Poignant. Heart breaking. Great job! Now I gotta go find one with a happy ending. Report Review
Absolutely flawless. Loved the last part, especially.
xxx Report Review
Wow. Spectacular. I feel like this should be a sequel to the Affected Indifference, but as it isn't mentioned I'm going to assume it is not? Either way, I love it.
Shelby Weasley Report Review
This is fantastic. I loved the format and the ending was, for me, unexpected and excellent. Report Review
It read like a poem. So nice. Report Review
That was amazing...so well written with depth of emotion..very touching.Author's Response: Thank you :D Report Review
I loved it. Very emotional and beautiful. :)Author's Response: :D I'm so glad you did - thanks for reading! Report Review
Loved It! 10/10 Well Done : ~ )Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
Can words explain how much I loved this one-shot.
No, they won't.Author's Response: Hah! :P nicely put. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
This was beautiful! I loved the last line! Really good job, hun.
10/10Author's Response: Thanks so much :D Report Review
I really enjoyed this one. It was a bit of an insight to what Pansy probably feels. Great wording, 10/10Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review. :) Report Review
This was a heartwrenching and beautiful piece of writing. Wow... The narrative is splendid, and Pansy's portrayal realistic. The emotions are raw and their relationship gives me a heartache. Merlin, many adjectives. But - this was amazing. Well done, Elysium.Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review - it is much appreciated I assure you. ^_^
And raw I think is a great way to describe, and I'm glad you read it as such - because that's what I wanted from this. It's just a stream of conciousness, of her thoughts and her pain, unclouded by the mundane trivialties of life :P Report Review
zomg, Bammers, this was gorgeous!
your words really did gut me in a way, when using the second narrative i dunno, it just makes things more personal i guess, on some unknown level.
It was a bit hard to get into at first, because i've never read second person before in a fanfic, and your's is the first, and i'm glad it was because i thoroughly enjoyed it! ^_^ it was gorgeously written, your words were beautiful they way they flowed and the feeling that gripped me, and your imagery was beautiful, its truly is a lament ^_^
wonderful one-shot darling ^_^
i still have that funny feeling in my stomach, after reading this. hehe me likes ^_-
9/10Author's Response: Tana!! *tackle hugs* Thanks for reading this darling, I'm only sorry it's taken me so long to respond to the review! I knwo what you mean about Second person POV - and this isn't even it in it's purest form (for that I would suggest Kate (Maji's) new fic Dust - she does it wonderfully). This is like Second PoV once removed lol. But I felt it suited the theme a bit more to do it this way. I'm glad you enjoyed it hun :D
xox Kylie Report Review
Its been so long since I've read anything of yours! I must say I have always been blown away with your writing and Draco/Pansy is my favorite pairing. I absolutely loved this one shot! It is so thick with emotion and written almost poetically. The way that you repeat the same phrase really pulls the story together and makes it flow.
Your imagery is perfect and way she is speaking is so shockingly real and poignant. You have put Pansy in such a sad and overwhelming position, but it is absolutely beautiful to read about.
Great job as always :)
Your writing is so personal and honest and inspiring.
~Hannah~ xoxAuthor's Response: Hannah! It's been a long time since I had written anything in any case, particularly Pansy/Draco, which I know you love. Thank you for the beautiful words, it's wonderful to know you find my work inspiring :D
xox Kylie Report Review
10/10 I totally loved this!
I have never been able to write one-shots with that dramatic, vivid energy it needs and you have just captured that perfectly. The whole deep-and-meaningful-pansy-one-shot has been done many, many times before but your's has taken it to the next level! Very well written and a beautiful piece!
Many thanks, Becky xAuthor's Response: Becky,
Thanks so much hun, for the lovely review. You're right there are a lot of Pansy stories out there - I'm just glad you liked mine! :D
xox Report Review
I'm almost speechless. This is so well-written! I can tell that you put a lot of effort into getting the second person narrative just right and it definitely paid off. My favorite part of this story is your descriptivenes and your ability to portray human emotion with such accuracy. I also like how you never explicitly mention names or exact situations, yet the reader is able to speculate and interpret it on their own.
I honestly have no critcism of this. When I first saw the word count, I thought it would be on the short side. But upon reading, it's obvious that a shorter length is perfect for what you're writing about. Great job!Author's Response: Thank hun!! :D
I'm thrilled you liked it. Funnily enough for such a low word count this one took longer to write than some of my other (3000wd +) one-shots. You mentioned descriptiveness and portrayal of human emotion in this piece and I'm glad you did :) those are two aspects of writing that I put a huge emphasis on, much more than alot of my peers here at HPFF. I'm much more of a reflective writer than an active one and I like to look more closely at the characters themselves than whats necessarily going on around them. Some people like that style of writing and some don't *shrugs*
In any case thank you for this lovely review. xox Report Review
What can I say about this, but that it really was wonderful? No, really. I loved the bittersweet tone of it, the way she talked about his flaws being hers, and how the entire thing feels a lot like a should-have-been.
I never cared much for Pansy, I found her just someone Draco could bend and break to his will, and in this you have given a great image of things the way I see them, only, of course, with more depth and a richer vocabulary than I ever could have had ;)
The questions of the ends of the paragraphs, and the following No. You don’t. ads very much personality to the piece, and cuts it up very nicely.
Also, in my thread you worried about the second person narrative (sorry about getting here so late, by the way) - personally I think second person is underrated. Sure there's a lot of fan-fiction writers who completely butcher it, but when used correctly, as here, it makes it more personal. One really feels what she's saying.
