( as usual! ), thanks for updating so quickly!!! :)

Author's Response: Hahahah I be a fast writer loll, no not really. I have all of the chapters written, I wrote them ages back. so I'm posting them up each day. I'm so glad you still like them. It is wicked.!

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Review #9, by Cuddly_Crookshanks Chapter Four: The 'S' word

8th August 2010:
Ha ha ha! Great story! You've got Malfoy's personality down perfectly! The others too, of course! 10/10 Update soon!

Author's Response: Hahahah thanks very much. I'll update just for you!

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Review #10, by Gords7015 Chapter Two: Four Days Later

24th March 2008:
Alright, I like seeing where Draco is coming from in this chapter, but really, like I said, we need some more back story here to really accept whats happened in the story! Otherwise, I think that you've done a pretty good job here of setting the stage for a good story! Good luck with it!

Author's Response: Thanks very much for another wonderful, constructive, critical review. :) They've really helped me loads, and thanks too for liking where I'm going with this! I've already written all of it, so it's just a case of posting up chapters!

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Review #11, by Gords7015 A Boy On Our Doorstep

24th March 2008:
Hello, sorry it took me so long to get here to review, but I was away from my computer for Easter and the like!

Ok, onto this story. There are some grammar issues here that need to be sorted (in the beginning, you have the wrong word a few times, and some spelling errors).

Otherwise, I think that this story begins questions that need to be answered. I think that Harry is mostly painted as is, but I think Draco is a bit strange. I know its your story, but you need to explain why he is acting as he is. He over reacts to Harry being there, so does that mean that people have been taking advantage of him. He is in a small house, so did he lose the family money. What does he do for work? These are all details that ought to be filled in so that people can undestand why he acts as he does.

Otherwise, nice beginning!

Author's Response: No worries, take all the time you want! :)

Oops, grammar issues? You serious? Well, obviously otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned them. Hee hee. Ok, thanks.

Draco, Draco, Draco........... how many years have I tried in vain to characterise him. I have written him for going on eight years, and I can never seem to get him relatively canon enough. Despite my past strong views on the Malfoy's not building their own life, and not fighting Harry- I seem to have swung the other way now! Thanks for your comments on his character. They've been really helpful. The only reason he over-reacts is because he never thought he would see Harry again, in his life. He's so surprised and has to begrudgingly accept that Potter is standing in his house, in his kitchen! It takes a lot out of him! Lolll. I can't answer everything here, as things are explained later on in the fic, but thanks once more, Gords7015! You've been really helpful.

Thanks very much!


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Review #12, by Rose Wilts Chapter Two: Four Days Later

20th March 2008:
Greetings! Another great chapter. I really loved Harry's verbal attack on Draco. Ha ha, Harry Power!
The dialogue flows really well in this fic, I just noticed. Maybe that's why I like it so much? It's wonderful anyway.
Scorpius was sweet again, and Astoria surprised me, once more. It was a fantastic second chapter. I won't read ony more for the time being, but I certainly will later.
This fic has so much promise, potential and originality it almost isn't funny, ha ha (but I'm laughing anyway)
Beautiful work :)

Rose

Author's Response: Greetings to you as well! Ha ha. Thanks. Harry Power, I love that phrase!

Thanks again. It's absolutely essential to me that a fic flows. If it doesn't have a certain rhythm, then I just ignore it. :)
Thanks! Yes, I admit, he is quite. I like Astoria, she has a certain quality about her. She's just a really nice woman. I thought it would be good to match Draco with someone who could try to iron out the creases of his past. Whether it will work or not remains the question which I do have the answer for, just not yet ***sly smile***
Thanks so very much, Rose! It means tons.
Beautiful review :)

Rachel


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Review #13, by Rose Wilts A Boy On Our Doorstep

20th March 2008:
Hello there! Well I thought that was...lovely. Scorpius IS very cute, and so far, characterized interestingly. It'll be intriging to see how he changes as he gets older I think.
I liked how you put across Astoria too. It was really different. I was expecting her to be all 'get away from my son you creep!' sort of behaviour. This made for a pleasant change. Ha ha.
It was sort of touching, the end how Draco chakes Harry's hand. I really liked thi first chapter. I wasn't wrong when I said I thought it would be good :) Bravo! *applause*
I think I shall read on now :) He he toodles.

Rose

Author's Response: Hello Rose!! Thank you very much for your review on my story. LOLL, you're another person who loves Scorpius. I love that you do, I just find him quite annoying! Hee hee. Nah, love him too.
Yes, well I just assumed that she would be very different to Pansy, so would maybe appreciate Harry instead of fear and abhor him? Thanks!
Touching? Lollll. Harry and Draco won't ever be friends though, just so we're clear, everyone! ****Everyone must know by now that I am a massive supporter of their rivalry****
Thanks!

Rachel


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Review #14, by vampcat Chapter Two: Four Days Later

18th March 2008:
WAHOOO! GREAT FANFIC! LOVE IT!! *stared at for crying at computer screen* TEARS OF JOY I SHED!!! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much!!!!! That's so good to hear. Oh no, don't cry! Well, I guess that meant it was kind of sweet then, and had effect. :) Oh no, and someone stared at you when you did???? 10/10 for your awesome review, lolll.

