Hey! It's me...but I don't know if you even remember me because last time we talked was a while ago. You read my stories: Running From the Present and Friends? I'm just back to read your second chapter! I thought it was great. You have a good plot going so keep up the good work!

GryffindorGirl007

P.S. the second chapter of Friends? is up if you want to take a look!

Author's Response: thank you! i am having trouble writing the next chapter :S i'm really sorry
i will read your next chapter now :P #
xxxxxx

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NOO! Don't make Ginny love Dean! Sorry it's ruining my perfect little vision... lol but still it's very good!

A cliffhanger. .i like them.. . guarenteed to make sure i come back! :)

Am I right in thinking that Ginny said the last line? I hope she did. :)

Author's Response: it ok i couldn't have Ginny and Harry NOT together in the end!!!! My next chapter will be up as soon as possible..it's taking longer than i hoped.. sorry!!! thanks for reviewing :P xxx

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Aww! I love reading about Harry and Ginny getting together!

For some reason this line made me laugh . . .

"Severus Snape, tragic death of"

I don't know why it did! But great work. .just proceeding to next chapter... :)

Author's Response: thank you for reviewing!!!! :P

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No! A cliffhanger! How could you? Good chapter, anyways. But two things:
1) wasna't this supposed to be a one shot and
2) who said the last part, ginny or harry?
Thanks for a great chapter, update soon!

Author's Response: er yeah it was supposed to be a one shot but i changed my mind...i will change it.. and also, the ending, you arer not supposed to know who said it!! it is a surprise for the next chapter...but it isn't that exciting really... anyway, thanks so much for reviewing!!!!:D

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Again, vvv good, and strangley funny! Loved reading it! Still the odd little grammar mistake, but still really good!

Author's Response: Thank you sarah!!! xxx:P

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This is a really good story, but there a couple of grammar mistakes. But I'm just nitpicking coz it's a really sweet story and it really works!

Author's Response: thank you... :P

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Again, you need to slow down. Everything involved in this chapter should rightly have been in about three.

~Evie

Author's Response: thank you..i have changed the summary so far... maybe it is better now?? xxx

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Okay, this is a good start, but for now I'm just going to offer some advice and constructive crit, okay? Please don't be offended or anything, I'm just trying to help...

1) You would probably get more people to read this story if you gave a proper summary. You must think of the summary like the blurb on the back of a book. When you pick up a book in a shop, you don't read it without reading the back, do you? It's the same with stories on here. Your story summary is a place to advertise your story, and intrigue people into reading, not a place to beg for readers. I mainly clicked on this to tell you that, actually, but I read your fic too. ;)

2) You need to show a story, not tell it. At the moment, your story is very, they did this, and then they did that, and after that they did soemthing else. You need to show detail and description and feeling.

3) I thought Harry's proposal was distinctly un-romantic. The most romantic thing that happened was that he put some wine and candles on the table, and my Dad does that every sunday. I would have thought Harry would be much more nervous, and would have pulled out all the stops to make it as special as possible for Ginny. I mean, a proposal after some pie and a bit of wine? Harry would probably have made the dinner himself, and would have made something a bit more up market than pie.

3) The reactions of the Weasley's finding out where over and done with very quicl, I felt like you could have dragged that out a bit more.

For a first fic, your grammar is really actually very good. I was pleasently surprised, as there are many experianced authors on this site who still can't grasp that names need to be capitalized. However, whenever a new character speak you must skip a line.
I was rather pleased with your charcaterization, apart from the bit with Harry I talked about earlier.

Finally, I leave you with the thought that when writing a story, you must do so for yourself, as if no one else is going to read it. You must not write it on the sole pretence of getting lots of readers and reviews, you must write it to make you feel proud of it. I advise getting a beta (go onto mugglenet fanfic forums for the best ones, IMHO) and spending more time on each chapter.

I'll go and read your second chapter now, and offer advice, if nessecary, on that.

~Evie

Author's Response: thank you very much!!! i will look over it and change some stuff.. :P
thanks
xxx

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What? Ginny can't cheat on Harry :(
I thought this was a good chapter, well done. I can't wait to read more!
And, I'd like to thank you for reading and reviewing my story, I really appreciate it. I have another story that you might like... If you want to read it!
Anyway, please update soon :)
-fancycherriiebud-

Author's Response: Don't worry, it will all be ok in the end!! I would be too upset if it wasn't!! :P
thanks for reviewing :D
xxxxxxx

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This story's good for a first attempt, but you've made a couple of spelling msitakes, and your grammer's shaky.

Author's Response: thank you for reviewing!! i have updated and it is in validation now.... :P

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whoa. cliff hanger. dang. great stories though!

Author's Response: haha thank you for reviewing!!! :D

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Your summery really caught my eye, and I was only too happy to oblige, and I'm glad I did, as this was so cute! Really, very well done.

I love the way you did Harry's proposal, and you portrayed the characters very well. I hope you continue this soon!

I would really love it if you read my story, but no pressure. Only if you have the time.

~fancycherriiebud

Author's Response: thank you!! i will read your story now :P
xxx

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I thought this was a really nice story :D
I love Harry/Ginny stories and it was very good for your first fic!
I really like your characterization on Mrs Wesley, she's just as i would imagine her :D
Well done!
P.s - if you have time do you think you could R&R my story/s. I would HUGELY appreciate it :D Thank you!
p.p.s- very well done again :D

Author's Response: thank you very much!! :P

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This was a cute one-shot. V. cute and fluffy. I think you have great potential.

One thing though, you said : when Harry appeared in the front door.

Shouldn't it be when Harry appeared AT the front door?

Keep it up. ;) 8.5/10

Marauders_xx

P.S- I totally agree with your pename x)

P.P.S- When you have a spare moment, do you think you could give my stories a go? I'd really apreciate it. :)

Author's Response: thank you!! i will change it soon.. of course i will read yours!! xxx

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I loved it, but you might want to look it over. there are a few spelling errors and a few areas where it is supposed to start a new paragraph! Other than that it was really good. Please write more?!

Author's Response: thank you!! i will check it and get it revalidated soon..(if that is a word!!?)
xxx

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aww this was a really sweet story! I really enjoyed reading it and I think it was written nicely! I would love it if you could take a look at my story: Running From the Present,I would love your feedback!
Once again, a wonderful one shot!

GryffindorGirl007

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely review!! that has made me so happy!! :) i am going to read yours now...
xxxxxxxx

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nicely done. you've got a good start here. maybe a bit of suspense, something that interupts them telling everyone. good job though, keep at it

Author's Response: ooh thank you!! that is really good.. i will try and think of something exciting.... thank you....
xxx

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This is a cute one shot... good job! If you really want constructive critisism, there are a few grammar mistakes, but all in all there was nothing you really needed to fix!

Author's Response: thank you!!! i am so grateful for anything anyone wants to say... :)

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I thought it was too short for the first chapter. You should of had Harry get down on one knee. Also the reaction of everyone finding out about them being enganged was not that thringling.

Author's Response: yeah sorry i know its not great but it is my first one!!! thanx for reviewing anyway!!!

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