Awesomeness. I like it... it's so cute how "new" to this they are, not that I'm saying I come from experience, but they way you writ ehow they react, or do/say things.. Well it just makes them seem so innocent to it. It's very well written. You've got my attention, as little as it can last, but I'll try XD (I usually succeed when it comes to my Slytherins xD)
9/10 :)Author's Response: I'm glad that you like it! Report Review
good story, you just need to get your spelling and grammer checked, because sometimes, parts were confusing. I started to figure out that Draco and Austoria would get together really early, but its a good story. well doneAuthor's Response: I do need to get a beta for the story. I did have one for a bit but it didn't work out. As soon as I do get a beta, i'll make sure to post the revised version up so there's no grammatical and spelling errors or confusing parts. Report Review
Oh I love where this is going!! Astoria's explanation of why Draco isn't spending as much time with them is ironic and it's fun to watch Pansy's reaction.. Great chapter, can't wait to see what comes next!Author's Response: The story is going to be even better. Report Review
Haha how ironic that Astoria's explanation WOULD be accurate if it wasn't...well...not true. lol
I hope that everything with Draco/Blaise turn out okay! And I hope that Pansy doesn't stop them!
Good job!Author's Response: You will have to wait and see what Pansy does. It should be coming up in the next couple of chapters or so. The next chapter will be about Halloween and such. Report Review
Hi! Sorry that it took practically forever to get a review out for this chapter!
I like it so far! Its interesting and you can tell by the way that they all speak like aristocrats and you can tell that that is the way that they have been taught :D
Great job!Author's Response: I am glad that you like it. Report Review
I like having this chapter beginning with a conservation between Pansy and Astoria. It's ironic because Draco and Astoria later go on to marry, but now it seems like she does not care for him. I'm wondering if you'll stick to canon or stray a bit in that respect. Hmm, now I'm wondering if Astoria is in love with Pansy. That will be another twist.
I'm curious as to see if the two will make their relationship known. Update soon, can't wait to read more!Author's Response: I am working in the process of writing the next chapter. Once I am done, I don't know if I will be able to post it right away or not. It depends on when I finish the chapter and the queue opening (I am not a TA yet but hope to be one some day).
Oh, I wish I could answer your review more throughly, but I can't without it ruining my plot too much! The only thing that i can say without it impacting telling the storyling too much is I haven't thought about Astoria bein in love with Pansy. I mean, I thought it about it at first, but I thought it would impact with my story lines that I have going on right now and will have going on soon.
Anywho, thanks for the review. I much appreciate it. Report Review
I do love how they are keeping this a secret. It makes it much more realistic and I like it a lot.
I also like the hints of Astoria that you keep putting in, very clever, very sly.
One thing I would like to say, though, is that I can't see any Slytherin using the word "mate". It's a very Harry/Ron thing to say, I doubt that any Purebloods would say it at all, to be perfectly honest.
Yet again, a great plot but you need to be more careful when proof-reading it.
~Luna xxAuthor's Response: Yes Astoria is going to be playing a bigger part of the story towards the end.
I am defiantly going to be getting a beta. This story needs a lot of work on it and needs every bit of help it can get on it. Report Review
Finally they admitted it!
Although, how they did it was a tad unrealistic for my liking. They should have beat around the bush for a wee bit longer, but at least they admitted it! I loved the bit at the start; it was a typical love scene. They are both thinking about the other person, unbeknownst to the other... Oh I love it!
~Luna xxAuthor's Response: For the time length that I have set in mind for this story, it works perfectly that they admit it now. Because the rest of the story isn't posted yet, it doesn't make much sense, however when the story is posted it will make sense. Maybe once it is written up, I will change it around a little bit. Report Review
Ahaha, I loved the childish insults at the end!!
"Weasel breath girl, Loony wacko and Long stupid bottom"
Very good, very good!
I stick with what I have previously said, the plot is fantastic, but I think you are being very careless when it comes to checking your work. I know it gets rather tedious, but it's amazing how much your writing improves through checking it regularly!
~Luna xxAuthor's Response: I will go over the work and re check it. I will also think about getting a beta. Report Review
Hmm, I'm not sure about this. Your plot is very good, but I think that you are being too careless when it comes to checking your writing. There are many typos and some words/phrases that are a bit too American for Britain. But that's just my opinion.
I love how you write Blaise and Draco and I think that the rest of the story will be very interesting. Good luck!!
~Luna xxAuthor's Response: I will think about getting a beta for the story. Report Review
I really like where the plot is going with this story! However...
This chapter seemed quite rushed. It seemed like you were forcing yourself to write it and it wasn't coming naturally - it just seemed a bit... false. Also, I think you need to be a bit more careful when proof-reading it, as there are several sentences in there that do not flow very well at all, but it can be easily sorted.
I like how you introduced Astoria Greengrass, I've not seen that done before and I liked the way you did it. Well done!
~Luna xxAuthor's Response: I am glad you liked how Astoria came into the picture. Report Review
Despite many typos in this chapter, the substance was fabulous. The characterisation of Draco and Blaise is wonderful and you pull off this slash fic spectacularly!