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Review #15, by rosai_gryffindor Chapter Two: Four Days Later

18th March 2008:
tee hee hee! draco is softening! lol! bless him! :D

fantastic chapter!! i am really enjoying reading this story, it is refreshing from the usual plots i read, and as i said before, i love little scorpius, he is sooo cute! and your writing has a wonderful flow to it, keeping me engrossed all the way through. i love the interaction between harry and malfoy, and i like how harry stood up to him and said all that stuff even though it could have infuriated him! and malfoy actually confessing his thoughts to harry! wow! lol, you really do have a feel for the two characters and how they are protrayed.

cant wait for more! update again soon!!

Rose :)

Author's Response: lolll, I wouldn't say 'softening', but he knows he's in the wrong, certainly. :D I love Draco too, he's such an arrogant prat.

Thanks! Yes, I wanted to do my first ever Next Gen, but it was absolutely essential not to do anything cliche.

Do you? I find him annoying sometimes actually, but that's probably cause of his excitable nature. I love him too though.

The intereaction between Harry and Malfoy is something that I was absolutely desperate to do well. I tried as hard as I could to put across the canon characteristics, and stick as close to Rowling's portrayal of them in the books. I love their rivalry, but in my past fics, (I was young and nieve) I made their hatred surreal, sometimes turning them obsessively against eachother. Good times..... lol!!!!

Yeah, Malfoy's confessing because he knows that if he doesn't, he would have had to lie to his wife, and he doesn't want that. He hates Harry still, he just- knows that he's right.

Thanks so very much!!!

Rachel :)



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Review #16, by RachL Chapter Two: Four Days Later

17th March 2008:
AMAZING! no other word for it, next chapter plz! lol

Author's Response: LOLL, Hiya RachL!!! Thanks so much. The next chapter will be posted for validation after chapter seven of 'Conscience is a sin.'

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Review #17, by Padfoot36 Chapter Two: Four Days Later

17th March 2008:
This is really good - and unique! Can't wait to see more.

Author's Response: Thanks so much!!!! I've written all of it, so it's just a case of posting it bit by bit. The next chapter is going to be put forward for validation after an update of an old fic that I've also written all of. :) Thanks again, and you've added it to your favs? Wow! I'm glad you said it was unique, that's exactly what I was going for, trying to steer away from cliches. Hee hee.

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Review #18, by rosai_gryffindor A Boy On Our Doorstep

17th March 2008:
hey there! i thought id come review one of your stories for you! :D and seeing as there were so many, just picked the first on the list, as the summary also intrigued me!

and i love it! i really do, scorpius is just so cute! and i love the baby voice that harry puts on when dealing with the kids! and although malfoy is still being a complete git, i like his wife, and i think he is perfectly in character to be like that, though i bet its all just show!

id love to read more of this! so i hope you update on it soon!

Rose :)

Author's Response: Hiya, thanks so much. :) Oh, I'm so glad you liked this, as I've written all of it, and, (like you on the Snape one), am really proud of it.

I'm so happy!!!! Do you like Scorpius? Ha ha. Thanks. He is kind of sweet. Yes, the baby voice Harry puts on I thought sort of emphasised the fact that when adults speak to kids, everything has to be pronounced correctly.

You'll see about Malfoy. I've really strived to keep him in character for this story, as in my past ones, he has been shall we say, somewhat psychotic? Hee hee.

Thanks again, so very much!!! Chapter two might be up tommorrow actually!

Rachel :)


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Review #19, by D i a A Boy On Our Doorstep

12th March 2008:
Interesting. But the question I mostly want to ask after reading this is, when's your novel being published? Because with a writing style like this you definitely have the potential to be professional write - if that's what you want to be.

Well, about the story itself: Interesting that it's written in present tense, I know how difficult that it to write, but it also gives the story a lot of presense. Like the reader is in the very same place as your maincharacter and living everything with them, discovering things at the same time as they do.
Also interesting because you chose to have that beginning where it seems very much like Harry is looking back and then you write the story in present anyway.

One thing that annoys my eye though are these: "." - the appropirate number of those is three or four, and anything above that makes me twitch.

"I helped you, you helped me, I'm thankful, you're thankful, gold medals all round" - this sounded so much like Jack Sparrow from Pirates, I can just hear him say it...

I'm amazed about how well you write about small children, like Scorpicus. I think most people have a tendency to either make them much more mature than they actually are or make them much more childish, and as far as I can see you've done niether. But I do not claim to be a child expert, as I don't really like children;)
The point here being that the characterization of Scorpicus was well written.

It weird that they are all adults now with families and such, but everyone grows up at some point.
I think it's striking how much Ginny seems to resemble Molly; she offers Scorpicus cookies almost as her first reaction to his presense. That sounds very much like Molly. Great detail by the way, I also imagine that Ginny would be a bit like her mother when she grows up.

I'm wondering why Draco lives in a dump, I never imagined that he would end up there, but i guess you have some clever explanation for that later in the story. It just seems so un-Dracoish to live somewhere not pretty. He sort of belongs in a manor, I guess people change.