So yeah. Major props ;)Author's Response: Thank you ^_^ This is such a wonderful review, I'm only so sorry it's taken me forever to respond which must seem so rude! Things have been crazy, but I'm so glad I've finally had the chance to say thanks for your lovely comments and I'm delighted you enjoyed it :) Report Review
Firstly, this is only the second fanficton I have ever read that has been written in the second person narrative. The first one I read was spectacular, but this one truly was stunning.
Everything about this story was beautiful, the wording, the description, the characterisation. It was honestly breathtaking.
There really isn't a lot more I can say about this. It's so completely, wow!
I adored this part: "I want to call you selfish and scream how much I hate you. But I cannot. Your flaws are my flaws, and our flaws are endless. Ultimately I know the right thing would have been to walk away when you chose her. But I did not do it then, and I know I cannot now. And that is exactly how you want it.
Because you are selfish, and that, I suppose is part of the problem. You are this way because I let you be; I let you hurt me and break me so that I exist only in my shattered form. Irreparable. Because only you can fix this. Only you can heal me, and break me, and heal me again.
And there are times when I wish I had the courage to ask you to heal me and leave me, so that perhaps it won’t hurt so much to see you leave my room again. Just one final clean break and I would wallow in pity eternally. But I think it would better that way; to know you won't return rather than to feed on the frenzied hope that when you do it might be permanent. It never is."
Stunning. Truly stunning. I have never liked Pansy before, but this story was wonderful. I really cannot find a single thing to criticise about this. It was so perfect, utterly breathtaking. Wow.
You are incredibly gifted. Well done.
Author's Response: Wow thank you so much for this wonderful review - I'm grinning from ear to ear. It's such an angsty piece - even for me, but I felt like it had to be that way because it is in a second person (once removed) narrative and anything less would have left it a little flat I feel.
Thank you so much for the wonderful and uplifting comments. Report Review
Hello. It's Rose Wilts from the forums. Sorry it's taken my a while to respond, but I'm here now.
That was incredibley beautiful.
I thought to myself, 'Oh great, Pansy and Draco, another page of wallowing in self pity.'
But it was so much more than that.
I would say perfect characterization, but there isn't really that much depth to Pansy's character in the books. I'm not saying you're wrong either, because for all we know, there could be. I'm contradicting myself here aren't I? Ha ha.
Anyway, it flowed so smoothly and I liked the use of the repeated line, 'No. You don't'. You ended it very well, it was unbelievably tender. Fantastic job. :)
RoseAuthor's Response: Thanks Rose, for the gorgeous review :)
You're right, we really don't get much of Pansy in canon and more often than not she is poorly portrayed in fanon too. I just like to flesh her out and make her real in a way that I see her.
Thank you so much for the kind words.
xox Kylie Report Review
Wow, this is so amazing.
Fics like this alway make my heart sink...
Because Pansy can't have him. They're supposed to be together!
It's the saddest thing - Draco marrying Astoria. Well, I dunno if this wonderful and beautiful story is about that, but when i heard who Draco ended up marrying, i sort of felt heartbroken. Weird, huh? I almost cried, I felt sick, I was angry with Rowling.
Pansy's pain... Oh God...
They're SUPPOSED to be together.
Draco&Pansy, Malfoy&Parkinson, Dragon&Flower, Prince&Princess...
This story was just very touching and extremly well-written. I love these kinds of fics, they really reach out to me.
Well, I'm off now, I've bothered you long enough with my sort of off-topic review.
10/10Author's Response: I would hardly call it bothering, as this was such a lovely review :P I'm glad you so enjoyed this piece. Funnily enough I always seem to write that those two don't end up together, perhaps because it leaves so much room for angst which I love in my stories. :) Report Review
so...i haven't been a fan of pansy, ever. but this story is really good. I didn't like regulus untill i read Their Dance, i guess you need fan fics to change your mind. I think this is really well written. It's sad but then the end makes it happy, and then it still has that depressing feeling to it. I don't know if that's what you were going for, but that's how i felt.Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review, and yes you did interpret it correctly - not that there is a right or wrong way. Because even though essentially he does love her, this piece is meant to demonstrate just how destructive and unhealthy that love can be. Her knowing how he feels only makes it worse for her. Report Review
*Small smile* You are truely gifted, girly. I hope you know that.Author's Response: Kerri darling - you are far to good to me :P
If you aren't careful i'm going to get a big head lol. But honestly I'm glad you liked it :) Report Review
aw that's so good! i love it! and its very draco and pansyAuthor's Response: Thank you so much - I wasn't sure if the characters were well conveyed. Report Review
21/10 is what i would give you if i could. You are a wonderful writed and i hope to read more of your stuffAuthor's Response: Thanks hun :) Glad you liked it - and please do read more, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Report Review
wow! this was flawlessly written. absolutely beautiful. my favorite part by far was this paragraph:
"I want to call you selfish and scream how much I hate you. But I cannot. Your flaws are my flaws, and our flaws are endless. Ultimately I know the right thing would have been to walk away when you chose her. But I did not do it then, and I know I cannot now. And that is exactly how you want it."
gorgeous. definately 10/10.
:]Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so much for this gorgeous and uplifting review :) I'm so glad you connected with it... the second person narrative form can be at tims a little alienating - I tried really hard to prevent that. Report Review
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