One sentence I would like to point out:
“It is not my fault that it is not my fault that that waste of space is so easy to make fun of.”
I think you just typed some of it twice, but you may want to go back and have a look at it.
Overall, the plot of this story, and this chapter, seems very interesting, but I think you need to go through this chapter in particular and look out for any typos etc.!
~Luna xxAuthor's Response: I will go back and look over it. Report Review
Okay, firstly I would like to sincerely apologise for taking so long to review this. You requested a review back in February and here it is, May, and I am just getting round to reviewing. I am deeply, deeply sorry!
Now to the chapter!!
You have a very unique writing style and it is one that is easy to read, and very enjoyable. Some of the language you use in the dialogue is slightly too formal, but that may just be me!
I liked the way you started this story, it was different and it worked, I liked it :)
"She always managed to get on his nerves and give him a margarine, even when she was thousands of miles away from him."
I think you meant "migraine"?
Anyway, it was a great, strong, solid start to a story and I think the rest of it will be very interesting!
~Luna xxAuthor's Response: Yes, I need to get a beta for the story. I always seem to make mistakes. Report Review
Aww, it's nice to see their relationship bloom. I was excited when I read the chapter description and was about to read about their relationship. I'm excited to see where it is going from here and wonder if the friends and family will ever find out. Update soon!Author's Response: The next chpater should be up soon. Hopefully. I am going to be getting a beta soon hopefully. Report Review
Good once again.. While the conversations are a lot better you have some mistakes here, but thankfully that's easier to correct than not so good conversations! I especially liked the last one.. That was very well-written, so you should be proud! This is flow-wise by far the best chapter.. Good job!!
I really like this story and can't wait to see how it's going to turn out! :p
Just a small remark, wasn't it before year six Pansy said the comment about Ginny? I'm fairly sure, as it's the one I'm reading right now.. Hahaha.. :p
Well, I hope you'll be back to request! Heh.. I'd love to read it..
Pingo (by the way, it was an order, come back and request)Author's Response: It was sixth year, but I wanted to bring back the conversation and show how Pansy was still thinking the same thing about Ginny.
I am going to be getting a beta soon for this hopefully. That should help with all the mistakes. Report Review
Another great chappie! Loving the kissing scenes! ;)
Its nice to see that they are trying to figure out what they are doing with each other and that they want to let it grow from what they already have :DAuthor's Response: If you like the kissing scenes in this chapter, you will like what will be coming up soon.
*Cat whistle* Hehe finally some action! I've never read a Blaise/Draco before but I thing you capture everything great. Since it was a tad short, I don't have too much to say, but I am looking forward to the next update :)Author's Response: The next chapter should be up soon as soon as the validators have a chance to look at it.
As to this chapter being a tad bit short, I think once the chapter is up, it will explain why this one is short. The two chapters (when I had them together in the intail planning stage) looked like TOO much action in one chapter, so it was a nicer set up to split it up into two chapters. So, the next chapter is longer then this one.
Can't wait to hear from you soon on the next chapter, when it is up. Report Review
I liked this chapter! (sort of short but it had to be) anything else would've been to much in my opinion. It was really good and I like that Draco was going to try and push back his feelings for Blaise.
Not only that but I was pretty clever the way that they were talking about their current 'situation' with 'talking' about it. :D
Great work :DAuthor's Response: I am glad that you liked it. It was short, but when I finally split this chapter with the next one (which should be up soon), I determined that the two of them together would have been too much in one chapter and it would have been wierd. So yes. Report Review
this is funny!!Author's Response: I am glad that you thought it was funny. Report Review
This was good once again, but I felt that the last paragraph was a little out of place and charactor.. I don't imagine Draco as the kind of person who would want to fall in love.. Though he does in some stories and I realise that it's important for the plot, but I don't think he's "supposed" to be in love with a woman.. And the whole thing about wondering who it might be seems a little off too..
The other thing that's a little weird is still your conversations.. It's very difficult to pull it off great and you need to work with it still..
But otherwise it's very good.. I like the plot idea and the whole story generally.. The only reason that I may seem a little harsh on you is because I want it to be perfect! Hehe..
Good luck with the rest.. Please come back to my thread..
PIngoAuthor's Response: I will go and get a beta for this story. I think once I get a beta, the conversation and characterization will improve in the story. Report Review
I like this story! It's very interesting! I really like the beginning awkwardness between Draco and Blaise. Very good! :D
-KaraBlack :) *gives you a cookie for your good job*Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
Another good chapter. I just wish that Blaise and Draco's relationship would move along quicker, because I'm longing to get to that pairing. Good writing though, can't wait for the next chapter!Author's Response: The relationship moves along in the next chapter, so don't you worry. Report Review
iNTERESTING... CANNOT WAIT TO READ MORE!!Author's Response: I should have the next chapter up as soon as another story is validated. Don't you worry. Report Review
it good and i love so keep up the good work and maybe u can help me beta a story i been working on plzAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review. If you send me more information about your story, maybe I can help out. Report Review
Ver good job, please feel free to post again in my request form when you updateAuthor's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I will be sure to post in your request form again when the coming chapters come up. Report Review
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