This is so sweet, just an amazing one-shot!Author's Response: Thank you so much! Glad you liked it and furthermore reviewed!
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Oh I love it. So tense and the feeling of being trapped in the moment is so real.Author's Response: whooo thanks so much for all your reviews hun! Love ya *hugs* Report Review
Hmm.. This was cute! :) I liked it, though I didn't really understand what Remus and Sirius was to each other?? Maybe you should clarify that?? And what had happened?? I for one would want to know that..
You write good and all that, but yes I could somehow feel that it was your first slash and of course you couldn't make that perfect! :D It's a very hard way to write for me at least and I think you did it well..
I've read better, but I've certainly also read worse, so it is more than an avarege story.. I've never read this ship though.. Interestning.. Though I hate stories that messes with relationships I already know from the books.. They don't bother me if it's Hogwarts-era og post-Hogwarts, but in marauder's era it does because I know that Frank and Alice would have to be alive for Neville to live.. I hope that made sense??
But anyhow.. I liked you story! :)
PingoAuthor's Response: lol. Hey! Sorry I took so long to respond. I'm glad you liked it! I kinda knew you had high standards that's why I requested a review from you ^_^. Well I'm a Sirius/Remus shipper so in this, Sirius actually liked Remus. lol If you're referring to if they kissed or if Sirius kissed him back (im not sure if i put that in or not) but if you mean that they do kiss but only because Frank looked a little like Remus. Therefore Frank was only allowed that moment because of that. He does settle for Alice though because well, like I said, Sirius has eyes for someone else.
I know what you mean! Like James choosing someone else instead of Lily, because they have to be together because Harry is alive ;D and I agree. Thats why I had Sirius like someone else so that even though Frank likes him there will be nothing there and he'll have to go to Alice whether hes 100 percent for it or not.
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it!
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I don't usually read slash, especially if it's involving Sirius (which it usually is) because I love Sirius to death and the thought that he wouldn't want me is just devastating.
But then there are those once in a blue moon situations where I read it. I've never read a Sirius/Frank story though. That's very original. I can see that as a lot more realistic than Sirius/Remus... something there just didn't fit.
I think the way you handled this pairing was really good. The way that Sirius pulled away and tensed and everything was great because that is what would REALLY happen. It made it a lot more believable to see the character confused and not really sure about things.
I thought it was interesting that it was from Frank's perspective and that he was unsure about it. I thought it was also good that we didn't really know what Sirius was feeling, for Frank or for Remus. We just got hints from what Frank was observing. I thought that leaving it a bit ambiguous was really good.
I thought the characterization was good, and I liked the fact that there wasn't that much dialogue and that most of the story relied on thoughts and feelings.
Overall, a pretty good job. :)
Though I still can help but despair at the thought that Sirius wouldn't want me! haha
NellieAuthor's Response: Hi! lol. Aww don't worry, I'm sure he'd want you, I love him too ;). I find that Sirius is written better when he's done in a slash fic. When he;s written with a female, authors tend to make him too cliche and that annoys me to no end. I'd write him with a female for you if you'd like =D
I've read a lot of slash where the characters start snogging each others face off and it's so unbelievable that I laugh, honestly.
I honestly didn't want to give away anything. I didn't want to give any indication about what Sirius was feeling so that the readers could draw their own conclusion. I'm weak at dialogue haha, but I found that in a tense situation like this dialogue was somewhat unnecessary.
Thanks for the review! Go lovers of padfoot! *hugz*
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Wow, I really liked that! I don't read too much slash and I think you did an awesome job with it! I just loved the point of view you used. You made Frank such an interesting character and I definitely think you have a great voice going with him. I love the description you've used throughout the whole story too, especially the beginning. The details are vivid and it's easy to see this happening. I also like how Frank describes him so much and how much he seems to like Sirius, but the ending was kind of simple. It was just a brief moment together. That made it really nice. So thank you so much for signing up for my challenge and for writing this story! I liked it a lot!Author's Response: Thanks so much ^_^ I had originally paned to do it from Sirius' pov but I changed my mind at the last second lol. So glad you enjoyed it! I was a little skeptical when you sent me he ship. Such a great challenge *hugs* thanks for the review!
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Aww! You can't cut it off there! That's cruel lol.
Anyway, this is marauder_lover from the forum, giving you the review you requested!