I'm not exactly sure what to think of Harry, as you know he's not exactly my favorite character when it comes to fanfiction. He seems very mature and family-ish here and I find that hard to connect to the young boy we hear about in HP, but of course he must grow up to and this version of him is just as plausible as anything else. It must be difficult to figure out who he is as an adult, because in the books he never really talk about the future other than meeting Voldemort sometime later on the year. We don't know if he actually wants to be the family dad or if he'd rather go out into the would and hunt for adventures...

I think I'll stop talking now, because I think I'mstarting to ramble. Hope you find some sense and something useful in all of this.

/D i a

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review, Dia. I've left you one, but I'm afraid it's no way near as long as yours, lol.

Anyway, as to your first question...... I am currently writing a children's original story, but the thing is, it's really hard to explain but I keep being drawn back to fanfiction. I've been a member since March 2006, and am just hopelessly, wonderfully addicted. I love it. So, I'm going to write the rest of my original, but, um, not yet!! :) Thank you loads for thinking that I could be a writer. That means so much! I'm on a creative writing course at University, so it's just fantastic to hear you say that!

It's strange.... my lecturer said that too. However, I love to write in present tense and find it really easy (unless I do it all wrong, lol) but judging by your positive opinion, I'm guessing you liked it.

Don't you like speech marks, lol? I love them, maybe it's because to me it makes the characters come alive, but no, I know what you're implying. It must be annoying if you see loads of them, in a massive cluster. :) Thanks Dia!

That Jack Sparrow reference made me laugh, but yes, it's so true!!!! I can really envision him saying that. That made me hoot!

Yes, I don't know how I 'Muggle' through it, to be honest (hee hee) but I think it's cause I have young cousins, and possibly have read a lot of family fics on here, which has helped me considerably on the characterisation front. Either way, thanks again! I like children, but only from four years plus. Babies always laugh at me, but I'm always a little nervous around them. I don't know. I never know how to act around them.

Oh yes, good point! I never really thought about that before, but you're right. I can see Molly doing the same thing definetely, but maybe my subconscious side knew this, and that's why I wrote it.

Yes, Draco living in a dump, well to be honest, it isn't explained that well in the fic, but- you'll see. I might have to edit something actually.

Yes, I see what you mean. Harry's a difficult character to write, and maybe I made him too much the 'family man' but I wanted to convey a sense of maturity to Ginny, and his kids.

Well, thank you very very much, Dia!

Snitchsista





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Review #20, by morgana67 A Boy On Our Doorstep

12th March 2008:
Interesting beginning. So many questions, so much I want to know, why is Draco living in a dump? Why did little Scorpius pop round their place? How did he even know where they lived? It seems as if Narcissa has been telling him stuff, maybe even Astoria.

The characterisation I must think about it a lot because at the moment my first impression is that Draco seems scared of Harry. Now, I'm sure there is an explanation as to why, that's why I find it hard to comment on characterisation until the story unfolds a bit more. Harry seems ok. Astoria, of course is completely unchartered territory but she seems very keen on getting Harry and Draco to make up. I'm sure a lot of these questions will get answered in the following chapters.

Very gripping chapter though. I really, really wanted Harry to stay and meet Draco. I thought he was going to go and I though, no, now I'm going to have to wait for an update.

Very interesting and intriguing so far. By the way thank you for reviewing my latest chapter too. Hugs x

Author's Response: Thanks for popping round, Morgana. :) Yes, there are a lot of questions, but don't worry- all will be answered in the story. I've completely finished it, so once again, it's a case of posting the chapters up.

Thanks for pointing out that Draco seemed afraid of Harry. I know what you're confusing his fear with, actually. You see, Draco's 'tone of surprise' is in fact exactly that, surprise. He's not scared, he's just, shocked. Never would he have thought Harry Potter would just stroll into his house. He swore he wouldn't see him again, ever- and that's the way he liked it.

I'm glad you think Harry's characterisation is ok, as I love writing him, and would hate to find that I wasn't doing it as canon as possible. I know now also why you thought Draco was scared of him, because Harry asked 'What are you afraid of, Draco?' In reality, he's just a little shocked and uncomfortable at the situation. I would be, if that happened to me! What would you say? What would you do?

Astoria was another character who I really went for, in terms of making her human. I imagined that after the battle, Draco wouldn't have gone with Pansy, because of what she reminded him of, suring the siege of the Dark Lord. I didn't want Astoria to be your 'typical Slytherin', so I kind of merged her formal character with many other layers. I wanted her to be the one postive out-look for Draco, as well as their child. Love being the key to redeeming a little, is vital for this fic.

Thanks very much for your review. Chapter two was posted for validation two days ago.

Hugs x


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Review #21, by Good Blob A Boy On Our Doorstep

11th March 2008:
Thanks for getting me to read this one, I really enjoyed it. Your use of language was infuriatingly good. Well done on that account!! Simply tremendous :)

Author's Response: That's alright, lol!! I love the penname! :) Thought you might like this, and you did. Oh, thanks so much. Yeah, I've been experimenting with language for this, seeing what works, and what doesnt!!! Thanks again.

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