Hey there! I'm sorry for taking way to long to get to this. I was on vacation.
I loved this one-shot. I haven't read many original scorpius/rose fics like this, and I commend you for writing something I doubt anyone else could dream up. Your writing is very good as well--I wasn't able to pick up any grammatical errors, though I wasn't looking too hard. Your characterizations stayed consistent throughout, which to me is one of the most important elements of a successful fic.
The only criticism that I have is that you could perhaps extend this one-shot. When I finished reading it, I still had quite a few unanswered questions. Why are the Death Eaters still alive and going strong after Voldemort is dead? How did Scorpius become friends with the group? How did the Death Eaters gain back so much power? The biggest question I had was the first one, which seems like a very large plot device in this story. It remains unexplained, which would be okay if this was only the first chapter, but if you're still planning on keeping this a one-shot, I feel you might be better off answering that question. For me, it would make the one-shot a bit more...complete. But that's just my opinion. :)
Excellent job! And sorry again for the wait.
Aether Report Review
This is very interesting, I'm intrigued as to the context. What is the death eaters' aim? Is Voldemort alive? How come Scorpius is friends with Rose and Lily?
I enjoyed the liquid motif, and your word choice is elaborate and enthralling to read.
I think this story has serious potential but it needs to be more than just a one-shot otherwise it's too enigmatic (although in some ways that could be a plus).
If there's any chance you could have a look at my story I would be very grateful as you are clearly a good writer, also I read one of your reviews which I thought was very well written.
Probably one of the best next-gen fics I've read. Keep writing. Report Review
woow!! great first chapter. excited for the rest.
xoxo Report Review
That ending was powerful, haha. Okay, anyway, review time. -puts on game face-
This is the second story you've asked me to review, and over the course of reading these two, I have fallen in love with your style of writing. I'm such a big fan, haha. Your writing actually intimidates me, because it's so wonderful. I'll definitely be favoriting you. (:
I'm a bit disappointed in your editing, though. I found a lot of typos and grammar mistakes in this. If you'd like, I could beta this for you. Just owl me at the forums (I'm unwritten_curse there), and I can do that for you. Because fixing little things like that make a big difference.
Not only is this piece interesting and well-written, but you took a big risk by delving into Scorpius' mind, and going through the 'Mind Games' that were played on him. It paid off, by the way. This story was wonderful, and if you do write a second chapter from Rose's point of view, please make sure it's just as well thought out and amazing as this chapter was. I'm sure it will be, so no pressure, haha.
9/10 - only because the grammar issues bugged me. It's a pet peeve of mine. Your writing is still phenomenal! Report Review
I, personally, am not a fan of the Rose/Scorpius ship. I find that most of the fics they star in have them running away and are, other than lovers running away to be together, quite plotless.
You have proven to me that people can runaway from the runaway theme. Thank you. :)
This is original, I love the way that you're bringing Scorpius in as valiant and vulnerable. Great characterization! It's nice to see that he's deeper than just a non-Malfoy-ish guy who wants to run away with the Weasley girl. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING YOUR SCORPIUS TO BREAK THAT TERRIBLE STEREOTYPE!!!
On top of that, I love your details. I love your writing style, and the way you can develop an accurate and complete setting while also allowing for your reader to manipulate the scenery so it's their own... ah, that makes next to no sense. What I mean is, that most people develop the scenery so much that it's kinda like telling the reader, "Hey, this is what I saw when I was writing this fic. Now I'm going to force it down your throat and make you see it too." Sadly, I am one of those terrible writers. :) But somehow, you've miraculously let the details guide your readers to picture the correct thing, but have left out enough details where one reader can see one thing and then another reader sees an entirely different thing, but it's all related.
Argh! If that makes any sense to you in any way, CONGRATULATIONS on not only being an awesome writer, but on understanding my psyche as well - which even I can't accomplish half the time. Just know that in that entire paragraph, all I was basically saying was FANTABULISTICALLY TERRIFIC JOB WITH DEVELOPING YOUR SETTING!!!
Yeah, I should've left it at that in the first place... oh well.
Moving on, I think this entire fic deserves a 10/10. It was A M A Z I N G!!! You really should be proud of the great work you've done here.
And I can't wait for chapter two and/or the sequel. :) :) :)
*gives you a cookie in appreciation for having the chance to read such an amazing, creative, brilliant, stunning, and original fic*
-Shea Report Review
I really enjoyed this. i love the fact that not many things are explained because it adds to the confusion. i would love a next chapter.Author's Response: And I'm really glad you enjoyed it ^_^
Thank you for reading, and I hope when I do post the next chapter (because I've indeed decided that's what i'll do) you'll take a look! Report Review
write the sequel please... it's a good storyAuthor's Response: Thanks a lot!
Expect to see some sort of sequel/second chapter posted soon ^_^ Report Review
Wow! I really liked this and I think that you should totally add onto it! Add Rose's Point of View, and possibly continue the story?? Just my thought, but its really well written, even if you are not going to continue the story. Good Job!
~TajzannaAuthor's Response: Aw, thank you so much for your lovely supprot!
As people's responses have been so positive, I've actually started to work on a second chapter from Rose's perspective, and hope that you will read on when it gets posted.
Thanks a lot for the review ^_^ Report Review
i like it.
it will be intresting if you right more. Think it about it :-)Author's Response: I will indeed think about it ^_^
Thanks you for your review, and I'm extremely happy you liked it! Report Review
yeah!! it was good!! please write moreAuthor's Response: Thank you!
As it stands now, I think I will have a go at Rose's perspective, as the feedback has been very positive.
^_^ Report Review
Definitly a good story and I think it would be good to see everything from Rose's perspective. Nice work! ^_^Author's Response: I'm glad you think it's good, because I was a bit worried this story was going to be a complete car wreck...lol
And as it looks now, I probably will write a chapter from Rose's perspective.
I hope you read on if I do ^_^
Thanks a lot for the review!
Oh Phyllis! You're on a role! A Rose/Scorpius?! How inspired! I do love you, deary!
Ooh. I love Rosepius. Lmao. WRITE MORE!. See now you have to.
Hope you're doing okay down your neck of the woods.
LOVED IT WRITE MORE! Or else I'll start doing Whitey's notes. *shudders*
Lv HilaryAuthor's Response: Yay! A role!
And yay for the Rosepius. I though it was about time I 'branched out' with my ship choices. First Dramione, now this...
Anyway, I'm glad you liked it my dear, and I'll be sure to write more in order to put a stop to this terrible phenomenum that is known as 'doing work'
x x x x Report Review
really interesting chapter and idea. i really want to know where this is goin and would love it if you wrote a chapter for rose. i suppose it helps that my next-gen ship is rose/scorpius and i love them being married. well done. holly xxAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely words.
I'm glad you like the idea of this fic, and will do my best to write chapter two if enough people like this one.
So happy, though, that a Next-Gen shipper likes my story
^_^ Report Review
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