I liked this story alot. I've never read Frank/Sirius before, but I like it, it's different. I like how you wrote it too, it was awkward in all the right places and sweet too. It was mysterious too with the whole secret staircase crack shifty thing and stuff. I liked it :)
I noticed this litle typo:
reality would come soon, but at lease
it should be 'least' other than that though, I didn't spot anything :)
Great story, I like your description of Sirius it was very true to his character I think.. Nice job!Author's Response: Hi! Glad you like my first bit of slash! I'm thinking of continuing it but I think that I might spoil it lol.I'll edit (again) I really hate when I have errors even if its just one =D
Thanks so much for the review *hugs*
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Wow! I'm not really a slash lover, but I think I'm deciding that I don't like reading Sirius romance UNLESS it's slash. If that makes sense. Anyway, this was really well-done. I think the main strength of the story is Frank's characterization. He's SORT OF Neville-ish but DH Neville who's grown into his strength somewhat. I think you convey his worries about how Sirius feels really good, and his jealousy of Remus is also very well done. Everything is very understated and not forced, so I think it works really well. The way you dealt with the fact of Alice was also very good - Frank feels truly passionate about Sirius but there is indication that he will eventually go with what society accepts and start a relationship with Alice - mainly because Sirius isn't in love with him. This is just chilling, and I like it! :) I would seriously read more if you decided to continue this in Frank's perspective. I really like your Frank a lot!Author's Response: Hey! hehe I'm glad you liked it ^_^. You make perfect sense because I'm like that also. I don't read about Sirius unless it's a slash story with him. I find when people put him with a female they make him into a player-type guy ( unless it's with Lily) which leaves his personality flat.
I tried to make Frank like Neville in a way. Loyal, kind etc and I even changed his house to fit his personality lol.
That's exactly what I was trying to convey when I brought up Alice and that's why I did!
To show that she is there and he will go with her but not until he knows how Sirius feels first. I'm so glad you liked it *hugs*
I was going to continue something depending on how this one turned out. I will continue from Frank's pov if I do but I'm not sure when.>=D
Thanks so much for the review. It really made my day! Report Review
Well, this is a good start. The spacing made it hard to read in some spots, but it was good. This wasn't really canon in thje sense that Frank and Alice are much older then the Mauraders are (they graduated before them and were well into their Auror careers by the time that the Mauraders graduated form school themselves). I could see this happening maybe in between the time Sirius graduated and the time that Frank was tortured, but not atc school (and only because they weren't at school together).
Other then those two things, this was a good start.Author's Response: Hi! Thanks. The challenge was to actually put the pair together so I just disregarded the canon to make it work how I wanted. Thanks for the review ,I'm glad you liked it!
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Haha, well for your first time at slash it's pretty good (not that I'm a terribly great expert at slash but I've read some pretty bad slash and some great slash so I guess I have an opinion that's valuable enough), especially since Frank and Sirius are such an odd couple. It kept me interested the whole way through. I like how you described Frank's feelings throughout the whole fic very well but it was slightly frustrating that I was never quite sure exactly what Sirius felt although I had my hopes for Frank's sake. Frank's personality was a bit different than I always imagined in this fic but it was perfect for the situation. 9/10Author's Response: Hi! And thanks so much, of course your opinion is valuable ^_^. I've read a lot of slash as well, some were great!! and some were...not so great lol, so this challenge interested me a lot because I had to try my hand at something that was way out of my league.
Frank was supposed to be an awkward, typical 15 year old boy struggling with new feelings and such , and Sirius, *looks nervous* lol , well his feelings weren't supposed to show but I guess that was a bad idea =D
I'm glad you like it and thanks for taking the time to review!
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This really good! I like it, the way that Frank is just so nervous but at the same time he has the guts to do it! Did you change Frank's house to suit his personality because I thought that he was a Gryffindor? But oh well! It was really good, the flow was quite nice, the only thing i wish is to know a bit more about what Sirius felt, and what he was going through...
It's one of those 'read-between-the-lines' things about Remus and Sirius and Frank's jealously but when you were talking about the whole friend thing, maybe a bit more things that could be considered flirting yet at the same time could be seen as a friendly gesture like the 'throwing his arm around his shoulder' thing.
So yes! other then that, it was REALLY REALLY good! loved it. 10/10 Hope you liked the review.
Oh yes, and in case you didn't know its KaraBlack returning your review request.Author's Response: Hi! you're so fast! I'm glad you like it. Frank was like an oc for me since we know so little about him so I decided to give him a personality ^_^ like that, that clashes so royally to Sirius' own. I did change his house for his personality, because I thought it more suited him lol.
You know, my beta Theresarogers told me the same thing. show how Sirius felt but i just thought that it was from Frank's pov and i didn't want to jump all over the place :(. I like your suggestions though lol I'm a newbie at slash here *hides*
Thanks so much for the great review =D
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